Queer and Pregnant! Nov. Dec. and January 2009! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 157 Old 11-10-2009, 11:17 PM
 
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Beastie - There's a great diaper trial package offered by Jillian's Drawers that I'm considering trying: http://www.jilliansdrawers.com/produ.../tryclothfor10

They send you a bunch of different kinds and you can return the (used!) ones you don't like and keeps any you do like. Sounds like a good way to try out the different kinds - prefolds, pockets, and all-in-ones. If you don't like any of them you can return them all and pay only $10 for the trial. Of course, I'm pretty sure they are banking on you loving at least some and ordering a bunch!

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#62 of 157 Old 11-11-2009, 09:41 AM
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is anybody else freaking out as the result of this CD discussion??!! I mean don't get me wrong I really appreciate all the research and insights here, but its kinda making me anxious as I look at 20 Bum Genius I asked for as shower gifts thinking--OMG, what if my lil one gets a rash or has a reaction to these or I just hate them?? I'm grateful for the link to the trial sampler and wishing I knew about it sooner...eeek I have to admit that I tried to do research and got so fricken overwhelmed so I just picked one. Thought I couldn't go wrong with AIO OSFA!! When I was reading these posts last night my thought was maybe I should just get a big package of newborn disposables? I can't possible be thinking about diapering systems in the moment that my entire world has been flipped on its head can I?? I am worried that CD decisions will seem too daunting in the first few weeks and that I wont be able to make any better decisions then the one I did already, "ummm i'll just get these"

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#63 of 157 Old 11-11-2009, 10:38 AM
 
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thanks angela!! we've actually bought stuff from that site already. i am working up to discussing cding again with our daycare director.

kjm, lol, that was MY first thought - just buy a bunch of BG! then i really started looking into it - the benefit here is that i'm not the pregnant one. i imagine dp would be freaking out if she was doing the research. i read a lot of reviews and also spent some time on this website - http://allaboutclothdiapers.com/ - the mom has done a bunch of testing on various diapers and there are articles on every different method.

papa, i await the news of your first beta with baited breath!!!

g

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#64 of 157 Old 11-11-2009, 11:28 AM
 
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Beastie - There's a great diaper trial package offered by Jillian's Drawers that I'm considering trying: http://www.jilliansdrawers.com/produ.../tryclothfor10

They send you a bunch of different kinds and you can return the (used!) ones you don't like and keeps any you do like. Sounds like a good way to try out the different kinds - prefolds, pockets, and all-in-ones. If you don't like any of them you can return them all and pay only $10 for the trial. Of course, I'm pretty sure they are banking on you loving at least some and ordering a bunch!
wow! this is great! thanks so much!

rainbow1284.gifbeth  stillheart.gifDW   blahblah.gif DD  Nov. 2009 and 1sttri.gif due Feb. 2013
 
 
 

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#65 of 157 Old 11-11-2009, 12:11 PM
 
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Keely, don't freak out! It's going to be fine! (I feel sort of responsible, since I was the one who told you how much we love our BGs...) And, we do really love them, we just have a *really* sensitively skinned kid. I have several friends who use BGs exclusively and love them. It really just depends on the individual situation.

Also, if you end up not loving the BGs you've already received, you can sell them on diaper swappers. People pay $12-$13 a piece for them, so you could easily sell them and use the $$ to buy something else.

Think of it this way: you've got 20 diapers already. You're all set for the beginning! Use them (and a few disposables if you need them) for the first couple months, and by then you'll know if you like them. If you do, great! They are so nice and easy to use! If you don't, no worries- you'll have the time and energy then to sell them and try something else.

Diapering seems so overwhelming, but I promise it will be okay!

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

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#66 of 157 Old 11-11-2009, 12:51 PM
 
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thanks for all of the information on cd. i am feeling ambivalent about it. it sounds like a great idea for the environment, etc. but it also feels totally overwhelming to research all of the different types, etc.

friends tried it QUITE unsuccessfully and finally gave up. plus i am being advised by others not to even consider cd.

a trial program sounds like you can't lose by trying them out.

