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#1 of 7 Old 08-29-2008, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am feeling really tired and overwhelmed lately.Tired as in absolutely exhausted all of the time.It goes beyond anything I've experienced.I am beginning to think that something is wrong with me as the fatigue is unbearable.

I am also feeling depressed and disappointed with myself over the way I have completely messed my life up.Divorced and a single mom to two children.No degree and working like hell to keep up financially.And yet I make $500 too much a year to qualify for fuel assistance or any other help. When ex-DH and I split,he threatened that if I asked him for support or alimony,he would make life hard for me.He isn't playing with a full deck these days and so I agreed not to ask for help.I get the kids 50% of time as does he,but it is still tight money-wise.He lives with his parents who only charge him $500 a month and that covers everything.Meanwhile,I am constantly worried that there won't be enough gas in the car to get to work.

I am stressed and don't know what to do.............

I feel like a horrible mother and person. I just want to cry
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#2 of 7 Old 08-29-2008, 08:57 PM
 
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Oh sweetie, you have not totally messed up your life.

I don't know your story, so I don't know how long you've been separated/divorced or how old your kids are.

Being a single mom can be hard ass work and when you add in financial stress and depression anyone would be overwhelmed.

Can you go to a doctor? I would suggest a check-up to rule out anything with the fatigue. I suspect the fatigue is depression related. Some counseling, nutritional support or some medication might be in order.

And you may not want to hear this, but I suggest you reconsider the no child support. Find out what your state calculator says. It sounds like anything would be of great help.

((big hugs)) to you. You are not a bad mother.
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#3 of 7 Old 08-29-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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Here's a short screening test:

http://www.med.nyu.edu/psych/screens/depres.html
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#4 of 7 Old 08-29-2008, 09:16 PM
 
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Oh mama...I'm so sorry.

You should be proud of the fact that you ARE making it work though, even if right now it's by the skin of your teeth...you're still making it.

Can I ask how he would make your life hard if you asked for support? Are his parents involved? What about yours? How is it fair that you're making HIS life easier? You're really suffering right now and deserve a break. No, not just deserve...you NEED a break.

You might want to consider talking to a therapist and taking an antidepressant or herbal supplement. I'm really not a fan of medicating but I do understand that sometimes it's really necessary (I'm medicating now), and it sounds like many of your issues are stemming from depression. Many therapists work on a sliding scale, so they will only charge you what you can afford, even if it's nothing.

You're not a bad mother, dear. You're doing the best you can and you're going to be just fine.

s

: single mom extraordinaire, keeper of eew since 02/09
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#5 of 7 Old 08-29-2008, 09:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jdubbelewe View Post
I'm really not a fan of medicating but I do understand that sometimes it's really necessary (I'm medicating now), and it sounds like many of your issues are stemming from depression. Many therapists work on a sliding scale, so they will only charge you what you can afford, even if it's nothing.


s
Yeah, I'm not normally a med pusher, but they have a place. When you are really down it can be hard to get out. Short term usage of an anti-d can help you get together enough so that you can do appropriate self care.
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#6 of 7 Old 08-29-2008, 10:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oh the Irony View Post
Yeah, I'm not normally a med pusher, but they have a place. When you are really down it can be hard to get out. Short term usage of an anti-d can help you get together enough so that you can do appropriate self care.
Exactly.

: single mom extraordinaire, keeper of eew since 02/09
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#7 of 7 Old 08-30-2008, 12:58 AM
 
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It can be so hard, and get so hard.

You are doing a fabulous job, at just surviving right now, on a limited income, without support, making the best of what you've got. You're working some miracles right now just holding it together. We know how hard it really is.

I agree with the other posters in their suggestions to get help. You don't have to be alone.

Also, I wonder about child support too? I finally, after a long time of being manipulated and intimidated, went to our state and asked them for child support. i just provided my income and the rest they did for me. they are even responsible for collecting and everything. of course, he skipped town and job hops / works under table to avoid wage garnishment, so I haven't seen a dime, but it's at least some satisfaction knowing that I did my part and didn't let him intimidate me anymore. it was profoundly empowering for me, despite not getting anything financial out of it in the end.

You have your power too, you do have it.
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