When did you tell your family you were expecting? Who did you tell first? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 02-08-2009, 12:29 PM - Thread Starter
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No, were not there yet, but DW and I were talking about it the other night. We, extremely thankfully, have very supportive families, and our immediate and some of our not-so-immediate families know we're TTC. In fact our respective mothers are so excited by their future grandbaby that they are already buying/knitting things for it.

I know I'm going to want to tell my mom right away, at which point she'll start knitting blankets and hats and booties, which we have no problem with. However, DW is hesitant to tell her mom, because knowing MIL, she'll go out and buy hundreds of dollars of "cheap plastic crap" we don't want and we'll feel obligated to take it. (She is extremely generous in giving people what she thinks they should have. ) And the longer she has until the baby is here, the more CPC we're liable to wind up with. But I would feel terrible telling my mom and not MIL.

And then there's who do you tell first? My mom (who's 3 time zones behind), MIL, the KD? Is there etiquette for this sort of thing?

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Queer poly woman, married 10+ years to DW, fur-mama to
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Astrid, TTC with a cross-country KD
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#2 of 3 Old 02-08-2009, 12:52 PM
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my mother is terrible with the cheap plastic crap!

here's what i wrote on my registry. it definitely helped cut down on the cpc. also, i had a few strategically timed conversations about product safety recalls on things made in china. that helped too.


Dear Friends,

Please join me to celebrate my pregnancy!

Gifts are not necessary; your presence and love in this child's life are all that I ask.

If you'd like to make a gift, I've compiled this list of things that would be helpful. Please note that I'm happy to have recycled and gently used items, and indeed, prefer these over new when possible. If you have old baby items lying around, or see a great changing table on craigslist, please consider making that your gift. I'm committed to making the process of parenting as green as possible, and that includes not contributing unnecessarily to the piles of "new" baby stuff produced and discarded each year.

I hope too that you'll join me in avoiding plastics and other cheaply manufactured toys and accessories. With product recalls happening regularly, I'd rather that my kid have a few quality, all natural toys than a pile of inexpensive and dangerous ones!

Most importantly, I look forward to us creating together a new community of love and support for this child.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#3 of 3 Old 02-08-2009, 05:58 PM
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We're not there yet either. But we're already planning for the when too.

I will find out first -- Kim doesn't want us to find out together, she wants me to surprise her. I'll probably tell you guys as soon as I find out... I have to tell someone to keep from exploding!

I will tell her within the week -- I gotta have some time to plan this surprise!

We will tell the KD next, at about the two week mark.

We will tell my step-daughter after that, at about the 4 week mark.

Then we will tell almost everyone else, friends/online relationships and family, all at once, at the 15 week mark. I plan to mail out letters to anyone we are telling that way at 14 weeks, that will give about a week for the mail to arrive, then at 15 weeks we will email/facebook/blog all in one day.

The final group is my work. I would be thrilled if I could hold off till about the 20 week mark.
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