Queer Conceptions - April 2009 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-01-2009, 02:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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*_Queer Conceptions March 2009 _*

*Waiting to O*
Lyndzies
Binyasa
The Girls
mommies_2_be - Catherine & Laura
wishin'&hopin'
Astropeep & Fozziebear
rimpnskimmpy
hopefulmommy04
cejae
katharinerose
FtMPapa

:*Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW*:
indigoscot's dp
chicagoml
Osker
pleasantlyfurious

*Taking a Break*
mhiccup
Sprout's futuremom
Sugersen
want2bmoms
wannabemoms
Amigone
maorimama
snoopy13
Sugerson
SGrey
teafor2
baby_baby_mommy
Zyla
Coco99
giggleblue's DP
ellephant
mizsatisfied & DP Tami
hoping2bmoms - Jen & Tam
pookafaye & DW silpa

*Taking a break from the board*
twylightdove (taking a break from the board but continuing ttc)
knit_grrly
Astraphell
serepatera
DearAbby
Hulahoop

*Waiting to be Ready*
megincl & ktcl
erthe_mama
willowbean
Tireegal
FJKelley
Miss Scarlett
iheartsheep
kclyka
knittinanny
Crunchy Smurf - TTC in April
milletpuff
lemurmommies & ruvalokiteshvara

*2009 GRADUATES*

*April BFPs*
Kelmendi
KJM
whoabethy
carmen

*March BFPs*
scalpel
katwomyn4

*February BFP*
deny_zoo29

*January BFP*
jodybird511

*2008 Graduates!*
*December BFPs*
DM630
raene
wazzmum

*October BFPs*
JennM1021
lexbeach's DP
QTRANDI

*September BFP*
Ellie74

*August BFPs*
heart-n-bones
Love My Family

*July BFPs*
giggleblue
pranava
MamaCaveBear
quasar (and DP smartycat)


*June BFPs *
starling&diesel
PiGirl
Erica12009


*April BFPs*
tigermiep
MujerMamaMismo
tiggerkong22
simcon
2happymamas

*March BFPs*
JenInMpls
mahrens77

*January BFP*
cookie70

*2007 Graduates!*
*December BFP*
Scalpel

*November BFPs*
mamimapster
AngelaM
solejean
lmh222
***************

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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Old 04-01-2009, 03:22 AM
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just dragging the SEX talk over from March-----

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommies_2_be View Post
Here's another crazy question that I don't hear many straight folks talking about. How do you all feel about sex during the 2ww or time of possible implantation? I have read something about strong orgasms causing uterine contractions that might re-direct the fertilized egg as it's coming down the tube or impede implantation. Any thoughts on this? And what about during the first trimester? Are vibrators contraindicated? Should you stop after one orgasm etc???

I've caught myself pushing my partner away for fear it will interfere with something. Has anyone else wondered about this?

I never worried too much during the 2 ww, but I was usually so fricken stressed DP wasn't really feeling that hot for me ya know?

Also as for The Big when inseminating--as we have all had to say to our nosey moms/friends/ coworkers when they suggest it will ensure fertilization "Well if straight women can only get pregnant if they have an orgasm we'd have a HECK of a lot fewer people in this world!!"-- but all snotty remarks aside. When I got pregnant this fall I had the hottest pre insem sex to date! We figured it was a wash--we had dinner plans in 40 mins, the donor had produced the sample WAY earlier then scheduled and it was cold and sitting o the counter when I arrived for pick up, so we didn't care, we each got off and I inseminated and elevated my hips for 10 mins and we went to dinner ---poof it happened

Ok, now flash forward to my pregnancy--I wanted sex A LOT!!! But when we had sex, or I played alone I would always have a few drops of blood after any penetration. My MW said it was normal, the cervix was soft and crank and not to worry about it. I remember thinking "Well kiddo, you will certainly run my life for the rest of my life, but if you are gonna start making me STOP having sex at 8 weeks pregnant I can't imagine that can be good for any of us!"
I'm sure I miscarried for a dozen OTHER reasons, but it doesn't help me as I climb back on the roller coaster to think that maybe my many many pregnant Os could have brought my baby any harm

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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Old 04-01-2009, 01:06 PM
 
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Hey Carmen - could you move me to waiting to O? Thanks!

