Co-Parenting with fags - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 03-03-2004, 04:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi -

Any queer women co-parenting with fags? I am a queer mama of a 4 month old girl, and am co-parenting with a gay man. I know lots of lesbian couples with kids, but no-one in our situation. I am interested in chatting with other folks about the unique challenges.

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#2 of 12 Old 03-11-2004, 01:20 PM
 
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Hi Ali,

Welcome to the boards and congratulations on your daughter!

I'm all for "reclaiming" language - and the gay community has been generally pretty successful in changing the connotation of "queer" to a positive thing - but I personally don't think the term "fag" will ever be reclaimed. I find it to be a highly derogatory term and have never met a gay man who thought it a good thing to be called a fag.

I think you might find more people would respond to this post if you used a more positive wording for your co-parenting family composition. Just a thought.

madison

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#3 of 12 Old 03-13-2004, 04:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanx for your opinion about terminology. The fag about whom I am speaking prefers that term to 'gay man' (yawn) as do I. I also feel that I get enough flak about queer mothering/our family choices without defending my choice of terminology to other queers (I assume you are queer).

That said... anyone else coparenting with a fag? Gay man? Bi guy? Male of the queer persuasion? I am interested in dialogue about the unique issues that have come up for us so far... such as being perceived as straight, the ultra-queerness of intentionally creating family outside a romantic partnership, how to share parenting when practicing bf/ap and not living together, etc., and also hearing about what else has come up for folks.

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#4 of 12 Old 03-17-2004, 10:45 PM
 
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I'm not co-parenting with a man, but some of the pioneering family builders in my area are a lesbian couple who parent with a gay man. I don't know them well, but from the outside, it looks like they make it work by lots of solid communication.

Welcome to Mothering!
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#5 of 12 Old 03-19-2004, 11:39 PM
 
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#6 of 12 Old 03-20-2004, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanx for replies. I appreciate them. I had no idea when we started out how 'unique' our arrangement would be. I haven't found anyone else in a similar coparenting situation.
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#7 of 12 Old 12-17-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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who's still looking to co-parent, so I find your story interesting. I think we're in the forefront--it may take society (and the gay community) years to catch up with the idea of gay co-parenting.


www.co-parentsearch.com
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#8 of 12 Old 12-17-2008, 05:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midtowngym View Post
who's still looking to co-parent, so I find your story interesting. I think we're in the forefront--it may take society (and the gay community) years to catch up with the idea of gay co-parenting.


www.co-parentsearch.com
The link in your signature doesn't work.

Used to be stay at home parent to our two lovely girls, survived nursing school with family intact, about to graduate and looking for a job! I low-supply nursed my bio daughter for 3 years. 

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#9 of 12 Old 12-18-2008, 01:25 AM
 
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Holy moley, old post resurrection, batman!

It as my preferred mode of parenting, but it didn't take me long to figure out that I'm way too much of a control freak, way too independent, and as a grad student, I can't commit to any geographic area for the long term.

Finally, the power differentials around $$$ were too big for me.

That is, all of the above for the way of co-parenting I would have wanted to do - like living in a duplex and having the kid trot back and forth at will, or living communally.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#10 of 12 Old 12-20-2008, 01:28 PM
 
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We are not co-parenting per say. However, we used a known donor-and he is involved in my son's life. He is not legally a parent as my partner did a second parent adoption.

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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#11 of 12 Old 12-24-2008, 03:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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omg yeah wow i think this is like my first post on mdc. lol!
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#12 of 12 Old 01-09-2009, 01:48 AM
 
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WOW, yeah, this thread is old...

I am bi and co-parenting with a bi guy, but we use to be in a relationship so DS was conceived... err, the old fashioned way.

We are not a couple any longer though but we all live in the same house (again, as of last month).

Carly [29] + DH [27] + DS [9]

TTC my second and his first!

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