Queer and Newborn! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 204 Old 12-10-2008, 09:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
smartycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been meaning to start this thread for a long time now. I really want to keep up and keep in touch with our mamas who have graduated from the Queer and Pregnant thread. And to give those mothers a place to continue the awesome bonds we began in Queer TTC.

I will start a list of babies born in the past year, going off of mothers I have gotten to know since we joined the board one year ago. If you have been lurking and want to join the list, please feel free to either PM or put your information in bold in a post.

And here we go....

:December 2008::
Tigermiep (and dp M), Anders Xavier Born at 10am on 12-11-08 7# 7oz and 21.5" long

To be announced:
MujerMamaMismo, due 12/14/2008
Simcon, due 12/20/2008
shaller (tiggerkong), due mid - December

:November 2008::
JenInMpls (DP Jo), E.W. born 11/24/2008

October 2008:
Becca, Phoebe Joy born 10/9/2008


:August 2008::
AngelaM (Angela), Ocean Rae born 8/10/2008
Venustx, Triplets!! Levi, Sage, and Jillian born 8/12/2008
Scalpel (Jess, DP Darcie), Alexis Jean born 8/29/2008

:July 2008::
kk_davey, Grier born 7/7/2008
mamimapster, Jocheved (Julia) Hadassah Bat Sara V' Miriam born 7/15/2008

May 2008:
msjodi, Delaney Cait born 5/1/2008
mamastotwo, Boy/Girl twins born 5/2/2008
thismama, Zelda born 5/6/2008
pdxmomazon had carys on 5/10/2008!

Enjoy! If this takes off, we can start new threads when the old one gets too long. Can't wait to hear about all the joys and tribulations of mothering an infant.

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
smartycat is offline  
#2 of 204 Old 12-10-2008, 10:11 PM
 
JenInMpls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: wishing I had it all together
Posts: 3,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
whoop whoop thanx smartycat :

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
JenInMpls is offline  
#3 of 204 Old 12-10-2008, 11:34 PM
 
KnittingTigers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yay! i was just thinking we needed this! thanks!

kid on my lap, can't type much now, but am thrilled to have this space.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

KnittingTigers is offline  
#4 of 204 Old 12-10-2008, 11:47 PM
 
MujerMamaMismo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: Oh boy...I cannot wait to be here! Thanks smartycat.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

MujerMamaMismo is offline  
#5 of 204 Old 12-11-2008, 12:36 AM
 
pdxmomazon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Portland, Or
Posts: 971
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I lurk more than anything here, but pdxmomazon had carys on 5/10/2008!

Used to be stay at home parent to our two lovely girls, survived nursing school with family intact, about to graduate and looking for a job! I low-supply nursed my bio daughter for 3 years. 

pdxmomazon is offline  
#6 of 204 Old 12-11-2008, 10:07 AM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 14,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey there! Great idea for a thread, thanks. So my lil girlie is 7 mos and I also have a 5 year old. We're messing around with the solids thing and I'm kinda in exam hell right now, some of which got postponed coz we were in the hospital (they thought she had meningitis and did all these nightmarish tests, she had nothing, it was horrible ) and I'm looking forward to the holiday break!
thismama is offline  
#7 of 204 Old 12-11-2008, 10:19 AM
 
2happymamas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,889
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wanna play! Kinda....I keep alternating between wanting to have this baby so we can meet/hold our daughter and being a little sad that she won't be in me anymore. I have enjoyed this pregnancy and LOVE having her in me and feeling her move.

I get SO excited about her upcoming birth and sometimes a little bittersweet about not having her in my belly anymore.
2happymamas is offline  
#8 of 204 Old 12-11-2008, 04:04 PM
 
KnittingTigers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2happymamas View Post
I wanna play! Kinda....I keep alternating between wanting to have this baby so we can meet/hold our daughter and being a little sad that she won't be in me anymore. I have enjoyed this pregnancy and LOVE having her in me and feeling her move.

I get SO excited about her upcoming birth and sometimes a little bittersweet about not having her in my belly anymore.
Yes, I totally understand! I felt the same way about giving birth to Ocean. I also felt/feel similarly now about her growing up, getting big, etc. We had some serious weight loss problems in the beginning, and she was such a little peanut for so long. Now she's a beast, and while I'm thrilled that she's healthy and gaining weight, part of me feels this sadness about the fact that she's not a newborn anymore. Funny, huh?

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

KnittingTigers is offline  
#9 of 204 Old 12-11-2008, 05:20 PM
 
mamastotwo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Marin County, CA
Posts: 402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello all,

I have been on here infrequently not so much do to the birth of #3&4 but the discovery of Facebook. I am shocked at hoe many of my formerly straight classmates have turned to the dark side LOL we could of had even more fun!

