Orgasms, timing and EWCM, oh my! - Mothering Forums
Queer Parenting > Orgasms, timing and EWCM, oh my!
thisgirl's Avatar thisgirl 04:25 PM 07-13-2010
Hello again folks!

I'm looking for some opinions on what the best insemination plan for me will be and am hoping that I came to the right place!

We are inseminating with a known donor for the first time this month. In the last 3 months I have done everything I can to prepare. I have never had EWCM so I started taking a supplement called FertileCM, drinking a ton of water and green tea, eating baby carrots in bulk around ovulation time and taking mucinex. Last month I broke down and had some full fat dairy (I was a vegan and will be again once finally pregnant). The dairy seemed to do more than the rest of that stuff combined. But even with all of that I just got more wet around ovulation time - nothing stretchy or egg white like.

However, when I have an orgasm I make a lot of arousal fluid and it is slippery and stretchy (could easily stretch 6 inches).

So, I am wondering if it would just be best for me to have an orgasm before inseminating. I have read conflicting information about arousal fluid. Some sources say it's good for sperm, others say it changes the PH of the vagina because it is more acidic than CM and thus not good for sperm. Thoughts?

Also, I know that a lot of people like to orgasm after insemination so that the cervix will dip down and pick up some sperm. Well I don't orgasm easily. If I put in an instead of cup after insemination would oral sex be OK or could her saliva still kill the sperm? If oral sex is out my only other option is a powerful vibrator and I'm a bit worried about all that shaking on the poor little guys.

Luckily, we should be able to try 3 or 4 times in the fertile window so perhaps I should try a variety of options.

Wow, I can't believe I just posted all of that on a public forum ... I just didn't know who else to ask!

Thanks in advance for your expertise!

citygirl144's Avatar citygirl144 10:34 PM 07-13-2010
Hi- good luck on your first insem! My DP got pregnant on our first at-home cycle with a KD, and she doesn't get any EWCM (just wetness around ovulation) so I was very concerned, for no reason as it turned out. She orgasmed before each insemination (actually maybe for the last one she did it after the insem...now i can't remember). we used preseed so maybe that helped with the lack of EWCM situation? we did the insems 3 days before O, 2 days before, and day of (we were using the OvaCue so we knew exact time of ovulation). She is now 8 weeks along. I hope this is helpful! Sorry i don't know about your other questions re: saliva etc.
thisgirl's Avatar thisgirl 10:19 PM 07-15-2010
Thanks so much for your response CityGirl! I guess I'll just try a few inseminations with an orgasm before and see what happens. I'm sure I'm over thinking it!

I have an ovacue as well but also chart and use sometimes use OPKs if I have cheap ones on hand. For the most part the ovacue has been reliable but last month it said I ovulated 5 days after my chart, my OPKs and my body said I did so now I'm a bit more reluctant to trust it.
erthe_mama's Avatar erthe_mama 02:19 PM 07-16-2010
imho, worrying whether you have an orgasm or not is worse than just going with the flow. If you feel more comfortable having an orgasm beforehand, that's totally okay. The cycle my DP got pregnant, we had sex (fingers, no oral I think) a little before the insem as far as I remember, but no O, because the month before, she O'd after insem, and the sperm all came spilling out. lol If you'd rather have oral after I'm sure the Instead would help protect the sperm and keep it in there.

We didn't use preseed or Insteads. To amp up EWCM (she didn't have much if any), she drank nettle and alfalfa infisions I made for her. Oh, and took some kind of oil capsules that were a step up from evening primrose, but I can never remember what they're called. I'll ask DP later.

Good luck!
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