Queer & Pregnant: Dec '09, Jan & Feb '10 - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-06-2010, 01:03 AM
 
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Well, we're back from the NT scan and little bean was measuring exactly on track and waved at us right away and I cried right away of course. Now I REALLY feel pregnant. I can't tell you how relieved I am.

The NT was 1.3 which sounded good so far and crl was 44mm.

Here's a pic: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e1...ebean11w2d.jpg

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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Old 02-06-2010, 10:00 AM
 
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such great news megan and what a cute u/s picture! yay!

g

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Old 02-06-2010, 12:05 PM
 
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Megan Sacha

YAY!!!!!

I wasn't going to have that test, since it has to be done at a hospital I want nothing to do with, or I have to drive somewhere far to do it. But your babe looks so cute, I might have to get it done anyway!

for everything looking good and healthy! How many weeks are you?


Is it weird that I had pretty much the most interventionist conception, and I would have an u/s every day if I could, but I want a no-intervention birth?

I had my first pre-OB appointment yesterday, with one of the hospital birth centers I'm shopping.

The place is kind of far from my house, but I know two people who have delivered there and loved it, and their partners loved it, and they're both queer families.

Except that they are so medically minded! I had my appt with a nurse, not a midwife, and she made me prove I'm pregnant, insisted I get bloodwork done for a whole OB panel, even though I already had all those tests in Sept/Oct/Nov this year, so the only one that was worth repeating was the CBC, Complete Blood Count, because it changes in pregnancy, but I went along with it.

Last, she gave me a heads up that they didn't want to do a pap then because I just had spotting over the weekend and I "wasn't out of the woods" but that they would want one at my next 10 week appointment. I had records from my last (normal) pap in Sept, and the (normal) one before that a year previous, so I gave her those records and asked her to put a note in my chart that I had already declined the pap and hoped it wouldn't be brought up again.

They also had a tonne of restrictions on visitors due to H1N1 and the flu season, so so much for homey. I don't know if those rules would still be in effect in October, but I don't like the possibility of not being allowed anyone to attend the birth because they're not "family" legally, and being denied visitors post-partum because they're not "family."

So, uh, yeah, I don't think so.

They did do another quant HCG, which I'm fine with, more than fine. If I could have a quant HCG every day, it would make me happy, so I should get those results on Monday. Just for kicks, maybe I'll ask for a repeat then so we can check the doubling rate.

My next midwife shopping happens on the 25th, when I'll be eight weeks, so hopefully they'll work out better. They seem more homey, their office is in a little house beside the hospital, though the births happen at the hospital, in the birthing center there.

I still want my home birth, but I don't know if I can do it yet, I haven't heard back from the midwives I called last week, but I'm hoping to meet with them soon.

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Old 02-06-2010, 12:44 PM
 
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My next midwife shopping happens on the 25th, when I'll be eight weeks, so hopefully they'll work out better. They seem more homey, their office is in a little house beside the hospital, though the births happen at the hospital, in the birthing center there.

I still want my home birth, but I don't know if I can do it yet, I haven't heard back from the midwives I called last week, but I'm hoping to meet with them soon.
Good luck with the midwife search! Are there many in your area? Are there any particular reasons why you think you may not be able to HB?
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Old 02-06-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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Megan Sacha

YAY!!!!!

I wasn't going to have that test, since it has to be done at a hospital I want nothing to do with, or I have to drive somewhere far to do it. But your babe looks so cute, I might have to get it done anyway!

for everything looking good and healthy! How many weeks are you?


Is it weird that I had pretty much the most interventionist conception, and I would have an u/s every day if I could, but I want a no-intervention birth?

I had my first pre-OB appointment yesterday, with one of the hospital birth centers I'm shopping.

The place is kind of far from my house, but I know two people who have delivered there and loved it, and their partners loved it, and they're both queer families.

