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Old 10-23-2010, 02:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Elise became the first person to have a parent, according to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Up until now, it's been possible to be listed as a mother, father, co-parent, or second parent to a child. But as of today, there is another option. Parent.

Elise and I picked up her record of birth at the Northampton City Clerk's Office, a momentous occasion that we photographed so that I can show her later because she slept through the main event.

Photo is here: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1208/...06288f1c_m.jpg

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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Old 10-23-2010, 03:04 AM
 
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I am going to sound stupid but what is the importance of being just a "parent" than a father, mother, coparent, or second parent (which I don't like because it implies importance to the first parents).

Thanks in advance for educating me.
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Old 10-23-2010, 03:13 AM
 
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Papa, that's awesome! Congratulations. Did you have much bureaucracy to get through to make it happen?

My kid has a mother and a parent on his birth certificate and I've long argued that the option of parent: parent or mother: mother or whatever you an individual family prefers would be such a simple thing. DP really wishes she was listed as mother.

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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Old 10-23-2010, 04:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am going to sound stupid but what is the importance of being just a "parent" than a father, mother, coparent, or second parent (which I don't like because it implies importance to the first parents).

Thanks in advance for educating me.
It seemed like we might be gearing up for a huge fight with lawyers and ugliness because I am legally and socially male, but I gave birth to her.

I did not want to be listed as her "mother" and then have to go to court to change that - and frankly, I don't think the commonwealth wanted me listed as a mother, either, because that would mean that a male had been listed as a child's mother, which could set precedent. Personally, I wasn't worried about what precedent might be set - that's the state's job.

For genderqueer or gender non-conforming parents, the option to be listed as "parent" rather than mother or father might be important.

For single parents, there has never been an option before - it's just mother. It's not even possible to generate a record of birth through the computer system without listing a mother.

Anything that opens up options for folks is a good thing in my book, HTH!

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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Old 10-23-2010, 05:02 AM
 
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Congrats Papa !!

That is so cool !

Makin' babies and changing the world a little bit at the time Great !!!

Coco
xxxxx

Celebrating the arrival of our twins twins.gifCharlie & Chloe, born Jan 28th 2011 !

 


 

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Old 10-23-2010, 11:04 AM
 
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You guys are a posse of two to be reckoned with! Go Papa!
Congratulations!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:13 AM
 
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congratulations!!!!

i hope this makes life easier for you both!!
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:18 AM
 
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Congratulations!!

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:33 AM
 
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Congratulations, you are so cute and happy! I don't know exactly why but that pic of you makes my heart happy and I think I will have a better day for it. Thank you and I'm so glad you are making a difference.
sara
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:50 AM
 
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That's awesome!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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Old 10-23-2010, 12:07 PM
 
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Wow. Congratulations.
I am also FTM and, although I didn't give birth to our DD, I am also listed as her parent. But my DW is listed as her mother. Were you able to get her listed without a mother? I think that there has to be a mother listed here. I am not positive about that though.

We live in Ontario. Things were changed here so that none biological parents could be listed as parents without having to adopt the child. That was a big step. But so far it is only available to those who do not use a known donor...or who at least without the status of the donor identity. I am grateful to the people who came before me and fought for the rights to be listed and registered in a way that is sensible and accommodating to many.

Again, congrats on the birth of your baby and on getting registered in a way that makes sense to you, your family and setting the stage for many more to come after you.

Me 40 eat.gif. Partner to mamacolleen 33 superhero.gif. DD born July 2009 blahblah.gif. Twin boys born Nov 2012.

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Old 10-23-2010, 12:39 PM
 
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So awesome, Papa! Congratulations to you and little Elise! What a step in the right direction.

Loving partner to smartycat  ribbonrainbow.gif  . Enjoying life with our DS's- 4/5/09 and 10/29/10 love.gif!  Moms to three dogs and four cats.
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Old 10-23-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
It seemed like we might be gearing up for a huge fight with lawyers and ugliness because I am legally and socially male, but I gave birth to her.

I did not want to be listed as her "mother" and then have to go to court to change that - and frankly, I don't think the commonwealth wanted me listed as a mother, either, because that would mean that a male had been listed as a child's mother, which could set precedent. Personally, I wasn't worried about what precedent might be set - that's the state's job.

For genderqueer or gender non-conforming parents, the option to be listed as "parent" rather than mother or father might be important.

For single parents, there has never been an option before - it's just mother. It's not even possible to generate a record of birth through the computer system without listing a mother.

Anything that opens up options for folks is a good thing in my book, HTH!

Thanks for the explanation. I didn't really process your name until after your post. I just assumed you were dad by the picture.

