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Queer Parenting > Queer and Newborn!
sunwillshine's Avatar sunwillshine 11:27 AM 08-11-2010
Originally Posted by FarmerFemme View Post
Motherhood is everything. Everything I ever wanted, all I hoped for, and of course, so much more.
I. Love. This. I cannot wait!

Originally Posted by pleasantlyfurious View Post
DP got a new job and we are moving to Philadelphia by the end of the month. We put down a deposit on an apartment (that I've never seen in person! but DP assures me I will love) and now we are facing packing up.
Wowee! So glad you found a place! We should lunch when you get here and are settled (assuming I haven't gone into labor/stopped working in the city by then). Good luck with the move!

... sorry I'm crashing. Just have to pop over here every so often to keep up (and, well, I'll be joining y'all in about 4 - 9 weeks!).

carmen358's Avatar carmen358 02:49 PM 08-11-2010
Originally Posted by indigoscot View Post
ds1 turns THREE today!!!! happy birthday to our amazing son. it's also my dp's birthday. double the celebrations.

How did I miss this? Late happy birthdays!!

Congrats, FarmerFemme.

Pf, I hope your move goes smoothly! I have no tips for you except don't stress out (that's easy to do, right?)

DD started to do a "real" crawl this morning - eep! She's been getting around pretty well by rolling, stomach crawling but this looked like the real thing! Must baby proof NOW!!!
osker's Avatar osker 02:52 PM 08-12-2010

Hello! We're over here now! WOW!
E was born on Wednesday, early morning! She already loves breastfeeding, hooray!
H had a c-section after 32 hours of contractions every two minutes and pushing for six hours. Apparently baby girl just felt like having a lot of attention. We're still in the hospital until Saturday and just trying to enjoy every moment. It still feels quite surreal and, I'm sure, will seem very strange to take her home and keep her forever. She still feels like someone will show up at any moment to say thanks for babysitting!

carmen358's Avatar carmen358 10:35 PM 08-12-2010
Yay, Esther!

Great to hear breastfeeding is going well

Our DD is over 7 months old and we still sometimes have waves of "is this real??? you mean she is going to stay with us???"

Enjoy the early days, it goes by SO quickly...everyone says that and it's true! It truly is such a unique and special time that is a once in a lifetime thing!
FarmerFemme's Avatar FarmerFemme 02:27 PM 08-27-2010

Welcome to the world E!

carmen358's Avatar carmen358 05:12 PM 08-27-2010
It's been my experience that my libido is pretty much gone since giving birth. I've since learned that this is really common while breast feeding. My DP is very understanding but I know our relationship is more whole with the physical part as well! Early on I was so tired that having sex was really the last thing on my mind. It's starting to come back now but I still don't feel really sexual about my body yet. It bothered me for a little while but now I sort of feel like this is such a short part of our relationship overall that I'm really ok with it. I know it will change again so for now, neither of us is focusing on what we aren't doing and just trying to be intimate with what we're working with now. If that makes sense lol

Sorry for the quickie message, DD is a crawling machine these days....I'm sure others will add comments too
indigoscot's Avatar indigoscot 05:34 PM 08-27-2010
what carmen said. my libido took a complete nose dive while nursing. once i explained that to dp she was so understanding!! we had just got back into enjoying each other again when dp got pregnant and had hg for most of her pregnancy. she has not experienced the same sex drive loss with nursing but with a 3yo and a baby (who co-sleeps at least part of the night) it's hard to be spontaneous OR plan anything. we know it gets better, so we are hanging in there and making sure we are still connecting.

mkpgoddess's Avatar mkpgoddess 12:39 AM 08-31-2010
Hi all,

I guess we're over here now Cate was born via emergency c-sec on 8/18. We have an almost four year old DD too, who waffles between wanting to hold HER baby and being mad at me for having her :sigh.