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#67 of 157 Old 11-11-2009, 01:42 PM
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Angela--thanks--you always know how to break it down for me. Ok normal heart rate resumes and I realize its just poop and pee. I'm sure I can figure it out!!

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#68 of 157 Old 11-11-2009, 05:15 PM
 
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I know CDing isn't for everyone but it's worked quite well for us, saved us TONS of money and of course is better for our son and the environment. We will absolutely CD with the new baby.

We started CDing when my son was three weeks old. We had planned to CD but needed to settle into life with a baby before we added what I now think of as a small amount of work to wash diapers. While we planned to do it we did not plan to start so soon, but our son had terrible diaper rash and as soon as we took him out of disposables it cleared up.

We have mostly used Fuzzi Bunz and the prefolds with covers but recently I bought some Smartipants and I really like them and they are by far the cheapest pocket diaper around. I do prefer pockets to AIOs, but that's just my preference.

ETA: from my experience people who have tried gDiapers have been totally turned off to CDing. I would never recommend it to anyone based on this.

Eryn, wife to Amy, Mum to Eli, b. 1/9/08 and Willow, b. 5/29/10
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#69 of 157 Old 11-12-2009, 05:23 PM
 
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I won't be joining you folks this month afterall.

The beta was bad, so I'm out.

Maybe next month.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#70 of 157 Old 11-12-2009, 07:05 PM
 
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Hi! I heard about this board from my friend Angela M.
My partner and I are newly pregnant. 8 wks. And very excited! She is a middle school art teacher and I am an ICU RN. We have been together 6 years, and have a very loved dog and cat.
We became pregnant on our 6th try with frozen sperm from a bank ( 2 vials) iui at home with assistance from friends (AngelaM being one). We had done several cycles in a abortion clinic (after hours) where I used to work assisted by an NP friend, who helped my partner perfect her insemination technique. But this one was at home, in bed. I had also done 3 of those cycles on Clomid, then took a break for 3 months, started twice weekly acupuncture, Chinese herbs, and intensified western herbs, and vitamins, quit smoking, sugar, and white flour. And became pregnant. Oh, I am 31 and my partner is 26.
The first weeks have been rough, with nausea and vomiting starting at week 5. I was on Reglan and just switched to Zofran yesterday, and am slightly better today. Excited to join here and to read all of your stories!

Me (34) Partner (30)  Parents to DS born at home (6/2010).  We are TTC #2.

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#71 of 157 Old 11-12-2009, 07:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pleasantlyfurious View Post
Beastie - There's a great diaper trial package offered by Jillian's Drawers that I'm considering trying: http://www.jilliansdrawers.com/produ.../tryclothfor10

They send you a bunch of different kinds and you can return the (used!) ones you don't like and keeps any you do like. Sounds like a good way to try out the different kinds - prefolds, pockets, and all-in-ones. If you don't like any of them you can return them all and pay only $10 for the trial. Of course, I'm pretty sure they are banking on you loving at least some and ordering a bunch!
They're a great company. I know the mama who owns it and she is all about helping people find out what works for them.

As someone who's CD'd two babies, I definitely agree that they're all different. My first did best with one-size pocket diapers, but my 2nd one wets SO much that we using the Bum Genius AIO and we have to use a cover on top of them which seems ridiculous but she wets sooo much. I love the ease of BG, but it seems silly to spend all that money only to have to use covers. Might as well be doing prefolds and covers, but when she was born she was too small for even the smallest of prefolds and BG were the only diapers we could find that fit her tininess.

Partnered mama with DD (01/04) and DD (08/09) and 8 critters, including a !
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#72 of 157 Old 11-12-2009, 07:12 PM
 
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I won't be joining you folks this month afterall.

The beta was bad, so I'm out.

Maybe next month.
Such sucky news Papa. I'm really sorry s

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#73 of 157 Old 11-12-2009, 07:24 PM
 
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Keely: re cloth nappies... If there's one nappy that you're least likely to go wrong with, it's BumGenius. And I'm talking from A LOT of experience. We really resisted the BGs for so long because in Australia they are the MOST expensive but after hundreds of dollars spent on nappies that kinda, sorta, sometimes work for our kiddo we bit the bullet and and bought ourselves a decent stash of BGs and it's been a dream. And many of our friends, who have also been through a stack of other brands, agree.

