December Queer Conceptions: My BFP would be the greatest gift this season! - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
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#181 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 01:21 PM
 
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Lyndsies, your chart still looks GREAT and I hope you get your BFP this cycle! When will you test again? I'm very sure I would have had a neg on 11dpo too.

Papa, I hope that your first IVF will be the end of your journey and result in a take home baby.

As for me, thanks for all the encouragement everyone. Yes, let's save the dancing veggies for after we get a couple of betas done (I'm trying to get my first today). I took two tests yesterday and the one you saw was a brand I've never heard of: St. Paul Biotech. I got them pretty cheap at my local co-op. The other I used, Answer Early Response was quite a bit lighter in spite of being proported to be about the same sensitivity as the other. So, who knows? I'll feel much better if the betas look good, but generally I'm pretty hopeful and trying not to worry. Worry doesn't help anything anyway! I'm still in shock at what has happened and it feels WAY too lucky and good to be true. We had to work so hard last time for a BFP.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#182 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 03:41 PM
 
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Beastie -

Papa - You need a spa day. Or a crazy trip somewhere that will keep you occupied. I really hope these next six weeks just fly for you!!!

Megan - I'm am just over the moon with happiness for you! Keep us posted on those betas. Keep in mind that if the first one is "high enough", they might not give you a second one since you haven't officially been declared infertile. That was the BS that my doctor at the time gave me when preg with DD. I went in because despite + preg tests, I was bleeding. They patted me on the head and took four days to return my phone calls to find out the blood test results. The stupid nurse just said, "yeah, you're pregnant", to which I said "I know that, what is my beta number?" "Your what?" "My HCG level?" "Oh...uh..." Needless to say, I found a new doctor. Hopefully this will NOT be your experience!!!

AFM - I have every classic symptom of early pregnancy except throwing up. I'm in bed by 8:30 at the latest and exhausted all day long, nauseated after eating, but HUNGRY soon after, eating constantly and gaining the weight to prove it , dull back pain which I attribute to the constipation I've had all week and my boobs are heavy and twingy.

How fun for me at 6 dpo when it's all just mind games.

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#183 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 04:26 PM
 
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Beastie: Thanks for the fertile thoughts. Take care of yourself and know there are many, many people wishing you well.

Papa: Your pups might not like it if you curled up in bed for two weeks (or they might, depending on how much they like sleeping on the bed). You can do this. Think of this as the calm before the IVF storm and enjoy the time off from being poked and prodded by people you've just met. I'm sure there's fun things to do and people who will distract you...

Megan: I'm squeeing on the inside for you. I can't wait to hear your beta results.

MKP: Well, that sounds just awesome. I've stopped thinking of them as symptoms and more as fun things my body is doing to try and drive me nuts. Cause at this point, I've had them all (well, not the throwing up, but I do everything in my power to avoid that anway), and not even a chem preg to show for it. But hopefully they mean good things for you.

AFM: Woke up to my mother's alarm at 7 this AM and had a momentary imagination that I was bleeding. Really didn't want to temp for fear that it would be down, but did anyway, and nope, up a bit again. Boobs are sore in a weird way and not all the time and felt tighter last night, feeling a bit queasy, and after I convinced myself I wasn't bleeding, I fell back asleep for another 3 hours. So I'm officially on the crazy train.

Of course, it's not helping that this is the last shot with our frozen sperm, which alternately means I'm sure it's not going to work and sure it has to work. Being me, I'd love to be able to start in on figuring out what we're doing next, but I don't want to jinx anything... Sigh.

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

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#184 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 06:18 PM
 
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Beastie - I'm glad you checked in, I've been thinking about you. I'm glad you seem to be on the road to recovery, and happy that you're taking the time you need to to deal w/ everything. I think a spring BFP sounds lovely. xoxo

Papa - I can understand why that all seems like it's taking so freaking long. Because in the TTC world, it is. 6 weeks is like 3 TWWs and we all know how long one of THOSE feels.

