Queer Conceptions - May 2009 - Page 8 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-28-2009, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll take it over for June.
Thanks a million milletpuff! I appreciate it!

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It's true! We did! E is SUPER LE CUTE!!! Such a sweet child! Even if he is slightly terrified of my doggies.

It was fun! I miss Toronto!
It was totally fun. Meeting up with you made me even more aware of the fact that we have very, very few queer friends in real life. I wish that E had more queer role models around. Thanks again for heading up our way papa!

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To be fair, your one doggie looks rather like a horse. But let Ocean at them. They won't know what hit them. Literally.
Yes, I think that that is exactly what E was thinking. But this morning he was going on and on about how nice papa's dogs were, so he doesn't seem to scarred!

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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Old 05-28-2009, 05:31 PM
 
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Well, came last night but it's lighter than usual with usual heavy cramping. I also tested this morning and got a BFN. I called the RE this am and they said if I don't have a regular period to call Monday for blood test. I'm pretty much in the mindset that the first try wasn't successful. Please move us to Waiting to O and we will try again in June!

Good luck to anyone else waiting for that glorious BFP!

Madly in love w/DW by the same name, mourning the baby girl we lost and expecting another baby in December 2010!
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Old 05-28-2009, 07:47 PM
 
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So today has been interesting. We thought five follicles was great because we have problems ovulating usually. Turns out the RE is hesitant to do the procedure because of the risk of multiples. After a lot of discussion about the risk of selective reduction we have convinced the doctor to do one iui tomorrow. If we coceive more than three we will reduce. With our luck though, we won't conceive at all. This just keeps getting more and more stressful.
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Old 05-29-2009, 03:31 AM
 
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Sorry kimlym. Dumb AF.

srjb, that's so odd. I hope you can go ahead and do it this month.

Roller coaster city around here lately. I'm sick of bleeding, it's such an unpleasant reminder. I'm looking forward to it being over and being able to start again next month.

Me + DP + 2 rescue lap dogs = True Love Always
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:28 AM
 
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Wish us luck! We are going in today for the IUI...I gave dw the triggershot last night...a less horrible experience than we thought it would be. She felt ovulation pain on her left side late last night...that was the side with 4 follicles, all over 19mm...so that is good news. No pain on the right side, we likely are not going to ovulate from that side...which is also good news seeming how the doctors are all up in arms about the risk of multiples. I mean, I understand with all the latest multiple hype on TV and all, but the chances of having more than twins or triplets are still so so so small.

Here we go!

Milletpuff--sorry to hear the news. We had a real early (5 wks) miscarriage last October (our first attempt)...I hope the bleeding stops soon and that you get that lasting BFP soon.

And to the rest of you...can't wait to hear about all the BFP's we are going to have at the end of this cycle!
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So sorry that AF found 'ya kimlyn.

And good luck on the IUI srjb! I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your DP.

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:36 PM
 
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MilletPuff - It totally sucks.

SRJB - G'luck, mate!

AFM - nada to report. On vaca. Smoking a bit, which is terrible. But I don't care. I'll be home in just over a week.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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Old 05-29-2009, 01:33 PM
 
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Oh, Milletpuff, that must be so hard having that reminder. Hopefully it passes fast.

Good luck SRJB! I'll be thinking of you!

Well, last night I went over to my friends' house to babysit their kids for a couple of hours and their five year old said to me within 15 minutes of coming into the house, "Hey, you have a baby in your shirt!" I hope that means something good. I've been having dull ovary pains ever since ovulation and yesterday they got stronger, it almost felt as if I was about to ovulate, though I know I already did, it was strange. It makes me worry a bit... I'm sure I'm being a hypochondriac, but I don't know, maybe it's a sign of an ectopic pregnancy or something?

Mama to two, and second-time surrogate. Expecting May 2015.
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Old 05-29-2009, 08:54 PM
 
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"You have a baby in your shirt"...I LOVE THAT!! Oh yay!

srjb go go go! I hope it goes so well!

