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#1 of 5 Old 10-02-2010, 01:30 AM - Thread Starter
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I am so happy I found this thread! Just an intro, and wondering if anyone has a similar situation or support, I am new to all this!
My name is Melanie, I have been married for almost 6 years, we have 2 sons who will be 2 and 5 in November. I married a man, but he recently came out as a transgender lesbian. I have been straight up until now (but always accepting of others' lifestyles. Previously, not any strong lesbian feelings, but always felt different from other girls), but when I realized I was madly in love with my partner, I realized I am bi ^_^ A few weeks ago, my husband almost cheated on me, lots of drama, then Amy came out, and Chris disappeared, and our relationship is SO much better! <3 lol sorry so confusing!
Anyways, this all happened so recently, I'm very happy but a bit overwhelmed. Only a handful of people know, our kids don't really understand what's happening. The bad thing is that we are in a small town, very judgmental, we are trying to get out of this state asap, but with work obligations, it's gonna be a while.
Any recommendations for resources/ other support groups? We have a few gay friends, but none nearby. Especially any for lesbian/trans parenting? How do explain Amy's change to the kids?
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#2 of 5 Old 10-02-2010, 09:21 AM
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Welcome, ournewohana! I don't have too much specific advice in response to your questions, but I did want to make sure you felt welcomed to the board. Your DP is really lucky to have such an open and loving partner, and I know that you two and your kids can make it through this.

My partner is trans and started transitioning before we met, and there are other partners of trans folks on this board. Let me/us know how we can help as you sort out your new and changing public and private identities.

Joyful, busy, often overwhelmed queer academic mama to an awesome toddler and:


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#3 of 5 Old 10-02-2010, 11:23 PM
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Welcome! My partner is also trans (FtM). My situation is very different than yours - we have both been out as queer forever, and now deal with the weird reality of sometimes being read as straight. We have a two year old, and she has always known my partner as her Papa, even though he hadn't physically transitioned at all when she was born.

There is a yahoo group called GQTG Parenting (genderqueer/transgender parenting) that might be a good resource. I've also gone to support groups specifically for partners and/or family of trans people, and I've found that very helpful. It would be worth driving to another city if that's the closest one you can find. Those groups have been incredibly important safe spaces for me.

More than anything, just breathe, and know that everything will be okay.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#4 of 5 Old 10-05-2010, 12:59 AM
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What a happy ending! I love it. I will be rooting for you and your family to find a more open-minded community. So your kids don't really understand what's hit is just to sit them down and explain it all to them together, in the simplest terms possible. It seems like you're both happy and they are most likely picking up on that, so that's good.
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#5 of 5 Old 10-05-2010, 04:33 AM - Thread Starter
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Thank you so much for the warm welcome! ^_^ I will go check out that Yahoo group. Hugs and blessings to everyone!
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