My thoughts based on personal experience: Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
What he's doing is not about the baby-it's about control and power. He may have little actual interest in the child, but only wants to have control over what you do and not give you control.
Keep track of EVERYTHING. Record phone conversations if you can. Print out emails. Everything else the other posters have already mentioned.
Don't tell everything you know.
He may be bluffing, he may not. It's hard to tell. You need to be prepared for what could happen.
In my situation, it was really hard in the beginning. For us, it has turned out OK, but I have had to bite my tongue MANY a day. My ex (we weren't married) has come a long way, and I have gone out of my way to allow him to be involved in our daughter's life, through his drug problems, lack of stable employment, disappearings to all ends of the world, getting behind on child support, and general lack of responsibility. Now, he has married a very stable lady, they have a business, a new baby, and my daughter loves her dad SO much. He is really good to her, and I can tell he really loves her. Their relationship is important to both of them, and I congratulate myself all the time on facilitating that realtionship-even though he was flaky and a pain in the a$$-and still is sometimes-and even though he has not always been the kind of dad I wanted for her. I have had to put up with a lot, and I have gotten screwed (figuratively
: ) in a lot of ways, but I always put my dds best interest first, and it is in her best interest to know her dad, faults and all. No one can ever say I didn't do everything I could to make their relationship possible.
My advice-take care of the legal stuff now-don't tell him you're doing it-get everything in writing as soon as you can. Be as detailed as possible. I wish I had done that . It would have saved a lot of trouble later. We never had anything legal drawn up, we just worked it out informally, but I feel like I have been cheated in some aspects, esp. money.
Also know, it will get easier later on.
I suggest mediation to help you guys work through the issues. It can be a great experience, and no one leaves feeling beaten. Both parties can win with mediation.
Good luck, please keep us all updated. You'll be in our thoughts!