The twins are now 7 months and very gross motor motivated! 3 out of 4 kids have been sick with colds and ear infections the last week so sleep has been minimal but besides that we're all doing well.

More later.

Jeninmpls - good to see you here too!!!
mamastotwo is offline  
#10 of 204 Old 12-12-2008, 07:37 PM
 
Scalpel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: midwest
Posts: 438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great thread smarty!! We are just enjoying our 3 1/2 month old daughter Lexie. She is the highlight of our life. Always examining things and drooling!! We are going through the inital steps at our RE's office to give lexie a brother or sister.


http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/k.../Alexis176.jpg


http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/k.../Alexis189.jpg


http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/k.../Alexis170.jpg

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
Scalpel is offline  
#11 of 204 Old 12-14-2008, 06:21 PM
 
tigermiep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: upper midwest
Posts: 277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hi! we're delighted to be here!!!!

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
tigermiep is offline  
#12 of 204 Old 12-14-2008, 06:33 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,607
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Oh, you're talking about queer mamas (and papas?) of newborns.

I thought you were starting a thread about newborns who were queer, and I was thinking "um, don't you need to wait at least a couple of years before figuring that out?"

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
Ruthla is offline  
#13 of 204 Old 12-14-2008, 08:46 PM
 
JenInMpls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: wishing I had it all together
Posts: 3,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hm, I suppose 'queer with newborns' would be more accurate?

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
JenInMpls is offline  
#14 of 204 Old 12-14-2008, 10:45 PM
 
FtMPapa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Homesick Canuck in Western MA.
Posts: 2,055
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is some funny, y'all.

Anyone got pets? How are the pets dealing?

It's so funny - the number one question I've gotten from people who know I'm TTC is "How are you going to look after all those animals AND a baby?"

I have to admit, being the sole breadwinner, walker, feeder, waterer, vet-taker-toer, litter box scooper, diaperer, driver, etc, for what will be a family of FIVE (two cats, one giant dog, one me, and at least one baby) is a little daunting.

I've started saying "Oh, I'm planning to give the cats to a friend and send the dog to the pound...." I keep a totally straight face while I say it, and so far, two people actually thought I was serious.

Bear in mind, my dog and I are very bonded, we spend a lot of time together, I can't imagine life without her. And everyone knows it. She comes to the office with me most days, we regularly receive mail addressed to both of us, and when I arrived at my department's holiday party the other night, the first question I got was "Where's Monty?"

I sort of assume that looking after a baby will fall into the same category as the cats and the dog - I know intellectually that I spend a lot of time and money on them, but I never really count the cost or notice it, because I love them so much and they make my life worth living.

Am I completely delusional?

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
FtMPapa is offline  
#15 of 204 Old 12-14-2008, 11:14 PM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 14,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I personally lost all interest in my pets once my first child was born. Obviously everyone has different experiences, but for me the bond was so intense and the level of care required so all consuming that I just didn't have one ounce of nurturing energy left for my animals. Depends on your relationship with your pets though, obviously, and the doggie love of my life had already died when my babe came along. I have an old dog now but I won't get another for years and years. I just have no energy or desire for my pets anymore. WHich has caused some drama with my childless lesbian friends who judge me pretty harshly for not prioritizing my pets the way they do. I mean, I don't neglect the dog or anything but I just don't care to talk lots about her or make her the centre of my life anymore. Kinda feel some guilt about that but it is what it is, yk?

eta - Oooh FTMPapa I see you have a Great Dane. Even I could probably get it up for a Great Dane.
thismama is offline  
#16 of 204 Old 12-14-2008, 11:23 PM
 
FtMPapa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Homesick Canuck in Western MA.
Posts: 2,055
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
eta - Oooh FTMPapa I see you have a Great Dane. Even I could probably get it up for a Great Dane.
She's my girl. We do everything together, my ex and I got her together, and we were all together for four years, then we were apart for 1.5 years, but it's been just us and the cats for the last 2+ years. Having a dog as a single person is a verry different bond from what it was with the ex - although he was the primary dog servant. He took her to work, he drove her around, he made the key decisions about her diet and medical care, but I was the weekend papa, I mostly walked her and I was The Fun Guy. Now, I'm the Everything Guy, though she still gets excited to smell mail from him.

It's sad to me to think that our bond might change when a baby comes into our family. It is a lot harder to navigate the world with a dog and a baby, on daily outings and errands and such. I've done it with kids I've looked after, and it's just more complicated, logistically.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
FtMPapa is offline  
#17 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 12:52 AM
 
MujerMamaMismo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We've got a dog and 2 cats - all whom I love but I'm not a super-crazy pet person.

