Testing KD? No insurance... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi!

My lovely brother in law has been approached about being our KD, and has responded way more enthusiastically than expected (he's a pretty laid-back kind of guy, so any unprompted excitement is rare). The problem is that he lives in Nashville and we live in Chicago.
Our options look like 1: fly him up here every month on time and do things at home.
or, 2: fly him up here to deposit at the local sperm bank, where things will be screened and cleaned and kept on ice. which could come in handy for any future kids, and also since scheduling can be a little more convenient.

So here's my question: to use him as a donor the sperm bank wants him to get tested for motility, etc etc. How do we do that? He doesn't have health insurance, and I'm pretty sure mine won't cover my out of state BIL's fertility issues.

Also, is this the most awful idea ever and we should just go with a non-ID release UD instead? Because it makes my wife all smiley and happy whenever we talk about the baby looking like her, too, and I hate to stop that...

She's here! joy.gif
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#2 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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Our insurance doesn't cover any testing for KDs either--so we got a sperm analysis for ours first before paying the $1,000 for the donations/exam/bloodwork. It was a well-spent $150. I would try and find fertility clinics in his area, and see if they'd cut you a deal! Most MDs are pretty expensive, but fertility clinics do this all the time and tend to be cheaper.

Good luck!
K
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#3 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 01:03 PM
 
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Welcome! And congrats on finding a KD! I think the decision about who it is and whether that's right for you is really all yours. In terms of helping you know, playing things out for down the road is really useful (and hard when you're just thinking in the present about sperm!).

Another option you have is to ship fresh cooled sperm. It's done overnight and the sperm quality is often closer to fresh than to frozen, which is to your benefit. There are a few companies that sell the supplies -- bio tranz, male order (or something like that).

In terms of testing, it's unlikely you'll get it covered. The motility test isn't too expensive, if I recall correctly. The std etc testing (the "FDA panel") is more expensive as it has to be done by the sperm bank itself and is rather extensive. But, it could still be worth it if it gives you more flexibility in terms of timing.

Poke around these boards a bit and you'll find even more info!

Good luck!

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#4 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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This would only work if you were going megincl's option of shipping cooled freshies, or flying him up (or flying there) for fresh insems...

But we had a fresh (local) KD (who did not have insurance), and we had him do his HIV/STI tests at the local planned parenthood (gosh, i think free?) once at the beginning of discussions, and again 6 months later right before we started. He is one of our best friends and we know (and trust) that he is in a monogamous relationship with his long-term girlfriend... but we still had him provide copies of his results to us.

We did not have a SA done, but if it's only $150 and for peace of mind, not a terrible idea to pay for that out-of-pocket.

Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#5 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 02:18 PM
 
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My SA at my local hospital was $60 - my donor's insurance would have covered it, but he hadn't met his deductible yet, so I paid it.

My insurance also has a clause that it will cover payment and testing of donor gametes under some conditions, so it might be worth checking that.

Is there a fertility clinic near him? Chances are it would be easier to work with a fertility clinic local to him and then have everything shipped frozen to your clinic, but they're going to want quarantines and bullshit and it might be hard to find a clinic to work with, and a lot of guys don't have sperm that freezes well.

My been-there-done-that advice is to get the freeze/thaw test if you want to use frozen. It might be expensive, but it's going to be cheaper than freezing a whole bunch of sperm, and then doing a whole bunch of home cycles only to find out that they're duds. Not to mention the emotional b-s.

Personally, if you can swing either shipping fresh sperm or travelling to him for inseminations, that's what I would do, and that will likely be the cheapest option in the end.

Choose your known donor or your anonymous donor not based on $$ but based on what is RIGHT for your family. For my family, that decision has been different at different times, but while cost is a consideration, obviously, don't switch for the sake of a couple hundred bucks.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#6 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
Choose your known donor or your anonymous donor not based on $$ but based on what is RIGHT for your family. For my family, that decision has been different at different times, but while cost is a consideration, obviously, don't switch for the sake of a couple hundred bucks.



Part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, all mama. Enjoying life as a wife to my partner of 11 years, and a mama to our smarty-pants toddler, Cadence.

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#7 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 03:26 PM
 
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Hi, in terms of the question of using a KD or anonymous, we chose a KD after tons of back and forth and (at the moment at least) are so thrilled that we did. We also thought of using our brother in laws for each other (we both have brothers) and actually decided not to after reading the caution about it in the Stephanie Brill book, and also feeling like both our brothers are young and suggestible and would do anything for us, and we didn't want that power dynamic to influence their decision. but that was just our take on the whole thing, and i know there are people out there who go the relative of partner route and are so happy about it. once we decided not too, though, we still wanted to stick to a known donor so we just widened our net. hope this is helpful. and yes, the std testing and sperm count were all uncovered by insurance and expensive. our city health clinic did the basics for free for him since he is a gay man (in a higher risk group according to them) but we followed the list that most banks do which was much more exhaustive (and maybe necessary?) and more expensive. i think a semen analysis should definitely be doe early in the process- its more common than you'd think for this to be an issue.
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#8 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by megincl View Post
Another option you have is to ship fresh cooled sperm. It's done overnight and the sperm quality is often closer to fresh than to frozen, which is to your benefit. There are a few companies that sell the supplies -- bio tranz, male order (or something like that).
Good luck!

Amanda (32)ribbonrainbow.gif Sue (37)
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#9 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone!
We'll totally look into the chilled thing--I hadn't heard of that before. I think we're going to see what it would cost to do the analysis in TN, but we might just cut to the chase and have him do it up here when he visits (near ovulation? possibly go there first and then try fresh once while he's still in town?) so if things look good it'll be nearby for us to use once it passes the quarantine.

In any case, thanks for all of the advice! I'm waiting for the Brill book to get in at the library (I skimmed it once several years ago and now can't remember anything except the cover) so I'll look into her KD thoughts more, too.


She's here! joy.gif
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#10 of 10 Old 06-04-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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If you actually feel like fighting the fertility clinic on the quarantine - the FDA rules mandate a test-six month quarantine - retest protocol, for ANONYMOUS donors. Most fertility clinics attempt to impose that same protocol on known donors, citing the FDA regs, but they are not correct.

The FDA regs specify a different protocol for what they call "directed donors" who are known as known donors colloquially. For known donors, the protocol is STD testing within 7 days, so theoretically, he could donate for 7 days, have the tests, and then donate for another 7 days.

Honestly, you're way better off having him donating close to him. Shipping frozen sperm is no big deal. Do not underestimate the impact of being your donor on his life. He has to go to the clinic, they're likely not conveniently located, do his thing, go back about his day. He isn't supposed to masturbate or have sex or ejaculate for any reason between donations, spaced 48 hours apart.

It's not a small thing you're asking him to do, some donors find it quite stressful. Also, by spacing donations closer together than a couple times a week (48 hours is typically the minimum spacing suggested) you're risking lower sperm counts.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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