Plus, the resale value is v. good.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#74 of 157 Old 11-12-2009, 08:25 PM
 
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Welcome, TillyBarry! And congratulations

Papa, I'm so sorry for the bad beta news. I know it probably isn't much consolation but it seems to be encouraging that you got pregnant your first try with "help" this time around!

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#75 of 157 Old 11-12-2009, 10:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the great links about diapering, PleasantlyFurious and IndigoScot! And thanks also to KJM for saying what many of us were secretly feeling: this stuff is hard and overwhelming. Anyway, now I know more, feel solidarity, and thanks to everyone else's reassurance and experience, I'm sure it can be done.

Welcome, TillyBarry! I think AngelaM even came to the TTC board to announce her joy when she found out you guys were pregnant, so I'm thrilled that now you're here in person. I'm the current threadkeeper, and I'd love to add you to the list, but could you let me know your estimated due date?

FTMPapa, I'm holding out until you get the second beta results back. FX for increasing numbers...

AFM, not too much to report. Almost at 10 weeks, and still feeling pretty nauseous and exhausted. But I can't complain too much, since I mostly just feel sick, without the vomiting. I have an ultrasound scheduled next week, to follow up on the mystery maybe embryo/maybe yolksac that we saw in addition to the obvious embryo at 8 weeks. Otherwise, the main thing is lots of stress from work: I'd love to hear from any of you about how you are dealing with your pregnancy at work, if you work away from home.

Joyful, busy, often overwhelmed queer academic mama to an awesome toddler and:

****5****10****15****20****25**heartbeat.gif*30****35****40

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#76 of 157 Old 11-13-2009, 10:09 AM
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Mujer! mi amiga!!! gracias por la informacion!! Great to see you around these parts!! How are you?? and the fam?? any recent pics we can gawk at??? besos y abrazos!! (I know that Spanish isn't your strongest suit, but your screen name just makes it pour out of me!!)

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#77 of 157 Old 11-13-2009, 03:20 PM
 
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Today we saw the heartbeat!!!!!

This pregnancy is starting to feel real. Which is amazing. The doc gave us an EDD of July 4. Too funny. No matter when the babe comes, fireworks will certainly be in order.

I feel a bit better, now, about offering up some cloth diaper thoughts. We used a service for prefolds for the first year. That was perfect for our situation -- an apartment with shared, coin-op laundry that never seemed to get stuff super clean. I wouldn't have wanted to rely on that for washing dipes. After a year, we switched to fuzzi bunz stuffed with prefolds. On occasion we'd put a wool cover, like an aristocrat, over the whole fuzzi bunz set up for overnight. It was a perfect back up for any leaks that made it out during that long time span.

In terms of diapering a newborn, I think that you're right that it's hard to know what's perfect for any babe before they arrive. But just count cloth diapering as another thing you'll be muddling through. I've seen FAR more blow outs and diaper leaks with disposables than in all our time using cloth (poop up the back being the main, nasty example). So I think if you're thinking about cloth, dive right in. Disposables aren't a guarantee of no mishaps. That being said, if the disposables give you a certain peace of mind in the beginning, go for it!

be well all,
megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#78 of 157 Old 11-13-2009, 03:32 PM
 
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Yay, Megin! Congratulations!!!

Beastie, sorry to hear you are still feeling nauseous. You should start feeling better in the next few weeks. I don't feel I have a particularly stressful job (I work in IT) but I did (and still do) struggle with how friggin' tired I was/am by the early afternoon. During the 1st trimester I would actually go have a 20 min. nap in my car. I am also very fortunate to get a ridiculous amount of vacation time and a flexible schedule so if stress did start to affect me, I was able to have some time to just relax and regroup. Another suggestion I would have is to talk to your boss and co-workers - I'm sure they'll understand that stress is harder to handle when you're pregnant and maybe some adjustments can be made. Good luck!

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#79 of 157 Old 11-13-2009, 03:33 PM
 
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for megin and katie!!!! yay for a heartbeat!

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#80 of 157 Old 11-13-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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Megin and Katie - for the heartbeat! I'm so glad for you!