RE: sex - there is something about just having a child that does nothing for the sex drive and if you are bf'ing, that compounds the problem. Touching, even non-sexually like hugging, can really help. Carving out even 30 minutes of "couple time" where you stand in the kitchen and share ice cream works to dispel the "roommate" feeling. Also, consider just giving her...ahem...attention without feeling like you HAVE to receive will make a big difference. She feels wanted and desired, you feel needed and just maybe THAT kind of activity will spark your own interest....

Having said that, at 11 days post c-sec, I don't want diddlysquat, but I do miss being touched by someone other than children....sigh...
carmen358's Avatar carmen358 03:39 AM 08-31-2010
Congrats and welcome to Cate
FarmerFemme's Avatar FarmerFemme 01:53 PM 08-31-2010
Thanks for the responses to my questions!

Welcome to the world Cate!!
megan sacha's Avatar megan sacha 02:44 PM 08-31-2010
Guess we're over here now too. Zivia Littlewood was born at a birth center 8/23 at 5:19am at 7lb, 14oz and 20.5in. At 8 days pp, my stitched up bottom is starting to feel a bit better and I may attempt sitting today.

BFing is going really well. The engorgement is no fun but DD moved onto transitional stool by 24 hours and was back up to her birth weight by 6 days! And her cheeks are already getting chubbier.

I still haven't been able to type up my birth story, but think I will once I can relatively comfortably sit. It's too hard to type much while lying on your side.

Pic of Zivia: http://www.flickr.com/photos/davis_digi/4924342011/
FarmerFemme's Avatar FarmerFemme 03:34 PM 08-31-2010
Oh my goodness Megan and Sacha, she's so beautiful! Congratulations to you all! Sending healing juju to your bum.
pleasantlyfurious's Avatar pleasantlyfurious 09:08 PM 09-14-2010
zivia is gorgeous!

welcome cate! and welcome esther!

farmerfemme - totally agree with the multiple levels of intimacy! we've been hurting, but now (at almost four months) leo is sleeping in longer chunks during the day, going to bed earlier than us, and getting really good a happily playing on the floor on his own for a bit of time. (and yet I still feel like it's hard to find a minute!) so we've begun revisiting couch cuddling and it's made a big difference, but still doesn't match the level of intimacy we had before baby. your partner sounds so sweet and romantic
pleasantlyfurious's Avatar pleasantlyfurious 09:09 PM 09-14-2010
lyndzies - yes, we are here, and more or less settled. Let me know when/if you have some time!
pleasantlyfurious's Avatar pleasantlyfurious 09:40 PM 10-05-2010
Hi everyone! How's everyone doing?

We are great. Leo is scooting around all over the place and blowing raspberries and saying "ahhhhhhh" when we pat his mouth so it goes "ah-ah-ah-ah-ah" which he finds hilarious. Nursing is going strong. Cloth diapering is going strong. We are happily settling into Philadelphia and making mommy and baby friends. Life is good.

Also - and this may sound insane, but our KD moved in. He is dp's brother and we've always been close with him (obviously) and we even lived together for a bit a few years ago. Well, dp and I owned a cafe and he worked there for the last three years (so he's been in our daily life for a while already), so when we moved away we closed the cafe and he was left looking for a new job. So he was like, hey, I'm starting over anyway, it would be great for me to get a change of scenery, too. Can I come stay with you guys until I get on my feet and find a job out there? So we said sure. And he's been here for about a month and so far it's been great. No boundary crossing and he's a ton of help and he loves Leo and us. My biggest complaint is that dp and he have typical sibling bickering that drives me nuts - ha. Of course it's still early, but so far, I'm so glad we said yes!
megincl's Avatar megincl 10:04 PM 10-05-2010
So great to hear a Leo update, PF! It definitely sounds great to have your KD/DP's brother with you -- the more the merrier, the more love to go around!

AFU, Wylie turned 3 months this weekend. Where does the time go?!?!? She is such a different person now, holding conversations, grinning HUGE, etc. Eating, nursing, gas...these things continue to be an issue for her and they have helped prove to us how VERY different one kiddo can be from the next. I'm wondering if, perhaps, there's a tiny bit of rhythm coming into our life as a family (not necessary from W, but from the rest of life). I'm looking forward to just a *bit* more.