Some good news. We've finally found a repro doc that we feel okay working with (having just moved from the lovely progressive bay area to the more regressive, but affordable and gorgeous, Colorado). The first RE we saw was a nightmare...refused to give me my records saying they would "confuse" me and insisted that I ovulated 14 days before I started bleeding, regardless of what my year+ of charting displayed. The second doc was just as condescending. I finally started asking around and some feminist midwives/nurses told me that docs in this part of CO act like they are out of the 1950s in terms of health care.

But yesterday, we finally met a lovely doc who actually listened to my perceptions about my body, had a fabulous discussion about a variety of studies published in different academic journals, and came up with a treatment plan together. It was quite a breath of fresh air. The only weird thing, and i don't know if anyone else has run into this, is that he says that the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (I might have that wrong) requires a psych eval for all couples who use sperm or eggs that don't belong to one member of the couple. Has anyone else run into this? It seems he's perfectly willing to get around the rule by having my former therapist just fill out a form saying "yup, she's fine" which is nice. But it's still a little creepy...

Our only sticking point came when I was asking him why the psych eval was necessary and he said "well, so when your child comes home and asks where's daddy you can tell them." My feathers were a bit ruffled as I responded, "I have written a book on homophobia and I travel around the country training teachers and psychologists how to deal with it, so I that level of instruction is not necessary for me." At that point, thankfully, he seemed willing to work around the rule!

Still continuing on my first cycle on letrazole. Fingers are crossed that it helps with this whole endometriosis thing...

Professional nerd, DP to Megan and mommy to 3 y/o Bam Bam . TTC since January '09.  Welcomed our new babes May 22, 2011. Now living life in the NICU one day at a time.
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Old 04-01-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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Thanks for doing the April thread, Carmen.

I suppose I can be moved to "waiting to O" (finally) but I don't have high hopes for this month... our KD's gf's mother just passed away, so things are sort of touch-and-go in his neck of the woods... plus we're just meeting w/ our lawyer for the first time tomorrow to go over the KD agreement. So if there's anything that needs revising, etc., it'll just make this "getting ready" process take longer.

BUT, there is an outside chance we could have our first insem this month, so best to be optimistic, right?

May will most likely be our 1st month, but I'm going to keep my hope on for April anyhow.

Thanks! Good luck to all those TTC in April! May the Bunny bring everyone fertilized eggs. lol!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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Old 04-01-2009, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Updated

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Old 04-01-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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cejae: Sounds like you found the good doc in town! The psych eval does seem odd. I can maybe see people suggesting a pysch visit for folks, esp. straight couples, since by the time they're using donor zygotes they've probably been going through a long and complicated process and may have issues they'd want to discuss about the non-bio aspects of their future kid. But we, generally, go into the process knowing and accepting that our kids won't have a bio relationship to one or both parents... Good luck!


Technique question for at-home insemmers. We seem to run into the problem of, um, leakage during insems. DW syas she has the syringe in all the way, is depressing slowly, and our samples are .75cc, so not a lot. We tried elevating my hips - I have to get almost upside down for it to stay in! Help?

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

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Old 04-01-2009, 04:57 PM
 
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we have dp's p4 results - 15.8 @ 6dpo which they have deemed normal and dp does not need to take the nasty prometrium supplements. yay!

one more week til our beta test and dp has zero symptoms! her bbt was high again this morning.

g

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Old 04-01-2009, 08:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by katharinerose View Post
Technique question for at-home insemmers. We seem to run into the problem of, um, leakage during insems. DW syas she has the syringe in all the way, is depressing slowly, and our samples are .75cc, so not a lot. We tried elevating my hips - I have to get almost upside down for it to stay in! Help?
We get leakage sometimes too. Especially after I stand up and if it's a large sample (1.5-2 cc, normally only 1cc). Everything I have read (and it makes sense) says that the semen leaks out but the sperm have already started on their way so not a big deal. I lay with a pillow under my hips/butt and my legs in the air against the headboard/wall for 30 minutes. Sorry for the visual lol

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Old 04-01-2009, 09:49 PM
 
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Not sure what to expect at my appointment tomorrow. I'm guessing that we will have blood work and u/s. Had to have swimmers at the clinic today only good in shiping container for 5 more days what if I haven't O'd by then? what if I O over the weekend? They said something about a trigger if I'm not close to Oing will the have me do the trigger? Trying not to stress too much in the next 14 hours hard to do with not knowing exactly what to expect. Fortunatly census has been low at work so there is a good chance that I will be called off tomorow eve. Good if insem not good if don't.

