I am new here, so I thought I would share my story. My name is Danielle. I am 26 and I live in New Zealand. Since September of last year I have been trying to conceive. I tried four times and used to get really excited every time, always thinking "this is it, this time I'm going to be a pregnant". I would even look online and figure out what day this baby was going to be born. I had a really regular period - coming every 27days like clockwork. I didn't realise that this was probably because I had come off the pill in June which was likely to be affecting my fertility as well.
I got quite distressed after attempt number 4. I told my friend who is acting as my donor that I wanted a break, and that I would understand if he was unable to continue after, but that I needed a break to get my sanity back. He was so lovely and said that he completely understood, and that whenever I wanted try again he was there with an endless supply of his donation.
Now we have started trying again. I sit here with no pants on right now feeling a bit gross as gravity plays its part and things start to leak out. This is attempt number 3. Our method has been that I would leave a key for him somewhere, he would do his business and leave his stuff for me, then text me when he was done and gone. I would be waiting nearby and go home and get it inside me with the aid of a needleless syringe, then lie with my feet up for half an hour. The last two times to make things more convenient for him he has done his part at home and left it in his letterbox. I would be parked up the street and he would text me once it was waiting for me. I would drive home - about 5 mins away and then do my part.
Things have changed a little from the first time we had tried. I now use those cheap OPKs and know my cervical mucus very very well. The first set of attempts were all based on "okay, 27 day cycle, 14 day luteal phase, so lets try 13 days into my cycle". I've learned a lot since then. Not everyone has a 14 day luteal phase eh? Would have helped to know that earlier!
I have had a few problems with the OPKs. I never really get a super true positive. What I have been finding I do is keep trying for a few days waiting for them to turn just that wee bit darker and then I get a bit now or never about it so go for it, but by then my already light cervical mucus is barely there. This time I waited til I saw a change - barely any line on one day of testing and then an almost positive the next day, I took that to be my spike in LH.
Also I have had problems with my cervical mucus. TMI alert - skip to the next paragraph those faint of heart! I have found it quite hard to find the stretchy stuff unless it's just after I've done a poo. There is quite often the creamy lotion kind stuff near the opening of my vagina at the same time though. So I just hope that it's up there when I put the sperm in, and don't poo before I put it in either. I need it in not out
But then there's the problem of after ovulation there is still some stretchy stuff all the way up til my period. Not heaps but some. Not sure if this is a problem, but putting it out there.
The other problem I have been having is with my cervical opening. For women who have not given birth vaginally it is supposed to be like a dimple hole. Women who have given birth should have a slit for an opening. Well, when I went to get an STD check not so long ago the doctor was looking up there and goes "hmm, you said you haven't had a baby is that right?" and I said "Yes, why what's wrong?" and she said "Oh nothing, everyone is different". So I was having a real poke around up there the other day and realised it felt like a slit, nothing like a dimple at all! I googled for hours and couldn't find anyone saying anything about this. Anyone got any ideas what it means?
That went on longer than I expected but I was so relieved to find a message board for queer folk. It has been such a lonely disheartening journey so far. My donor is one of my best friends, but we don't talk about this at all very much. He is not very good at emotional support. No one knows we are trying for a baby, not even my partner (she came along in January of this year, so we'd already had the first set of attempts done by then). She has been away for the past few months which have meant that I'm doing this a bit on the sly. My friend didn't tell his boyfriend either. It had been on the cards hypothetically about a year before we tried the first time around, and he had known then that my friend had said he would do it, but I think a lot of people thought it was more in the realm of "never going to happen". They ended up breaking up between the first set of attempts and the second set.
Anyway, that's who I am, and what I'm doing. I have read over a lot of the stuff on here and it's all really helpful. I now being the wait. Please please please no period this time!