This is a mix of rant and questions...apologies in advance...
dw and I have been together for twelve years. Eight years ago we were married in our church (not legally of course...this was before any states were legalizing), in front of 125 of our family members and friends. A few years ago we moved to MA. We thought we might legally marry, since we can in MA, but we have put it off largely because (1) it isn't federally recognized; (2) it complicates our tax situation immensly; and (3) the religious marriage was the most important one in our minds. Every-once-in-a-while I start feeling like we should go ahead and get married in MA because it would secure our property as jointly owned and would hopefully provide an additional level of security in the event that one of us dies unexpectedly.
Right now, though, I am feeling glad we haven't married in MA because I would really resent what I am going to have to do in CT if I was already married in MA
. Because the thing is, I have been accepted on a deferment basis and am going to do a grad program at Yale fall of 2011.
So I was checking out the Yale Student Health Plan, and it will only cover dw if we are married or in a civil union. I don't think a MA marriage would count, from the looks of it. So even if we *were* married in MA (which we might want to do still because we might keep our property here), we'd have to go and get a CT civil union for me to get her on my plan
Anyway, can someone give me the scoop on CT civil unions (or dw just told me she thought it was actually a marriage). What do we have to do?
Also, does anyone have info on state-only recognized marriages and federal taxes? dw is currently my legal financial dependent as the sahm, but this is because we are unmarried. I admit in a way I get the gratifying feeling each tax season that I am giving the federal govt. the finger for not recognizing our marriage. If we got married in MA, could I still claim dw as a dependent on federal taxes given that it is not a federally-recognized marriage? Or would it be one of those situations in which the government is like, "We won't recognize your marriage unless it saves us some money, and in that case, you are violating the law unless you comply with us recognizing your marriage."