So, all I can offer is hang in there, and as others have said, know there's a ton of us rooting you on! Fantastic things are to come in 2010, I just KNOW it!

megan sacha - Remaining cautiously optimistic for you, am so glad things seem to have "worked" so quickly, and can't wait to find out what your beta(s) is/are!!!

mkpgoddess - Nothing like those mid-TWW "symptoms!" Lol. Seriously, though big-time , my dear!

katharinerose - the crazy train, huh? Well, I'm riding with you! I have definitely had those "wake up and feel like you're bleeding but not" moment! Freaky! Good to see that your temp is still up a bit! Also, I'm going to go all glass half full on you and say that it's GOT TO work since it's your last shot w/ frozen!!

AFM - The $tree by my house (not the crappy one by my work) had tests! So I could pee and not feel guilty about it! (lol, guilty pee'ing).

It was 3rd or 4th pee of the day w/ only a 3 hour hold by the time I got home from various meetings, etc., so I know that regardless of what's going on in my body, and compounded with the fact that - technically - it's still early, I shouldn't expect much. But c'mon, it was a DOLLAR! Lol.

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And the lovely Maeryn's from the TTC board tweak:
http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/e...ladies/l-1.jpg
(it's like... diagonal... so I dunno WTH is up w/ that).

I'll admit it. I'm getting antsy. I know pulling a line out of a photo w/ the computer doesn't necessarily indicate anything, but I am definitely obsessing and just wanting to KNOW at this point!

Hope everyone is having an okay day... I think of you all often!!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#185 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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Well, saw a tiny line this morning. It's light but it's there. And, it's actually 13dpo, not 12 like I wrote on there. Trying to stay cautiously optimistic until we can get some betas as the line is light on a sensitive test. here it is...
Congrats!!!!

2nd try was a charm! BFP EDD 10/17/10 Beta @ 12 dpo - 92 Beta @ 15 dpo - 902 - It's a GIRL - Olivia Grace 10/18/10 6lb 12 oz
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#186 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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Well, my beta today was 81 and my progesterone 23. So, they look good so far. My doc is great and has already called in my next beta for Friday, so luckily no troubles there. mkpgoddess, sounds like an awful experience trying to get your betas with DD!

My fingers are so crossed for you on the crazy train. Let's see some more BFPs here! Lyndzies, I can't tell if I see a line or not...I think so? What does it look like in person? Just remember, hcg in your blood would be quite a bit higher than in urine as it can take days to trickle (ha ha) down to the urine.

As for symptoms, I have felt pg on all but two days since I inseminated. Now, I know that's normal for ttcing and I don't have another wait to compare it to, but for me the symptoms were real. I know what you mean though about it messing with your mind as when we were ttc DS we thought it had worked just about each time. Such a mind fu*k.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#187 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 07:08 PM
 
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Lyndzies - I dunno. It really doesn't matter what the test says, right? You just have to focus on being pregnant.



I'm in a pit of despair right now. It's true, I need a break, and I will get a break, as of Friday by two or so PM I am done, done, done, for the holidays. Of course, I'm miserably behind on my work, and very stressed out, but I'm just working on getting through //this// week.

I'm rethinking my decision to transfer only one embryo. What do you guys think?

If I can only do this one IVF cycle between now and August, is it maybe a better idea to transfer two?

This is realistically the case, unless my insurance gets their act together, I can only beg/borrow/steal/credit card charge the meds for one cycle, and the meds for a frozen cycle are cheaper, but still more than I have.

You guys know me and my infertility woes the best, and you know I would rather have one baby, but if I can't have one, would I rather have no baby this year or have twins?

Obviously, the choice isn't really mine to make, but those are the risks and the odds.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#188 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 07:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow! So many people reaching excitement around here!

I've got my fingers crossed and big, huge hugs for everyone!!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#189 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 08:00 PM
 
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I'm in a pit of despair right now. It's true, I need a break, and I will get a break, as of Friday by two or so PM I am done, done, done, for the holidays. Of course, I'm miserably behind on my work, and very stressed out, but I'm just working on getting through //this// week.

I'm rethinking my decision to transfer only one embryo. What do you guys think?

If I can only do this one IVF cycle between now and August, is it maybe a better idea to transfer two?

This is realistically the case, unless my insurance gets their act together, I can only beg/borrow/steal/credit card charge the meds for one cycle, and the meds for a frozen cycle are cheaper, but still more than I have.

You guys know me and my infertility woes the best, and you know I would rather have one baby, but if I can't have one, would I rather have no baby this year or have twins?

