Queer & Pregnant: Dec '09, Jan & Feb '10 - Page 13 - Mothering Forums
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#361 of 402 Old 02-16-2010, 10:32 PM
 
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Yay, Monarch!

They may just do a qualitative blood test, which means they test for hcG and if it's higher than five, it's a positive.

You could lie and say you've had some spotting and you want to make sure everything is Ok, that might convince them to do a beta and a follow-up 48 or 72 hours later, and a progesterone test. If you go this route, be strong and remember that anything they tell you will be fear-inducing. You could also just tell them you've had a previous loss and you'd really like the betas for confirmation that everything is Ok.

I've had four betas, any excuse I could get, I had one, and then I had the ultrasound, and now I feel SO MUCH better...but now I want another ultrasound! :-D

You can get an early ultrasound if you tell them you're not sure of your dates, too...you want it some time after 6 wks (4 weeks after O) because that's when you can see the heartbeat.

You only have to worry about blood type if you're a negative type, which is a minority of the population, and it can wait until your first prenatal appointment...I think. But get them to run your type and Rh factor if they will.

I hear Kaiser is HORRIBLE...Lyndzies...didn't you deal with them? GOOD LUCK!!!!


AFM - oh, the tired. Still so tired, always so sleepy. I'm more awake in the evenings if I have a nap all afternoon, but I'm best from 6-8 AM...not convenient!!!!

I'm trying to up my water consumption, that's supposed to help. And I'm eating more protein. I got home around 2:15 today, had a tuna salad sandwich while making harboiled eggs, then I slept 'til 6 or so, had two eggs, and now I'm ready for dinner...which I think might be a peanut butter sandwich, except I'm sad that I only have frozen bananas, which don't make good sandwiches!

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#362 of 402 Old 02-16-2010, 10:41 PM
 
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Thanks for the info Papa! My brother was A neg so I'd like to find out just because. Luckily I'm planning a homebirth so I'm only dealing with Kaiser for an ultrasound or two. My OB is actually cool and is excited for our homebirth plan. She knows I won't be going in for many prenatals. Sorry you're so tired. Hopefully the water will help.

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#363 of 402 Old 02-16-2010, 11:05 PM
 
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Monarchgrrl, Quasar and Mistral - SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I am SO thrilled to see you guys!!!!! YAY!!!!

Monarchgrrl - I'm the one with Kaiser, and so I can "warn" you ahead of time of anything you need to know. They will not do any kind of blood test before you officially do the pee test, even if you are spotting. If you pass the pee test (this is debatable because some pass and most don't, no matter how far along you are), they still won't do a blood test until after to attend a "class" that is mostly a hodgepodge of confusing information and filling out a bunch of paperwork. Once they do the blood test, it's generally a "yes" or "no" qualitative, not a quantitative, which is FRUSTRATING if you want a beta. They'll also do a full blood panel and may or may not make you test for gestational diabetes. You may need to push for the blood typing and antibodies tests. Frankly, I cried after my first handful of appts. The only good thing about them is that I get the expensive stuff like ultrasounds for free. Oh, and they will do an ultrasound at your first doc visit, usually around 8 weeks or so. Run, love, and run hard to your nearest midwife and don't look back....lol.

Megan Sacha - I'm glad the 2nd midwife appt went well and that it's so close. Bummer on the costs, that really does suck since it's not as nice as the other one!!!

AFM - still hanging out waiting for my appt on Friday. Hoping to finally hear the heartbeat!!! Oh, and 12 weeks tomorrow!!

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#364 of 402 Old 02-16-2010, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not sure if I posted here or not, but can we be added , too? Our EDD is October 26th.
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Hello,

I'd like to be added as well. Our EDD is 10/17/10, although the Dr seems to think it is 10/16/10 based on my LMP. We go in for our first ultrasound on Monday!
absolutely you can be added to the list!! congratulations to you both. what a recent string we have had in BFPs!! i think i remember reading in brill's book about increased fertility in spring.


Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#365 of 402 Old 02-17-2010, 01:30 AM
 
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Wow! Thanks for all that scary info mkpgoddess! Geez it sounds like Friday will be a complete waste of time. Oh well. I will stand up for what I want and we will see what happens. At least I know I will refuse most of those tests that you mentioned anyway. I really hope I'm not just going in for pee test. And a class? Geez. Well I can sit through that for free ultrasounds, I guess. I already have a couple of homebirth midwife interview appts set up for the next couple of weeks so that's good. My doc said that she would do those tests I mentioned. I hope she wasn't just BSing me just to get me in. We'll see. I'll let you know how it goes. I hope I don't cry! Thanks again for letting me know what to expect. If you think of anything else to warn me about please share. Good luck at your appt on Friday!

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#366 of 402 Old 02-17-2010, 01:32 AM
 
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Thanks for the welcome! It feels good to be here. I had my first appointment today to get the beta done. I should know the first result tomorrow and then I go back for the second on Thursday. I asked my doctor about progesterone since I'm breastfeeding but she didn't seem concerned, so didn't actually put in an order for that test. But then smartycat did some research today and is all freaked that the progesterone will be low and wants me to call tomorrow to have it added on. I'm not all that worried and don't feel like dampening the excitement with yet another 'what if', so this whole progesterone thing is upsetting me a bit. I really don't feel like calling the office since I already discussed it with the doctor...

Ok, so I wasn't going to tell the family until at least Friday when we got the quantitative results back. Well I dropped DS off at my parents' today so I could go to a work meeting. I picked him up a little bit later and my dad came in from work. As soon as he took his coat off, he looks at me and says, "Hey, I had a dream last night that you were pregnant again!". I was like- How in the world did he come up with that?! We hadn't even told anyone we tried this time! So of course my cheeks turned red and I just asked if he knew what I was having and he said no that in the dream I just was over there sitting at the table and announcing it. After that I couldn't keep my trap shut and said that I very possibly might be. And then it just sort of came out. Not that that's bad. I want them to know, I was just going to wait a few days. Now I have to make the rounds though of letting my siblings know. There are 8 of us kids and so far I haven't told 5 of them.

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#367 of 402 Old 02-17-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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14DPO- hcg=256
I go back in for the second one tomorrow. Called the dr to see if a progesterone could be added since it was making us really stressed out with each other last night. Damn these pregnancy hormones! I was all crying and couldn't sleep last night because of it. Hopefully the doc will add the stupid test and we can just move on and actually enjoy the pregnancy.

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#368 of 402 Old 02-17-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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That's an awesome high number quasar!

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#369 of 402 Old 02-17-2010, 02:13 PM
 
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Yay quasar! Awesome #! And so weird about your dad. I guess he just "knew", huh?

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#370 of 402 Old 02-17-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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great beta # quasar! fx that it doubles appropriately AND that your p4 comes back at a nice high level.

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#371 of 402 Old 02-18-2010, 02:18 PM
 
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So, I had a great conversation with a homebirth midwife yesterday. We're interviewing her on March 1 at our house. They come to your home for every prenatal, which is awesome! She's a lesbian, too, which is freaking fabulous!! DW is really excited about that. We had the best conversation on the phone! I've gotten a pretty fat-phobic response from another midwife about 6 months ago, before we even started trying (she said to me "I can't believe you would think about bringing a baby into the world when you're not at your optimal health"). So I asked this one straight up about what she thought about my weight and she said, "And? What's the problem? You wouldn't be the first fat girl to birth a baby. If so, then the race would have died out. Fat girls can give birth at home too!" That made me so happy! Everything else she said was just great, so I can't wait for the interview! This is all starting to feel a little more real.

quasar- can't wait to hear your second hcg #'s!

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#372 of 402 Old 02-18-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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Monarch - that sounds great! Too bad you're at the other end of the country, or I'd ask for a referral!

