Queer & Pregnant: December & January - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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Queer Parenting > Queer & Pregnant: December & January
LibraryLady's Avatar LibraryLady 09:12 AM 12-12-2010

An excellent article I thought I'd share.  Keep up the good work, ladies!!

cejae's Avatar cejae 03:50 PM 12-12-2010

 Well, we've got names for Baby A and Baby B, as chosen by our 3 y/o.  You may now address them as Pinnochio and Bookshelf.

Coco99's Avatar Coco99 04:38 PM 12-12-2010

Bookshelf ???


Hum.... Bookie ? lol


We called ours the Turtles :)

DP doesnt speak english and hasnt read the Dr Seuss Books or else it would have been Thing one and Thing two !




LibraryLady's Avatar LibraryLady 06:36 PM 12-12-2010

Cejae~ I love it. You really can't do better than those.



Coco~ I'm sorry you missed an opportunity, but I guess Dr. Seuss wouldn't really translate very well.


We had a productive day.  Some friends came over and helped with the heavy lifting, and we cleared out lots of furniture and book boxes from what was my study and will now be the nursery. DP did a fab job sorting out random crap in the garage and then the ladies were able to move the dis-assembled daybed frame, etc, out into the garage. We also dealt with the results of a peculiarity of mine: box hoarding. I always think "These will be great for wrapping packages" etc, and save them, and then end up with vast numbers of empty boxes. But I was firm today and we took them all to the recycling. Yay! We're not going to paint until after the holiday spending season, but we're starting to get everything in shape. 

pigirl's Avatar pigirl 01:59 PM 12-13-2010

Coco, yay for the reassurance of standard deviations!  As a statistician, I'm right with you.


Library, I'm jealous of your nursery cleaning team!  I hope you guys have a lot of fun setting up the nursery together.  Do you have a theme in mind?


Cejae, I like those names.  They're related, no?  ;)  I hope the prison tour was free of barfing.  I can't imagine all those smells.  I can barely take my partner's leftovers reheating.


A couple folks here have mentioned being at risk for a preterm birth, and while I'm sure you will all carry big fat healthy babies to term, if you have any worries about what it's like to have an early baby please feel free to PM me.  My son was early (34w5d, PPROM) and spent a week in the hospital before we got to take him home.  I'd be happy to reassure about breastfeeding, what it's like in the NICU, etc.


No news here.  Still queasy and exhausted, and taking it day by day.  Is it the next trimester, yet?



LibraryLady's Avatar LibraryLady 07:31 PM 12-13-2010

Pigirl~ More cleaning today. Took the books and videos I cleaned out of the study to the Half Price and sold them. Extra cash always handy!  We're not doing a theme really, just a pleasant green color and nice furniture. And books! Lots of books!!


Quiet day on the boards today. Hope all is well xo

AmandaHope's Avatar AmandaHope 08:14 PM 12-13-2010

It *is* quiet today.  Library--sounds like satisfying organizing.  I love getting rid of stuff, especially when doing so involves cash. smile.gif 

I submitted my grades today--so relieved.  Whew!  DP is still frantically grading hers, though.  She's going to be up much of the night, since they are due in the morning. UGH. 

I'm so tired feeling tonight--slightly light-headed, a bit headachey...not sure if it is newly emerging pg symptoms, a cold (though I just had one), or something else. 

I visited a friend with a 3-week-old tonight.  The baby is SO SWEET, and it felt wonderful to hold her.  I used a few positions that the new parents hadn't seen, and I felt so competent and ready for another one of my own.  I can't wait!  (Oh, yes I can--my DD was 5 weeks early, so to clarify--I CAN wait until full term!).  Anyway, it felt great.  We visit one of the two area midwifery practices tomorrow.  I'm excited but a bit nervous to love them too much, since they are a full 45 minutes away.  I can't imagine being in hard labor in the car for 45 minutes (and that is without traffic!).

LibraryLady's Avatar LibraryLady 07:33 AM 12-14-2010

AHope~ Hooray for the end of grading! DP's giving her final exams today, then I'm going to help grade those (multiple choice) and then she'll be free to make me some mince pies and put up our tree.  Being a librarian's the best thing that happened to me,       school wise.  No more grading, no more parent conferences, it's bliss!!  How did the midwife visits go?  I hear you about being apprehensive for the drive. Our hospital's 30 mintues away, barring traffic, but the hospital in town is not an option as far as I'm concerned. They have a 50%  c-section rate, and even asked one of the women on our Bradley class who was there for a tour "So, are you being induced or having a c-section?"  WTF!!?!  I'd rather give birth in the car than be treated by people who  know in advance that they're going to manipulate you into whatever's most convenient for them. I hope you find someplace that makes you feel happy and comfortable.


