YES, YES, YES! I know exactly what you're talking about!!! DH died 16 months ago
, leaving me alone with Hannah, now 5.5, and Hayden, 3.5. I'd never thought about it before, but we parented my kids primarily the way I
dreamed of my kids being parented. Obviously I am still free to do that/be that kind of mom, but I had NEVER
imagined doing it alone!
I've often said I wish I had a recording of his voice to play from his corner of the living room saying, "Hey you guys, leave your mom alone!" There's no advocate for mom anymore. Yeah, I get lots of help ... when I ask
for it. How do you ask for that "other parent perspective" when they're not my child's parent? How do you ask your family for "balance" when they doubt your sanity? My parenting choices are so different than my family's. It was easier to be part of a TEAM; Mitch took every idea he liked and made it his own (ya woulda thought his kids were the first ever breastfed babies in the world!); the ideas he didn't like, we would hash out and debate and discuss and mold to fit our family (homeschooling~he did the whole first year with Hannah's kindergarten and Hayden's preschool). Now I can make those decisions, but I wonder if I have the proper perspective to make those decisions for our FAMILY. Now that said, I am fortunate to have discussed a lot of things with Mitch before his death, so I do have a fair share of his perspective on things like homeschooling, church, our daughter's dates or lack thereof, but it's the day to day stuff that makes me miss him the most ...