Obviously, the choice isn't really mine to make, but those are the risks and the odds.
Oh, Papa, I'm so sorry about your emotional state right now. Grad school is tough enough on one's soul as it is (at least it was on mine!) and to add TTC for as long as you have is just adding to that heavy weight. All I can say is take care of yourself. I wish we were in the same part of the country, we could get together and wallow in despair together and at least I could assure you that life gets way better after the phd!

That said, I would go for two eggs. Personally. I know you wrote before about some qualms with selectively reducing. But if you can stomach that I would go for two (if your doc would be on board). Given the short supply of money and that you can only try once I would maximize my chances. And quite frankly, even with one transfer, from what I have read the chances of twins are decent so I'm not sure that is what should dissuade you from implanting two *if* you can stomach the idea of eliminating some if it comes to that.

At least, that's my thinking on the whole issues given that I'll probably start IVF this march (and be paying for *all* of it myself) so I totally understand the financial concern.

Hang in there.

Professional nerd, DP to Megan and mommy to 3 y/o Bam Bam . TTC since January '09.  Welcomed our new babes May 22, 2011. Now living life in the NICU one day at a time.
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#190 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 08:05 PM
 
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Papa: If it were me, I'd transfer two, assuming you wind up with more than 2 embryos. I wouldn't want to do more than that, but knowing people with twins, it's a chance I'd have no problem taking. But I also would like to eventually have at least two kiddos in my family. It seems like, assuming you have a good support structure, twins are not that much more difficult than solos, and possibly easier than two at different times.

That said, if there were only 2 viable embryos, I'd only implant one now, just in case. Better to know that there is one "on ice" in case this cycle doesn't take, and have the possibility of a sibling should you want that in the future.

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

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#191 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 08:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Papa, would you be able to do a second transfer cycle later if you were to have more than one embryo? If you don't plan on doing another cycle, then I would say go for two this time. No reason to have a stored one if you aren't going to use it, right?
Coming from a family of two nannies who took care of nothing but sets of twins for six years... twins aren't that bad! Really! They're hard, and exhausting, and funny, and bonded, and special in many, many ways! Massachusetts has the highest rate of twins in the country, so it's not like you'd be somewhere where a twin pregnancy would automatically make people freak out.
Given the option of no baby or two babies? I would say go for two babies. It is a hard, hard choice, that's for sure.


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#192 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Megan! Yowsa! Awesome!
Let us know when to get out the celebratory everything!

(and let me know when you're ready to be moved to the graduates area!!)

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#193 of 307 Old 12-16-2009, 09:01 PM
 
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Lyndzies - I dunno. It really doesn't matter what the test says, right? You just have to focus on being pregnant.



I'm in a pit of despair right now. It's true, I need a break, and I will get a break, as of Friday by two or so PM I am done, done, done, for the holidays. Of course, I'm miserably behind on my work, and very stressed out, but I'm just working on getting through //this// week.

I'm rethinking my decision to transfer only one embryo. What do you guys think?

If I can only do this one IVF cycle between now and August, is it maybe a better idea to transfer two?

This is realistically the case, unless my insurance gets their act together, I can only beg/borrow/steal/credit card charge the meds for one cycle, and the meds for a frozen cycle are cheaper, but still more than I have.

You guys know me and my infertility woes the best, and you know I would rather have one baby, but if I can't have one, would I rather have no baby this year or have twins?

Obviously, the choice isn't really mine to make, but those are the risks and the odds.
This seems to be the unpopular vote, but IF I were you (which I'm not!) I'd transfer only one. As a postpartum doula who specialized in working with parents of twins, I have seen how incredibly difficult it can be to care for newborn and infant twins. It is not impossible, and I have no doubt you'd all survive- but being a single parent with two babies is very difficult. It raises your risk of postpartum depression, your sleep deprivation level will likely be out of control (read: 1-3 hours of sleep per day) while you are simultaneously learning how to parent and trying to recover from your birth- and a cesarean is more likely if you have twins. I've seen some pretty ugly situations and worst case scenario, sleep deprivation or PPD can cause things to get dangerous. I am not trying to scare you away from doing whatever you feel is right, but do know that taking on multiples as a single parent is a huge task. I would personally not be willing to increase my chances of multiples. Then again... transfering two embryos would increase your chances of conceiving at all... So, obviously- it's still up to you. Good luck!