Still feeling light and airy after jettisoning so much crud from the baby's room. We've found the color paint that matches the curtains/lamps and it's called Gleeful. I think that's a good omen.

AmandaHope's Avatar AmandaHope 07:50 AM 12-14-2010

Library: I love paint colors sometimes--Gleeful is great.  First midwife appt is this afternoon.  Like you, I live very close to a hospital with an extremely high c-section rate and a corporate board.  No way!  They don't have any midwives on staff.  This is a good story from a friend who gave birth two weeks ago: one of the OBs on her service (thankfully not the one at her birth, which turned out beautifully and intervention-free) responded to her comment that she did not want Pitocin at all, even for the afterbirth (which I guess is standard for him?!), by turning to her husband (who is a historian) and asking him what he would say to a student who insists that WWII started in 1912.  Why would a woman know anything about pregnancy or childbirth--clearly he's the expert whose patients should defer to his wisdom and authority.  I nearly choked on my tea at that story--good God.  What a misogynist a**hole.  So happy to have some good midwifery options!  I keep thinking about your little one punching and kicking you, and I can't wait to get to that point!  Those few months of pregnancy when I could feel the baby moving, keeping me company all the time, were some of the most amazing months of my life.  I feel so lucky to get to do it again.  Enjoy!

lisedea's Avatar lisedea 08:22 AM 12-14-2010

Please take my EDD off...I lost it. :(


I will be back soon!!!

LibraryLady's Avatar LibraryLady 08:34 AM 12-14-2010

HA! That's an excellent response to the doctor! And another brilliant illustration as to why I want women in charge of my birth. Because they'll know I'm actually as in charge as I can be, and they'll do what needs to be done for and with me, rather than themselves.   And yes, I'm loving feeling her wiggle around. I also kind of enjoy (for now) that she can't be felt from the outside. It's just us two .

Pearl1 09:13 AM 12-14-2010

miranda & danielle - i am so sorry for your loss. grouphug.gif


~ sarah

burg's Avatar burg 11:29 AM 12-14-2010

I am so very sorry for your loss,  Lisedea hug.gif

gumshoegirl007's Avatar gumshoegirl007 12:37 PM 12-14-2010

Big hugs out to you, Lisedea. hug.gif  I'm sorry to hear this.

cejae's Avatar cejae 02:50 PM 12-14-2010

 I'm really sorry, Lisedea.  Take care of yourself during this time.

Beastie's Avatar Beastie 12:23 PM 12-15-2010

So sorry, Lisadea. Thinking of you and your DP and sending love and strength.candle.gif

Beastie's Avatar Beastie 12:39 PM 12-15-2010

Hi all!  Like Cejae and AmandaHope and a whole bunch of you, I've been busy with the end of the semester!  Classes are done, but a final and a "miniconference" remain, along with lots of grading (Librarylady, let me know if you feel like grading more once you're done with your DP's load...).  BI'm relieved to be at the end of the semester, but totally unprepared for next semester and totally overwhelmed by my own overambitious goals for getting work done over the rbeak.  All I want to do is lounge about, eat carbs, and maybe watch bad tv!


Anyway, here goes an attempt at catching up on personals:


Cejae: I'd say vomiting at work is about as likely a way to get tenure as anything else!  I'm the first woman in my department to have a baby in about 20 years (thankfully, I have two colleagues who are also pregnant; a baby boom!), and the whole process is a strange negotiation. I'm glad your colleagues have been so supportive!Anyway, congrats on finishing teaching, and on finding names for Pinnochio and Bookshelf!


Gumshoe: Hooray for reaching 24 weeks and viability!  What good news. I loved what you said about the fetus becoming a human, and I remember that around 24 weeks was also when I realized that my fetus was cognizant, not some sort of extra organ I was growing, but its own being making its own decisions, etc. Strange (and magical) stuff!


Pigirl: Sorry to hear how nauseous you are, but yay for seeing a healthy heartbeat!  I hope the end of this trimester makes things easier. Also, thanks for sharing about rainbow Health. I had heard about their closing, and it's interesting to hear about how things are working out for returning customers there.


Coco: I am so happy about your healthy turtles!  I hope your DP is feeling renewed energy in these final weeks, and that you two get to celebrate two healthy babies very soon!


Abeecharmer: I agree with previous posters that you must be some sort of superwoman, to balance your toddler and your partner's long bedrest.  I'm glad that the contractions were a false alarm, and that you are getting closer and closer to full term for your twins.


Painefaria: Feel better soon!