Anyway, they are totally onto us with this baby thing. The dog has become super protective of me since I've been on maternity leave - she barks every time someone walks past the house - it's very sweet but it's driving me nuts.

The cats have become feral in the last month. Our little angel cat (a ragdoll) has started spraying in the house, including on and in the pram. Our other cat who has always been a bit aggressive has turned into a nightmare. I've just ordered some pheromone plug-ins but if they don't work we really will have to re-home her. She's actually dangerous and has been attacking humans as well as her sisters. We can't risk that with a little babe in the house.

I'm pretty nervous about what's going to happen when everyone meets!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

MujerMamaMismo is offline  
#18 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 01:35 AM
 
jp79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 198
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wanna play too!

We're expecting our second baby (a girl!) late-January. Very EXCITED and also a little nervous...

We have a 10 month old beagle-pug hybrid. We've been working furiously at training her before the baby arrives. We're all doing really good. Clicker training is our friend. That Pavlov was certainly on to something!

We also had plans to have our little guy on his way to being diaper-free by the time new baby arrived. Clearly, however, that just is not happening.

Jen
Loving partner to Gia rainbow1284.gif and mama to heartbeat.gif (9/06) and A heartbeat.gif (1/09)

jp79 is offline  
#19 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 02:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
smartycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Welcome Miep to this side!! ::

MMM, your turn soon! : !!

And Jennaba, can't wait to add you and your LO.

I'm excited to see our first real topic here and one that is so close to my heart. I worry a lot about how the animals will handle the transition. My Pomeranian is nervous around children, but then again, when she is around the kids in Quasar's family, there is generally some huge 20-30 person function going on. Our German Shepherd seems very jealous already. If you tell him about the baby, he just hangs his head and slinks off to the other room.

Hopefully the introduction of the baby will go well. Our menagarie is so used to us bringing in new members on a fairly regular basis, that maybe they won't look at the child as anything more than one more annoying pet. :

We do get really annoyed when people ask us if we are getting rid of any of the pets. And while I understand that some pets are not safe to be around children, rehoming pets because they are no longer "convenient" is a sore spot for me. We have worked pretty extensively with a local dog rescue group and rehoming because people just don't want to deal with a baby and a pet is a real issue. Maybe I just don't get it yet because our baby is not here yet, but it breaks my heart to see people turn their backs on their pets.

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
smartycat is offline  
#20 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 02:47 AM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 14,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Uh oh this is starting to sound like my housemate and that crew.

eta - I will say, not to sound like a know it all coz I have kiddos, but really for a lot of people things do change. Not for everyone for sure, and I don't want to tell anyone how they will be, but I also kinda get sick of the judgment from people who do not have children yet. Kids and pets are hard to juggle, first the newborn stage where you can barely take a pee, and then later when they harass the pet and you pull out your own hair trying to figure out how to get them to stop or keep them separate. It's not really easy, at least not for everyone.
thismama is offline  
#21 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 03:42 AM
 
KnittingTigers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Weighing in on the pet question-

I'm not sure that my experience is representative, because my dog is such a low-maintenance old man, but I've found the whole thing really manageable. He definitely got less attention for the first six or eight weeks. But then, so did pretty much everyone else in my life. At some point, however, I came to realize that rather than dreading the additional chore of walking him around the block, I began to look forward to it. Our thrice-daily walks became a time to unwind, just a little bit, and take a break from all the people helping me to take care of the baby. (Don't get me wrong- it's amazing that I've had all these people, including my mother, helping. Sometimes, though, you just need a break. Or, I did at least.) Sometimes I leave the baby with whoever is in the house (mom, DP, friend). Sometimes I put her in her carrier and take her with me. Sometimes we stop along the way and have spontaneous conversations with people. Sometimes I use the time to call old friends on my cell phone. Sometimes I don't talk to anyone at all, I just breathe and walk and have a little me time. Now that it's getting colder, our walks have gotten shorter, and it is definitely more of a hassle to get the kid bundled up to take a brief walk. However, I've discovered that if I put her in her carrier in her regular clothes (not bothering with the huge fleecy bear suit, etc.) and then zip her into my own oversized sweatshirt, that makes the whole thing much easier.

Recently, she's started actually interacting a bit with the dog, and it's really cool. She reaches out to touch him, and stares and drools at him. He often hangs out under her bouncy chair, and seems to want to be around her. It's neat- I'm looking forward to teaching her about taking care of another living being.