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#373 of 402 Old 02-19-2010, 09:45 AM
 
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Monarchgrrl - So great that you found a midwife that seems like such a good match!

AFM, just wanted to share our first baby pic.

Babe is measuring ahead of where I was dating it (based on O) at 8 weeks exactly (yesterday). Which would move my due date to 9/30, but I think I might just keep with my gut and stick to 10/4 (midwife said it was okay as long as the u/s dating was w/in a week of the date I came up with).

Heart rate good and strong at 177!

I strongly feel it's a girl. I know, too soon. Too soon.

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#374 of 402 Old 02-19-2010, 12:20 PM
 
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congrats lyndzies!! he or she is already really photogenic. seeing that heartbeat for the first time is really

i'm thinking girl too - both our boys had heartrates a lot lower than that.

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#375 of 402 Old 02-19-2010, 12:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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congrats lyndzies! that is a fast heartbeat! don't know if indicative of a girl because our little man has had a fast beat each time. it never gets old - that's a wonderful sound

we just came back from our echocardiogram to make sure his little heart is ok given the other issues that came up. everything looked good and they said his kidneys looked good too which was a relief. they did the 3d which was really neat - he looked like a little wax baby. now we get to relax and enjoy the pregnancy

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#376 of 402 Old 02-19-2010, 12:46 PM
 
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What a cute picture, Lyndzies.

Second beta came back at 597. We're still waiting on the progesterone.

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#377 of 402 Old 02-19-2010, 04:55 PM
 
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Lyndzies- YAY!!! What a great picture! Glad that heartbeat was strong and fast!!

quasar- Yay for the beta!!!

jjnoho- I'm so glad that everything looked good. Now you can relax and enjoy. Yay!

AFM- Went to my Kaiser appt this morning. It was all fine. They drew blood and will do typing and rh and some other things I was fine with. But like I said before, they won't do betas or anything, so I feel left out not being able to post those #'s. It's ok with me though. What will be will be, whether we know the #'s ahead of time or not. I'm really not stressing. So all we really did was just a bunch of paperwork. Easy peasy. We go back on March 10 for the hearbeat ultrasound. I'm sure the doc will love the fact that I won't let her do a pelvic exam. March 10 is the two year anniversary of my brother's death. I think it will be really cool to see the heartbeat of new life on that day! Besides that they know about our homebirth which is all cool. They made a note in my chart that we are only showing up for a couple of ultrasounds and that's it. I put DW's name and info down as "Father of the Baby" And for "Previous Birth Control" I wrote "Lesbianism". The nurse got a kick out of that! And they made a note to not ask about the "father" anymore and that we used a sperm donor. Kaiser is really good about being open to "alternatives" at least the Kaiser hospitals in this area are. And they always apologize that their paperwork isn't up to date with other family/relationship statuses.

I also took my first digital HPT today. Big fat PREGNANT! It was great to show DW that. I handed it to her with a sweet card congratulating her on becoming a mommy soon. She finally believes it and is super excited!!!

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#378 of 402 Old 02-19-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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Hi all,

Monarch - YAY, I'm so glad your experience with Kaiser was awesome and supportive!!! Gotta love the digi to get the DP's on board! Hee hee!!

Quasar - fantastic betas, girl! Congrats!!!

jjnoho - : I'm so thrilled that everything went well at the ultrasound! Yay, enjoy!!

AFM - I had a great appt today. I apologize to many of you as I know I've been a bit moody/snarky in my posts. The m/s abruptly stopped and I was honestly terrified. So many ladies in my DDC have lost their LO's and it was really getting to me. BUT, got both a doppler and a surprise ultrasound. 160 bpm and the baby is measuring exactly 12w2d, right on the dot! YAY!!!!

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#379 of 402 Old 02-19-2010, 11:22 PM
 
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Samantha, snarky? I think I must have missed those posts! I'm sorry that you had to go through a time of being so terrified and yay for a lovely u/s and heartbeat check.

jjnoho, so glad the echo went well and you can relax now.

