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#1 of 17 Old 03-09-2009, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just catching up on my celebrity baby news (on celebrity baby blog) and this was what popped up first thing:

http://celebrity-babies.com/2009/03/...nt-with-a-boy/

Wow! I had no idea! It's so cool!
It's nice to feel like we're just like everybody else, you know?

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#2 of 17 Old 03-09-2009, 09:12 PM
 
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Well colour me stupid ... i didn't know that she's family!
We did wonder ...

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#3 of 17 Old 03-09-2009, 09:13 PM
 
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Has anyone heard about this? These ladies already have two boys, and they are now pregnant again- both of them, at the same time.

I think this is fascinating. I can see how it would be good- you could leave the babies with your wife and go out and not have to pump- and bad- would it be hard to be labor support for your wife while pregnant yourself?

Also, I get a little nutty while pregnant, so part of me would want my spouse to not also be a hormonal roller coaster. Then the other part of me thinks, ah, the empathy.

Has anyone here done this? What was it like?

Trying to turn hearts and minds toward universal healthcare, one post at a time.
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#4 of 17 Old 03-09-2009, 10:27 PM
 
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I had to look up the story, but wow! How exciting.

My ex and I actually talked about this - that we'd implant my fertilized egg in her and her fertilized egg in me if we were going to have children together. It didn't get that far, but it was absolutely our plan (although we wouldn't have wanted to do it at the same time, that's for sure).

*~* A * Mama to C and A * *~* I blog - PM me for the URL
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#5 of 17 Old 03-09-2009, 10:45 PM
 
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i just told dp and she said, wow, cat cora is family??! we watch iron chef america all the time! lol!

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#6 of 17 Old 03-09-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Leta View Post
would it be hard to be labor support for your wife while pregnant yourself?
Well, I served as a doula up until about 34 weeks, and it wasn't a problem! I'd think it would be harder with a young baby, especially if they're planning an out-of-home birth.

DS born 6/03, DD1 born 9/06, DD2 born 10/10, DD3 born 4/14.
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#7 of 17 Old 03-10-2009, 01:24 AM
 
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i didn't know she was a lesbian either! but she is like the only female iron chef, so go figure...

giggle - mommy to GP born 3.16.09 and parter to liberty (GP's mama). hoping to have 2 under 2 in the very near future via DP's ute!
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#8 of 17 Old 03-10-2009, 01:22 PM
 
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many people have suggested this to me and my partner....that we both try to get pregnant together. More power to the households that can do it, but I think it would be awful! Here's what I always think - let's say you both get pregnant around the same time and your due dates are close. So you end up with two extremely pregnant women in the house at the same time....and I've never been pregnant so I don't have a clue how I will be at that time, but I'm sure there will be hormone drama at times! Let's say partner A goes into labor on Sunday night.....if I were partner B (mega preggers), I'm not sure how much support I could offer during A's labor and delivery. So then everyone goes home after a few days.....and then B goes into labor on Wednesday. So you've got a 3-day old baby, a mom recovering from delivery, and another mom giving birth.

I know that's probably the worst case scenario......but that's how I always see it. And I know that madness would be short-term! I just can't get past the picture of total chaos!

The other issue I imagine is the resentment of just one partner getting pregnant even though they both tried.

OK, not trying to be Debbie Downer! I'll stop now!
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#9 of 17 Old 03-10-2009, 02:39 PM
 
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chicagoml - my partner and i tried to get pregnant together. without ivf or similar means, it would be difficult to get your due dates as close together as what you described. hypothetically if it had worked, our due dates would have been a month apart.

we know a couple who tried together around the same time as we did - they are currently both pregnant - one with a boy and one with a girl - and their due dates are a month apart. they both used the same donor.

it didn't work for us - after 7 or so tries with my partner, she found out that both of her tubes were blocked. we opted not to have the tube opening surgery for her, due to the risks associated with tubal pregnancy afterwards. i on the other hand was successful on the second try and am days from my due date. we are moving to a state which mandates ivf coverage this summer and she will be persuing ivf once we get the insurance to cover it.

a lot of people had similar thoughts to what you presented (what if you are both on bedrest and can't help each other? what if you both have c-sections and can't move? what if...), however, we didn't consider any of that a big risk. we both had great short term disability insurance, so if we needed to both be home on bedrest, we still would have had income. in addition, we hired a doula for birthing assistance. we could have hired another if we were both pregnant and unable to help the other. point is, as with any other situation, i'm sure we would have made it work.

there were a lot of advantages - we could have staggered our maternity leave so that one mom could stay home with both babies and then the other could stay home with both babies, giving us a cummulative 12+ weeks to be home with the babies. also, we both figured it would help with us both feeling as if we were involved with the mothering process since there would be two babies instead of one. the non-bio mom element would have essentially been removed.

