It can be so hard, and get so hard.
You are doing a fabulous job, at just surviving right now, on a limited income, without support, making the best of what you've got. You're working some miracles right now just holding it together. We know how hard it really is.
I agree with the other posters in their suggestions to get help. You don't have to be alone.
Also, I wonder about child support too? I finally, after a long time of being manipulated and intimidated, went to our state and asked them for child support. i just provided my income and the rest they did for me. they are even responsible for collecting and everything. of course, he skipped town and job hops / works under table to avoid wage garnishment, so I haven't seen a dime, but it's at least some satisfaction knowing that I did my part and didn't let him intimidate me anymore. it was profoundly empowering for me, despite not getting anything financial out of it in the end.
You have your power too, you do have it.