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#121 of 524 Old 02-12-2011, 04:50 PM
 
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Gumshoe~ I'm crying now with the image of your DP asleep with the dog's ashes. That's so sad~ it's such a hard thing to go through. Hugs to you both.

And THANK YOU for your reminder to keep this all in perspective.  It's been a hard day, but I do have a lot of choices in my life, and so many people would be eager to have this be the worst thing that's happened to them all day.  

 

 

 

 

On a totally unrelated topic, I asked my friend what she thought of your dilemma, and here's what she said:

 

 

Oh, that is a very interesting dilemma, and one we are also likely to face. Well, here are my thoughts on the matter:

1.       Porn sites are highly likely to have viruses and spyware… and if he stumbles onto one in which the models/actresses are under 18, they could face legal issues, as well. I would forbid all internet porn, even for those reasons alone. Also, I have looked at internet porn (not frequently, mind you, and not for a long time) and know that you can easily get caught in a “webring” that makes lots more sites pop up, some more scary than others due to themes of racist/sexist violence.

2.       While sexuality is innate, what we find sexy is learned. So I would be less concerned about naked women still images like in Playboy, but highly concerned about ongoing exposure to anything with violence or control as a theme or undertone. Since he is 13, his ideas of what sex is and might be like will be very influenced with what he sees and hears. Even milder porn often appears to be about women pleasing men and not vice versa, which can therefore lead to very unrealistic expectations. Same with images of women’s bodies. A study was done that found that when men view Playboy type images, they rate their girlfriends/wives as less attractive. The same was not true of women because for us, sexuality tends to be more contextual and more about emotional closeness.

3.       I think the role of parents in cases like this would be to disallow any porn whatsoever. It is much like disallowing alcohol, tobacco, and drug use. Even if you are pretty sure they will sneak it, anyway, permitting it will likely increase the behavior. It has been found that parents who take the approach of allowing their kids to drink alcohol but only in their homes actually negatively influence their kids and the kids drink more alcohol both at home and away from home. Yes, he will likely sneak it anyway, but I’d make it as hard as possible to do. One well-worn magazine that he hides for several years is plenty in my opinion. A former boss of mine kept a lingerie catalogue hidden under his mattress for years as a teen and that was sufficient. Yes, I know times have changed and I’m old, but still.

4.       I do actually know of people who were truly addicted to porn. That can interfere a great deal with the development of healthy sexual relationships later. Books with words and no pictures that are written for teens and young adults and contain sexual themes might satisfy his curiosity some and allow him to develop his own images. I would be way less concerned about them.

5.       I do love that they talked with him about objectification… and did not shame him or any of that. It is totally natural for kids to seek out sexual information and images. I found my dad’s porn collection (VHS) when I was a senior in high school and watched them. I did not become warped because of them (and they were not violent), but I did get some distinct impressions of sex and sexiness that did influence my thinking and went unquestioned for quite a while.

 

 

 

 

Very interesting points, I thought.  She's a very smart woman and I respect her opinions for sure. I'm sorry if you felt like I was telling your bizness to someone~ I guess I didn't think of that until just now!!  

 

AHope~ Thanks for your contribution to the perspective.  I wish I could have shared that cookie!!

 

It would be wonderful to be in a coffee shop all together right now.    I love you guys...

 


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#122 of 524 Old 02-13-2011, 06:31 AM
 
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Perfect timing for your shout out, Amandahope, because I just today returned to the boards after a long and inexplicable absence. I think I just suddenly had so much on my plate that even fun online chatting was feeling like an extra obligation? Anyway, I'm here now, and while catching up on personals is impossible, I do want to welcome Chloe, Charlie, and Reed!!!

 

Things here are good: 35 weeks pregnant, and this baby has been consistently head down for weeks, so I'm hoping s/he stays this way! I'm still working, and I think the academania is getting to me, too. I'm holding it together, but am counting down the four weeks until Spring Break (which is my official planned time to take a short leave, and is also week 40)!  On top of teaching a grad class that's a whole new prep for me, and an undergrad survey, I'm also on an appointments committee that's doing 4 hires. I know we're lucky to be able to hire so many people, but that means, for me, 12 extra interviews, 12 job talks, and tons of dinners, etc. All when I just want to nap!