But like I said, we're talking one geriatric chihuahua who would rather sleep than take a walk. No judgement on anyone else's situation.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

KnittingTigers is offline  
#22 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 04:20 AM
 
MujerMamaMismo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartycat View Post
We do get really annoyed when people ask us if we are getting rid of any of the pets. And while I understand that some pets are not safe to be around children, rehoming pets because they are no longer "convenient" is a sore spot for me. We have worked pretty extensively with a local dog rescue group and rehoming because people just don't want to deal with a baby and a pet is a real issue. Maybe I just don't get it yet because our baby is not here yet, but it breaks my heart to see people turn their backs on their pets.
Well in our case, our friend who works at the shelter that we got the problem cat from has been encouraging us to return her to the shelter to be re-homed for years. She's never been a good fit with the other pets here and she'd probably be a lot happier as an only child. But even with that assurance it still feels like a horrible thing to do - particularly knowing that it'll be hard to re-home her because of her age and feisty-ness...and we all know what happens to animals who sit at shelters for too long

But all that said, the pheromones (feliway) arrived this afternoon and it's already a whole lot more peaceful here - so maybe we're onto something.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

MujerMamaMismo is offline  
#23 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 09:58 AM
 
indigoscot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we have one dog, a mutt that we "rescued" from dp's family in the country, where they don't believe in getting the pack of outdoors dogs fixed (there is always a new batch of puppies when we visit). i will admit that she does not get nearly as much attention as she did pre-baby. walks are a hit or miss, mostly miss as we both work full-time.

we can't have her and our son in the family room at the same time because he pesters her constantly and while she is very submissive (i'm the alpha) and tolerates him, she always looks so pitiful. as soon as he's napping or asleep for the night, she comes in and hangs out with us. our son LOVES the dog. his first word was dog and he can say her name. we think once he's older and isn't pulling her ears and poking her nose and trying to catch her wagging tail it will be more fun for both of them.

we never considered getting rid of her. but i know everyone has their own lives to live and i certainly can understand why that would be the case for others. it is a lot of work with a newborn (until you've been there you don't know how much) and if you have needy or misbehaving pets it would definitely be tough to manage it all.

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
indigoscot is offline  
#24 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 11:20 AM
 
JenInMpls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: wishing I had it all together
Posts: 3,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We only have two cats.

One took to sleeping in the co-sleeper for week before and the week after baby's arrival. Then, once she noticed we were ignoring her sleeping in it, she stopped. She now tends to sleep in the rocker if we don't put a big pillow in it. This means she sometimes gets sat on in the middle of the night, for which we are rewarded with an offended "MEOW!" but if she'd just move, she wouldn't have to be offended...

The other sort of approaches warily, sniffs and backs away once E moves. The look on her face is kind of "oh jeez, why are you doing this to us AGAIN?!"

Mostly they seek out the adults for attention, and take every opportunity to get on our laps when there is not a baby in them. (Like right this very second.) the first also seeks attention from our 4yo who has finally gotten mostly gentle and appropriate with his cat petting.

All in all I believe they are doing very well with the new one... but we are going out of our way to love them up when we can.

A certain 3-week-old is getting a little fed up with the bouncy chair and staring at the Christmas tree, so I have to dump the cat off of my lap now...

eta: Angela I'm with you on the carrier under the coat thing. My maternity coat has transitioned into a baby-wearing coat. Slip child into Moby, zip coat over whole thing.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
JenInMpls is offline  
#25 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 12:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
smartycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This Mama and MMM: I certainly meant no offense to your particular situations. I guess I was mostly talking out some of my thoughts and concerns. It is a big concern for us. We have 5 dogs and 5 cats who are very much a big part of our family. And I realize that there may very well be a couple of them that don't adjust to the baby and I will feel horrible if we have to re-home them... it just goes against everything I have previously stood for.

My whole life has been dedicated to helping animals, though I don't quite think of myself as an animal "zealot" or one who thinks of them as "children". And I get that having a new human in your life will change the dynamic. When Quasar moved in with me, I had 2 dogs and 4 cats. When I lived by myself for the 10 years before I met Quasar, my animals were a huge part of my life and my emotional well being. They were who I came home to... my family. Once I had Quasar, that dynamic changed. It wasn't an overnight thing, or where I shunned them... I definitely loved them very much still, but I did notice that there was a shift. And I assume there will be a shift again once the baby comes... actually I think the pets might shift more towards me and away from Quasar (or maybe that is just my insecurity that the baby won't bond with me as much as Quasar... that's a whole other topic...).

And I appreciate everyone's views on this... not just the ones that agree with me. We want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly... because with 10 pets, we are probably going to experience a little of each and then some.

