Counseling experience? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 10-24-2009, 10:30 PM - Thread Starter
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I am just curious if anyone has anything to share regarding coming out to a counselor/therapist. I am seeing one now and while being gay and married to a man is not my main problem or even really an issue, I know it will come up in the course of our conversations. The thing is, I am pretty scared about bringing it up. She is a young woman, attractive and I live in a fairly conservative area. However, I feel like i want to mention it soon because if she can't be professional/objective about it then my counseling in the end will not be that productive and I'd rather have a therapist that I can talk to about everything. So, any experiences? Bad or good or are counselors generally professional enough to keep their opinions and personal biases to themselves?

Novel writing student Mama to ds (8y) and new DD 1-13-10.

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#2 of 4 Old 10-25-2009, 12:03 AM
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I think you should definitely bring it up. If you're thinking about it, you will be so busy thinking about it in your sessions that it won't be productive! Hopefully, she'll be an open-minded person and able to hear you without just hearing your labels, you know?
Most likely, if you're spending your time worrying about how she will react you might not be really there for you, which is the whole point of going!

good luck!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#3 of 4 Old 10-25-2009, 12:19 AM
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I would say to bring it up otherwise it will always be there in your mind and could prevent you from moving forward in your sessions. Counselors are supposed to be there for you, to listen and advise without judging. I think you might find that people that go into that type of profession are a lot more understanding than the general population, or at least able to hide their biases better.

I know when I was in counseling, it was something that came up more than a few times since it was a part of my everyday life. I can't really imagine not being able to talk about things that were affecting me. I don't really know how it came out, but I think it was just more of a gradual admittance than a complete outing. My counselor was awesome really. She never judged, and it was something that I could talk about without feeling weird about since I felt like I had to hide it from everyone else.

I wish you luck!

Loving partner to smartycat  ribbonrainbow.gif  . Enjoying life with our DS's- 4/5/09 and 10/29/10 love.gif!  Moms to three dogs and four cats.
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#4 of 4 Old 10-27-2009, 11:39 AM
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I work as a counsellor so I have a bit of knowledge on the other side of things. I really think you should tell your counsellor, preferably sooner rather than later. I say the sooner rather than later thing, as it's obviously going to be something that is going to come up a few times, and it's a big part of who you are. I know it can be scary, but if she is worth what she is being paid then she shouldn't hold judgments at all. Also, if you tell her and then feel uncomfortable or she doesn't respond in an appropriate way then it's better to find out sooner rather than later.

Luckily most counsellors get into counselling for all the right reasons. She shouldn't care. On the other hand though, there are quite a few fundamentalist Christian counsellors out there doing it for their reasons too. Chances are she will be cool with things, and if not, then would you really want to be making the amazing brave journey that is counselling with someone who is lightyears away from you on understanding something as fundamental as love?
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