LibraryLady: What a burst of nesting you are having!  Your Gleeful room sounds lovely, and I'm glad you managed to part with your box hoard. Our little baby room (more of an annex off of our room) is painted except for the window trim, and DP is delaying that job and making me crazy with waiting.  Realistically, I know our baby won't even sleep in there for months, but I'm itching to get things set up!


AmandaHope: Hooray for submitted grades!  How was your visit to the midwives? I hope you guys find a solution that works best for all your needs in delivering the baby not too far away but with care you trust.


AFM:   I am fighting off a cold and sporting a really attractive coldsore (any tips on treating the coldsore? I usually use an over the counter drug, but it's class B, and I don't think it's worth it.  On the other hand, there's nothing like the combo of a coldsore and new stretch marks to make a girl feel lovely...). Otherwise, this is my last official week int he second trimester, and I'm shifting gears toward getting ready for an actual baby! Exciting times.  Also, I'm planning a work/family trip to California next month, when I'll be 7.5 months pregnant. I've flown a lot already this pregnancy, but any tips for surviving at my biggest yet?


Hope all's well with everyone else... any news from MTNLisa or KimLynn?  Aren't they due soonish?






pigirl's Avatar pigirl 06:52 AM 12-16-2010

Lisedea, I'm so sorry for your loss.  candle.gif

LibraryLady's Avatar LibraryLady 08:23 AM 12-16-2010

Hey ladies~


Done with grading, but not done with this eternal week. SO READY to be home for the holiday break. DP's going to put up trees today and then I have to struggle through one last day of school before it's all about the sleeping in.  I'm actually almost done with my shopping too, so that's a treat. Yay!  Mostly I just want to do nothing....    I don't even have any exciting news or fun stories, just sleepy crankiness. Bah humbug!

Kjred's Avatar Kjred 11:12 AM 12-16-2010

Hey everyone--


my partner and I had our 6 week sonogram today and found out that there are two in there! We know that this could still change but we are so excited. And completely freaked out.

I've had terrible nausea for the past three days but my sea bands bracelets seem to have made me feel better. I might have to embroider "w"s on them because they make me feel like wonder woman. Now all I need is a lasso.

And an invisible jet.


I have no interest in doing any work, only in thinking about the two little ones in there!


And we keep telling people, even though we know we shouldn't.

painefaria's Avatar painefaria 11:22 AM 12-16-2010

Congrats Kredmon!love.gif  love.gif  How wonderful! 




I haven't taken zofran in 3 days!  I am feeling almost normal, I am not sure what to do with myself. 

mtnlisa's Avatar mtnlisa 11:30 AM 12-16-2010

 You all are so busy! I'm trying to keep busy with sleeping lots so that if I ever go into labor I won't be too tired :)


Welcome to the new folks, hope the sick ones feel better soon, and so sorry for lisedea--hope you come back soon.


I'm 40 weeks 5 days.  Yesterday at our weekly appointment our MW offered to strip membranes if I was sufficiently dilated (I haven't had an internal at any point during the pregnancy) to do so and we decided that would be fine.  We really want to deliver at the birth center and can't if we go past 42 weeks so we are getting down to crunch time.  I was maybe a tiny bit more than 1cm so she was able to strip--its not a comfortable procedure, but for me it was WAY better than the hsg I had before getting pregnant.  That was at 4pm yesterday, and I woke up this morning to losing, I would guess, most of the mucus plug.  I think this is a good sign and am hopeful that our baby will decide to come out sometime in the next week.  I also feel like going out in the woods by myself and I think this might be my feeling of nesting.

LibraryLady's Avatar LibraryLady 11:40 AM 12-16-2010

Kredmon~ WOW! So, how many sets of twins do we have baking right now on this board?   I only hope you can come up with excellent names like Pinnochio and Bookshelf. 


Mtnlisa~ Yikes. I can't imagine that anything called 'stripping membranes' would feel very good, but hopefully this will do the trick and you'll be on your way to having that little one in your arms any minute now.




Why isn't this week over yet? Hell, why isn't this DAY over yet? If only the kids were as tired as the teachers...

cejae's Avatar cejae 01:59 PM 12-16-2010

 Kredmon - TWINS!  Welcome to the club!  We found at at 6 weeks as well.  Sounds like you are doing a heck of a lot better than I was with nausea.  Lucky! I hear you about not wanting to work.  I'm behind on two deadlines already.  Yeesh. 


Painefaria - That's GREAT!  I'm so glad you are starting to feel better.


AFM, It is amazing how much better one feels (one being me) when not subsisting solely on simple carbs and sugar.  I have almost eaten normally today.  I even had kale for lunch!  Oh how I have missed my kale.  I'm also down to one Zofran in the morning and one promethazine at night.  So this is good!  I might even try walking on the treadmill this weekend.  I'm feeling wild and crazy, can't you tell? ;).

starling&diesel's Avatar starling&diesel 02:24 PM 12-16-2010

Just popping in to say ...