smile.gif Me - 34 TTC#1 as a SMBC...after a 2 year break. treehugger.gif Embracing all things "crunchy" treehugger.gif
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Old 04-02-2009, 09:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cejae View Post



The only weird thing, and i don't know if anyone else has run into this, is that he says that the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (I might have that wrong) requires a psych eval for all couples who use sperm or eggs that don't belong to one member of the couple. Has anyone else run into this?
When we went to an RE, we were told that we needed to meet with a psychologist because we were using donor sperm. The way that it was explained to us was that it is primarily set up for straight couples, but they don't discriminate so we had to do it also. Basically they just asked us questions about things we had been talking about for years.

Loving wife to Kate. So in love with Amelia. Born August 14, 2009
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Old 04-02-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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Carmen, will you move us to waiting to know?
Thanks for doing the thread.
DP had her first IUI last night and then another this morning. We ended up going to a midwife to do it, and she was great and very reasonable priced! which is great b/c we stronly dislike our local RE (only went there once) and DP's insurance kind of sucks.
It was a total adventure because we made a decision to go back to frozen and try IUI like less than 2 weeks ago, so had to register w/ a bank again, order it, get it shipped, figure out who would do it, etc. in quick succession, and it all worked out despite the fact that there were some very nerve-wracking parts (like the fedex driver being 2 and a half hours late delivering it, when we were supposed to be there at the midwife's already) Obviously it was supposed to happen, because we kept encountering people who were flexible and helped us. so now we're in the 2ww again!
katherinerose we always had problems with "leakage" too. we tried a couple things. I held DP's legs up in the air for several minutes. it felt like "if these walls could talk 2" when ellen hold sharon stone's legs up in the air, lol.
anyway that seemed to work a little bit. then she also just had an orgasm before, not after. i guess for some people it makes a difference, cuz you can actually push some of it out. sorry if this is tmi. we had read different stuff about before vs. after.
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Old 04-02-2009, 04:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Updated.

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Old 04-02-2009, 05:27 PM
 
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Good luck to all in the 2 week wait. To those waiting to O fingers crossed that all falls into place. As for us we are still waiting to O. U/S and bloodwork not great small folicles and so sign if any surge if we don't look any difrent by monday then we are still in this cycle and will start clomid, if close to Oing then we will be out till next cycle. Fingers crossed that things will be okay. Just what I was afraid of...and they still can't find that left overy.
Jen and Tam

smile.gif Me - 34 TTC#1 as a SMBC...after a 2 year break. treehugger.gif Embracing all things "crunchy" treehugger.gif
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Old 04-02-2009, 06:12 PM
 
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Thanks DM630 and KatharineRose. The doc was actually kind enough to send me the guidelines suggesting the psych eval and indeed it's all designed for straight folks - not those of us for whom all of our friends deal with the exact same issues around donor sperm! The doc seemed to recognize this and was very apologetic about it which I found quite endearing.

Good luck mizsatisfied! Isn't it wonderful having the insem done by a midwife? When I can I fly back to CA to have IUIs done by a midwife there some cycles and it makes a world of difference doing it in a bed at home (even if it's my friends house, not mine). I wonder if the horrid RE in Albuquerque is the same one as here in Co Springs. He has a practice there as well...I continually wonder how someone with his bedside manner stays in practice!

Professional nerd, DP to Megan and mommy to 3 y/o Bam Bam . TTC since January '09.  Welcomed our new babes May 22, 2011. Now living life in the NICU one day at a time.
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Old 04-02-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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Quote:
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I wonder if the horrid RE in Albuquerque is the same one as here in Co Springs. He has a practice there as well...I continually wonder how someone with his bedside manner stays in practice!
That's so crazy, I wonder if it's one and the same. I believe the words "alternative lifestyle choice" came out of his mouth at our first and only in-person visit. He also lectured us endlessly on the crazy risk we were taking with a KD, despite the fact that I told him a few times that I am a health educator in HIV prevention and sexual health. and had known our KD since I was 10!
oh, those kooky RE's.
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Old 04-03-2009, 10:14 AM
 
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mizsatisfied, good luck in your tww!! fx! how is everyone else doing? thank goodness it's friday!

afu, we are 8dpo and temps are still staying high. of course dp usually has a 15 day lp, so that's no big surprise. other than that, still no symptoms.

g

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Old 04-03-2009, 11:27 AM
 
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So, we have a new plan. It's amazing how new plans can make you feel better about your odds!

