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#181 of 204 Old 02-14-2011, 05:48 PM
 
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So we did our photo shoot :)

 

Here is the result !

 

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=269288&id=521264032&l=a1e1ca8da4


Celebrating the arrival of our twins twins.gifCharlie & Chloe, born Jan 28th 2011 !

 


 

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#182 of 204 Old 02-14-2011, 07:03 PM
 
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Absolutely beautiful!!


K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#183 of 204 Old 02-15-2011, 11:22 AM
 
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Coco- Adorable!!! I love the little smiles and the side by side one and the teddy bear pic! Great little models you got there!


Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#184 of 204 Old 03-16-2011, 05:58 PM
 
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Coco - the pictures came out so great.  They are beautiful!!

 

Leo just turned ten months (double digits!  ahhhh!) and we just made a pavilion reservation at the park near my parents' home for his first birthday.  I can't believe it.  He's hungry all the time; eating and nursing constantly.  He's on the verge of standing on his own/walking.  DP and I just celebrated 10 years together.  And we are all loving the warmer weather and longer days. 

 

How is everyone else doing?


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#185 of 204 Old 03-16-2011, 06:37 PM
 
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That's awesome! Happy Anniversary and Happy ten month birthday Leo!

 

We're doing well, settling into life in the big city. Esther continues to amaze us with her awesomeness... today she cut her first tooth, after four months of working on it! ;)  She sits, she rolls, she's working on crawling. She also has different sounds for Mama and Mommy, which is just amazing.  She's sleeping nine hours every night, then eating and sleeping 3-5 more, so we're finally back on the good sleep train, which is wonderful.

 

I can't believe we've finally made it, I think, to Spring.  Hooray!!


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#186 of 204 Old 03-16-2011, 09:57 PM
 
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Congrats on the two big milestones, pf!

 

I hope teething goes quickly and painlessly for Esther, osker. Skylar has a really hard time with it...we are just waiting for her last 4 molars now!

 

We are also enjoying the warmer weather. Skylar is 14 1/2 months old and is running around now. She hates sitting still and is so busy. Both her and I are on an elimination diet at the moment to try and figure out some possible food allergies. Sleep has been really rough in our house since about 7 months but it looks like food may have been the culprit as we are starting to have some better sleep finally! Even with all the sleep deprivation we are just about to start ttc #2 in May or June with the same KD! I hope it goes smoothly and quickly. I am on maternity leave until July and then my DP will stay home for the rest of the year. We are hoping I'll be on maternity leave again soon so we don't have to deal with child care ;)

 

Nice to read some updates!


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#187 of 204 Old 04-19-2011, 03:31 PM
 
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Hey, all! I haven't been a very active poster lately... This is my first time on Q & Newborn. smile.gif

For the most part, things have been great... DP and I couldn't be more in love with him or each other! Silas is a pretty mellow baby, he's a great nurser, etc. He isn't sleeping at night so well but that's par for the course. Our biggest challenge as a family is the fact that DP is feeling pretty useless when it come to comforting the boy because all he wants is boob. She totally understands there is nothing we can do to change this, however it doesn't keep her from feeling inadequate. She has quite a maternal drive and it pains me to see her hurting because she can't comfort our son the way I (the milkfactory) can.

Does anyone have words of wisdom, shared experiences, or just words of comfort? Between sleep deprivation, mild baby blues and this "issue", I could really use some support. TIA. redface.gif

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#188 of 204 Old 04-19-2011, 08:21 PM
 
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Hi

 

I am thread jumping but .. can you pump and let her feed him one feeding a day? Are you opposed to Silas having a bottle? It will be good bonding experience for the both of them and give you a break !! But one thing to rember is to be consistent in her feeding him once a day.. boob babies always prefer the real thing!!! Hope this hels

 

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Originally Posted by wehrli View Post

Hey, all! I haven't been a very active poster lately... This is my first time on Q & Newborn. smile.gif

For the most part, things have been great... DP and I couldn't be more in love with him or each other! Silas is a pretty mellow baby, he's a great nurser, etc. He isn't sleeping at night so well but that's par for the course. Our biggest challenge as a family is the fact that DP is feeling pretty useless when it come to comforting the boy because all he wants is boob. She totally understands there is nothing we can do to change this, however it doesn't keep her from feeling inadequate. She has quite a maternal drive and it pains me to see her hurting because she can't comfort our son the way I (the milkfactory) can.