On our end: so we decided to go out and do a little thank you/goodbye ritual for the m/c today out at a river. It was really sweet and I felt so much better, I'm glad I've been letting myself have the space to grieve, and the ritual was really sweet. Back in the car, 10 minutes after we leave the beach, the sperm bank calls and says hi, we want to let you know that a baby from your donor was just born with a congenital heart defect and we are removing him from our catalog. The chance that another baby will have the defect is 1-2% so if you like you can go ahead with your vials if you and your dr sign a waiver, or you can destroy your other vials and get a credit for any other donor.

!!!

My partner woke up with the ODDEST MOST RANDOM SONG in her head this morning: that bad 80's song...taking me to the point of no return. That's kinda how I feel about this whole process! Haha! It's like an Indiana Jones movie or something!

Sorry for the rambling...

xo

Me + DP + 2 rescue lap dogs = True Love Always
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:21 PM
 
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Just wanted to give a little update from our (quiet) end. Katie finally got her period today. The D and C was in the middle of April, so we've been waiting since then. We found out near the end of March there was no heartbeat, so it seems like forever ago.

We're about to start testing on Katie that, if all goes well, will qualify us for IVF. While I've been glad to, after almost three years, put this process in someone else's hands, I've expended a huge amount of energy in the past few days figuring out how we can still use our donor. It seemed simple -- have him bank in CA and then send the vials to our IVF doc in Boston. Even though his sperm don't thaw well enough to do at-home ICI, it's enough for IVF. Since he's known to us, we should be able to waive the quarantine period. But, he's gay, which is putting a total wrench in the process. It looks like we'll probably be able to work with Rainbow Flag Health Services, though. I spoke a few years ago to the director -- a total activist for queer family creation, and I spoke at length with him yesterday. I think he's going to help make this happen. I hope. But it's taken a lot to figure this all out, and we haven't even done more than have our consultation visit. I think I'm venting, complaining, etc. I know it will be worth it in the end and in the long run, but right now, I just want to move forward and see a little bean with a HB so badly. If we hadn't lost two pregnancies ago, Katie would be due in a few weeks. That's hard to grapple with right now. Even the last pregnancy...she'd be due in November, heading into the summer to have a big pregnant belly in a bikini -- a life-long dream of hers. I know that this is a journey for us of dreams revised, if you will, but I'm ready for a bit more ease to enter the process.

Phew! Vent over.

If there's anyone out there who has done IVF and has any wisdom as we enter the testing phase of things, we'd love to hear it!

be well all,
megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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Old 05-29-2009, 10:29 PM
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Aloha!

My dp and I live in Hawaii and after 7 months of charting and preperation, as well as celebrating our first year married two weeks ago, we are in our first TWW:

We are very excited to be on this path and very nervous. We hope to be able to support all those out there on the same journey! :

~The Girls From Hawaii

Me DP of 3 year jumping into the great divide with our dog
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:21 PM
 
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deleted post hi
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Old 05-30-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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My dp and I live in Hawaii and after 7 months of charting and preperation, as well as celebrating our first year married two weeks ago, we are in our first TWW:
Exciting! My DW and I are in our first TWW also.

Mama to two, and second-time surrogate. Expecting May 2015.
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Old 05-30-2009, 12:47 PM
 
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We tested this morning, 9dpo... still early but we figure we'd rather know if we can and it's early enough that the negative won't bum us out. Of course... it was negative. Still waiting. I hate the suspense!

Mama to two, and second-time surrogate. Expecting May 2015.
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Old 05-30-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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So, AF arrived. That was disappointing.

And now... now, we're taking a break. We've agreed to re-assess after a month off, but it was a reluctant agreement and I think we're looking at a much longer break.

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Old 05-30-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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CrunchySmurf, breaks can be hard, but sometimes they can be nice too!
good luck with yours, I hope it's going to be one of the nice ones!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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Old 05-30-2009, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dp and I live in Hawaii and after 7 months of charting and preperation, as well as celebrating our first year married two weeks ago, we are in our first TWW:
Welcome to the thread! I hope your stay here is really short!

