We're not there yet, exactly. But it is something we are already planning for/thinking about, b/c neither side will be particularly pleased about it, so if you don't mind my input...
We're doing the I'll choose how/when to tell my family, and Kim can choose how/when to tell her family type of thing. Per my preference, we will be waiting until I am (at least) 15 weeks (Kim can wait longer, if she wants) to tell either side though. We live out of state from both families, so a bit of a wait will be fairly easy for us.
Kim has not decided how she will tell.
I (think) I am going to use an idea I picked up elsewhere. I will write them a short and sweet
letter, that will basically say:
|Dear Loving Family Member :,
Hope this letter finds you well. We really enjoyed our last visit. Blah, blah, blah your weather, blah, blah, blah our weather.
Anyway, I am writing today because Kim and I are very excited to announce that we are expecting a much anticipated and : planned for around DATE. We are thankful that the pregnancy is going well (hopefully we can add this part!). We look forward to seeing you when we come to visit on DATE. Meanwhile, we look forward to hearing from you when you can call to give us your congratulations! ()
By the way, , how 'bout that football team??
Much love ,
I like this approach cause it means I don't have to interact in real time with them.
It gives them time to come to grips with things before they have to deal with me.
And, I think, it makes it clear that there is only one reaction we are interested in getting from them. If they can't respond in a positive manner, that is ok!
But in that case, they can keep their negative thoughts/feeling to themselves.
Like I said, I (obviously) haven't tried it yet. But hearing about it really made me think it would be a good fit for *my* family. It probably depends on the family. YMMV. Good luck!!