Looking forward to hearing about some other new babes....

Be well all.
jjnoho's Avatar jjnoho 11:44 AM 10-06-2010
i haven't been active at all on these boards since our little one was born on july 6. i have been so wrapped up in being a mummy that the internet has become a distant memory!

congrats to all the new mothers around here and hope you all are enjoying this as much as i am. sam is 3 months old today and weighing in at 17lbs 6oz! he is a healthy, happy, and well fed baby i love watching all of the changes that seem to happen daily with him and see him starting to explore the world.

sadly, i had to start back at work yesterday since we didn't win the lottery it actually wasn't as horrible as i had imagined and the day flew by and then i was home with sam again. i am happy that i get the option to work part time since i am self employed. hopefully work will provide me the opportunity to tune back into this board!

take care and look forward to hearing about other babies...
indigoscot's Avatar indigoscot 02:25 PM 10-06-2010
i agree about the time rushing by and it seems even more so to me with 2 kids!

pf - sounds like an ideal situation to me!! like megin said, more love.

megin, i hope your rhythm continues to improve!

jj - so glad sam is happy and healthy and that going back to work wasn't as hard as you anticipated.

ds2 is now 8.5 months. he learned to crawl, pull up and cruise in the SAME WEEK at around 7.5 months. he is so proud that he can do all these things, lol! we just this week barricaded the living room (our kitchen, living room and den are open plan) and he was SO P*SSED that he could no longer get into the kitchen and den. he cut his fifth tooth this past weekend and is working on #6. solids started at 6 months and he loves.food. still nursing on demand, which we will continue to do.

he is rapidly moving out of the baby phase and i'm sure will be walking soon like big brother (they are on almost exactly the same schedule with milestones).

on friday we head off on our first family vacation since ds2 was born. wish us luck, lol!!

carmen358's Avatar carmen358 07:15 PM 10-06-2010

It's awesome to hear updates! I'm glad everyone's little ones are doing so well and families are adjusting and settling in

DD is 9 months now and still changing daily. We are having some sleep challenges the last week or so but with all the developmental changes and more teeth coming (she already has 8!) it makes sense. I have panic attacks sometimes that I will never sleep again lol I try to roll with it though and since I'm not back at work until next summer I can take naps with her during the day and catch up a little bit.

She is cruising and babbling (says mama, geegee?, blahblahblah, etc.) and we are mostly doing baby led weaning which is super fun once I got over the choking paranoia (which is still there...just not as bad).

I sometimes post photos on my blog (listed in my profile)

carmen358's Avatar carmen358 07:39 PM 10-06-2010
Oh, and good luck on the family vacation, indigo! Where are you off to?
indigoscot's Avatar indigoscot 09:04 PM 10-06-2010
carmen, we are off to disney! normally not something we would do, especially with the boys being so young but my sister and her family are coming over from scotland and that's where they are vacationing.

hbog's Avatar hbog 01:22 PM 10-07-2010
It's so nice to hear everybody's updates. Lots of happy, well-loved babies out there. We just celebrated 6 months and are starting to experiment with solid food. D is 18 lb and 28". He still eats every two hours, maybe going three hours at night. I love being a mom! I never thought I'd know what to do with a baby, and it's been such a wonderful surprise how natural it all feels.

I usually check for activity on this thread, so I don't know how I missed that great discussion on sex life after baby. Here we're happy if we fit in a good night kiss Hopefully it will be time to make our relationship a priority again soon. It seems like we do a lot for each other and our family but don't take time to connect really. And I don't really know how to fix that right now.

Take care everybody!
FtMPapa's Avatar FtMPapa 04:46 PM 10-07-2010


Here we are! http://picasaweb.google.com/arjunagr...vsqszWssvywgE#

Elise was born on Sunday - she is happy and blithe and gay!
mkpgoddess's Avatar mkpgoddess 09:17 PM 10-07-2010
Oh, Papa - you did GOOD! Welcome, Elise!! (LOVE the name!!)