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We tested this morning, 9dpo... still early but we figure we'd rather know if we can and it's early enough that the negative won't bum us out. Of course... it was negative. Still waiting. I hate the suspense!
The suspense is truly terrible, isn't it? But 9DPO to totally way too early to be definitive. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for 'ya!

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So, AF arrived. That was disappointing.

And now... now, we're taking a break. We've agreed to re-assess after a month off, but it was a reluctant agreement and I think we're looking at a much longer break.
I'm sorry. I hope that you can get back in the game sooner rather than later.

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:49 AM
 
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Hey guys,

Are all of you lucky enough to have a partner who supports you in having a child? I've been struggling with my partner's fears for over a year now. She is completely possessed by anxiety over what having a child would do to our relationship, our finances, and our life. It's nothing but doom and gloom for her. She can't seem to see it any other way. She's always present at the IUI's and all the bloodwork, but then she flip flips and completly wigs out. She becomes somewhat of a raging maniac and is extremely emtionally abusive to me. She has told me countless times how happy she is that I miscarried. She thinks I just need to get over it and move on, because she will never ever want a child. I can't take much more of this. Has anyone else gone through something similar?
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Old 06-01-2009, 09:50 AM
 
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mommies_2_be - my dp and i discussed having kids probably on our second or third date. after we moved in together we had more discussions and figured out a timeline and who would carry first etc.. i will admit i never thought i would settle down OR have kids but once we had talked about it i realized that i did. from the time we started dating to having our son was 4 years.

as for your situation, firstly, i can't believe your partner told you she was happy about your m/c!!! i'm sorry to have to say this but it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me at all. my opinion is you need to have a long talk and figure out what path you want to take - with children or not. and if your partner is adamant that she doesn't want kids well, you have some decision making to do. again and good luck!

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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Old 06-01-2009, 02:46 PM
 
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I am in agreement with Indigo. Disagreements over child-rearing philosophies are enough to strain most relationships, and disagreeing over having children does not sound good. And, nobody should stand for emotional abuse. So if that is what you are experiencing, I think you have a lot to think about. Whether one wants to have children at all is not something I think either party should compromise on. If one parent does not want to have children, that relationship is probably not going to be a healthy one in the long run. Better to figure all of that out now before bringing a kid onto the scene. Good luck!
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Old 06-01-2009, 11:54 PM
 
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mommies_2_be,

I am so sorry, that sounds incredible harsh. If my partner really did not want a child, that would be a deal-breaker for me, even if everything else was sparkling and perfect. If there was emotional abuse on top of that, well, as my old drag queen friend used to say: I'd be canceling my subscription to that magazine because there are just too many *issues*.

I'm sorry for your loss and I'm so sorry you have to go through it alone like that.

Me + DP + 2 rescue lap dogs = True Love Always
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Old 06-02-2009, 11:05 PM
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Hey guys,

Are all of you lucky enough to have a partner who supports you in having a child? I've been struggling with my partner's fears for over a year now. She is completely possessed by anxiety over what having a child would do to our relationship, our finances, and our life. It's nothing but doom and gloom for her. She can't seem to see it any other way. She's always present at the IUI's and all the bloodwork, but then she flip flips and completly wigs out. She becomes somewhat of a raging maniac and is extremely emtionally abusive to me. She has told me countless times how happy she is that I miscarried. She thinks I just need to get over it and move on, because she will never ever want a child. I can't take much more of this. Has anyone else gone through something similar?
I wish I had good advice for you in this situation. My wife and I have been preparing for this for over a year, mentally that is. We both held our concerns but I think that we have found jumping over the cliff together has always landed us someplace perfect. I hope you find that too.

Me DP of 3 year jumping into the great divide with our dog
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Old 06-05-2009, 12:55 AM
 
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6dpiui (almost 7) and dw felt a repeating poking sensation in her uterus for several hours. Different from the "pulling" sensation she felt last month (which is good since that month ended without a pregnancy!). I hope this is implantation. She is also much more moody than last month (but who knows what that means)...
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Old 06-05-2009, 03:33 AM
 
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srjb come on over to the June thread! I will update you there (if it's not already correct...)

Me + DP + 2 rescue lap dogs = True Love Always
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