Moving out of state with child - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-17-2008, 02:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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2wks ago I moved from Kentucky to Illinois with my 6 month old son. His father and I have no visitation agreement. Nothing other than child support (and that even isn't complete yet) has been done through the court. He was ok with the move bc he knows I am going to school here to better my life for myself as well as my son. My fiance is in the Army and stationed in Washington state. We plan to get married in February. I should be done with school in December and I plan to move out there shortly after with my son. His father and I have talked about it and he tells me he will take me to court if I want to move out of state. I expect it and I am ok with it. But, I want to know what exactly the courts consider. I did live off of the child support for the last 3 months, but have a job now. I am doing everything I can to make a better life for my son and myself. I have documented everything that his father has done since we separated. I documented every time he was late, every time he never called, every nasty comment he made to me. EVERYTHING. I have never kept him from my son and I have bent over backwards to make sure he stays in my son's life.
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#2 of 10 Old 09-17-2008, 10:53 PM
 
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It sounds like you need to make your plans very wisely.
Since your CS is through the court system, does that mean you have an attorney? You should consult some lawyers and see exactly what you need to do as well as what kind of legal fight you might expect. Each state is different and most likely your legal battles will be in Kentucky.
It sounds like bio-dad has been cooperating so far as far as support, but you don't mention his involvement with DS. Maybe he is jealous that you are getting married and moving DS even farther away?
I hope that you can find some solutions! And do keep documenting.
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#3 of 10 Old 09-18-2008, 12:51 AM
 
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I would think even if you do need to go to court that it will not be very difficult to move out of state sometimes families need to move especially military families. It is unfortunate that you ex is being difficult about the whole matter.
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#4 of 10 Old 09-18-2008, 11:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I found out yesterday that since I've moved to Illinois my child support case is no longer open in Kentucky. The woman I talked to said that child support follows the child. So, I now have to file child support papers here. And, from childhood experience, I know that Illinois isn't near as concerned about child support in Kentucky. Thats why I started the case there.

His father called last night and was still so angry about the converstation we had the other day that he was yelling and cussing until the point that I was so upset I didn't know what to do but cry. He hung up on me because I was crying. Then, when he received the text message I had tried to send him earlier in the day explaining things, he calmed down and called me back. And, we actually had a decent conversation. He told me his concerns and I explained why I want to move. He thinks I want to move just because. Believe me, Washington isn't my ideal state to live in! Anyways, I don't really know where the conversation got us, but I do know that both of us got to say the things we needed to.

As far as having an attorney, I can't afford one at the moment. I don't think I need one quite yet. I don't think I will need one until I get married and tell him for sure we are moving. Nothing is set in stone yet. It really can't be since it is the military.

I do think that we made some progress yesterday, though.
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#5 of 10 Old 09-18-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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I'm glad things are looking a bit better today. Although you don't mention whether he agreed to keep up CS...
I'd also recommend recording phone calls!

Hope things keep getting better and that you are able to work it all out when the time comes.
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#6 of 10 Old 09-19-2008, 12:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How can I record phone calls?
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#7 of 10 Old 09-19-2008, 12:10 PM
 
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There are probably better ways, but I use a digital recorder from Radio Shack. When you are talking, hold it to the earpiece so that it records him and just keep it there (no problem recording your voice). Do practice with a friend-- I messed the first ones up and you could only hear me.
Then download the wave file to your computer -- save with date, time and subject.
I think that there are devices that you can hook up to your land line, but this is small and easy to use.
Yes, you do have to hold the phone and the recorder, but it does work!
In some states, this is admissable evidence; however, it is illegal in some states, too -- so check on it before I have you commiting a felony!
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#8 of 10 Old 09-19-2008, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! He's being really short with me on the phone right now. Just calls to check in and hangs up. He will go weeks where he is fine and wants to sit on the phone and chat. Then, when something like this happens he just calls, says what he needs to say and hangs up before I get a chance to say a word.
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#9 of 10 Old 09-21-2008, 12:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chandlersmommy View Post
How can I record phone calls?
Don't pick up- use an answer machine or voice mail. If you record anything without his knowledge, it's not admissable in court. If he leaves a message, he know's he's being recorded, know what I mean?

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#10 of 10 Old 09-24-2008, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If I don't answer he doesn't usually leave a message. He either keeps calling over and over again or he calls my grandmother. Very irritating.
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