Queer & Pregnant: March, April & May 2010 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 310 Old 03-17-2010, 11:11 PM
 
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And jumping on the pic bandwagon...16 weeks today:

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i2...DSC02088-1.jpg

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#62 of 310 Old 03-17-2010, 11:17 PM
 
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This is from our midwife appt today -- our son is now a midwife-in-training with a standing offer from our midwife to teach him!

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#63 of 310 Old 03-17-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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Love the new pics of cute bellies and cute little boys!

Megan-39, Postpartum Doula, DW to Sacha-40 (18 years together) and Mama to Finn Alexander born 4/2/07 and Zivia Littlewood born 8/23/10

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#64 of 310 Old 03-21-2010, 05:31 PM
 
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Andrea - come join the Oct DDC!

Megin - AWWWW!

Me - exhausted, just got home from Canada, had to pull off the road to sleep in a motel, I just coudn't keep driving the next three hours home.

But, I told my parents about the baby yesterday, and now most of my extended family knows. My dad was excited, my mother was cruel and mean "Get rid of it!" she said when I told her, but wasn't absolutely nuts and did mostly come around as we tlaked about it for a couple of hours. (The backstory is that our relationship is about as messed up as her mental health, which is plenty, and her reaction was much, much, much better than I anticipated.)

And now I'm home.... nap time!

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#65 of 310 Old 03-21-2010, 09:25 PM
 
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Papa -- that is INTENSE! Major hugs and peace to you. Though I am glad your mother's reaction was better than anticipated.

Be well, rest, rejuvenate.

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#66 of 310 Old 03-21-2010, 10:58 PM
 
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wow! that is a lot from mom, but i'm happy that you were mentally prepared for it.

this experience of queer baby making has taught me to surround yourself with those in support of you to outweigh those who are not!

giggle - mommy to GP born 3.16.09 and parter to liberty (GP's mama). hoping to have 2 under 2 in the very near future via DP's ute!
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#67 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 10:12 AM
 
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Papa - wowee, you are a braver person than I. I don't think I could have handled that reaction from anyone, let alone my mother. But then again, as others said, it sounds as though you were prepared, and I'm glad your mom's reaction was better than you had anticipated, at least. I agree wholeheartedly w/ what giggleblue said.

Just realized today that I did not share my u/s photos from last week (and wanted to!).

You can find them here, on my blog.

Hope everyone is doing well! Spring has sprung here in the Philly area, and I'm loving it (even if I have to deal with some dreariness today; the daffodils make it worth it!!!).

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#68 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 12:33 PM
 
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I found out today that morning sickness is not fun... It's especially not fun when there's an almost one year-old hanging onto you and banging the toilet seat into your head.... I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Loving partner to smartycat  ribbonrainbow.gif  . Enjoying life with our DS's- 4/5/09 and 10/29/10 love.gif!  Moms to three dogs and four cats.
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#69 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 02:26 PM
 
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I found out today that morning sickness is not fun... It's especially not fun when there's an almost one year-old hanging onto you and banging the toilet seat into your head.... I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
This sounds MISERABLE!

Mama to two, and second-time surrogate. Expecting May 2015.
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#70 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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Quasar - yuck, honey! I'm so sorry. My three year old was going around the house making gagging noises. Yeah, that was joyous. I'm sorry your LO wants to join the party...

Papa - parents are hard. Good on you for knowing the situation and letting it roll off of you. My mother responded, "but I don't want to be a grandmother" when I told her about DD. This one she was just like "oh well, you wanted this"...

AFU - we had two tires on one car and one tire on the other slashed sometime between 11:30 pm (when I got home) and 6 am (when DW was trying to go to work). It's been a morning dealing with cops, insurance companies, and tow trucks. I now have to go to my next prenatal in a few...wonder how my blood pressure is doing....lol...

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#71 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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sorry but i don't have any yucky stuff to share! all of that sounds awful from slashed tires to unsupportive mothers to upset tummys!

i am on cloud nine! we got married over the weekend and had the most amazing weather for the day my exhaustion today explains to me why people take honeymoons - we didn't because of saving time off for the baby. we had a great time and both of our families were wonderful in their participation and love. my only complaint is that almost 7 months pregnant is perhaps not the most flattering for pictures - instead of the camera putting on 10 pounds, i think it put on a month or two!

i am so madly in love with my WIFE (just had to share)

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#72 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 04:35 PM
 
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Yay, jjnoho!!! Congrats!!

quasar - ugh, that sounds awful. I hope the m/s for you is short-lived. Mine subsided around 10 weeks, thank goodness.

mpk - how horrible!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#73 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 05:02 PM
 
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jjnoho -- congrats!!!!!!!