Beastie - I hear ya on the work thing. Sadly I was laid off right before my symptoms started - so I didn't really have to navigate balancing pregnancy and work - but there have been many many many days that I've wondered how people have a job while pregnant (or other little ones to look after, or keep their house from becoming a disaster area!). As much as being unemployed sucks when you are expecting a baby, it has been nice to have lots of time to nap and just sit on the couch being cranky.

Still madly in stillheart.gif with jb after 10 years and chasing after my precocious toddler jog.gif    

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#81 of 157 Old 11-14-2009, 03:39 PM
 
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congrats to you both megin and katie! very exciting news.

we had our first midwife appt yesterday at 8 weeks. i guess i was hoping to see a heart beat or something so a little disappointed. i was told no ultrasound at this point because there is no question about aging the little one since she knows exactly when she did the iuis!

our next dilemma is about testing options that we need to decide on soon. i think i am older than most on this board at 39 so maybe most of you are not in the position to have to think about options.

i was wondering if any of you had cvs/amnio thoughts or decisions? i'm not sure if having a statistical prediction is enough for me if we only do a nuchal translucency scan but not sure it is enough to overcome my concern about an invasive procedure. to add to my concerns, i called the hospital in my area that performs cvs and they won't release their numbers on # of procedures, miscarriages, etc.

how did those of you who made the decisions decide what to do? did any hospitals actually give out their stats?

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#82 of 157 Old 11-15-2009, 02:24 AM
 
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jjnoho, I'm 38 and will be 39 when this baby is born. I also chose to think about testing options related to "advanced maternal age." Up until last year, anyone over 35 was offered amniocentesis. I actually had an appointment set up last time I was pregnant but didn't go through with it because I miscarried before it was time. Both my partner and I decided that we wanted to know if we would be faced with any genetic disorders. I'm still not sure what we thought we would do when we found out but we talked about different options. This pregnancy we were with a midwife from the beginning who didn't even bring up any genetic screening/testing until I asked. She informed us that the age had been upped to 40 for amnio because age was not considered an accurate measurement on its own for determining risk of genetic defects. Both my GP (during pregnancy last year) and midwifes cautioned strongly against CVS, saying there were more risks with hitting limbs, etc. during the procedure. We had already decided last year that wasn't going to be an option for us. Our midwife told me that there was amazing testing available using bloodwork and ultrasound that would give a 90-95% accuracy of determining risk. I read a ton of research on it and it did indeed sound like a good option if we wanted to pursue early testing. So, we went ahead with the testing, again, not really knowing what we would do with the results at that point. Turns out the results gave me a very low risk and the genetic councilor who explains the results said they absolutely were advising us to not to any more testing as it really wasn't necessary. We decided immediately that that was it - because I really didn't know what I would want even if baby did have a genetic defect, the risk was so low, and everyone was telling us that further testing wasn't advised. Emotionally, it gave us both piece of mind...whether it is a false feeling of 'security' or not, it did allow us to move forward with the pregnancy and not worry about it too much. Of course, I still worry if baby will be healthy, etc. but it doesn't seem to be related to my age anymore.

Sorry for the rambling, I hope there is something in my experience that resonates with you!

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#83 of 157 Old 11-15-2009, 03:40 PM
 
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Sorry for the rambling, I hope there is something in my experience that resonates with you!
thanks carmen. it absolutely resonated with me and helped me a great deal. it is a big decision to make. i hadn't heard anything like that about cvs but the procedure does concern me. thanks for your input.

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#84 of 157 Old 11-15-2009, 11:04 PM
 
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Well, I'm technically advanced maternal age at 36, which I find absurd by the way. Following 4 miscarriages, I'm in a slightly different boat about testing. But in my earlier pregnancy, before I miscarried, I felt that I didn't want to do the testing because I didn't want to spend the pregnancy worried or unhappy in any way. I understand that some folks feel it gives them more time to prepare for a special needs child. This time around, they did pre-implantation genetic testing during IVF as a way to minimize the miscarriage risk. It only recently hit me that that means I don't really have to do most of the other tests because they are related to genetics, and we have most of that info already now.

