how long did it take you to get pregnant? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 10-18-2009, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For those of you who got pregnant using fresh sperm & inseminating at home: I am wondering how many tries it took you. I'm going to be starting inseminations next month and I know there is no way to predict how long it will take to get pregnant, but I would love to hear from other folks how long it took them. Thanks!
Erin
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#2 of 26 Old 10-18-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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So you're doing self insemination? There are a few websites you can go to - just google it.

One thing I learned on here, when I was asking about it, is that it helps if you have an orgasm when you inseminate. When you are having sex, and thus, getting aroused, something opens (I think your cervix? I'm not entirely sure) and it helps get more sperm inside.

There is one mama on here I know has tried it. I'm sure she'll respond to you and tell you her story. It's quite fascinating.

Good Luck!!

Me with my baby girl Maeleigh (Oct 08) and My (step) baby girl Whren (May 05) in Heaven with her mommy .. And introducing our little JuneBug (June 10) We heard the !!!
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#3 of 26 Old 10-18-2009, 06:29 PM
 
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Two tries per cycle for 6 cycles.

Felt like an eternity but it was, of course, a perfectly average amount of time.

Good luck. It's so worth it!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#4 of 26 Old 10-18-2009, 06:46 PM
 
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First cycle: we tried with washed frozen sperm and one IUI, didn't work.
Second cycle: fresh sperm with one at-home insemination didn't work.
Took a month off.
Third active cycle: fresh sperm with three at-home inseminations I got knocked up.

So... three cycles, but only two cycles trying with the fresh sperm.

Mama to two, and second-time surrogate. Expecting May 2015.
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#5 of 26 Old 10-18-2009, 10:55 PM
 
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I type this somewhat dryly and quite bitterly - if you search, you'll find this exact same thread from...six months ago or so? Not sure. I happened to spot it yesterday while looking for info on something else.

Anyway, at that time, I said something like I was heading into my seventh cycle with my first known donor with fresh sperm, after two clinic tries with u/s and b/w and one at home try with anonymous frozen sperm. In the intervening time, I tried several more times with KD 1, took two cycles off for travel and think-time (now that felt like eternity!) and I've tried once with KD 2 and we're on our second cycle.

I'm now seeking the assistance of Fertility Clinic # 2, and their assistance has been less than helpful so far.

You can count, I refuse to anymore, but that's gotta be close to twenty cycles - one possibly ectopic possible early m/c my first cycle, one possible m/c a few months ago, and that's it. No sticky beans.

If you're trying to get a sense of how long it will take, prepare yourself to see that BFP anywhere from two weeks after your first attempt to never, but realistically, on the queer TTC thread, my guess is that about half of folks conceive within three attempts, and 75% within six attempts, and 90% within ten. I'm totally ballparking those numbers, but about half will end in miscarriage. The m/c rate seems higher for queers and others intentionally (and obsessively!) TTC because we're more likely to notice and talk about it.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#6 of 26 Old 10-18-2009, 11:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
The m/c rate seems higher for queers and others intentionally (and obsessively!) TTC because we're more likely to notice and talk about it.
I was thinking this, exactly, as I was reading through your post.

I hope your stay here is short.... but I've got nothing uber positive to add (yet) unfortunately. We've been charting 7 cycles, inseminating for 4 (3 of which were timed properly) and nothing to show yet (except for one early m/c). The reason we're only inseming about half of the cycles we should be is just because of some of the logistics involved w/ using a KD and being a queer couple TTC. We don't have unlimited access to sperm.

Hoping for some good news in the coming days, so hopefully I'll be back here proclaiming some awesomeness soon. :-)

Of course, there are plenty others who have success stories, and I'm sure if you browse around, you'll find MANY of them!

Good luck to you.

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#7 of 26 Old 10-19-2009, 12:09 AM
 
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Try #1 - got pregnant but suspect chemical pregnancy (faint BFP & late period).
Try #2 - got pregnant but miscarriage at 9.5wks (no reason found)
Try #3 - got pregnant but miscarriage at 5wks (no reason found)
Try #4 - BFN
Try #5 - BFN
Try #6 - BFN
Try #7 - BFP and currently 29wks pregnant

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#8 of 26 Old 10-19-2009, 01:10 PM
 
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Took DP 9 cycles (at least 2 insms per cycle, sometimes ICI and sometimes IUI). No medical problems save for a stenotic cervix.