 

Physically, I'm huge, and I've developed pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel, so I have achy/numb hands. Does anyone have a miracle cure? I'm working on it in acupuncture, but no success so far. Emotionally, I'm pretty wiped out, and I spend the weekend gathering my resources to make it through another long work week. One of my closer pregnancy friends lost her baby this month, and not only was that scary in general and heartbreaking in particular, but it's also left me sad that I can't better support her (seeing a pregnant lady isn't what she needs right now) and a little guilty about reveling in these final weeks of pregnancy.

 

All things considered, everything is good. I can't wait for this baby to show up!

 

Much love to all of you...


Joyful, busy, often overwhelmed queer academic mama to an awesome toddler and:

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#123 of 524 Old 02-13-2011, 06:58 AM
 
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beastie, good to "see" you! boy, it's sounds like you've been busy.... i had also just wondered where you where in my last post that got lost, so you must've been reading our minds! as for pg induced carpal tunnel... the only relief i have is icing my hands and wrists, i've tried acu and chiro and though they both feel good, it doesn't make the numb/tingling ache go away like ice. i've had some luck recently with my night splint as well. it wasn't going very well before, i'd wake with it thrown across the room! redface.gif

library, i found your friends advice very interesting... i think they brought up some really good points!

gumshoe, sending my love in this difficult time... i can't even imagine loosing my pup so suddenly and unexpectedly. hug.gif to you and DP (and kiddos)

as for the coffee shop meeting.... i wan't to go to there! even though we haven't been feeling the financial tension (yet)... youse guys have got me a bit worried... i am planning on quitting my job to become a SAHM and i'm already feeling nervous about it. redface.gif i mean, we have a budget all figured out and everything, plus i have a summer job for 9 weekends where i make really easy cash but still! what if my washer breaks, tire goes flat, we hit a deer, have vet emergencies, have to help out family and friends, etc, etc, etc AND THEN our kid gets sick or something?! ugh... what a tough decision! i need a cup!!!

anyway, not to take away from all of your hardships... hopefully everything will be in order for when our babes arrrive! smile.gif

afm, thanks for the props on my belly pic! i love the outfit i'm wearing because it not only looks cute but is sooo comfortable! now if i only had some shoes/boots to go with it! i can't even wear it out of the house because i have nothing to put on my swollen feet that even remotely goes with it! boo!!

 


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#124 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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Hey ladies~ Monday morning, for sure.  The car's going to the body shop for deer damage repair, looks like we're going to have to rent a car for the rest of the week, ugh!  But I've missed my last two baby appointments due to the snow, I can't miss another!   New washing machine won't be delivered until the 23rd, but we went to the laundromat yesterday so at least we have tea towels and socks. I'm hoping for a dull week with no traumas, please!!  The fun baby news is that she's had hiccups every day, sometimes two or three times a day, which is kind of adorable.

 

 

Beastie~ Good to hear from you again! I think I have the carpal tunnel syndrome as well. No pain, but my hands go numb at random times and I have to clench fists and wiggle my fingers to get them to come to life again. I'm sorry about your friend's m/c. It must be tough having to keep away from her, but it sounds like it's the right thing to do at present. Maybe you can send her lots of notes and emails and that might help a bit.  DO revel in these last few weeks. Take as many naps as you can!!!
 

Wehrli~ Meet you at the coffee shop! I hope the evil financial fairy stays away from your house for a while!  It's certainly no fun. Grrr!!

 

Nothing much, just a Monday morning. I'm about to teach almanac skills to 3rd graders. Wish me luck!


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#125 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 12:39 PM
 
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Beastie: So good to hear from you!  You sound painfully busy.  I can't believe you are searching for FOUR positions! That's NUTS.  Who put you on that committee?  It seems to me that you could use a chair who is more cognizant of work/life balance and who doesn't let you get onto such an onerous committee in your third trimester of pregnancy.  My chair would never have let me do that.  Hang in there, and please try to give yourself a break whenever you can.  Also, what kind of leave are you planning?  I'm afraid it doesn't sound like much.

 

Library: Here's to an uneventful week for you!

 

AFM:  We're having a girl!  Just found out this morning  at an amazing u/s where we saw the hemispheres of the brain, little feet, and a button nose.  So sweet!  I can't believe I'm going to be the mom of two girls!  (I really thought it was a boy).  But I'm also thrilled.  It feels a bit strange to know at all.  And now we are in a naming dilemma, because while DP and I agree easily on boy names, we hardly ever agree on girls' names.  My Down's (and other chromosomal abnormalities) risk has now been downgraded to as low as it goes--about 1 in 5000.  So relieved. And I'm definitely feeling movement now. LOVE IT.  Finally, I found out that I actually have (barely) enough sick days not to teach at all in the fall!  YAY!!  I'll still technically be responsible for research and service, but those are nearly perfectly flexible.  I can't believe it--baby due on Aug. 3 and not teaching until late Jan.  It feels like a dream come true.  Fingers crossed that all the paperwork goes through ok.  