Except that they are so medically minded! I had my appt with a nurse, not a midwife, and she made me prove I'm pregnant, insisted I get bloodwork done for a whole OB panel, even though I already had all those tests in Sept/Oct/Nov this year, so the only one that was worth repeating was the CBC, Complete Blood Count, because it changes in pregnancy, but I went along with it.

Last, she gave me a heads up that they didn't want to do a pap then because I just had spotting over the weekend and I "wasn't out of the woods" but that they would want one at my next 10 week appointment. I had records from my last (normal) pap in Sept, and the (normal) one before that a year previous, so I gave her those records and asked her to put a note in my chart that I had already declined the pap and hoped it wouldn't be brought up again.

They also had a tonne of restrictions on visitors due to H1N1 and the flu season, so so much for homey. I don't know if those rules would still be in effect in October, but I don't like the possibility of not being allowed anyone to attend the birth because they're not "family" legally, and being denied visitors post-partum because they're not "family."

So, uh, yeah, I don't think so.

They did do another quant HCG, which I'm fine with, more than fine. If I could have a quant HCG every day, it would make me happy, so I should get those results on Monday. Just for kicks, maybe I'll ask for a repeat then so we can check the doubling rate.

My next midwife shopping happens on the 25th, when I'll be eight weeks, so hopefully they'll work out better. They seem more homey, their office is in a little house beside the hospital, though the births happen at the hospital, in the birthing center there.

I still want my home birth, but I don't know if I can do it yet, I haven't heard back from the midwives I called last week, but I'm hoping to meet with them soon.
I was 11w2d yesterday at the scan and it was so AWESOME! With our first DS the first u/s we had was at 9w4d and he was a bit more tadpole like. This one looking like a fully developed baby and was dancing, stretching, waving, kicking, etc. So very fun.

I'm still waiting on the blood work that goes with the NT scan but I have no reason to worry and if something comes up later we'll deal with it. But, I was just so happy to have a live baby and the nuchal measurement was just great alone.

Papa, why are you not sure you can do a homebirth at this point? It sounds like the place you visited may not be the best fit for you, even if they are queer friendly. Hopefully the midwife at 8 weeks will be more up your alley.

As for hospital visitors and H1N1, most of the hospitals here currently have a policy of 1-2 people in a birth suite as support. I don't think any of them are differentiating if they are "family" or not, but very limited. It's been a real issue that I've heard about in the doula community because lots of patients want maybe their mom, spouse and a doula, etc. Also, it seems the individual nurses have some leeway to "look the other way" but it's so silly really. They should just keep people out with any ill symptoms. Hard to know what will happen with H1N1, but if it's active again next fall, Oct could be a heightened time. That's when it has been the worst so far this year.

I also wanted to add that today we're planning to tell DW's parents/brother about the pregnancy. We've put it off since our relationship with them has deteriorated significantly since DS was born and we didn't want to tell them until we were further along...didn't want their "support" or judgement earlier when things felt dicier.

So, I'm a bit nervous about their reaction and hoping it goes ok. (Could be why I've been up since 5:45 and the rest of the family is still sleeping...that and I was HUNGRY!) With DS they were the first to know, immediately after the BFP and they could be hurt we didn't tell earlier as well as being whatever else they may be. Wish us good luck this morning please!

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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Old 02-06-2010, 12:50 PM
 
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Megan -- great u/s news and super cute pic! It's amazing how truly "baby" these little ones look even so early on.

Papa -- we are right there with you -- pull out every intervention to get pregnant but then wanting totally non-interventionist birth. We're definitely lucky to be able to go to the same midwifery practice at a local birth center as where Q was born. That takes the whole care provider search away, which is a huge relief. Big thumbs down to the nurse you saw yesterday -- oy, the hoops!

be well all,
megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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Old 02-06-2010, 01:16 PM
 
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Megin - can you tell me what to expect from Ye Olde Clinic?

I'm going for my 6w u/s on Thursday, I'll be 6w2d, and I'm supposed to stay on the progesterone until 8-10 weeks, don't know which yet, but I'm not sure what else they're planning to do past the u/s.