Does anyone have words of wisdom, shared experiences, or just words of comfort? Between sleep deprivation, mild baby blues and this "issue", I could really use some support. TIA. redface.gif


 

 


Loving life with our triplet boys born Feb 24th 2013 at 34 weeks biggrinbounce.gif

 

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#189 of 204 Old 04-19-2011, 09:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wehrli View Post

Hey, all! I haven't been a very active poster lately... This is my first time on Q & Newborn. smile.gif

For the most part, things have been great... DP and I couldn't be more in love with him or each other! Silas is a pretty mellow baby, he's a great nurser, etc. He isn't sleeping at night so well but that's par for the course. Our biggest challenge as a family is the fact that DP is feeling pretty useless when it come to comforting the boy because all he wants is boob. She totally understands there is nothing we can do to change this, however it doesn't keep her from feeling inadequate. She has quite a maternal drive and it pains me to see her hurting because she can't comfort our son the way I (the milkfactory) can.

Does anyone have words of wisdom, shared experiences, or just words of comfort? Between sleep deprivation, mild baby blues and this "issue", I could really use some support. TIA. redface.gif


We didn't bottle feed DD at all for the first 4 or 5 months as we wanted to make sure breastfeeding was very well established (I was paranoid of her preferring a bottle) and we actually have only given her a bottle a handful of times (I've been off work so no need to pump really). DP was totally on board with that. For us, DP would do things like read to DD when she was full (she used to be able to put DD to sleep this way at night and for naps), walk lots with her in the Ergo (this is a great bonding time), have a bath with her....there are lots of ways to connect with baby besides nursing. Oh, DP did almost all diaper changes during the night and when she was home. Of course, nursing was/is DD's favourite activity but I think that's completely natural, healthy and it's great that your DP is understanding of that. My DP used to always tuck in a million pillows when I was nursing to make me more comfy or bring me water or make sure DD was covered up and cozy. She cared for us as a unit during those times (and still does!) and I think that made her feel like she was contributing more.

 

Try not to over think it too much...being a new parent is such an intense time and in my experience it's easy to get caught up in 'stuff' that really isn't worthy of getting caught up in ;)

 

 

 


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#190 of 204 Old 04-19-2011, 10:32 PM
 
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We didn't bottle feed DD at all for the first 4 or 5 months as we wanted to make sure breastfeeding was very well established (I was paranoid of her preferring a bottle) and we actually have only given her a bottle a handful of times (I've been off work so no need to pump really). DP was totally on board with that. For us, DP would do things like read to DD when she was full (she used to be able to put DD to sleep this way at night and for naps), walk lots with her in the Ergo (this is a great bonding time), have a bath with her....there are lots of ways to connect with baby besides nursing. Oh, DP did almost all diaper changes during the night and when she was home. Of course, nursing was/is DD's favourite activity but I think that's completely natural, healthy and it's great that your DP is understanding of that. My DP used to always tuck in a million pillows when I was nursing to make me more comfy or bring me water or make sure DD was covered up and cozy. She cared for us as a unit during those times (and still does!) and I think that made her feel like she was contributing more.

 

Try not to over think it too much...being a new parent is such an intense time and in my experience it's easy to get caught up in 'stuff' that really isn't worthy of getting caught up in wink1.gif

 

 

 


This is brilliant advice. I think it's normal for partners to feel displaced and envious of the newborn/bio mother bond. It's also a massive ideological challenge to many of us who are feminist mothers and want to work toward true equal parenting. It's such an interesting, biologically determined paradigm. But as Carmen said, there are other ways in which you can encourage and nurture their relationship. Your babe is so new Wehrli, it's very normal for him to want you and the boob almost all of the time. Slowly but surely that will change but it is perhaps worth spending some time and energy contemplating with DP that her relationship with your beautiful babe won't really start to become independent of you for quite some time. My DP said that it took 18months for her to feel fully connected and capable with DS and that was despite plenty of one-on-one time and a real consciousness of developing the relationship. The newborn days are truly precious but they're also short and you have a whole lifetime ahead. My DS is now 28 months and still breastfed but has plenty of days where he favours DP over me.