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#126 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 01:04 PM
 
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SO.MANY.GIRLS. it makes me feel like there is NO WAY i could be having one...

on that note, AHope, CONGRATS on having another little girl!!! love.gif is Zoe thrilled or what?! also, yay for having a nice big chunk of time home with your new little bundle!!!!! sweet!

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#127 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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AHope~  Thank Heaven for little girls!!! Little girls with brain hemispheres and all the other good stuff! That's so wonderful!  It was tough for us too, since we'd narrowed it down to just a few boy names, then the girl name wormcan was opened up wide!  That's so excellent, though, and I'll bet your daughter's thrilled to be having a sister (oh, just you wait, little one!!)   And DOUBLE HOORAY for getting to take the semester off!!!  That's maybe the best news of all

 

Wehrli~ You're still my psychic baby twin.  We both had the 'it's a boy' feeling with all the girl dreams, mine's a girl, I'm very eager to see what yours turns out to be. Besides awesome, but we already knew that....

 

 

I've been having a lot of Braxtton Hicks today~ ouchie!


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#128 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 01:59 PM
 
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Hi gals:

 

I have to emote here. I'm having such difficulties with the first trimester thing. I opted not to continue with blood tests and so my fertility docs (part of Kaiser) said, "Okay, fine. Then just go over to regular OB/GYN care to make your first appointment." So I asked them why they were doing that when they had been working with me this whole time and my understanding was my first ultrasound would be with them? Then they come back and say, "Fine, come in for a 6.5 week ultrasound next week."

 

So in trying to de-stress by not continuing to monitor my BHCG levels, I'm back to being stressed again! What if they don't find a gestational sac or a heart flutter? There's so much different stuff on the Internet that says whether they can detect anything at 6 weeks that even resembles a heartbeat.

 

I didn't think I'd stress nearly this much if I actually got pregnant. I'm really hating it and it's kind of making me depressed.

 

Krista


me (40) DP (47) TTC since April 2010, 5 IUIs & 6 at home w/ fresh
Short luteal phase, septum resection in Sept 2011
Jan 2011 a BFP! Try #11 angel.gif 8w2d (blighted ovum)
April 2011 BFP! Try #12 angel.gif 9w2d (no heartbeat)

Nov 2011 BFP! Try #14 angel.gif 8w0d (twins, no heartbeat)

June 2012 -- Moving onto IVF with PGD

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#129 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 02:28 PM
 
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Krista: I had a 5 week u/s (where they saw a sack) and a 7 week u/s (where they saw the heartbeat).  The RE told me that they usually did one at 6 weeks but that they may or may not be able to see the heartbeat; if not, they scheduled another one at 7 weeks.  So I opted to skip the six week u/s and just do the seven week one to avoid stress.  At 6.5 weeks, you have a good shot of seeing a heartbeat, but if they can't, you'll have to wait a week and try again.  Could you push the u/s up just a few days to 7 weeks to give yourself some insurance against unnecessary anxiety? 

 

The thing is, that as long as you aren't bleeding, you are in good shape!  There is a chance of early m/c, of course, which is scary, but I'd urge you to try to assume the best.  There is every reason to think that your little one is burrowed in nicely now and developing rapidly and normally.  What can you do to help yourself feel more secure in early pregnancy?  You could try a prenatal yoga video, some pregnancy guided meditations, a browse through Motherhood Maternity, a LLC meeting....  Try repeating to yourself, "I am pregnant, the baby is developing normally, and everything is ok" or something equally cheesy.  Also, do you think that scheduling an appt with your OBGYN would help you feel that you are moving forward?  It felt good to me to get away from my RE, as wonderful as the nurses were there.  I associated that place with ttc, and I wanted to move on to pregnancy.   It is true that pregnancy can be very stressful, but it doesn't have to be.  You'll need to dig deep down to find some calmness and trust in your body and in the fetus' body to do what they know to do.  Big hugs--I'm sorry this is so hard.  It does get better!