i wouldn't say my partner had resentment for me being pregnant, but it was definately difficult for her to deal with the infertile diagnosis at the forced end of our journey. looking back, perhaps one of us should have stopped after one of us found we were pregnant, or at least put a stipulation on the number of tries the other one of us would have had after finding out the other was expecting. we spent the first half of my pregnancy not really focused on the fact that we were having a baby, because we were still both very focused on my partner getting pregnant too. it was frustrating for me, because i wanted her to be pregnant more than i wanted myself to be pregnant.

i don't think trying together is a bad idea, especially if you don't care who carries the child - given all the potential problems that arise with lesbian conception, i think both partners trying together would definately get you to baby faster. if i had to do it again though, i think we would have set stipulations, as i mentioned above but we still would have tried together because ultimately, we wanted a baby - rather it be one that one of us birthed or one that we adopted.

point is, there are pros and cons to every situation. anyway, just my 2 cents.

giggle - mommy to GP born 3.16.09 and parter to liberty (GP's mama). hoping to have 2 under 2 in the very near future via DP's ute!
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#10 of 17 Old 03-10-2009, 11:12 PM
 
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I always used to fantasize about this scenario back when I was a babydyke. I totally would have been up for trying it if the woman I married had been up for it too (as it was, she was barely on board with one of us ttc at the time when we first were).

We definitely would have done the "my eggs in your uterus" thing if it weren't for the fact that it's so darn expensive (unless you have fertility issues already dictating IVF with donor eggs). And the increased risk of twins. We know two couples that did it (both have twins), and while one couple was able to have it paid for by insurance (the gestating mom had premature ovarian failure), the other couple said it cost $25,000.

When dw was early in the current pregnancy and I got my period . . . things were not very friendly in our sweet little home for a few days. I can only imagine how we would have managed our raging emotions had we both been subject to pregnancy hormones at the same time (that said, some people are not particularly bothered by the hormones of pregnancy, dw and simply belong to the other category of pregnant people).

I also don't know how we would have figured out who got to sleep-in in the mornings (clearly this is only an issue for families with older children already . . . or demanding pets, I suppose). When I was pregnant, I almost always got to sleep in. And I've returned the favor for dw's pregnancy (despite nursing a toddler all night, I still know that she's probably more tired than I am). And I can only imagine the battles we would have had over who got to take a nap in the afternoons . . . so I guess it probably is for the best that I didn't marry someone who wanted to do the "let's both get pregnant at the same time and have lesbian twins" thing. But I still fantasize about what could have been from time to time.

Congrats to Cat and Jennifer Cora (I must admit I have NO IDEA who these people are)!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#11 of 17 Old 03-11-2009, 10:54 AM
 
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Congrats to Cat and Jennifer Cora (I must admit I have NO IDEA who these people are)!

Lex
Oh good, I'm not the only one. We don't have a television, so I am clueless, lol

Partnered mama with DD (01/04) and DD (08/09) and 8 critters, including a !
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#12 of 17 Old 03-12-2009, 07:08 PM
 
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I was watching a show on TLC the other night where a lesbian couple used one of the partners eggs in both women and each became pregnant with twins boy/girl.They both had c-sections days apart from each other.

http://health.discovery.com/tv/quads-2-moms/about.html

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
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#13 of 17 Old 03-17-2009, 10:50 PM
 
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Awww,that is sweet!
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#14 of 17 Old 03-19-2009, 12:15 PM
 
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I'm way past pregnancy age, decidedly single, already have 3 kids, am adopting 3 more this summer (keeping fingers crossed), had my 2 grandchildren (6 months and 2 years) for 4 months, found it way too exhausting, and there is nothing in this world I need less than a baby or two. But dang, that sounds like a good idea!


I love my kids to pieces, but the love that went into the creation of these kids tops all. I am so happy for everyone in that family (although I also have no idea who Cat and Jennifer are!). I've know couples who conceived together, but the technology to trade eggs leaves me speechless. I'll be happily thinking about this all day.

Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

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#15 of 17 Old 03-19-2009, 05:53 PM
 
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I think that is so awesome! I really wanted my wife and I to be pregnant at the same time, but she thought the idea was slightly crazy (), and is concerned she is too old to be a birth mama anyway.

How fun!
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#16 of 17 Old 03-19-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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I've know couples who conceived together, but the technology to trade eggs leaves me speechless.
The technology isn't actually that complicated. The eggs are harvested just as they would be for a typical IVF cycle, but then after the eggs have been fertilized, they are put back into a different woman's uterus (as is done with egg donation).

Technology I'd love to see: two eggs (or one egg and one cell) from two different women, combined to make a baby. I think it is already possible (what with cloning being possible), but I don't know if it will ever happen.

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#17 of 17 Old 03-19-2009, 06:02 PM
 
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Technology I'd love to see: two eggs (or one egg and one cell) from two different women, combined to make a baby. I think it is already possible (what with cloning being possible), but I don't know if it will ever happen.

Lex
THAT we would do in a heartbeat. We talk about how much we would love to do that all the time. I think it is a brilliant idea.
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