Good luck.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#191 of 204 Old 04-20-2011, 03:54 AM
 
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Wehrli, I agree with Carmen and MMM that there are other things to do.  My kids' mom felt very useless for a long while.  There are lots she can do besides nurse, but I felt like mentioning that she can give him the boob, it's basically a bink.  It doesn't feel as easy as it is for us, but if the baby just wants to suckle for comfort, an empty boob works fine.   As does a clean pinkie (which is slightly less controversial).


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#192 of 204 Old 04-20-2011, 11:37 AM
 
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YAY! Welcome to Q&N, Wehrli!

 

I agree with the others, about having special things that your DP and the baby do together. For us, it was ALL diaper changes and putting to sleep (if it didn't include only going to sleep on the boob), baths, etc. Our situation was a bit different because of my PPD. For about the first 2 weeks, I could only handle DD on me if she was nursing, all other time she was with DW. That slowly changed as I got better and the nursing got better (then got worse and I ended up EPing-but that's another thread!). Still today (5 months later) DW does all the baths and the putting to sleep (she's SO good at it. I suck at it!). I think a lot of bonding can happen without feeding. Like other PP's said, DW would take care of us as a unit. She made all the meals, grocery shopped, did laundry, and made sure we were comfy and taken care of. Yes, she said she felt like the hired help for about a month, but it slowly changed. Now she's the SAHM and sometimes I feel like DD is more bonded with her now! ;)

 

I hope everyone else is doing well! DD is doing great, just hanging out, being a baby. Here is a recent Easter pic I took.

 

Sophia April 2011 068edit2.jpg


Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#193 of 204 Old 04-20-2011, 08:04 PM
 
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Hi

I am thread jumping but .. can you pump and let her feed him one feeding a day? Are you opposed to Silas having a bottle? It will be good bonding experience for the both of them and give you a break !! But one thing to rember is to be consistent in her feeding him once a day.. boob babies always prefer the real thing!!! Hope this hels



thanks for your input! smile.gif we are trying to hold off on introducing a bottle until later... DP and I both agree this is best for our boy. but we do hope to eventually try this, if for no other reason than for me to have a break once and a while. wink1.gif
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Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post



We didn't bottle feed DD at all for the first 4 or 5 months as we wanted to make sure breastfeeding was very well established (I was paranoid of her preferring a bottle) and we actually have only given her a bottle a handful of times (I've been off work so no need to pump really). DP was totally on board with that. For us, DP would do things like read to DD when she was full (she used to be able to put DD to sleep this way at night and for naps), walk lots with her in the Ergo (this is a great bonding time), have a bath with her....there are lots of ways to connect with baby besides nursing. Oh, DP did almost all diaper changes during the night and when she was home. Of course, nursing was/is DD's favourite activity but I think that's completely natural, healthy and it's great that your DP is understanding of that. My DP used to always tuck in a million pillows when I was nursing to make me more comfy or bring me water or make sure DD was covered up and cozy. She cared for us as a unit during those times (and still does!) and I think that made her feel like she was contributing more.

Try not to over think it too much...being a new parent is such an intense time and in my experience it's easy to get caught up in 'stuff' that really isn't worthy of getting caught up in wink1.gif


thanks for your ideas! sounds like we are of the same mind frame... we are doing most of that already. it's mostly the feeding that she feels left out of, she does most other things for him besides doing most of the diapers... she is happy to leave me my "fair share" winky.gif. we both know that this won't even last too much longer, soon enough DS won't be so dependant on me. it's just a little hard now.
Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post