What a fabulous weekend for a wedding in these parts.

Enjoy the newlywed bliss.

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#74 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 05:12 PM
 
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jjnoho - YAY!! Congrats!! May every day bring this joy

Update - so, had my prenatal and all is well. My uterus is apparently above my belly button at 16w5d, but my midwife didn't seem concerned. Heard the heartbeat again (148 ) and she asked if we are finding out the gender. She said that the heartbeat "sounded like a boy"!!!! EEP! I'm so excited to find out on the 8th. DW is kinda hoping for another girl, whereas I'd be thrilled if this were a boy.

Oh, and my BP was really, really LOW....LOL!! Yay, hynobabies training!

Samantha, married to Holly for over five years . DD #1 born 12/13/06 , DD #2 born 8/18/10 and 2 furballs of indeterminate age.
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#75 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 05:30 PM
 
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May I jump in and introduce myself? I'm H, 35, Dallas, partnered for four years in an open/poly relationship with another bi and somewhat-transperson and this is the first pregnancy for both of us. I'm in the October DDC, too.

I did some lurking in the September DDC because I have this peculiar feeling the baby will be early (I have no idea why my intuition is telling me this!) and I thought it might be a good idea to get to know some of that DDC's members and oh, boy, did I not like what I read there. Multiple threads obsessed with "finding out baby's gender (sic)" and agonizing over blue and pink.

I am a feminist/equalist and really opposed to in-utero gender stereotyping and at 12 weeks I'm already running into static from friends and family who are obsessed with my baby's possible genitalia. How do you deal?!
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#76 of 310 Old 03-22-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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CONGRATS jjnoho!!!

papa- Yikes! Like others have said- good thing you were prepared for that!

mkpgoddess- How horrible! I'm so sorry! We had our truck window broken a month ago. Not fun. I can't imagine so many tires.

quasar- sorry about the m/s. I hope it's short-lived.

Heinleinesque- Welcome!!!


AFM- I had my second prenatal w/ the midwives today. They looked over my food journal and were really impressed! That made me feel so good. They were really amazed at how well I eat and they didn't have to "teach" me anything about my diet so our appt was a bit shorter than the usual two hours. Everything was good. No baby-checking yet, of course.

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#77 of 310 Old 03-23-2010, 10:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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May I jump in and introduce myself? I'm H, 35, Dallas, partnered for four years in an open/poly relationship with another bi and somewhat-transperson and this is the first pregnancy for both of us. I'm in the October DDC, too.

I did some lurking in the September DDC because I have this peculiar feeling the baby will be early (I have no idea why my intuition is telling me this!) and I thought it might be a good idea to get to know some of that DDC's members and oh, boy, did I not like what I read there. Multiple threads obsessed with "finding out baby's gender (sic)" and agonizing over blue and pink.

I am a feminist/equalist and really opposed to in-utero gender stereotyping and at 12 weeks I'm already running into static from friends and family who are obsessed with my baby's possible genitalia. How do you deal?!
welcome! you have been added to the list.

i did choose to find out the baby's sex. as i see it, though, there is a big difference between finding out genitalia and gender stereotyping for us. even though we know it is coming with boy parts, we are fully open to finding out how this little one wants to express interests, gender issues, etc.

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#78 of 310 Old 03-23-2010, 11:26 AM
 
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welcome! you have been added to the list.

i did choose to find out the baby's sex. as i see it, though, there is a big difference between finding out genitalia and gender stereotyping for us. even though we know it is coming with boy parts, we are fully open to finding out how this little one wants to express interests, gender issues, etc.


We are also planning on finding out the sex. Partly because we are neurotic, and can't stand knowing that the u/s tech/my doc knows and we don't, and mostly because we want to start using our LO's name as soon as possible. DP knows that she is going to have some challenges to deal with being the non-bio mom (ugh, I hate even typing that) and we both think that using his/her name is going to help (even if it's only a little bit) with pre-birth bonding.

