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#181 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 09:54 AM
 
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Thanks, mkpgoddess and elismum1908!

I wish the telling would have been... I dunno. Better? It's just that DP is so cautious right now, she didn't even really completely believe the digi staring her in the face saying "pregnant." She said it could be a faulty test, and also that I tested too soon.

In so many words, she said she'd believe it when a dr. confirmed it. *sigh* I know she's guarded because of the early loss in July, but I really wanted her to be super excited with me! I know she is, just cautiously. And I know she'll get way more excited once the dr. says I'm knocked up.

Speaking of which, I have an appointment this morning and now I'm freaking out. What if they make me take a non-sensitive pee test before they'll do the beta quant and prog, and it's negative???? Ahhhhhh! I need to get this appointment over with; I'm having way too much anxiety about it.

I guess, in a way, I'm in the same boat as DP (at least, since she kinda pulled my head out of the clouds last night). I want the dr. to say "yes! you are!" and to give my my damn beta and prog. numbers. Lol.

Buuuuuuut - the digi said so, so I'd still say it's pretty damn likely there's a kidlet in there.

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#182 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 01:03 PM
 
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Lyndzies - Just do NOT get upset if the stupid pee test is negative. It means absolutely NOTHING! My best friend got a negative one at 6 weeks!!! Um, hello?But, having said that, GOOD LUCK today!!!!

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#183 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 03:17 PM
 
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Lyndzies, hope you can just get your beta and progesterone numbers. And, by the way, no matter who believes it you're PREGNANT!

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#184 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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Thanks, lovelies.

As I was afraid, the doctor's pee test was negative...

I have to wait till Monday for the quant results. I don't know if they ran prog. or not. Idiots.

I am so not happy with them right now. First of all, they did the test in another room, so I wasn't even able to see it, and I heard the timer ding at like, 3 minutes or so in the other room, at which point they told me it was negative.

Oh, and you'll love this. The nurse said it was "totally possible to get a false positive because pregnancy tests pick up both LH and HCG."

I wanted to PUNCH HER. (And lecture her.)

I'm a mess. It's REALLY unlikely I got a false positive on a digi, right?

Oh, I hope. It's going to be such a long weekend. I knew it was too early. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#185 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 05:11 PM
 
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jjnoho--I usually don't post over here (not being pregnant anymore...) but I wanted to weigh in a little late on the doula question. If there is any way to swing it, and you can find an experienced doula, get one. They are worth far more than they are paid (at least if you can find one who's a good fit), for both you and anyone supporting you. I firmly believe that my doula helped spare me from a c-section. Our situation was somewhat extreme, it was a 38 week hospital induction due to an extremely risky obstetric liver condition (after diligently planning for a home birth--not fun), and really looked like I was heading to surgery for a failed induction after 2 1/2 days of various induction protocols (and yes, this was after a solid week of acupuncture and everything else under the sun to get things moving).

Our doula really helped us make decisions we felt good about. She helped us ask to go home and sleep after the first round of hospital induction failed (we never would have asked and were utterly shocked that the doctor agreed). She helped me ask to have pit turned off after another day of failed induction so I could sleep a few hours before trying again. She helped us ask the doctor (politely) for a new nurse to be assigned after one treated me awfully. Once we finally got labor going for real and I needed intense physical support she was an absolute lifeline for both me and my wife. She helped us ask the right questions at the right time, lobby for what we wanted and needed, and feel so empowered even in a thoroughly dis-empowering situation.

One of the main reasons we made sure to have a doula for this birth was that we hadn't lined up enough support for my wife's birth with our first and didn't want to repeat that mistake. I was so completely exhausted during and after my wife's long birth (similarly complicated though for different reasons), and knew I would worry during labor that my wife did not have adequate support. Our doula was a crucial emotional support for her during some very dark moments of the birth, and helped to make sure she rested and ate. Knowing she was there for my wife helped me focus on the task at hand. She was just an absolute lifeline and wonderful support in every way. We should have paid her at least 5 times as much.

OK. I'll get off my soap box now. I'm just profoundly grateful to her, and always will be.

Indigo -- Please take my story above as indication that induction can be OK if you guys end up going that way. I was so scared, having heard all the horror stories, and it ended up being an extremely empowering birth. Hopefully you avoid it though.

I'm Lyn (32) wife to Gail (38) Mama to Leigh (born 6/06 ,via Gail) and Ira (born 5/09, via me)
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#186 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 05:32 PM
 
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Lyndzies - Welcome! I wouldn't worry too much about the test. When I finally made it into the midwife's office (about a week and a half after my first positive hpt - and a couple digis) she had me pee on a stick and it was a "faint positive" and she all but told me to brace myself for a miscarriage. It's still in my chart to this day - and it drives me crazy each month when I open my chart and see her handwriting that says "VERY light positive - cautiously optimistic" But well, if the dancing monkey in my belly has any say in the matter, she was totally wrong.