Kredmon!  Holy smoke-a-roni!  TWINS! TWINS!  Congratulations! Congratulations!  Wow!  Wow!

I'm not on this board just yet, but will POAS on Solstice (if I can wait that long).  Maybe you and I will have twins via queer donor embryo close together!  There's gotta be a TLC show in there somewhere, eh?

Be well, baby!  Be well, baby!  Stick!  Stick!

(I'm starting to feel like the goose in Charlotte's Web who said everything twice! Twice!)



AmandaHope's Avatar AmandaHope 02:34 PM 12-16-2010

Kredmon: Congratulations!  Wow--that IS exciting (and freaky, too, I'm sure).  Tell us more--do you  have any little ones already?  Were you secretly hoping for twins, or is this more upsetting news?  Either way, I'm sure it is an adjustment (Coco?  Cejae? Abeecharmer?).  Luckily, you are in good company on this board!  Glad the sea bands are helping with the nausea. Btw, we keep telling people, too. 


Beastie:  We had a great visit with the midwifery practice we visited on Tuesday, and we'll visit another one tomorrow.  I think I also found a doula, and she has worked closely with all the area midwives, so she should have some great advice.  Sorry about the coldsore--any better today?


Cejae: Yay for kale!  I've been chowing on dino kale (my fave) and chard since the tww.  Lots of spinach, too.  I've probably never been this full of vitamins.  I'm so glad you are feeling well enough to eat some familiar foods.


AFM: We had our 7 week u/s today and saw and heard the heartbeat.gif!  It was 136, and the embryo is measuring one day ahead--just perfect!  I wasn't really worried, but I'm surprised how relieved I feel.  It was emotional seeing the other women in the waiting room at the fertility clinic--I remember being there for pre-IUI bloodwork and seeing the pregnant women doing their own testing and consulting...you could tell because everyone was smiling around them and so excited.  I feel so fortunate, humble, and grateful.  Yay for my little blueberry (this week's size)!  joy.gif

cejae's Avatar cejae 03:00 PM 12-16-2010

Originally Posted by AmandaHope View Post

Kredmon: Congratulations!  Wow--that IS exciting (and freaky, too, I'm sure).  Tell us more--do you  have any little ones already?  Were you secretly hoping for twins, or is this more upsetting news?  Either way, I'm sure it is an adjustment (Coco?  Cejae? Abeecharmer?).  Luckily, you are in good company on this board!  Glad the sea bands are helping with the nausea. Btw, we keep telling people, too. 


Holy cow, yes it was an adjustment.  Still figuring out what extra stuff I need to buy!  Double jog stroller, another car seat, another crib mattress, another hiking backpack (our outdoor lifestyle stops for no one, not even twins!) and a freakin' minivan since I have no idea how all these guys would fit in our Lesbaru!


If any of the twin moms want to talk about babywearing I'd be so grateful.  Loved loved loved the Moby wrap with our first.  Looks like there are twin holds you can do with it.  But would love other ideas...


Great news about the blueberry!!

Kjred's Avatar Kjred 03:49 PM 12-16-2010


So good to hear we have company. I'm sure we'll need all the help we can get. I just keep thinking, what the heck are we gonna do with 2?--but I'm sure we'll figure it out. So, we're excited. We've tried so long and we knew from the start that we'd only be doing this once. She's 46 and wants to retire some day. I am really close with my sister so it is sweet to think that the little ones will get to have a sibling relationship. Of course, when I was driving back from the doctors office I realized that this meant two college funds...and lots more knitting! 


cajae, I was wondering about babywearing too. I was really looking forward to this and wondered if you could do it with two--I just saw an awesome video of youtube of a woman showing how to wear her two ten week old daughters. Of course I don't have a link, since that would be too easy, but I just searched babywearing twins and there are lots of videos.



Sterling-- I'm sending you stay baby stay vibes. Our TLC show is gonna be hot! 

Coco99's Avatar Coco99 05:13 PM 12-16-2010

Kredmon : Welcome to the Queer&Pregnant-with-twins gang ! There are many of us ! Wow ! The news was very happy AND unsettling for us when we found out at 7 weeks. It was quite a shock ! We spent like 4-5 days just repeating it to each other.... like it was going to change lol. I hope that your pregnancy isnt too complicated... unfortunately, as ABeeCharmer and We found out, it can be a challenge BUT isn't it SO worth it ??


Coco99's Avatar Coco99 06:36 PM 12-16-2010

Just wanted to share pics of the nursery :)

Its all done now :)

We are ready !!



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