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#130 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 02:38 PM
 
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i'm sorry krista... it's hard. my whole first trimester was a bit like that due to the fact that my first pregnancy ended in m/c. i wish i knew how you could make it less stressful... hang in there. hug.gif

DP and I  rainbow1284.gif together since 2001, brokenheart.gif 4/10,  pos.gif 7/10
DS - planned h20homebirth.gif born via ribboncesarean.gif 4/4/2011
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#131 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 05:05 PM
 
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Krista, I found this information about visible heart rates and Beta numbers
Quote:
Conventional wisdom is that you won't see anything on ultrasound until your hCG levels exceed 1,000 mIU/mL. However, the gestational sac has been visualized with transvaginal ultrasound at levels as low as 300. In the majority of pregnancies, a sac should be visible when levels exceed 2,000. A yolk sac is commonly seen in normal pregnancies once hCG tops 2,500; an embryonic pole is expected at 5,000; and a heartbeat is seen in the majority of normal pregnancies when levels reach 10,000.



Which is very similar to the numbers that my OB gave me last year...

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#132 of 524 Old 02-14-2011, 06:05 PM
 
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Hi Everyone!!

Thank you all so much for your congrats and well wishes!

 

Burg - Big congrats! She's beautiful and I love the hair! Did you have a lot of heartburn? I heard that old wives' tale about heartburn and baby hair is true because high estrogen levels grow baby hair and cause the heartburn.

 

Coco - I don't know how you do it with twins! Hats off to all the twin mamas and twin-mamas-to-be!

 

Please forgive me for not doing more personals. I've been trying to follow along on my phone as I'm nursing, but these forums are popping and I've fallen behind! Just wanted to pop in and share a few pics and tell you all how WONDERFUL first-time motherhood is! DP and I could not love this baby any more! I'm thrilled to report that she's doing really well, is very healthy, and nurses like a champ! After a very rough pregnancy and an awful labor and delivery (c-section recovery SUCKS, by the way), I am so thrilled that breastfeeding has gone well. That was really important to me and I guess the rough 9 months is a fair trade off for the ease with breastfeeding. I'll take it! :)

 

I hope you're all doing well, and I hope to be able to pop into the forums a bit more now that things are settling down a bit.

 

P.S. I hope everything I wrote makes sense. I'm a little tired! LOL

 

IMG_0012.JPGIMG_0182.JPG


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#133 of 524 Old 02-15-2011, 05:59 AM
 
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She's aDORable, korey!!! Glad to hear that BF going well... That's a GREAT consolation prize after the rough pregnancy and birth! So happy for you! Enjoy a every moment, you deserve it!!! love.gif

Ps. Your post made perfect sense

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#134 of 524 Old 02-15-2011, 08:00 AM
 
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Korey~ She is SUCH a sweetie! I"m sure you're worn out, etc, but how worth it!!!  Just gorgeous, and I"m so glad that BF is going well, after everything you've been through. Even if you're not here all the time, thanks for keeping in touch xo

 

 

Krista~ BIGGEST HUGS to you. I can't imagine the exhausting stress you must be feeling right now, and the unhelpful insurance people don't improve it any.  I can't offer anything useful except for my support. Keep us posted and we'll be thinking of you every moment.

 

 

No news here. Sleepy, but that's about it.


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#135 of 524 Old 02-15-2011, 10:17 AM
 
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Korey: she is so cute! I love the hair and the way it comes down in a little peak. So adorable. <sigh>

 

Thanks to everyone for your support. I fought it out (over email of all things) with the nurses office and basically, they will just see me for the 6.5 week check next week. And I think it's debatable as to what they will see. They keep wanting to "rule out ectopic" but I don't have any of the risk factors for it so I'm just trying to remain positive. I think I'm more at risk for a blighted ovum and that just requires more time and more patience (of which I feel I have none at this point).

 

Anyway, I know I'll never stop worrying but this is kicking my butt. I'll let you know how it goes after next week.

 

Krista


me (40) DP (47) TTC since April 2010, 5 IUIs & 6 at home w/ fresh
Short luteal phase, septum resection in Sept 2011
Jan 2011 a BFP! Try #11 angel.gif 8w2d (blighted ovum)
April 2011 BFP! Try #12 angel.gif 9w2d (no heartbeat)

Nov 2011 BFP! Try #14 angel.gif 8w0d (twins, no heartbeat)

June 2012 -- Moving onto IVF with PGD

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#136 of 524 Old 02-15-2011, 12:21 PM
 
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Korey ! She is ADORABLE !!!!! Congrats !!!!!


