I actually have news this time!! (about time) I have found a man who has everything on my proverbial list
Things are going very well and we keep getting closer. I can't tell you how wonderful this is. I want to say I can't believe it, but I can because I have been doing my work and feel that I really deserve someone who treats me really well
I could go on and on, but I won't...I want to leave space for everyone else
S and I have been together for almost 8 months and we continue to grow, enjoy and just constantly learn from each other. It is such a wonderful, and challenging, relationship.
For my 35 birthday last month, he bought me one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received from a bf. He gave me a gift certificate to an awesome knitting store!!! Knitting is my new hobby and he was been so supportive and genuinely interested in my knitting adventure.
Originally Posted by BelovedK
I actually have news this time!! (about time) I have found a man who has everything on my proverbial list
Things are going very well and we keep getting closer. I can't tell you how wonderful this is. I want to say I can't believe it, but I can because I have been doing my work and feel that I really deserve someone who treats me really well
I could go on and on, but I won't...I want to leave space for everyone else
So happy for you, Beloved! And Holland and all the other happy mamas!
My sweetheart and I broke up three weeks ago. It is killing me because it is so stupid and wrong, but I don't think it's going to be able to be fixed at this point.
Originally Posted by mmace
My sweetheart and I broke up three weeks ago. It is killing me because it is so stupid and wrong, but I don't think it's going to be able to be fixed at this point.
well, as incredible as it sounds to my own ears, d and i will be celebrating one year together on october 14th.
he moved in officially last month, though for all intents and purposes he's been here for months. last night in bed he turned to me and said 'how the hell did i con you into this?' i said: 'you mean, supporting me and my two kids, plus you and your own son?'
'no, i mean, we're DOING this. together. you're sharing these incredbile things with me. the five of us...' i just about melted into the bed.
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky
well, as incredible as it sounds to my own ears, d and i will be celebrating one year together on october 14th.
he moved in officially last month, though for all intents and purposes he's been here for months. last night in bed he turned to me and said 'how the hell did i con you into this?' i said: 'you mean, supporting me and my two kids, plus you and your own son?'
'no, i mean, we're DOING this. together. you're sharing these incredbile things with me. the five of us...' i just about melted into the bed.
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky
well, as incredible as it sounds to my own ears, d and i will be celebrating one year together on october 14th.
he moved in officially last month, though for all intents and purposes he's been here for months. last night in bed he turned to me and said 'how the hell did i con you into this?' i said: 'you mean, supporting me and my two kids, plus you and your own son?'
'no, i mean, we're DOING this. together. you're sharing these incredbile things with me. the five of us...' i just about melted into the bed.
Holland, BK, lunar,
:
MMace - I am sorry you're still hurting.
BF and I are going on 8 months and it is the strongest, most peaceful connection I have ever had with a partner. He is wonderful with ds, I can't even describe how amazing it is, I never thought I would find anyone who was so perfect for both of us.
yay belovedk! sounds like a sweetie. that durn UA is putting a crimp in this discussion.
going good with the guy i'm seeing. slow which is twice as good. some stuff has come up relating to ex's infidelity but i'm dealing with it and learning/growing/healing more deeply.
I'm in a quandry. Been seeing totally wonderful guy for about 2 mo but we only see each other 2 or 3 times a week and barely ever talk on the phone. Is that normal for a relationship where you go slowly?? A while back someone mentioned about that initial period where you're so in love and spend so much time together and, in thinking back, it seems that only lasted less than a couple of weeks. When we are together, it's lovely, and he's so wonderful but it's also very chaste (aside from a handful of encounters). I guess it's good to go slowly, but it seems he's just not interested in much more than what we've got and I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to get him to pay more attention to me and have sex with me. That's not the relationship I was looking for.
So, is this all just because it's going slowly?? I've never done the slow thing so I have no reference point. He isn't seeing anyone else and he does pay attention when he's here, but he's just not really here much. It's been a week since I've seen him, with one hour of talking on the phone (he was out of town last weekend) and I've really started forgetting him (I'm HORRIBLE at long distance because I forget people when I don't see or talk to them) so, at this point, it feels like it'd be easier to just continue to not see him than to get together and be reminded of how much I like him and go back to wishing I could be with him more. He's never had a long term relationship and I don't think he really knows how to, but I also keep thinking he's just not that into me, even though he tells me all the time that he is.
and, on top of that, my life has been one financial crisis after another since my ex moved out last summer so I feel like I'm constantly battling depression and panic over money and that I need to put on a happy face about it with him (not that he's asked me to, it's my issue). He's such a stable, responsible guy and I feel like such a screw up for my life being the wreck that it is.
on the bright side, ex and my family are pitching in for childcare so I get 6 hours a day to work, which will hopefully help with the financial sitch, if only the economy would start turning
Originally Posted by Oh the Irony
yay belovedk! sounds like a sweetie. that durn UA is putting a crimp in this discussion.
going good with the guy i'm seeing. slow which is twice as good. some stuff has come up relating to ex's infidelity but i'm dealing with it and learning/growing/healing more deeply.