The doc kind of hemmed and hawed when I asked, he was kind of like "Well, let's focus on getting the u/s results and then we'll talk about it." I guess it will depend on what the u/s shows...but I kind of wanted to know what it would be like if everything is normal.

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Old 02-06-2010, 01:58 PM
 
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Megin - can you tell me what to expect from Ye Olde Clinic?

I'm going for my 6w u/s on Thursday, I'll be 6w2d, and I'm supposed to stay on the progesterone until 8-10 weeks, don't know which yet, but I'm not sure what else they're planning to do past the u/s.

The doc kind of hemmed and hawed when I asked, he was kind of like "Well, let's focus on getting the u/s results and then we'll talk about it." I guess it will depend on what the u/s shows...but I kind of wanted to know what it would be like if everything is normal.
Here's how it went for us:

Our ultrasound was at 7w. We saw the bean, saw the heartbeat, then met with the nurse practitioner who works at our location. She said everything looked great, went over some of Katie's earlier bloodwork, emphasized that when we went to our regular ob/midwifery practice they should NOT repeat any of that huge battery of tests she'd undergone so recently. She talked to us about early risk assessment. We were 99% certain we didn't want to do it, but had had never really gotten the details, so listened politely. The assessment wouldn't have been through them, though, no matter. It was mostly in answer to our "what's next?" question. Beyond that, she then told us she could "dismiss" us to our midwife or we could come back for one more ultrasound just to check things out once more -- totally our choice. We opted to go back 3 weeks later (it was supposed to only be 2), just because of all of our early losses. At that point we had the ultrasound, met with the same np, she said, "A+, you're good to go!" and we left. So, there really wasn't much beyond the ultrasound and the general "be healthy during your pregnancy chat." I could imagine that it might have been slightly different were there two in there, but not necessarily even then. Katie was taken off the progesterone at the 7 week appt, but she didn't have any early progesterone issues or anything (prior to pregnancy).

Definitely let me know if you want more details. Now we're nicely ensconced in the land of the midwives!

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Old 02-06-2010, 02:59 PM
 
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Megan - YAY that your NT scan went so well!!!! That's AWESOME! Now it's time to enjoy being preggo

Papa - finding the right provider is such a PITA. The one time that you get sort of excited to have some kind of professional looking after you, and it can be really tough to find someone you like. We're kind of in limbo with a midwife attached to the main hospital, a high risk doc waiting in the wings and a birth center birth midwife waiting patiently for us to figure out what's going on. So much for having continuous care under one person...BUT, having babbled about all that, once you find the right doctor/midwife, it can be really awesome.

AFM - My three year old has morphed into demon child. I have no idea if it's because I'm mostly out of commission/pregnant or if this is the typical difficult three's, but having just survived the terrible two's, this is definitely NOT fun.

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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Old 02-06-2010, 05:10 PM
 
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megan, good luck with the telling to your in-laws. for similar reasons we didn't call my parents with the news about dp, just emailed them. and really didn't talk much about it at all during her pregnancy...of course they do live in scotland! turns out they were actually excited about it but we didn't find out until 2 days before our wee man was born when i called home for my dad's birthday. to say we were shocked (and happy) is a complete understatement. i hope you get an equally good reaction!

g

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Old 02-06-2010, 07:17 PM
 
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Megan,
Yay for the ultra sound! Good luck telling your in-laws! I hope it goes/went well.

Papa,
The hospital where I am giving birth has an H1N1 restriction - no visitors under age 18. But my midwife assures me that by May/June the ban will be lifted. And it damn well better since that would me DS would not be able to come to the hospital. If it isn't I'll be seeking discharge ASAP.

Eryn, wife to Amy, Mum to Eli, b. 1/9/08 and Willow, b. 5/29/10
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Old 02-09-2010, 12:57 AM
 
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Beta # 4 came back today: 6,816 on Friday.