Celebrating the arrival of our twins twins.gifCharlie & Chloe, born Jan 28th 2011 !

 


 

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#137 of 524 Old 02-15-2011, 03:01 PM
 
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Korey: Congratulations again--what a sweety!  I'm thrilled to hear that the nursing is going well.  After all that trouble with the pregnancy and birth, you earned an easy time of it!  Isn't it just the most amazing and comforting thing?  Sigh.  I can't wait. 

 

Krista: Hang in there!

 

AFM: Still adjusting to the girl thing.  I didn't realize how convinced I'd been that it was a boy.  To my surprise, DD was disappointed.  She'd apparently also gotten attached to the idea of a boy.  She voiced the sense of finality that I've been feeling too: our family will ALWAYS be a family of all girls/women.  Not that there is anything *wrong* with this...but it is just strange to know that this will be our family's final form.  We had a fun brainstorming session with names last night.  We won't pick for sure until the babe is born, but current contenders include Clio, Calliope/Callie, Daphne (too Scooby Do?), Miriam, Ariel, and Alexis/Alex.  There are others we love but which are just too common.  We ended up with a trendier name than we mean to with DD, so we're trying to stay away from the lovely but popular ones right now.  As you can tell, we tend to like Greek names (no particular reason).  Feel free to throw out ideas! 


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#138 of 524 Old 02-15-2011, 03:24 PM
 
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AHope, aww... how sweet your girl was hoping for a boy! and how neat that she had the thought about the finality of the structure of your family... she sounds like such a bright, sweet girl! i just wanted to throw my 2cents.gif in about the names, as i work in a dental laboratory and see hundreds of childrens names per day. Alexis/Alex and all forms of it are really popular now... i see at least 2-3 come across my desk every.single.day. it's cute, and also seems to be used for boys and girls alike, but popular. i'd say the age range of the children that i see cases for is probably 6-14yo. oh, and i don't think daphne is too "scooby doo", especially since it's not popular like it was when we were growing up. i think you have a pretty good start on some great names! orngbiggrin.gif

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DS - planned h20homebirth.gif born via ribboncesarean.gif 4/4/2011
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#139 of 524 Old 02-15-2011, 08:47 PM
 
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AHope~ I love your name choices! I love Greek names (and Greek history) and I seriously like Daphne. Lyidia too. We also thought about Iris, and I would still go for any of those. I too was convinced my baby was a boy and was stunned when I heard otherwise. It must be a big shift, though, to think about this being all of your family, true.  

 

Krista~ Ugh! I'm so sorry you have to go through all this stress.  Everything crossed for you xoxo

 


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#140 of 524 Old 02-16-2011, 07:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Whoa, I'm out of the loop!!!  Catch up time.  I, too, would love a meet up at a coffee shop.  And since we're fantasizing, there'd be really good coffee at this place and I'd want to drink it!

 

LibraryLady - Thank you for talking to your friend about our "porn issue."  There's some good food for thought in her email, so please thank her on my behalf.  It's such a challenge being a parent and balancing rules around such things like porn when it's really not a black and white issue (just like alcohol and drugs).  Our kids don't have the capacity to think through the consequences of their actions and their critical thinking skills are just beginning to develop.  It's really difficult to set boundaries that are clear within these parameters. 

 

I'm also pleased to report that while Gus is still in our bed, his box has been moved to the foot of the bed (which was his nighttime sleeping spot, during the day, he'd sleep on my pillow), and DW is slowing working through where he will permanently reside.  She's not ready yet, and that's okay.  I also note that if someone else were to tell me this story I'd think that they were absolutely bonkers.  This, as peculiar as it is, feels right.

 

Beastie - Here's to hoping the baby stays head down and you survive the final few weeks of work.  I can totally relate with the exhaustion factor and still trying to put in effective time at work.  Trying to keep up and be effective is exhausting in and of itself.  With respect to carpel tunnel, have you tried Traumeel?  It's a homeopathic cream for aches, pains and inflammation.  I don't have carpel tunnel, but it's been wondrous on my back and abs.

 

AmandaHope - A girl!  Congrats!!  That's wonderful news.  I also have my fingers crossed that it works out you'll have sick leave from August to January so that you don't have to teach.

 

Krista - Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting.  The worry starts early, eh?  Joking aside, the first trimester is scary because there is so much that can happen.  It's important to reflect that most of what happens is good and that odds are on your side that things will work out in you and your baby's favour.  Sending you positive thoughts.