We didn't bottle feed DD at all for the first 4 or 5 months as we wanted to make sure breastfeeding was very well established (I was paranoid of her preferring a bottle) and we actually have only given her a bottle a handful of times (I've been off work so no need to pump really). DP was totally on board with that. For us, DP would do things like read to DD when she was full (she used to be able to put DD to sleep this way at night and for naps), walk lots with her in the Ergo (this is a great bonding time), have a bath with her....there are lots of ways to connect with baby besides nursing. Oh, DP did almost all diaper changes during the night and when she was home. Of course, nursing was/is DD's favourite activity but I think that's completely natural, healthy and it's great that your DP is understanding of that. My DP used to always tuck in a million pillows when I was nursing to make me more comfy or bring me water or make sure DD was covered up and cozy. She cared for us as a unit during those times (and still does!) and I think that made her feel like she was contributing more.

Try not to over think it too much...being a new parent is such an intense time and in my experience it's easy to get caught up in 'stuff' that really isn't worthy of getting caught up in wink1.gif


This is brilliant advice. I think it's normal for partners to feel displaced and envious of the newborn/bio mother bond. It's also a massive ideological challenge to many of us who are feminist mothers and want to work toward true equal parenting. It's such an interesting, biologically determined paradigm. But as Carmen said, there are other ways in which you can encourage and nurture their relationship. Your babe is so new Wehrli, it's very normal for him to want you and the boob almost all of the time. Slowly but surely that will change but it is perhaps worth spending some time and energy contemplating with DP that her relationship with your beautiful babe won't really start to become independent of you for quite some time. My DP said that it took 18months for her to feel fully connected and capable with DS and that was despite plenty of one-on-one time and a real consciousness of developing the relationship. The newborn days are truly precious but they're also short and you have a whole lifetime ahead. My DS is now 28 months and still breastfed but has plenty of days where he favours DP over me.

Good luck.

EXACTLY!!!

and we know that time will change everything and DP will be able to bond more... it's just emotionally difficult right now, i guess. redface.gif
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Originally Posted by seraf View Post

Wehrli, I agree with Carmen and MMM that there are other things to do.  My kids' mom felt very useless for a long while.  There are lots she can do besides nurse, but I felt like mentioning that she can give him the boob, it's basically a bink.  It doesn't feel as easy as it is for us, but if the baby just wants to suckle for comfort, an empty boob works fine.   As does a clean pinkie (which is slightly less controversial).


we've talked about DP giving him boob but she's afraid that it's just teasing him because it's not what he really wants; he's hungry and wants to eat.. we both really believe that this early if he gives cues for nursing, then he should nurse... i imagine we will try this some time in the future though. oh, and he will take a pinkie, but not for long. thanks for the support!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl View Post

YAY! Welcome to Q&N, Wehrli!

 

I agree with the others, about having special things that your DP and the baby do together. For us, it was ALL diaper changes and putting to sleep (if it didn't include only going to sleep on the boob), baths, etc. Our situation was a bit different because of my PPD. For about the first 2 weeks, I could only handle DD on me if she was nursing, all other time she was with DW. That slowly changed as I got better and the nursing got better (then got worse and I ended up EPing-but that's another thread!). Still today (5 months later) DW does all the baths and the putting to sleep (she's SO good at it. I suck at it!). I think a lot of bonding can happen without feeding. Like other PP's said, DW would take care of us as a unit. She made all the meals, grocery shopped, did laundry, and made sure we were comfy and taken care of. Yes, she said she felt like the hired help for about a month, but it slowly changed. Now she's the SAHM and sometimes I feel like DD is more bonded with her now! wink1.gif

 

I hope everyone else is doing well! DD is doing great, just hanging out, being a baby. Here is a recent Easter pic I took.

 

Sophia April 2011 068edit2.jpg


thanks for sharing your story... i'm sure it will get easier with time and finding our own grove. smile.gif
ps. sophie is adorable!!


thanks everyone... i was having a rough day yesterday. last night was much better! i think DP and i are also doing better working on our guilt about not each being able to do everything concerning parenting this li'l one. day by day, as they say.

here's some pics from his newborn photos... they are photos taken by DPs iPod from the computer, so not that great of quality but the best we could do... they don't give out proofs at JCP portraits. eyesroll.gif

16 days old

(let me know if the link doesn't work)

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#194 of 204 Old 04-21-2011, 07:29 AM
 
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the link says, "there are no photos here yet."