The doubling rate has slowed, as it should, to the low fifties, which is normal.

I'm waiting for my ultrasound on Thursday. So far, nothing big to report, ongoing tiny cramps, a little bit of queasiness, some food pickiness, but really, nothing big. Most delicious food is still delicious, it's the borderline Ok stuff that is inedible.

And I'm exhausted.

How is everyone else doing?

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Old 02-09-2010, 03:38 AM
 
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Beta # 4 came back today: 6,816 on Friday.

The doubling rate has slowed, as it should, to the low fifties, which is normal.

I'm waiting for my ultrasound on Thursday. So far, nothing big to report, ongoing tiny cramps, a little bit of queasiness, some food pickiness, but really, nothing big. Most delicious food is still delicious, it's the borderline Ok stuff that is inedible.

And I'm exhausted.

How is everyone else doing?
That's how I've been with food too. I haven't had any really weird aversions except that chocolate isn't all that exciting to me when I normally LOVE it. But mostly the food I have aversions too is food I was already on the fence about before. And I have had some very strong cravings, like I think of something I want and I MUST eat it immediately!! It's really quite funny.

How far along are you now Papa? Good luck on your u/s Thursday.

AFM, we heard the baby's heartbeat on the doppler for the first time today at my prenatal. Such a good sound to hear and I'm so excited I'll get to hear it once a month now. Still waiting for the blood results of my nt scan which will be back Friday or next Monday. I had some awful round ligament pain yesterday after a particularly forceful sneeze. Ouch! And, today while at Costco my uterus was hurting so bad it hurt to walk for about 10 minutes. It felt like major stretching, which I haven't felt up until now. Before now uterine discomfort felt like AF cramps.

We announced on facebook (aka the world) our news this weekend which was fun and kind of scary at the same time.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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Old 02-09-2010, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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sounds like everyone is getting good news and doing well, so i thought i would add to that...

we are thrilled that our amnio results came back normal and confirmed that it is in fact a boy. that takes a lot of anxiety off my mind.

now dw and i get to enjoy feeling him kick up a storm. i am surprised that she can feel his moves already! it's a weird but lovely feeling

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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Old 02-09-2010, 06:51 PM
 
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Congrats on a boy...boys are wonderful! Is that what you were hoping for? And yay for a negative amnio.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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Old 02-09-2010, 08:23 PM
 
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jj - whew! So good to hear!
Did you have to go to Springfield for that, or did they do it here at C-D?


AFM - Six weeks today! Ultrasound Thursday, in the meantime, protein and napping.

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Old 02-09-2010, 08:46 PM
 
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JJ- that's great! I'm so glad to hear about your ultrasound!

AFU: I'm getting so antsy to tell "the world" on facebook!!! I've let the news slide to a few people, and we were waiting on a Feb 3rd deadline with my work/school people for a variety of reasons... now we've decided to do pregnancy announcements for family members who are old school and not on facebook... they shipped to us yesterday and we'll get them addressed and sent out this weekend... and then by the next weekend hopefully I'll get to announce on fb! It's not that I'm overly needing to announce, it's just that I've snuck and told ... well.. several people now... and I'm worried someone will slip and accidently let the world know for us!
H is feeling infinitely better now that we're at about 13 weeks. She can stay up til nearly 10 at night , and seems to have food phases (right now we're in the spaghetti phase... every night! ) but not as many aversions anymore. All in all, very wonderful!

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Old 02-10-2010, 01:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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jj - whew! So good to hear!
Did you have to go to Springfield for that, or did they do it here at C-D?


AFM - Six weeks today! Ultrasound Thursday, in the meantime, protein and napping.
we had to go to springfield for the level 2 ultrasound, genetic counseling, and amnio. likely have to follow up with them regarding the cleft issues as well although more likely we will go to children's hospital in boston for the actual surgery/surgeries.

good luck with the ultrasound - i just love seeing that little heart beat

have you gone to that little house by the hospital yet? that is where we go and have been very happy. j is our favorite - she is just lovely. interested in your thoughts/reactions to your visit.