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#194 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 02:04 AM
 
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I mostly lurk but wanted to add a something about the discussion on the number of embryos to transfer. There was an article in the NYT about the consequences of twins, including premature infants and NICU stays, that I thought was really good: click here. It's good reading for the decision making process.

I also want to add that the IVF process is more successful than it used to be making the transfer of two embryos less necessary, AND the fertility industry has a lot invested in keeping their numbers up, meaning they may be transferring two embryos more often than is really necessary.

Absolute best of luck Papa.

Me: almost 40, RN DW: 38, CPD Boy: born 4/2/2007 Girl: born 8/23/2010
Queer Parenting since 2007
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#195 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 12:57 PM
 
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Papa - I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'd go with one. Wow. I hate saying that. It goes against everything I'd normally think... but putting myself in your shoes, and knowing what you've told us...

yeah, I think I'd go with one.

AFMHere are this morning's if you care to obsess w/ me. I wish I could stop the crazies, but I've given in. It's just impossible to resist at 13dpo w/ a chart like mine.


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#196 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 01:24 PM
 
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Lyndzies, ACK, your chart is so freaking amazing but I don't see a line yet. Where is it hiding?

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#197 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 01:55 PM
 
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Lyndzies - I'm with Megan, what is going on?!

Threw up at 2:45 am....ugh. DW woke up at 5:15 for work and I begged for half a slice of bread to chill out the stomach acid. My luck it's some strain of flu and I just got everyone sick yesterday...:sigh:

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#198 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 02:29 PM
 
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Lyndzies - just had to drop in and see how things were coming along... UGGG frustration. I am hoping that you get that elusive line tomorrow.

Papa - I am really sorry that you are having so many troubles. I hope that things lighten up for you soon s

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#199 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 03:41 PM
 
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Ugh, I KNOW, you guys. I don't know WTH is up. Maybe I didn't O till CD20? I don't even know right now. My temps are so high, even if I had O'ed on CD20 they'd still be high (I did an overlay to check).

But, if I DID O on CD20.... it probably would have been too late for even the strongest of girl sperm to survive.

Oh, why am I insisting on going to this "maybe I didn't O when FF says I did" place.

This is so maddening.

Sorry for the venting...

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#200 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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Ugh, I KNOW, you guys. I don't know WTH is up. Maybe I didn't O till CD20? I don't even know right now. My temps are so high, even if I had O'ed on CD20 they'd still be high (I did an overlay to check).

But, if I DID O on CD20.... it probably would have been too late for even the strongest of girl sperm to survive.

Oh, why am I insisting on going to this "maybe I didn't O when FF says I did" place.

This is so maddening.

Sorry for the venting...
I think you probably did O when FF said you did based on your temps. Did you do any OPKs this cycle to double check? And, it's certainly possible that you are pg and just aren't getting a positive yet. What test are you using and do you know how sensitive it is supposed to be? At 13dpo the line on one of the two tests I took was hardly visible. Maybe try another brand or just wait another day? Some women get a positive more easily at night I've heard, though it doesn't make a lot of sense. Hang in there!

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#201 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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I think you probably did O when FF said you did based on your temps. Did you do any OPKs this cycle to double check? And, it's certainly possible that you are pg and just aren't getting a positive yet. What test are you using and do you know how sensitive it is supposed to be? At 13dpo the line on one of the two tests I took was hardly visible. Maybe try another brand or just wait another day? Some women get a positive more easily at night I've heard, though it doesn't make a lot of sense. Hang in there!
No OPKs this cycle and I am kicking myself in the a$$ because of it. But CP and temps (and my history) seem to indicate O on CD16.... I'm just doubting everything right now. Bleh.

I used a FRER on 11dpo (afternoon) and have used two $trees (one yesterday PM, and one this AM).

With my early m/c I did get stronger lines in the PM, so maybe that's just my deal. Also only was getting very faint lines at 13dpo... sigh. I guess there is absolutely nothing to do but wait.

And pee.