But I agree that "in-utero gender stereotyping" is annoying, at best. If one more person tells me it's good we're planning to find out so we can buy the appropriate things for this babe, I might scream.

Scream inside, but scream, nonetheless.

P.S. Welcome, Heinleinesque! Good to see you over here from Oct DDC!

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#79 of 310 Old 03-23-2010, 04:43 PM
 
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I'll be finding out the sex, mostly because I don't see why not.

obviously not my goal to then appropriately gender the kid....


I had my 12 wk u/s and nuchat translucency today. The pics are not as cute as last week, but I'll get them scanned in later. For now, nap time. The nuchal translucency looked fine, I'm really not worried about anything. I'm still spotting, but the kid is measuring right on at 12w1d and the heartbeat is good, around 165. My next MW appt is on Thursday.

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#80 of 310 Old 03-23-2010, 05:57 PM
 
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Oh wow, papa! You're already at the NT scan phase? Time seems to be flying! Glad things looked good.

Welcome, Heinleinesque!

AFM- Been feeling kinda crummy today. At least the m/s yesterday lasted only a short time. Today I just feel blah and semi-nauseous. I want to just go back to bed. Yesterday, eating helped things, but today not so much.

We're 9 weeks today! It seems like we've known forever that I'm pregnant, but it also seems like it's going slow. I'm charging up my doppler and we'll try to hear the hb tonight when smartycat gets home from work. I think this is about the time in my last pregnancy that I was able to find it.

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#81 of 310 Old 03-23-2010, 08:21 PM
 
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wishin'&hopin Yeah... I think I just might lurk in both October and November. I'm doing most of my posting here.

mkpgoddess Ooooh, nice baby bump!!

megincl What a cute kid!!

FtMPapa Baby-growing sure is sleepy work, hey? Sorry you had to stop with only three more hours to go...

Lyndzies Awww! That last photo is particularly adorable.

quasar That sucks about the morning sickness plus lid-meets-head bit.

jjnoho Congrats!!

Heinleinesque Welcome! Sonja and I planning to counter-question the "Is it a boy or girl?" question with either "Yes!" or "Are you asking me about my baby's genitalia?!" or something to that effect.


AFM: We're planning to name our baby the same thing for either sex (Alarik), so that detail is unimportant to us. We have also mostly unisex clothing, but also pink and blue stuff (my fave is a bright pink onesie that has a cartoon cupcake on it and says "cupcake"), and we plan to dress the baby in all of the clothes regardless of sex as well.
Sonja is just home from work and already napping. It's really unfortunate that I suck at cooking so badly... So much so that she wants me to wake her up soon to make dinner rather than me cook for the family.
Also, I'm really glad that I learned about a special belly massage to get rid of gas/constipation when I was in massage therapy school; it's coming in handy for my pregnant womyn!

placenta.gifeat.gif I'm a queer / trans-activist / poly / pagan / (dis)abled  / crazy / crunchy partner to fsonj; we're mamas to our unschooled/freeskooled 10yo, and co-breastfeed our sprightly toddler love.gif born Nov '10! (Ask me about how to supplement at the breast!)

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#82 of 310 Old 03-23-2010, 11:26 PM
 
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wishin'&hopin
Heinleinesque Welcome! Sonja and I planning to counter-question the "Is it a boy or girl?" question with either "Yes!" or "Are you asking me about my baby's genitalia?!" or something to that effect.
Oh, that's great! All I've been willing to say thus far is "I hope just one or the other, because life can be rough when you are both or neither."

Thank you all for the welcomes
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#83 of 310 Old 03-24-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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Oh, that's great! All I've been willing to say thus far is "I hope just one or the other, because life can be rough when you are both or neither."

Thank you all for the welcomes
OOOH I like that!

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#84 of 310 Old 03-24-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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Me too!! That's actually much better...

placenta.gifeat.gif I'm a queer / trans-activist / poly / pagan / (dis)abled  / crazy / crunchy partner to fsonj; we're mamas to our unschooled/freeskooled 10yo, and co-breastfeed our sprightly toddler love.gif born Nov '10! (Ask me about how to supplement at the breast!)

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#85 of 310 Old 03-25-2010, 02:57 PM
 
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I heard the heartbeat today!

It was very exciting. I had my second midwife appointment today.