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Old 02-10-2010, 04:32 PM
 
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we had to go to springfield for the level 2 ultrasound, genetic counseling, and amnio. likely have to follow up with them regarding the cleft issues as well although more likely we will go to children's hospital in boston for the actual surgery/surgeries.

good luck with the ultrasound - i just love seeing that little heart beat

have you gone to that little house by the hospital yet? that is where we go and have been very happy. j is our favorite - she is just lovely. interested in your thoughts/reactions to your visit.
I am completely biased, but go to Boston if you can. I know it's further, but I have been treated so poorly by S'field, I can't in good conscience encourage anyone to go there.

Incidentally, I've known many a kid born with cleft palate, for most it was no big deal with appropriate medical treatment. I'm sure your little guy will be just fine!

I haven't been to the little house yet, I have an appointment there in a couple of weeks. It had better go better than the one I had in G'Field. I wasn't impressed with the care they offered there, though I haven't actually met the midwives (yet).

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Old 02-10-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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I am completely biased, but go to Boston if you can. I know it's further, but I have been treated so poorly by S'field, I can't in good conscience encourage anyone to go there.
At this point, even if one of our kids broke a bone or something, if I felt like we had two hours (i.e. it wasn't a more time sensitive emergency), I would absolutely drive to Boston Children's. We had awful experiences at both of the closer hospitals when Zeben was a baby (with breathing issues), and it was 1,000 times better in Boston once we finally transferred our care there. It's really not even comparable. For surgery of any kind, I wouldn't even consider going to one of the closer hospitals (unless, like I said, it was an incredibly time-sensitive emergency).

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I haven't been to the little house yet, I have an appointment there in a couple of weeks. It had better go better than the one I had in G'Field. I wasn't impressed with the care they offered there, though I haven't actually met the midwives (yet).
I will be really curious to hear how this goes. I'm not sure how much experience (if any) that practice has had with pregnant Papas. I hope that they are nothing but welcoming and educated. Unfortunately, I think the hospital's climate is not necessarily in alignment with the climate in the little house next door (L&D nurses make up so much of the experience during the actual birth), but I think that this is slowly changing. Of the three area hospitals, G'field has the most baby-friendly reputation, followed by H'yoke. I think N'hampton and Sp'field are pretty equal (though I recently heard that they no longer suction babies immediately at Sp'field, not sure about N'hampton). We had a terrible time in N'hampton 7 years ago (next week!), and a drastically better time in H'yoke 3 years ago (c-sections both times, but completely different attitudes from the nurses that makes it hard to even compare the two experiences).

Can't wait to hear about the u/s tomorrow! I hope the "snow" doesn't interfere!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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Old 02-10-2010, 09:36 PM
 
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Well, my first choice is a homebirth, but there's the money issue. I had it on good authority that there were ways to get my insurance to cover most of it, but the homebirth midwives I called haven't called me back (yet). This might be because everyone around here is having babies, it might be the papa issue, but I don't know.

I do know that I want to have midwifery care in place at a hospital so that I can start a relationship with them, and get all the tests that hospital people want, in case of a transfer. I just want to know that I do or don't have to worry.

Our local hospital has so far been great on trans stuff. Much better than anywhere else, as was G'field. I'm ok with welcoming and eager and not overly educated, I would take that over unwelcoming and displeased and not willing to be educated any day, and that was my experience at s'field.

I really think things at the hospital here in town are changing, they seem to at least want to portray that they are. It must be humiliating for them to know that so many people were driving 40 minutes into the boondocks to have babies at a tiny little rural hospital, you know?


I can't believe this "snow" we're having! Even my university was closed! That never happens, and I really don't understand what all the fuss was about, we got about 17 flakes by my count. I will be really sad if there's too much snow to drive tomorrow, in which case, I will get them to schedule it here in town ASAP.