I'm currently on cycle 10. Sigh. 1 round of fresh sperm, the rest have been IUI or ICI. No medical issues save for an endometrioma on my right ovary. Just started trigger/femara/follicle monitoring this past cycle.

Professional nerd, DP to Megan and mommy to 3 y/o Bam Bam . TTC since January '09.  Welcomed our new babes May 22, 2011. Now living life in the NICU one day at a time.
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#9 of 26 Old 10-19-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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Such a difficult question. We are so much more than statistics and though we compare ourselves to others' experiences, it's so individual.

I tried for 7 cycles with 3 different KDs. Each time we had a new KD, we had to do all the SDE screening and get new contracts. For 4 of the cycles, I used acupuncture, had an RE, took Clomid, estrogen, trigger shot, and progesterone. I did between 2 and 4 inseminations, well timed, each cycle. I have no known fertility issues and thought that with the interventions, I would have a better chance of conceiving. No such luck.

What worked for me? I left my marriage. My ex was less and less interested in starting a family with me and I became secure trying to do it myself. I started eating a Real Food diet, cut out all soy, and dumped my doctors.

My first time trying again (with a new DP btw), I charted, peed on opks, and had a few great orgasms each time we inseminated. Three well timed insems, every other day, the last on the day of ovulation. I kept my hips up for 30 minutes after each one and watched Murder She Wrote.

It worked.

Seriously? There is no rhyme or reason to ttc. It can be heartbreaking and full of hope. Often both at the same time. Each person has such a different experience and as hard as each BFN was, it wasn't the right time for me, even though I wanted it to be more than anything.

Best of luck to you and everyone ttc. May your time be short. xo

Sarah - mama to the love of my life, Aurelia Josephine, b. June 11, 2010

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#10 of 26 Old 10-19-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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Farmer Femme - how did you get the RE to work with you with a KD? Did you lie, sign a waiver? Please let me in on the secret! My clinic is putting me through hell and back.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#11 of 26 Old 10-20-2009, 01:35 AM
 
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Try #1: 2 frozen ICI units at home: BFN
Try #2: 2 frozen ICI units at home: BFN
Try #3: 1 frozen IUI unit, did ICI at home: BFN
Took a month off and had the most perfect cycle...
Try #4: 1 Frozen IUI through midwife, 1 IUI at home: delayed ovulation, BFN
Try #5: 2 frozen IUI units at home using same donor as try #4 (previous tries had been all different donors): BFP and the most wonderful little boy in the world.

Loving partner to smartycat  ribbonrainbow.gif  . Enjoying life with our DS's- 4/5/09 and 10/29/10 love.gif!  Moms to three dogs and four cats.
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#12 of 26 Old 10-20-2009, 01:44 AM
 
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Try #1: 2 IUIs - BFN
Try #2: 1 ICI and 2 IUIs - BFP (miscarriage at 5 weeks)
Try #3: 2 IUIs -BFN
Try #4: 1 ICI and 2 IUIs - BFP (currently 9 weeks pregnant)

All of our inseminations were unmedicated and performed at home.
We used frozen sperm.

Good luck to you!

Happy midwife (CNM) married to my lovely wife J, proud mamas to our sweet boy (6/10) and newly pregnant!
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#13 of 26 Old 10-20-2009, 08:52 AM
 
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I tried 4 times, doing one insemination each time. At this point my cycle was really regular - every 27days. I'm still not sure whether this was because I'd just come off birth control pills (helps keep my skin pimple free) or not.

I was disheartened and needed a break for self care so I took about 6 months off. During this time I became a lot more knowledgable about things like cervical mucus - I didn't know any of this previously. I now keep an eye on that and use OPKs (which are a bit confusing anyway).

I'm currently on try 8 now. On try 5 and 6 I inseminated once, try 7 I inseminated twice, and just this time I inseminated 3 times. Currently in the 2ww. I'm trying to not be defeated, but it's hard not to. I met so many people who get pregnant first pop so with a bit of luck this might be your experience.
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#14 of 26 Old 10-20-2009, 12:23 PM
 
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A search would really turn up quite a few threads like these, with lots of info!