But I do see that as issue now! Thanks. Congratulations.
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Old 10-23-2010, 02:12 PM
 
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Yay for progress! Congrats Papa! I wish some of that would rub off on my state, oh RI...so liberal in most ways and so stuck in others!

J & A together for 6 years love.gif married since 11/09 & so in love with our DD, Reed Kylie born 2/5/11! stillheart.gif
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Old 10-23-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
Elise became the first person to have a parent, according to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Up until now, it's been possible to be listed as a mother, father, co-parent, or second parent to a child. But as of today, there is another option. Parent.

Elise and I picked up her record of birth at the Northampton City Clerk's Office, a momentous occasion that we photographed so that I can show her later because she slept through the main event.

Photo is here: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1208/...06288f1c_m.jpg
That's awesome! What did you have to do to make this an option?

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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Old 10-23-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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Forum crashing to say HOW COOL!! Congrats papa. I hope you don't have to go through a bunch of legal ugliness.

Mom to DD1 (10/07) and DD2 (3/11)
geek.gif I blog about our life with food allergies and eosinophilic disorders.
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Old 10-23-2010, 03:44 PM
 
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Many congratulations, Papa, on Elise's birth, on the powerful family of two that you have created, and for continuing to challenge a restrictive system to reflect who you are and what you deserve.

Partner rainbow1284.gif of 17 yrs to DP,  Mommy to 10-yr-old Z blowkiss.gif, and Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11 luxlove.gif.

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Old 10-23-2010, 04:03 PM
 
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Good for you!

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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Old 10-23-2010, 07:12 PM
 
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Many congratulations, Papa, on Elise's birth, on the powerful family of two that you have created, and for continuing to challenge a restrictive system to reflect who you are and what you deserve.

DP and I  rainbow1284.gif together since 2001, brokenheart.gif 4/10,  pos.gif 7/10
DS - planned h20homebirth.gif born via ribboncesarean.gif 4/4/2011
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Old 10-23-2010, 09:06 PM
 
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Wow! That's really great! Congrats!

Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

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Old 10-23-2010, 09:12 PM
 
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Yay! Congratulations!!

DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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Old 10-24-2010, 01:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by colsxjack View Post
Wow. Congratulations.
I am also FTM and, although I didn't give birth to our DD, I am also listed as her parent. But my DW is listed as her mother. Were you able to get her listed without a mother? I think that there has to be a mother listed here. I am not positive about that though.

We live in Ontario. Things were changed here so that none biological parents could be listed as parents without having to adopt the child. That was a big step. But so far it is only available to those who do not use a known donor...or who at least without the status of the donor identity. I am grateful to the people who came before me and fought for the rights to be listed and registered in a way that is sensible and accommodating to many.

Again, congrats on the birth of your baby and on getting registered in a way that makes sense to you, your family and setting the stage for many more to come after you.
I'm from Ontario. It's a small world! Ican't wait to move home i na couple years, once I finish my PhD.

She was listed w/o a mother. I think that MA was unlikely to want to set the precedent of either listing me as a father, since I gave birth, or listing me as a mother, since I am male. Either way would have posed challenges to the definition of mother and father legally.

Being her parent makes even more sense for our family becuase I am a single parent - being "parent" makes it 100% clear that I'm it, and that can be good for things like border crossings (which we are planning to do frequently) and international travel.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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Old 10-24-2010, 02:21 AM
 
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Congrats Papa! Wonderful news!

Me (35). DP to S (39) ; Mommy to DS: J (6), Furball Pupps: L (10) & S (1) dog2.gifand a new little baby boy arriving on/around Dec 2.1sttri.gif
 
 
 
 

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Old 10-24-2010, 11:07 AM
 
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That's awesome

S & Yrainbow1284.gif (Vermont Civil Union 7/8/03) DS1 Holdennovaxnocirc.gif (4/25/07) and two in heaven  angel.gif1/10 &  angel.gif5/10 our rainbow1284.gif is here  DS2 Keegan(5/23/11)homebirth.jpg
 
 
 
  

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Old 10-24-2010, 01:08 PM
 
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Yay for all your activism. And, a future move back to Ontario.

DW and I are moms to two teens (DD 17 and DS 15) adopted through CAS in 2007 and a toddler (DD 2) born at home in March 2011.

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Old 10-24-2010, 06:53 PM
 
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Adding this to my list of reasons I wish I could move to MA...

Congrats papa!!!
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Old 10-24-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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That is so fantastic! Congrats, and I love that sweet pic of you two

Me + DP + 2 rescue lap dogs = True Love Always
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Old 10-24-2010, 07:25 PM
 
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Congratulations!

ETA: Your kid is stinkin' adorable .

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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Old 10-25-2010, 02:00 AM
 
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Congratulations!
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Old 10-25-2010, 02:11 AM
 
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congrats! And she's adorable!

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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