We are both going to try ...we figure, worse case scenario is two babies at once (or no babies). Best case scenario, babies (and, seriously we'll take as many as want to come!).

But, we're taking this month off just to give my cycle a chance to settle back down after the m/c. So May or June we will resume our trying.

Until then, I'm going to pick up a book I stumbled across written by female theologians who have experienced reproductive loss. I think it might help me with the development of a framework around the m/c.

f/x for kt and mg with the u/s today.

  Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!  joy.gifjoy.gifpartners.gif
 

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Old 04-03-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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That sounds like a fine plan, wishin' & hopin'!

I'd love to know the title of that book if you wouldn't mind sharing. I think it might help me, too.
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Old 04-03-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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13dpo here... No AF yet. But I've been cramping quite a lot today, so I feel like it must be right around the corner. Usually, I'm spotting by now, but who knows. Will test tomorrow if AF hasn't come yet. I'm just not holding out much hope. I think I'm letting myself get a little depressed.
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Old 04-03-2009, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wishin'&hopin' View Post
So, we have a new plan. It's amazing how new plans can make you feel better about your odds!

We are both going to try ...we figure, worse case scenario is two babies at once (or no babies). Best case scenario, babies (and, seriously we'll take as many as want to come!).

But, we're taking this month off just to give my cycle a chance to settle back down after the m/c. So May or June we will resume our trying.
I think that sounds like a great idea! Good luck to both of you! Very exciting

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Old 04-04-2009, 01:04 AM
 
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I'm technically still waiting to O, but the exciting part of my cycle is happening - I did the first insem tonight.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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Old 04-04-2009, 03:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm technically still waiting to O, but the exciting part of my cycle is happening - I did the first insem tonight.
Yay

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Old 04-04-2009, 10:18 AM
 
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Old 04-04-2009, 10:25 AM
 
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Hi Folks,

Just a quick request to add us to waiting to be ready and remove us from the bfp list. No heartbeat at our u/s yesterday, so we are, once again, out of the game.

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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Old 04-04-2009, 12:52 PM
 
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Oh Megin and Katie, I'm so sorry!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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Old 04-04-2009, 02:27 PM
 
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Megan and kate there are not enough words to express my deepest sympathay for your loss. May your hearts be comforted knowing that there are many people who are praying for you.
Hoping2bmoms-jen and tam

smile.gif Me - 34 TTC#1 as a SMBC...after a 2 year break. treehugger.gif Embracing all things "crunchy" treehugger.gif
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Old 04-04-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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Oh Megin and Katie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that you have a whole community holding you in our hearts.

CJ

Professional nerd, DP to Megan and mommy to 3 y/o Bam Bam . TTC since January '09.  Welcomed our new babes May 22, 2011. Now living life in the NICU one day at a time.
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Old 04-04-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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yay papa! bring on the tww! i have fx for you as always.

wishin'&hopin' that's great news! it's not something dp and i ever considered so i'm always in awe of couples who decide to do that. i understand where y'all are at with the decision though and i wish you a restful month before you both jump back in.

afu, 9dpo. this morning's temp was a little higher but nothing really to indicate dp's chart going triphasic. and no symptoms to report! only a few more days until our beta.

g

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Old 04-05-2009, 10:42 AM
 
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So I caved and tested this morning, and I can't tell what the results were!!! I got a very faint second line, but it's pale enough that I'm not sure if it's an actual second line, or an evaporation mark. I tried a second test and got the exact same result, so I just can't tell!!

I think I'm going to buy more tests today, and just test every day to see if the line gets darker or not. I am now officially going crazy.

(12dpo and counting)

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Old 04-05-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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Kelmendi, WOW! That sounds like an excellent sign. And only on 12dpo??? I'm keeping toes and fingers crossed! Yay!!! :

I'm being an absolute wuss on this cycle. I have yet to test at 15dpo. Usually, I start spotting at least a day or two in advance -- but there's still no AF in sight. Should I break down? I'm scared! I'd rather get AF than see a BFN. I've been having to pee so much that I can't seem to hold my urine for more than 1/2 hour or so. How long do I have to hold it?
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