Thanks so everyone who weighed in on the Mother quotient. I know it's ultimately up to me, and that almost makes it worse. Angela - your description of your mother rang very true for my situation Ahhhhh. I really do love her very much, but wow. I guess I still have time, but ultimately I think I will be inviting her with some very stern requests to not say anything negative, allow DP to be the main support person, and to be prepared for the reality that I might want to cut down on the people in the room at any given point during labor.

In other news - I'm starting to waddle As unsexy as it is, I sort of love it. And my stretch marks are going crazy. I can't say I love them, but I don't mind them much either. I finally look pregnant, I feel great, and I feel the monkey moving around all the time. I wish all of pregnancy was like this (24 weeks).

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#187 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 05:56 PM
 
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Lyndzies, I don't even know why they would bother doing a pee test since they are so subjective, as in the dye in each is a little different, the way an individual woman metabolizes HCG into her urine is different, etc. Do you know how sensitive the test is that they're using? I think the digis usually are about 50, which is quite sensitive since it may take a few days after your blood reaches that level for your urine to be at that level. I would say it would be very unlikely that the digi gave you a false positive, but if I were you I'd be taking another test and not just waiting all weekend. That would drive me crazy.

Hope you get a nice positive with the beta results Monday.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#188 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by megan sacha View Post
Lyndzies, I don't even know why they would bother doing a pee test since they are so subjective, as in the dye in each is a little different, the way an individual woman metabolizes HCG into her urine is different, etc. Do you know how sensitive the test is that they're using? I think the digis usually are about 50, which is quite sensitive since it may take a few days after your blood reaches that level for your urine to be at that level. I would say it would be very unlikely that the digi gave you a false positive, but if I were you I'd be taking another test and not just waiting all weekend. That would drive me crazy.

Hope you get a nice positive with the beta results Monday.
DP has instructed me to buy more tests on the way home. Lol.

FWIW, I called the Clearblue Easy hotline, and they told me that their digis have a sensitivity of 25mIU, so it is indeed VERY POSSIBLE that the dr.'s office tests just weren't sensitive enough. This made me feel much better.

my other tests this weekend turn positive, and that the blood test just confirms what I (and the digi) already know!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#189 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 08:16 PM
 
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Headed out to dinner but just wanted to update: The FRER is blaringly positive. Take that, stupid nurse.

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#190 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 09:06 PM
 
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stupid is right! What the heck level are they testing for and why do they waste resources on a pee test at all? stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

Yay for blazingly positive FRER!! That's awesome. Does DP believe you yet? My test at 13dpo was still relatively light so I think you're on a good path so far.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#191 of 402 Old 01-22-2010, 11:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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we went in for our level 2 unltrasound today at 18w1d. we were told that the baby is a BOY!

but also that he has 2 things going on that were of concern. 1. fluid on his kidney and 2. cleft lip.

needless to say, i am freaked out about it. i guess there was some suggestion that both of these issues arising together may indicate a more significant genetic issue. so they want us to see a genetic counselor next week, go in for an echo, and a repeat ultrasound at 32 weeks.

i have been able to look up information about each issue individually and they don't overwhelm although i don't like the idea of a baby needing surgery in the few months of his life! i can't get any information about what it means together.

any thoughts???

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#192 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 12:26 AM
 
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jjnoho! - Yay for a baby boy!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about the issues though. I hope you are able to become super well-informed... and that maybe these issues may not be as sever and scary as they are probably currently sounding/seeming???

megan sacha - no idea what levels they are testing for, but this looks pretty positive to me! All doubt has left my mind, and yes... DP is very excited after I pee'd that out at 6pm on 11dpo. I'm still sort of shocked. Lol!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#193 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 01:03 AM
 
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Lyndzies, um, yeah, that looks awesome. And it's darker than mine with FMU on 13dpo. Yay!

jjnoho, I'm sorry to hear about the concerns that came up. I don't know what they mean together either but I hope you get some answers soon. Not sure how this differs in terms of prognosis, but my wife's cousin had a baby with a cleft palate and it was a challenge but not the end of the world. He had surgery at 6 months and it all went very well and he's a very normal 2 yr old now. I think the hardest part was that he couldn't breastfeed and had to use a special bottle to mom did exclusive pumping for as long as she could.

Are you excited to be having a boy? Boys are awesome I think.

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#194 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 01:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by indigoscot View Post
ob appt today. babe passed the nst..but...dp's cervix is closed and posterior and just barely thinning. we have another nst on friday..and monday...and next thursday. if no babe by then, dp will be admitted for induction. <sigh>

g
Hi Indigo ... we were naturally induced by the midwives with the recipes below. It worked for us! By the time we went into the hospital with the midwives, I was already 6 cm and 70 % effaced. They ruptured my membranes, and six hours of natural labour later Esmé was here. Almost a year ago! Good luck!