Monarch, happy for you that you had a good experience at Kaiser. I usually hear horrible stories about them. And, I love that you wrote lesbianism down for past birth control.

Lyndzies, I bet it was fabulous to have your first u/s and see the heartbeat! As for heart rate, Finn's was about 175 at almost 10 weeks. I think they've disproved the myths about heart rates indicating gender and at 8 weeks most babies would be high like that.

AFM, I got a little heart beat check with the doppler today when I visited a midwife friend. Yay, was in the 160's and she said had good accelerations with movement and placenta sounded good. She said baby sounded really healthy. Wow, that's more info that I got from the doppler with MY midwife.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#380 of 402 Old 02-20-2010, 01:25 AM
 
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And for "Previous Birth Control" I wrote "Lesbianism".
smartycat loves doing that on all the paperwork the doctor's office has for her. I'm glad your appointment went smoothly.

You had mentioned them not doing a pelvic at the next appointment. How far along will you be? Only reason I ask is that sometimes for the early u/s they do need to use the 'dildo cam' to get pictures of the little guy. I know they did with my son. I was 6 wks along at that time, so it might have been earlier than you're going in, but just wanted to let you know in case they want to do that.

I can't wait to get to break out our doppler here. I ended up buying one for at home off of eBay last time. I used it just to check on the little one when I would get scared. It can be quite scary being on those DDCs and hearing of losses. You just feel helpless. Being able to listen in at any time really put me at ease. I know some people don't like u/s or doppler, but For me, it was a big comfort to have.

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#381 of 402 Old 02-20-2010, 01:56 AM
 
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Hi quasar! I'll be a bit past 7 weeks at that appointment. Thanks for the heads up about the dildo cam. I'm totally fine with that. The nurse said that the doc will want to do a full pelvic exam to feel the size of the uterus and check the cervix. That's what I'm not cool with. It's all good though. I'm just going to remind her by email before the appt that all prenatal stuff will be taken care of by the midwife and I only want the ultrasound. I'm looking forward to it already!

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#382 of 402 Old 02-23-2010, 05:20 PM
 
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bump!

How is everyone feeling?

I just entered the third tri (eek!) and am still pretty darn comfortable. I'm starting to *look* really pregnant, which is fun (pics on my blog: www.pleasantly-furious.blogspot.com) and am trying to enjoy every minute. My complaints these days are hip pain, lots of tears (without actual sadness, just tears), digestive issues resurfacing, restless nights, and a little trouble getting up and down without a hand. Sounds like a lot, but I'm grateful to still have energy and a good outlook. I'm loving feeling the baby move around so much these days and am amazed at watching my belly jump around on its own from the outside.

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#383 of 402 Old 02-23-2010, 07:00 PM
 
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Just lurking and taking notes ...

pleasantlyfurious - you look amazing! There is a very noticeable difference in the size of your belly, and you truly look beautiful!

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#384 of 402 Old 02-23-2010, 09:07 PM
 
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Hey y'all,

PF - I looked at your blog, and I have those same socks as my lucky IVF socks, though I did manage to get some of the "exciting" colours in purples, blues, and greens. I got four or five packages at Target in January, and they don't seem to have them anymore, I think they were a Christmas thing.

I had my first home birth midwife consult this morning. It was Ok. They seemed great, but I think I'm going to keep looking around until I decide who I want at my birth.

I think KJM and I have the same cold, my throat hurts and my face hurts and I'm kind of whiney.

My plan is for this pregnancy to go as smoothly as it can, and so far...that's working! YAY! I haven't had any major nausea, and while I am exhausted all the time, I can nap all the time, so I'm not too worried about it.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#385 of 402 Old 02-25-2010, 07:06 PM
 
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Can I be added please? Our EDD is November 4th, 2010!

