chicagoml - my partner and i tried to get pregnant together. without ivf or similar means, it would be difficult to get your due dates as close together as what you described. hypothetically if it had worked, our due dates would have been a month apart.
we know a couple who tried together around the same time as we did - they are currently both pregnant - one with a boy and one with a girl - and their due dates are a month apart. they both used the same donor.
it didn't work for us - after 7 or so tries with my partner, she found out that both of her tubes were blocked. we opted not to have the tube opening surgery for her, due to the risks associated with tubal pregnancy afterwards. i on the other hand was successful on the second try and am days from my due date. we are moving to a state which mandates ivf coverage this summer and she will be persuing ivf once we get the insurance to cover it.
a lot of people had similar thoughts to what you presented (what if you are both on bedrest and can't help each other? what if you both have c-sections and can't move? what if...), however, we didn't consider any of that a big risk. we both had great short term disability insurance, so if we needed to both be home on bedrest, we still would have had income. in addition, we hired a doula for birthing assistance. we could have hired another if we were both pregnant and unable to help the other. point is, as with any other situation, i'm sure we would have made it work.
there were a lot of advantages - we could have staggered our maternity leave so that one mom could stay home with both babies and then the other could stay home with both babies, giving us a cummulative 12+ weeks to be home with the babies. also, we both figured it would help with us both feeling as if we were involved with the mothering process since there would be two babies instead of one. the non-bio mom element would have essentially been removed.
i wouldn't say my partner had resentment for me being pregnant, but it was definately difficult for her to deal with the infertile diagnosis at the forced end of our journey. looking back, perhaps one of us should have stopped after one of us found we were pregnant, or at least put a stipulation on the number of tries the other one of us would have had after finding out the other was expecting. we spent the first half of my pregnancy not really focused on the fact that we were having a baby, because we were still both very focused on my partner getting pregnant too. it was frustrating for me, because i wanted her to be pregnant more than i wanted myself to be pregnant.
i don't think trying together is a bad idea, especially if you don't care who carries the child - given all the potential problems that arise with lesbian conception, i think both partners trying together would definately get you to baby faster. if i had to do it again though, i think we would have set stipulations, as i mentioned above but we still would have tried together because ultimately, we wanted a baby - rather it be one that one of us birthed or one that we adopted.
point is, there are pros and cons to every situation. anyway, just my 2 cents.
giggle - mommy to GP born 3.16.09 and parter to liberty (GP's mama). hoping to have 2 under 2 in the very near future via DP's ute!