LABOUR TEA
2 cups water
1 part cinnamon
5 parts clove
tonnes of chopped ginger

Boil for 30 minutes, remove from heat and add 3 drops of VERBENA essential oil.
Makes two cups

LABOUR COCKTAIL
2 tbs almond butter
2 tbs castor oil
blend with 300ml water
5 drops verbena (0.1ml)
200 ml apricot juice
drink quickly (within half an hour)

Leave out the castor oil if you want. I did, and it still worked!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#195 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 10:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks magan sacha and lyndzies for your posts! we are excited about having a boy.

i am going through episodes of crying my eyes out and then reassuring myself that everything is going to be fine. lucky for me, i have a great dw who is calm and supportive and wonderful. she reminds me that we are going to love this little guy no matter what, that he will be perfect to us, and i am not going through this alone. i love her so much

lyndzies - i think any doubt should be gone at this point! my first bfp wasn't that dark on 14dpo!!! congrats and i'm glad dp is on board with your excitement now

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#196 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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jjnoho, I'm still lurking around here, but really feel called to weigh in for you...Having been around through some friends' similar stories, I really encourage you to ask someone you trust to do some research for you--don't research it yourself--you don't need to worry about any rare things. A friend will be able to share with you the "need-to-know" information. HTH Lisa
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#197 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 08:54 PM
 
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update - we are at the hospital!! dp's water has broken. she is 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. cervix is still posterior. her contractions are 2mins apart but she's not feeling all of them, lol!

(the hospital has free wifi, yay!)

g

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#198 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 09:03 PM
 
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Congrats indigoscot!!! Go, go, go!!

Mommy to girls twins.gif 9/2005, our angel babies stillheart.gif 2004 and stillheart.gif 2005, and our intact, ebf superhero.gif4/29/2010.

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#199 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 09:09 PM
 
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How exciting indigo!! Hope DP has an easy labor and can't wait to hear the rest of your news!

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#200 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 10:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah indigoscot! here's hoping you both have a quick and easy labor!! look forward to hearing all about it.

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#201 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 11:01 PM
 
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wishing you fast and easy labor vibes!

giggle - mommy to GP born 3.16.09 and parter to liberty (GP's mama). hoping to have 2 under 2 in the very near future via DP's ute!
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#202 of 402 Old 01-23-2010, 11:31 PM
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Yahoo!!! Here comes our next Gayby!!! Hoorrrayy! Go indigo's DP Go!! Come on kiddo!!

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#203 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 12:59 AM
 
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Yay, indigo and dp!!!

Can't wait to hear about your new baby boy!! Happy, healthy birth vibes to you both!!

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#204 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 04:40 AM
 
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he's here!! born at 115am. 8lbs 13.1oz, 21.5", 14" head. we are in LOVE.

mama and babe doing fantastic and he is already nursing like a champ.

g

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#205 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 06:31 AM
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congrats!!!!Happy baby moon mamas!!!!!

11/24/08 SMBC with a loving LTR DP in a Queer & Poly relationshiploving my new baby Kale Cqolbi Justice!!!!!
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#206 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 09:34 AM
 
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Congrats!!! This deserves dancing veggies!


smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#207 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 10:52 AM
 
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Hooray!!!!! Congratulations!!!!




K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#208 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 10:58 AM
 
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Hi all,
I have a question. We're just starting to tell people about the bumble... which is great when we're together and can say "we're pregnant!". Then they inevitably ask which one of us is pregnant, which is fine and doesn't bother me at all since we were both trying for a while.
My question is this: what do you say when it's just you (the non-carrying mom) announcing to others by yourself. (For example, at work w/o DW there.)
Do you say "we're pregnant", "we're having a baby" "I'm having a baby" (which is true, though I'm not pregnant) "my wife and I are having a baby" "my wife is pregnant"???
I think I'm mostly thinking about work where they'll be unbelievably concerned about the idea of pregnancy and a new baby for next year (going to be a stressful work year from July '10 - July '11)... I want people to respond with happiness and excitement, not concern and hesitation, you know?

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#209 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 11:16 AM
 
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indigoscot - SO happy for the both of you!!!!

osker - we haven't gotten there yet, but DP and I have already talked a little bit about it, and I'm encouraging her to say "we're having a baby" instead of "Lindsay's pregnant" because I know she's concerned about not getting the recognition she deserves as a mama, too. Of course a whole slew of questions will follow "who's having the baby?" etc., but there's going to be a whole slew of questions, anyway (or, so we figure). Lol.

I'm interested in how others have approached this, too. We'll probably be telling our parents in the coming weeks, and others as we feel comfortable (we haven't really assigned a "weeks pregnant" timeline for telling... we just wanna feel ready, and when we do, we'll spill!).

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#210 of 402 Old 01-24-2010, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah indigoscot!! congratulations to your family. do we have a name???


Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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