For us:

Pregnancy #1: 2nd try (known donor, at-home)
Pregnancy #2: 1st try (known donor, at-home, m/c @ 12 weeks)
Pregnancy #3: Aaaah, something like 15th or 16th try? (known donor, combo of fresh and frozen, acupuncture, Clomid, trigger shots, ultrasound monitoring, lots of plane trips, etc.--way too depressing to keep count of the months or expenses...)

So, yeah, I think the average has worked out to about 6-7 months for me for each pregnancy (which says a lot about the variations of individual experiences!).
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#15 of 26 Old 10-21-2009, 04:05 PM
 
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Farmer Femme - how did you get the RE to work with you with a KD? Did you lie, sign a waiver? Please let me in on the secret! My clinic is putting me through hell and back.
It's illegal actually for an RE to do inseminations here in Idaho on an woman without her "husband's concent" and illegal for me to self-inseminate without medical guidance. I freaked out for a long time about the law and found I would have the hardest time ever doing IUI with my KD or going with frozen sperm. In the end, I just went to the RE consult alone and asked if he could help me get pregnant; that I would be conceiving on my own, but needed some assistance with hormones and monitoring. He agreed, luckily. (Also to note: my insurance didn't pay a dime, so he was paid oop at the inflated rate. Not bad incentive.) So we just did ICI at home with all that the RE could do otherwise. He gave me the meds and did my ultrasounds to check follicles and trigger. It was a don't ask - don't tell situation. Not fair or helpful in terms of trying to achieve equal reproductive rights, but I wasn't going to lose the help I had, however it came.

Hope that helps! I'm so sorry your clinic is giving you a hard time. Let me know how it goes!

Sarah - mama to the love of my life, Aurelia Josephine, b. June 11, 2010

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#16 of 26 Old 10-21-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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Farmer Femme - wow, the law is that restrictive? That's ridiculous.

My clinic is actually worse than that. She wouldn't even do cycle monitoring with me doing insems at home / getting IUI with someone else / whatever.

I'm now fighting them on EVERYTHING, so I'm not going to back down on the donor issue. Thanks for hte info!

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#17 of 26 Old 10-21-2009, 08:01 PM
 
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Thought i'd add that we used fresh sperm and no meds for all cycles including the one that resulted in the giant squirmy boy currently trying to eat my laptop.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#18 of 26 Old 10-21-2009, 09:52 PM
 
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The first time around it took 8 tries spaced over 2.5 years and more donors than I can count. In the end it worked on my 2nd clomid/IUI cycle with a new frozen donor.

Second time around it worked the first try. clomid/IUI/same donor as DS.

Eryn, wife to Amy, Mum to Eli, b. 1/9/08 and Willow, b. 5/29/10
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#19 of 26 Old 11-03-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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I tried D-IUI with clomid and injectibles four times and didn't get pregnant. On the third IUI I got a chemical pregnancy. I love my RE because he is very helpful in presenting the facts and letting me make my own decisions. However, don't let my stats scare you. I have fertility issues and I'm going probably going to start IVF in Jan. or Feb.

FTMPapa, if you hate your RE I highly suggest you get a new one. Having a good RE that you like will make your cycling MUCH more pleasant.
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#20 of 26 Old 11-04-2009, 10:59 AM
 
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this may be TMI, but...

we used fresh sperm from a KD and did the insemination at home. i had been temping, testing CM and using a saliva microscope.

Cycle 1: 3 tries 3 days in a row. DTD and DP put it in after i "finished". 2 days after we got home (KD lives out of town) my temp spiked. we tried too early in the cycle.

Cycle 2: 3 tries 3 days in a row. KD had been "fasting" for 3 days before try #1. This time DP put it in right before i "finished". i don't know if that made a difference, but i got my BFP 10 days later.

hope this helps!

-beth

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#21 of 26 Old 11-07-2009, 02:50 AM
 
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We did eight tries at home. Seven were at home with fresh sperm. The eighth was 1 IUI, 2 fresh home insems and we got our BFP.

There are so many factors to getting pregnant. We do everything we can to make things work, and then they do or they don't for reasons we can't factor. TTC has an element of voodoo and luck as well as our own planning.