I'm still on the home/hospital fence, but so far, I like the midwives.

We listened to the heartbeat on the doppler, and I felt like a boring pregnant person because I don't really have any big concerns or questions or worries. She listened to my heart and lungs, boring. I'm beating, I'm breathing.

They tested my urine, and I guess it was fine because nobody said it wasn't.

I have about three days left of the first trimester, and I suppose I should be grateful that pregnancy has been so boring so far.

I mean, there were a couple little spotting/cramping scares, but overall, it's boring.

Getting pregnant was a whole lot more difficult and stressful than being pregnant.

I'm excited that today is the first day that I haven't gone back to bed the second I could, and I woke up feeling really good this morning, at a reasonable hour, and I didn't wake up to eat in the middle of the night. Total win.



How is everyone else doing?

I can't believe we made it through all of February and now most of March with no births! I'm awaiting our next graduates with bated breath.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#86 of 310 Old 03-25-2010, 03:49 PM
 
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Congratulations, Papa, that's great!
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#87 of 310 Old 03-25-2010, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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congrats papa on your very boring (good thing) pregnancy. it is an adjustment from ttc. but a welcome one no doubt

don't you just love hearing the heartbeat?? it brings me to tears every time.

i'm glad you are liking the midwives. i think they are great if you are still with the same bunch at the hospital!?

we are considering joining the centering group they offer - is anyone else invovled in that and what are your thoughts?

i have officially entered the 3rd trimester - where did all that time go? i am so not ready for a little one in my arms in 3 months! we have a lot to do and not a single piece of furniture yet. i am also feeling really huge all of a sudden. not really achy but have a big belly right out front of me. my feet are getting further and further away. i'm almost at the point of needing help getting my shoes on! FUN!!

Me, DW , and DS born 7/6/10
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#88 of 310 Old 03-25-2010, 07:52 PM
 
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Papa, congrats on hearing the heartbeat! That's awesome!!

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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#89 of 310 Old 03-25-2010, 09:42 PM
 
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Monarchgrrl: We've been calling it her smurfvix. Hehe.


Hey you all; I think I'm the only queer on the November board... I'm not liking this very much. I'm lonely over there. I think I may quit my ddc.
Don't know if I "count", since my partner is male, but I'm there!

(Due date is 11/1. I suspect, based on my past history, that it will show up in October, but I'm feeling more ties to the November group.)

DS born 6/03, DD1 born 9/06, DD2 born 10/10, DD3 born 4/14.
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#90 of 310 Old 03-26-2010, 01:14 AM
 
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How cool on hearing the heartbeat, papa! Glad you like your midwives. I hope whatever you decide for the birth makes for an amazing experience.

We had our first OB appointment today. Man, what is it with none of these appointments with this baby going according to plan? We were waiting for a good 20 minutes at least before we were taken in for the 'interview' with the nurse. As we were walking in, the nurse stopped smartycat and was like, "Oh, you can just stay out in the waiting room. We're just going to be asking her a few questions." I mumbled, "Um, she probably knows the dates and things better than I do." and smartycat said, "Yeah, thanks I'd like to be back there for everything..." Or something to that effect. So we're in there for quite some time answering dumb family history questions and then I mention that I'm still bfing DS. The nurse got all offended(? I know that's not the right word, but not sure how else to put it) and said, "Well, you know you're going to have to stop doing that. He's probably getting old enough to wean anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem. It won't hurt the baby if he doesn't wean, but your calcium will be sucked up and your bones will be majorly depleted." As if I'm an idiot and don't know that I need to increase my vitamin intake... She also mentioned co-sleeping and how it should never be done, etc. Whatever.... finally that was over with and I peed in a cup for them. Then they just had us stand in the hall for about 10 minutes while we waited for a nurse to take us in. We felt really awkward, so after the 10 minutes we just went back in the waiting room. IT was yet another 10 minutes before they took us back to a room. Then they got my vitals and we waited yet again for the doctor. She was cool. Told me I could continue breastfeeding and didn't say anything stupid, like the nurse did. She poked me a little bit, and that was it. I got my rx for some lab work, but haven't had a chance to get that done yet. The whole appointment today took almost 2 freaking hours, and for absolutely nothing really. I was a little annoyed and really hungry by the time it was all done. Last time, this office was great. Not sure what the deal was this time around, but they better shape up.

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