At 7 weeks now, feeling pretty good, with my occasional bouts of mild nausea. I described it to DW today as, "kind of like a mild hangover" and I can't feel too bad about it.

Katie, DW to Megin, Mamma to Quinn (7y.o.) and Wylie, born 07-04-10
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#85 of 157 Old 11-16-2009, 11:02 AM
 
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i was considered ama (37) when i was pregnant with our son. we were offered testing by our ob and refused it - we even had to sign a form saying we were declining. we did have the level ii u/s at 20 weeks.

the reason why we refused testing is because the early screening - nuchal translucency and the triple screen - are notorious for giving false positives. we had personal experience from friends who were told their children had issues - one was even told to abort - and went on to have perfectly healthy daughters.

my own sister, who was ama with her last son, was told by the nhs that she had an increased risk of downs (she had no idea what the tests were for and had them with her first 2 sons when she wasn't ama). she was freaked out and went ahead with the amnio because she wanted to know - and with 2 kids already, who could blame her? anyways, she went through weeks of stress and panic all for no reason. he didn't have downs, just her test results plus the ama factor bumped her into their statistical red zone.

while my dp is not ama, we refused all testing with this baby too and only had the level ii u/s at 20 weeks.

all this to say, if you wouldn't abort anyway, why put yourself through all the stress?

i hope that helps.

g

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#86 of 157 Old 11-17-2009, 10:29 PM
 
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Can I join We are due really late July but I am sure that I will be sometime in August. This is baby #2 we have a little boy who is 2.5. I am so excited to meet all of you!

S & Yrainbow1284.gif (Vermont Civil Union 7/8/03) DS1 Holdennovaxnocirc.gif (4/25/07) and two in heaven  angel.gif1/10 &  angel.gif5/10 our rainbow1284.gif is here  DS2 Keegan(5/23/11)homebirth.jpg
 
 
 
  

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#87 of 157 Old 11-18-2009, 10:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome, Painefaria! And congrats on your new pregnancy. I hope this is a healthy and easy ride for you!

I've added you to the list; let me know if you'd like me to give you a more specific EDD.

ETA: It seems that the list at the start of the thread is a bit out of date: has anyone heard from the following folks?
Travelgirlz, due with twins October 10
Mads-a-Mama, due October 25
Deny Zoo29, due November 5

Let me know here or off list if you know what's up and want to give an update.

In the meantime, we have two very soon EDDs: Turtle's Momma and baby.fatty, how do you feel?

Joyful, busy, often overwhelmed queer academic mama to an awesome toddler and:

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#88 of 157 Old 11-18-2009, 08:57 PM
 
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Hi all -

I saw in my DDC that deny_zoo29 had her little girl, Dekaylee May Katherine Bond, on 10/29.

I am still plugging along... 39 weeks today and holding in there. No particular signs that labor is imminent, and I'm not yet actively trying to bring it on. I'm still going to work (I need the money! Though I'm not very productive!).

Even though I thought I was uncomfortable *before*, now I feel like I know what uncomfortable *really* is! I do have a massage scheduled in an hour which I am hoping will work a miracle on my back.

I'll keep y'all posted... Hope all of you are hanging in there too!

mama to Hank - 12/09/09
 
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#89 of 157 Old 11-18-2009, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Baby.Fatty! And belated congrats to Denny_Zoo and Dekaylee!

Still looking for word on Travelgirlz and Mads-a-Mama...

Hope you feel more comfy soon, Baby.Fatty!

Joyful, busy, often overwhelmed queer academic mama to an awesome toddler and:

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#90 of 157 Old 11-19-2009, 05:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jjnoho View Post
i was wondering if any of you had cvs/amnio thoughts or decisions?

how did those of you who made the decisions decide what to do?
Hi ... dropping in to give my two cents worth. First, congratulations on the pregnancy. So exciting!

We didn't do any tests. I was 33 at the time. If we have another child, I'll likely be 38 or so, and we'd still make the same decision not to test. Our reasoning was that the results are far from 100% accurate, and wouldn't have affected our decision to carry to term, which we were going to do no matter what. I would suggest thinking about how any potential results would affect your thinking, and then go from there.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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