Me: almost 40, RN DW: 38, CPD Boy: born 4/2/2007 Girl: born 8/23/2010
Queer Parenting since 2007
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#22 of 26 Old 11-07-2009, 07:40 PM
 
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Hi There
My partner and I did home insems with fresh sperm (KD - a good friend also gay who lived down the street and was very accommodating, we inseminated between 3/4 times per cycle). Our journey went like this
*1= BFN
*2= BFN
*3= BFN
*4= BFP - miscarried at 6.5weeks - Blighted Ovum
*5= BFP - miscarried at 11.5 weeks - Blighted Ovum. Went as saw miscarriage expert dr who ran a series of tests and found no probs
*6= BFN
*7=BFP who is now our beautiful 6 month old daughter whom we are totally, madly and deeply in love with.
Our journey to conceive took just over a year (some breaks for testing) and was heartbreaking at times but was well worth to have the beautiful baby we have now. I hope this is of help to someone. I am happy to go into further details about what we actually did at the inseminations if anyone is interested???
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#23 of 26 Old 11-11-2009, 05:01 PM
 
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Hi Loulabelle,
I would love to hear what you did at the inseminations and how many days apart you spaced them!
thanks,
citygirl
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#24 of 26 Old 11-12-2009, 01:02 AM
 
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We used the same KD throughout the whole thing. Because we are really close with our KD, we decided not to do initial fertility testing but to try for 6 months first (as we figured most straight couples would) and then try to make it work.

#1 3 insems at home with fresh sperm - BFN
#2 3 insems at home with fresh sperm - BFN
#3 missed cycle / inconsistent signs
#4 2 insems at home with fresh sperm - BFN
#5 missed cycle / donor out of town
#6 missed cycle / inconsistent signs
#7 2 insems at home with fresh sperm - BFN
#8 1 insem at home with fresh sperm - BFN
(initiated fertility testing)
#9 1 insem at home with fresh sperm - BFN
(nothing found to be wrong with me)
#10 4 insems at home with fresh sperm - BFN
(found out KD has low count and morphology)
(started looking into IUI with KD's fresh sperm)
#11 50mg clomid 3-7, 3 insems at home with fresh sperm - BFN
#12 50mg clomid 3-7, 1 insem at home with fresh sperm plus 1 monitored & triggered IUI - BFP!

Sperm count was low low low after the wash for IUI - 2 million swimmers - so we were sure it was a no go and started thinking about "breaking up" with our KD or going to IVF (not covered and we sooooo cannot afford) but then magic happened and we got our very unlikely BFP!

(PS: it's so cathartic to give this history to an audience who knows exactly what all of this means and how crazymaking all of this must have been. Thanks!)

mama to Hank - 12/09/09
 
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#25 of 26 Old 11-12-2009, 01:22 AM
 
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I haven't gotten my sticky BFP yet, but here it is:

#1 - 1st month charting, waiting on lawyer & KD contract
#2 - 2nd month charting, got KD contract, my father dies, leading to a whopper of an annovulatory cycle (my first ever). Go out on a limb and do 2 at-home insems w/ KD when I see some EWCM not really knowing whether I've Oed. BFN.
#3 - 3 at-home insems w/ KD (O-2, O, O+1). BFP!!!! .... chemical pregnancy.
#4 - skipped cycle due to CP and cycle a little wonky.
#5 - 3 at-home insems w/ KD (O-2, O, O+1). BFN. Still trying to get the hang of this timing thing.
#6 - 4 at-home insems w/ KD (O-3, O-2, O-1, O). BFN. But hows THAT for timing!!?
#7 - 3 at-home insems w/ KD (O-3, O-2, O-1)..... still in the TWW.

GL to all and YAY for those who remind us that it IS possible, and it WILL eventually happen!!!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#26 of 26 Old 11-17-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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It is possible... It will happen!

Baby 1
Try #1 - at home insems on O-2 and O-1 - Little boy born on 4/25/07
Baby 2
Try #1 - at home insems on O-2 and O-1 - BFP on 11/16/09

I told our donor that it was good that I wasn't straight...

S & Yrainbow1284.gif (Vermont Civil Union 7/8/03) DS1 Holdennovaxnocirc.gif (4/25/07) and two in heaven  angel.gif1/10 &  angel.gif5/10 our rainbow1284.gif is here  DS2 Keegan(5/23/11)homebirth.jpg
 
 
 
  

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