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
smartycat is offline  
#26 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
smartycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh and MMM... if the Feliway doesn't completely do the trick, consider using Prozac. I know prozac has a bad connotation, but it really does help reduce anxiety in cats. PM me if you want any additional info.

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
smartycat is offline  
#27 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 02:36 PM
 
Beccalina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hoffman Estates, IL
Posts: 64
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you for this thread smartycat!

I thought I'd jump in on the pet convo...

I have 2 dogs and 2 cats and before Phoebe was born we were very much conscious of giving them extra attention and letting them smell the new baby stuff and DP even came home from the hospital before Phoebe and I did, just so they could smell Phoebe before she was actually in the house. I thought things would be just fine and dandy, but being on maternity leave all alone with Phoebe and the dogs, that need to be walked because we do not have a back yard made it impossible and was very, very frustrated with the animals. I tried really hard to keep reminding myself that they don't understand that it's difficult and I can't get angry with them and after about 3 weeks, I warmed up and got into a good routine. After all, I have a baby monitor. I just ended up shortening their walks to just letting them do their business and when DP got home every evening, she took them for their long walk.

Phoebe is 2 months old now and everyone is adjusting well.

I've posted it before, but here is her website

www.totsites.com/tot/phoebejoy

My question to all the queer parents (and parents-to-be if you're reading this ) is why did you choose your baby's name? What special meaning does it have to you, and are you happy with your choice?

I had a hard time choosing a name for Phoebe. I had it narrowed down to 3 names DP and I loved which were:

Gwendolyn, Charlotte, and Phoebe.

Well we kept seeing the name Phoebe everywhere and hearing things about the name so we took that as a sign. I am very happy with our decision. The names never meant anything more that us just loving the names because they're not too common.

Her middle name is Joy...that is my middle name and my mother's so I thought I'd keep it going, plus it sounds great together.

Again, I'm so happy we have this thread....yay for support beyond pregnancy!
Beccalina is offline  
#28 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 02:52 PM
 
Scalpel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: midwest
Posts: 438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have 2 dogs and 1 cat....the dogs just adore the baby and the cat could actually careless. It was more of my mom who put visions of stephen kings CatEye movie in my mind with cats and people breath being stolen...anywho.. the issue hasnt even been one. I must admit we were alot more protective in the first inital weeks and were always telling the dogs to be "careful" and "watch out buddy" alot more. We do co sleep with our dogs(not baby) so they still get some of the bonding time with us. I think its just the evoultion of the family. I think I posted this before but here is our min pin with lexie:

http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/k.../Alexis055.jpg

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
Scalpel is offline  
#29 of 204 Old 12-15-2008, 03:20 PM
 
starling&diesel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: West Coast, Canada
Posts: 3,845
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
We've got two dogs, one cat-who-thinks-he's-a-dog (loves truck rides, comes camping with us, hangs out with 'his' dogs) and a baby one the way, due in February.

Our big old dog is not going to be a problem. Sailor is like AngelaM's dog, only 80 lbs heavier. She might have a problem with a toddler, but I doubt it. And I kinda doubt she'll still be around come then. Right now though, she's so tolerant of the puppy, it's pathetic. Jasper chews on her ears and gnaws on her game leg (cancer) and yanks at her other game leg (mauling) and Sailer just sighs, gives a half hearted verbal scolding, gets up and moves to another bed.

Jasper is seven months old, and we've been training him from the start in preparation for the baby. Tugging on his tail, poking him, taking away his bones and toys unannounced, that sort of thing. He's doing great so far. We've also been super strict about leash training him, which we haven't always done being that we live rurally, and he's doing well with that too. We have a large yard, which I am eternally thankful for.

The cat is thrilled with his new room (the nursery). He loves the rocker, especially, and the new, plushy rug. We were given a crib, and I'm betting that Zephyr (the dog-cat) is the only creature who will ever sleep in it, being that we plan to co-sleep.

Our animals are family. They ain't goin' nowhere. It'll all work out.

ps. I'll let you know in a few months how things are going ...

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
starling&diesel is online now  
#30 of 204 Old 12-21-2008, 11:10 AM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 14,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So anyone wanna talk about babywearing? I wore my 5 year old a lot, but this time as I'm doing the solo mama thing I've gotten a lot more proficient at it. I use a ringsling sometimes but mostly I wrap. If my babe is fussy and nothing else works, putting her up on my back in a wrap is a guaranteed cry stopper. I figured out how to nurse in the wrap also pretty early on which has been a lifesaver. I don't think I've hauled out my stroller once in like the last four months.
thismama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off