I know
He sent me flowers at work, and he treats me sooo well (not used to that) I wish I could talk about the things that we can't, though I have to admit, there was a little 'whoops' and I am a slight bit worried ifkwim
wow, bk, that sounds fantastic. This is such a mushy sweet thread, it makes me feel especially bad for the mamas who have love lives not going so well.
and yeah, I wish I could hear/share the juicy parts.
Well Lunar - , as a mama who's love life isn't going so well, (mostly because I have baggage) this thread is inspiring, reminding me that there are men out there that won't get freaked out over my children. I think back to my ex, who is a great Dad and a good friend. When we started dating he said he didn't want kids, but might have one, but just one. Well, 8 years later he's the mushiest Dad. Men are like wild animals, they scare easily. It's best to approach with your hand stretched out so that they can sniff and without making eye contact.
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Robin - Did you both decide to go slowly? My example is with a man who's probably not into me... But he was very attentive and affectionate. He always called when he said he would, love letters, complements, spending every day off with me, trying to get me to meet up with him in the middle of his work day just to kiss.... treating me like I was going to be in his future..... Then he decides that he needs to pull back on the reigns and not dive in, and all the attention stopped. So, did you guys decide to do so? To slow it down? My example is just to prove that the man I speak of would naturally shower a woman with attention, and has with his exes, but is purposefully not being himself. So I think maybe for both of us, it's either because they are 'just not that into us" or.... They are purposefully holding back.... Maybe both.
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An update on me... I haven't called E (attorney man) in a week. Last time we talked it was him happily txing me the morning after an amazing night of hanging out with me, his friend of 8 years and my ex-hubby. Im gonna wait for him to call me. I seem to fall in and out of love with him. At least he's been 100% a good man this entire time. Or else I'd have to wonder how sane I am. It only takes a couple lessons in life to learn to not love a man who treats you badly....... At the same time, I am open to others because I see some good examples of other men who I'd really like. All in all I'm ready for a relationship. I've been singe for YEARS with no boyfriend. Just a couple 2 weekers.
Robin, you see him 2 or 3 times a WEEK? That seems like quite a lot to me. Did you mean 2 or 3 times a month?
I've finally found somebody I connect with. I've talked to him a lot and gone out with him a few times and it's gotten pretty hot and heavy really fast. Probably too fast, but I don't care.
But, he's all about respecting my boundaries and not letting it get too serious. I haven't talked to him for several days because he said needed to back off so as to not get too attached. Awesome. We are going to see each other tomorrow. Yay!
Thanks for sharing, mamas, it really is heartwarming and cheering to hear your stories.
I'm reading Suzanne Lopez's book Get Smart with Your Heart: the intelligent woman's guide to love, lust, and lasting relationships. Good stuff! Thanks for the recommend, PP. I am on a huge learning/growing/developing kick! Any more book recommends for me?
[This could be a whole 'nother thread...] I am also on a path to develop my spirituality and have discovered that I'm interested in walking an "earth-based" path. Any recommendations for how to develop that besides reading? (And what to read, anyway?)
I'm so glad that I thought to check here at MDC for single parenting support! Yeah! I've been separated since last springtime and want to start dating. I'm looking forward to getting some support about dating and how to go about it, since I haven't "dated" in 10 years!
urmysun.... I remember my first date after not dating for 6 years and how nervous I was and how big if a deal it seemed. Now I can date blind folded and with one hand tied behind my back.
Originally Posted by rubelin
When we are together, it's lovely, and he's so wonderful but it's also very chaste (aside from a handful of encounters). I guess it's good to go slowly, but it seems he's just not interested in much more than what we've got and I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to get him to pay more attention to me and have sex with me. That's not the relationship I was looking for.
I don't know rubelin. 2 times a week sounds fine to me--that's all I would be able to swing with someone though. I think you gave yourself a pretty good answer above. It doesn't sounds like it is the relationship you want. Could it develop? Not sure. Is the chemistry there when physical stuff does happen? It is a bit of a red flag that he hasn't really had a long term relationship.
okay all! i am back with a happy update! last month, my partner (he's also one of my best friends in the world) and i hit a bump in the road with our plan to buy a house. we had a talk and i found that he was freaking out because he wasn't used to having help as a single parent. we talked it out and we have moved through it.
it is scary for both of us, but we have been friends for 21 years and we came to the conclusion that this is an awesome opportunity to complete our families, have some support, and we've always have a lot of love for each other. solid love, not always the butterfly romantic love, but the kind of love that makes us available to share our fears and cry with one another.
i have been lucky to have him and he's been lucky to have me, so we are going forth with our plans!!!
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