 

When Osh was little, he nursed a ton.  Not always because he was hungry, tho.  He liked to sleep on the boob.  So every now and then, after hours of nursing, I would pass him off to his Mama to grab a shower or something and he could go back to sleep with a boob in his mouth, not caring at all that there was no milk.  Comfort nursing, IMO doesn't have to involve milk.  I mean, me might nurse on my dry boob for an hour.  You may only be nursing when he shows hunger signs.  But kids love to suck, they wouldn't even make binks if that wasn't the case.  My kids would never take a finger, tho.  Or a bottle, I started trying at 2 weeks with Ari since Osh refused his whole babyhood.  But she did too.  So it may never get more equal in the milky feedings.  My kids would wait 8 hours for me to get home from work.  Poor things.


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#195 of 204 Old 04-21-2011, 07:35 AM
 
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the link says, "there are no photos here yet."

 


drat.

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#196 of 204 Old 07-30-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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Hi, everyone.  I'm hoping to bump this thread up, since I now have a newborn and would love to chat with you all!  I only have a minute and already know most of you from previous threads, but here are some photos of baby Lilah, who was born on Sunday.

 

Hope everyone is well!

 


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#197 of 204 Old 07-30-2011, 11:41 AM
 
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My guy is not so newborn!  At 15 months he is climbing/running/walking and demanding LOL!  We still babywear (toddler wear!) and mostly use our Boba with the Kelty for long hikes when it's too hot for body on body.  

 

It seems like just yesterday he was a little lump--now we are secretly glad when he's feeling a little under the weather and wants to snuggle all day :) !  Sleep is FINALLY better (improved at about 14 months) and we are anticipating trying for #2 sometime in 2012.


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#198 of 204 Old 08-02-2011, 10:39 AM
 
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CONGRATS, AmandaHope! Lilah is just BEAUTIFUL!!!! love.gif

 

 


Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#199 of 204 Old 08-02-2011, 01:52 PM
 
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Congrats on Lilah!! She is beautiful! I don;t have a newborn either...but I am a first time mom and I'm Queer. My son is 3.

 


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#200 of 204 Old 08-04-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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Lilah is beautiful :) Congratulations!


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#201 of 204 Old 08-12-2011, 10:10 AM
 
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Thanks, everybody.  I think she is beautiful, too. love.gif

Did anyone else on here have issues with colic/food intolerance during early nursing? 

I'm trying eliminating dairy (ouch) and am hoping it helps with Lilah's apparent stomach pain---poor little bug. 


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#202 of 204 Old 08-14-2011, 09:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AmandaHope View Post

Thanks, everybody.  I think she is beautiful, too. love.gif

Did anyone else on here have issues with colic/food intolerance during early nursing? 

I'm trying eliminating dairy (ouch) and am hoping it helps with Lilah's apparent stomach pain---poor little bug. 


Dairy is a huge issue for some little ones so that's a good place to start. Are you nursing exclusively? Also, caffeine can be a big one too.

 


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#203 of 204 Old 08-15-2011, 01:01 PM
 
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Hi, Carmen.  Yes, exclusively breastfeeding.  I'm off dairy and wheat now and possibly seeing mild improvement, so I'll have to wait a while longer to see how much difference it makes.  I'm off caffeine entirely.  I'm struggling with food cravings this afternoon, though; I'm not used to such a clean diet! wink1.gif  Also, I have 11 Endometrin pills and applicators all sealed up and am happy to send them to you if you'd like.  Just PM me your address. 


Partner rainbow1284.gif of 17 yrs to DP,  Mommy to 10-yr-old Z blowkiss.gif, and Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11 luxlove.gif.

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#204 of 204 Old 08-19-2011, 07:46 PM
 
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How is the elimination going? Any more results? I found the results pretty drastic when we first tried. PM'ing my address right now :) Thanks!!!


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