Nothing to report yet, though Sonja has been having odd "vurps" lately... She also called our (queer) midwife to report our pregnancy today!

placenta.gifeat.gif I'm a queer / trans-activist / poly / pagan / (dis)abled  / crazy / crunchy partner to fsonj; we're mamas to our unschooled/freeskooled 10yo, and co-breastfeed our sprightly toddler love.gif born Nov '10! (Ask me about how to supplement at the breast!)

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#386 of 402 Old 02-25-2010, 07:33 PM
 
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erthe_mama, congrats!

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#387 of 402 Old 02-25-2010, 11:25 PM
 
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More Canucks! YAY!!!



AFM - I'm sick, I'm grouchy. I want to call in sick to teaching tomorrow, but no way can I get away with that!

I had a first appt with a midwife at the local hospital today. I really loved her.

I am officially getting off the fence about home vs. hospital for now, and I'm going to reevaluate after my next appointment in a month. I haven't decided on a hospital birth, but I don't have the energy to keep ruminating on it right now, so I think I'll stick with the hospital practice until I've met another midwife and see how I feel about it after that.

It's weird to me that I'm reevaluating this decision, I always wanted a home birth, but something is pushing me away from it, I'm not sure what it is.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#388 of 402 Old 02-26-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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megan_sacha, thank you for the congrats! It's still a little unreal.

Well Papa, I always say follow your gut. Besides, it's not like you can't change you mind later on, right? Thanks for the warm, Canadian welcome btw. DP can sure sympathise with you on the whole wanting to call in sick thing. This morning (which happens to be our anniversary of first meeting each other... YAY!! ) I helped her get her butt out of bed by making her some oatmeal with spices and Hot Dark Beverage (what we call our barley coffee / Caf-Lib). I just had some Hot Dark Beverage myself. Mmmmmm.

placenta.gifeat.gif I'm a queer / trans-activist / poly / pagan / (dis)abled  / crazy / crunchy partner to fsonj; we're mamas to our unschooled/freeskooled 10yo, and co-breastfeed our sprightly toddler love.gif born Nov '10! (Ask me about how to supplement at the breast!)

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#389 of 402 Old 02-26-2010, 02:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by erthe_mama View Post
Well Papa, I always say follow your gut. Besides, it's not like you can't change you mind later on, right?


This is one thing that I find myself telling pregnant people all the time. It's NEVER to late to switch care providers for any reason. With my second pregnancy, I hemmed and hawed until choosing someone at 13 weeks, and then ended up switching to a completely different practice at 30 weeks. Of course, ideally, you'd stay with the same person from the beginning and form a deep and lasting relationship, but if something doesn't feel right, by all means switch! Especially since most of the visits happen in the third trimester, there was still plenty of time for me to bond with my new midwives.

So excited about all the new queer pregnancies here!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#390 of 402 Old 02-26-2010, 11:04 PM
 
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Just thought I'd join in to actually be a part of the conversation. I know DW, Megin, has posted a bunch, just thought I'd put my voice in. Papa, I'm with you... have been sick with a cough/sore throat for WEEKS and it's so frustrating! People keep asking me how I"m feeling, and my answer is two sided... as a pregnant woman, I feel fine, but as just a person, I"m sick, sick, sick and tired of it.

Just tonight I realized that I am only 4 months away from birthing this baby girl. Suddenly that felt close. 4 months pass really quickly in my life these days! I shouldn't be that surprised, given how LARGE I am getting these days.

My stress of late (and DW is trying to convince me, and it's working for the most part) has to do with early breastfeeding. There is a chance that I will be starting a new job right after DD is born, giving me basically no maternity leave. I"m worried that this will present a breastfeeding issue. Of course I am totally committed to pumping, and DW will bring the babe to me at work. I think there is good reason NOT to worry, but it's the thing that has been occupying me now.

Oh, and then there's the incredible side ache... ribs stretching or something. Ugh. Yoga helps, and I just have to make myself do it.

So exciting to hear about all of the new queer babies to come!

Katie, DW to Megin, Mamma to Quinn (7y.o.) and Wylie, born 07-04-10
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