AFU - we are 7 weeks as of yesterday. BF'ing is going well, although I'm not sure how she's doing weight wise (our next appt isn't until the 19th) and am just setting myself up for the pedi to yell at me because I make tiny babes and they don't tend to gain according to charts and graphs Somehow, however, I have strep and am trying hard to balance penicillin with acidophilus and yogurt so we don't end up with thrush.

I'll come back and add pictures soon. It's so great to see how the rest of the Queer babes are doing!!!!

osker's Avatar osker 12:43 AM 10-08-2010
Hi All! I love this thread!

Esther was eight weeks old yesterday. I think it's all still such a whirlwind that half the time I don't know what's going on! I've been back at work since week 2 and H is back at work now and takes Esther with her every day. Getting back into work mode has been tough. I didn't expect to care so little about my work but feel so guilty when I'm not doing it well... I am constantly tugged between feeling the need to do more at work and not really caring that I'm doing less because I'd rather be at home with my family... but I'm sure I'll become more comfortable with it as time goes by.

We're still trying to figure out evenings. That's our biggest hurdle at the moment. We've got mornings and getting out of the house down alright, days are good, and nights are decent (Esther sleeps with us, so we get fair chunks of sleep)... but those evenings! Yowsa! Esther is a very opinionated little person when she's tired and wants to eat and go to bed!
This weekend we're having her baptized in our church and have family coming in and parties and business all weekend!
Having a daughter is still unbelievable and amazing!
carmen358's Avatar carmen358 03:29 AM 10-08-2010
Wow, disney with a toddler and a baby...you are brave, indigo! I hope you have a great visit with your family!

Welcome to the world, Elise! I know you are already so well loved Thanks for sharing the photos, papa. As an aside, how are kjm and kale doing?

mkp and osker, thanks for sharing updates too! It doesn't take long to get into the swing of things! I felt like it took a long time but in hindsight it's a blink of an eye.
indigoscot's Avatar indigoscot 08:34 AM 10-08-2010
aww, papa, elise (love the name!) is SO cute!

pleasantlyfurious's Avatar pleasantlyfurious 01:07 PM 10-08-2010
Yay! Congrats Papa! Welcome Elise!
hbog's Avatar hbog 04:29 PM 10-09-2010
Congrats Papa! I teared up a bit when I saw your new sig. You've shared so much wisdom with others on this board and it is so, so right that you are now holding your own babe. Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Carmen. And any other Canadians out there. Also anyone who is not Canadian but thinks their year warrants an extra one. I'll be extra thankful this year, that's for sure.
sunwillshine's Avatar sunwillshine 06:23 PM 11-22-2010

Hi everyone!  I finally get to join.  :)


Cadence was born a little over a month ago, and we are so completely enamored with her.  :)


I posted over in Birth and Beyond and my DDC, but wanted to share my story here, too.  It's long, so I'm just going to link to the three blog posts in which I tell our story:


The Birth Story, Part I: Notice of Eviction

The Birth Story, Part II: A "Gentle" Induction (a.k.a., The Seventh Circle of Hell)

The Birth Story, Part II: Plan C


You can also see lots of pic of her on the blog!  I may be a little photo-happy.  Lol.


Also, we've got DP on the birth certificate, which is great since we used a KD w/ at-home insemination, and haven't completed the adoption process yet (hearing is in January).  BUT, our lawyer's been great and is actually giving an inservice to teach the folks at the hospital at which we delivered proper procedures for filling out the application for birth certificates for same-sex couples in New Jersey civil unions (we were the first to give birth at our hospital). 


He's also hoping to get in touch with someone at the state level about revising their current birth certificates to say "parent 1" and "parent 2."  DP, who most definitely identifies as a female had to be listed as "father" on the cert, because that's the only option.  Hoping we'll eventually get a revised one.


Blazing trails, my lovelies!  Three cheers for all of us. 


Hope everyone is having a great autumn!

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