ETA: well, here's the latest and greatest for this PM. This is getting ridiculous, I know. I'm so sorry if this is f'ing obnoxious. If it is, tell me. I'll stop. I just can't fight the obsession right now. It's taking over and I've gotten NOTHING done today. *thumbs down*

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I'm still calling them evaps for now. Planning to POA FRER tomorrow (if temp doesn't plummet or something horrible like that). xoxo

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#202 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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Lyndzies, I see the line now! And it looks pink on my screen! Did it come up within 10 minutes? If not, it's NOT an evap.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#203 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 09:23 PM
 
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Lyndzies - SQUEEEE!!!!! I totally see a line. And you know I'm a skeptic after all this time.

FMU tomorrow AM, report back stat! I won't see the message 'til later, tomorrow is crazy for me, but I'll be thinking of you.

Also, FRER ....whatever. I'm not impressed, personally. I say if you get a good strong line tomorrow morning on a $Tree or a FRER, then go get a digital. Do the Papa - keep the pee and dip it!

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#204 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh how exciting Lyndzies! I think I see a line as well!

I'm going to have to disagree with Papa though, I think you should wait til later in the day tomorrow. FMU meant NOTHING for us. later in the day was a much darker line!

Fingers crossed!!!!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#205 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 10:47 PM
 
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Lyndzies -- I see the line without all the fancy tweaking. It certainly looks pink!

I agree about $ tree over FRER. I think FRER are way overrated. If you get another pos, try the digi, or trust the pos, or just keep POAS day after day.

This is looking GOOD!!!!!!

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#206 of 307 Old 12-17-2009, 10:55 PM
 
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i see a line before all the photoshopping. fx that it gets darker tomorrow!!!

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#207 of 307 Old 12-18-2009, 01:52 AM
 
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Yep, Lyndzies, that is looking line-like to me, too! Can't wait for tomorrow's results!!!


AFM: I just had to pee three times in less than three hours. And it feels like someone is poking my uterus from the inside. And my mouth tastes like I'm sucking on a fork. FF has my test date on Sunday, at 12 DPO. I don't know if I can wait that long.

Living with my DW, ourcat.gifAstrid, my mom and dad, and their dog and cats, too.  Hoping to start TTC with my OSO as baby-daddy soonish!

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#208 of 307 Old 12-18-2009, 02:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by osker View Post
I'm going to have to disagree with Papa though, I think you should wait til later in the day tomorrow. FMU meant NOTHING for us. later in the day was a much darker line!
We're not in disagreement! I say, do both! Pee early and late!

KatharineRose..Friday is the same as Sunday, isn't it? PEE ON SOMETHING!

C'mon people, pee on things! I got nothing to pee on, I must live vicariously through you. Don't diappoint me.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#209 of 307 Old 12-18-2009, 11:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katharinerose View Post
AFM: I just had to pee three times in less than three hours. And it feels like someone is poking my uterus from the inside. And my mouth tastes like I'm sucking on a fork. FF has my test date on Sunday, at 12 DPO. I don't know if I can wait that long.
EEEEEEE! I hope this is a very good sign for you!!!!!! Do you think you're going to make it till Sunday???? I (obviously) wouldn't be able to!

AFM - Thanks to everyone for the positive feedback (lol, no pun intended!)

This morning I tested w/ a FRER and $tree, and only got a "super faint maybe something" (but it is pinkish) line on the $tree (lighter than PM testing yesterday) and MAAAAYBE the thinnest of thin lines on a FRER. But I'm not even sure. I don't want to keep posting tests everywhere, so if you'd like to look at what's making me crazy, they're over there in Obsess and Test in the TTC forum.

I am very much starting to think FMU and FRER are way over rated!

HOWEVER, in more HOPEFUL news, my temp is up again!!! It's never been this high before. Oh, and I have one sore bb (weird!!) and woke up shortly after falling asleep thinking I was going to puke.

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#210 of 307 Old 12-18-2009, 12:57 PM
 
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Lyndzies - I, for one, can't figure out where else (or when else?) you could have ovulated. I know the thought is maybe CD 20, but the temps around it just don't really support that idea. To me, it's either a question of CD 15 or 16, both of which work out and are moot at this point. I see the line on the $tree! Pee tonight?? If you make it to Monday, go for a blood test?

Katharinerose - girl....LOL! Very, very promising signs - keep us posted!!

AFM -

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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