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Old 02-11-2010, 11:16 AM
 
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good luck with your u/s today papa!!!!!!

g

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Old 02-11-2010, 12:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[QUOTE=FtMPapa;15052691]I am completely biased, but go to Boston if you can. I know it's further, but I have been treated so poorly by S'field, I can't in good conscience encourage anyone to go there.

Incidentally, I've known many a kid born with cleft palate, for most it was no big deal with appropriate medical treatment. I'm sure your little guy will be just fine![QUOTE]

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Originally Posted by lexbeach View Post
At this point, even if one of our kids broke a bone or something, if I felt like we had two hours (i.e. it wasn't a more time sensitive emergency), I would absolutely drive to Boston Children's. We had awful experiences at both of the closer hospitals when Zeben was a baby (with breathing issues), and it was 1,000 times better in Boston once we finally transferred our care there. It's really not even comparable. For surgery of any kind, I wouldn't even consider going to one of the closer hospitals (unless, like I said, it was an incredibly time-sensitive emergency).
i hear both of you on this point! dw refers to me as a 'medical snob' because she has strict orders to take me to boston if i were to have any sort of medical emergency and NEVER leave me in wmass for care. we had to go to spfld for the genetic stuff but have no desire to have any follow up care there. fortunately dw chose a great insurance plan through work so we can actually go anywhere in the country for care without need for authorization.

the surgery will definitely be in boston - i have heard great things about the surgeon who does clefts at children's. we were considering consultations with lactation consultants, etc since he is going to have feeding problems from birth because of the cleft and we want to make sure we are well prepared for that.

do you know of any lactation specialists in the area who might be able to help? our midwife at our last appointment didn't seem too confident with the hospital resources since they see clefts so rarely.

the more information the better for me right now so that i feel like we have all bases covered for when he arrives. it is disappointing to think i may not be able to breastfeed if he has a cleft palate as well as his lip but at least he can get breastmilk. we won't know that until birth i guess so best to have all the information just in case and we don't have to fumble around right after.

what happened to the snow storm? glad everything was closed - except for me since i am self employed! i'm sure the weather won't interfere with the u/s trip papa - look forward to hearing results!

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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Old 02-11-2010, 01:28 PM
 
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jjnoho - I hope Lex has some breastfeeding hookups for you! I wonder if it's worth it to see the LC in S'field?

Surely the LC at C-D would be able to do some research for you....isn't that their job? To be helpful and to learn stuff?

How hard breastfeeding will be will also depend on the severity of the cleft.


I saw the heartbeat!!!!

Only one little heart, beating away, at 119 BPM.

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Old 02-11-2010, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
I saw the heartbeat!!!!

Only one little heart, beating away, at 119 BPM.
excellent news papa!!

i never get sick of seeing that

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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Old 02-11-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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Great news, Papa!!

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Old 02-11-2010, 02:15 PM
 
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Awww!! Congrats, Papa! Isn't that little heartbeat the most wonderful thing ever?

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Old 02-11-2010, 04:45 PM
 
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congrats papa!!!!! it's the most amazing sight!

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Old 02-11-2010, 05:02 PM
 
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it is disappointing to think i may not be able to breastfeed if he has a cleft palate as well as his lip but at least he can get breastmilk. we won't know that until birth i guess so best to have all the information just in case and we don't have to fumble around right after.

what happened to the snow storm? glad everything was closed - except for me since i am self employed! i'm sure the weather won't interfere with the u/s trip papa - look forward to hearing results!
My wife's cousin had a baby with a cleft palate and he was not able to breastfeed but she was a diligent pumper for the first 6 months. I just wanted to point out that even if BFing doesn't end up being possible initially, don't give up as it may be possible after the surgery. Babies can learn to BF later in life if it's important enough to you to work on it.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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Old 02-11-2010, 05:04 PM
 
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Papa, I'm so happy for you! Are you relieved that there was only one babe? I sure was and I didn't even have much of an increased risk!

Yay for sticky babes.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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