 

Korey - She's absolutely beautiful and I'm so happy to hear from someone that breastfeeding is going well.  I feel like I hear more breastfeeding horror stories than anything else.  I hope that I'm as lucky as you.

 

Wehrli - I hope your feet stay as is (or get smaller).  Water retention sucks!!!

 

AFU - Something is finally going our way!!!  We had our un-shower tea party on the weekend and it was so lovely to see many of our friends.  We were gifted some lovely and thoughtful items for the baby and we were so grateful for that.  Now we need to sort through the registry and purchase the last of the outstanding items (and somehow balance our budget)!

 

On Monday, I got the test results from my hematologist and I don't have Von Willebrand's disease (one of the most common blood clotting disorders) which means I'm cleared for my homebirth!  I meet with my midwife this afternoon and will get to move forward with the planning part of this.

 

DW applied for a new job a few weeks ago, and got the first screening interview on Monday.  I think she may be too expensive and experienced for them so we don't know if it will go anywhere, but I'm so proud of her for applying (she hates applying for things) and this just gives her the boost of confidence in her abilities to move forward and make the next career move.

 

This infusion of good news is a much welcome reprieve from the challenges of the last few months.  Being more of a "glass half empty" kind of girl, I'm going to hold on to this for as long as I possibly can. orngbiggrin.gif

 

 


DW and I are moms to two teens (DD 17 and DS 15) adopted through CAS in 2007 and a toddler (DD 2) born at home in March 2011.

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#141 of 524 Old 02-16-2011, 09:38 AM
 
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Wehrli: Thanks for the name feedback.  Alex was DD's idea, and I'm not surprised it is popular.  I'm not that crazy about it, anyway, so we'll knock that one off the list.

 

Library: Glad you like the names!  Iris is a nice option--DP (who teaches Greek Mythology every semester) says that Iris is the goddess of the rainbow.  How perfect for a kid of two moms! wink1.gif

 

Gumshoe: Glad you are finally getting some good news around your parts.  Good luck to your DP on the job!  And it is incredibly exciting that you get to have a home birth.  If my insurance covered it, I'd seriously consider it (planned a home birth with DD, but then she came early).  I hope you have an incredible birth in the comfort of your own home. 

 

Krista: Welcome to another day of pregnancy!  Every day counts in that first difficult trimester.  As for symptoms, all I had was tender breasts and frequent urination.  That's it.  For weeks. Eventually, fatigue set in and just lifted in the last two weeks or so.  It can be worrisome not to have symptoms, but it doesn't necessarily portend anything bad.  Every day is a success, and I'm hoping that your u/s next week will give you peace of mind. 


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#142 of 524 Old 02-16-2011, 11:31 AM
 
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Wehrli – Nice belly pic! I’m so sorry about the SPD. Did they give you anything for the pain? If this means anything to you, I let the midwives and OBs in my practice convince me not to be a martyr and to take pain meds. I wanted a natural birth because I didn’t want to pump the baby full of drugs. Ironically, I’ve taken more drugs in the last 10 months than I have in the last 10 years combined, and the baby is a-ok. ;-)

 

AHope – Congrats on your little girl! I really thought you were having a boy, too. And I can’t believe how long this string of Q&P girls is! Also, since you asked for opinions, I love the name Calliope/Callie!

 

Krista – I understand your anxiety, and also your decision to stop the betas. Sometimes the tests cause even more anxiety! Try to stay positive until your ultrasound. As for symptoms, my midwife told me they tend to kick in between 6 and 8 weeks, and that certainly proved true for me!

 

Here’s something that will hopefully make you laugh: you mentioned that you liked the widow’s peak on the baby’s hairline. Well, when my brother came to visit us in the birth center, he took one look at the baby and said, “She has my hairline!” His hair is receding. LOL

Library – How is pregnancy treating you? Are you having any problems? You seem to be very happy and enjoying the experience. Good for you!

 

Cejae – Thanks for sharing about your DS’ birth. It was good to hear that I wasn’t alone in my birth experience. And I’ve heard a lot of similar stories since! It was really disappointing, but you’re right: happy and healthy is what really matters. Hope you’re still feeling good!

 

Gumshoe – I am so, so sorry for the loss of your dog. I totally understand. I lost a dog about 2 years ago and it completely devastated me. She really was my first baby. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to lose your beloved dog while you’re pregnant. Best to you and your DW.

 

As for breastfeeding, I have to tell you, I do understand how people give it up so easily. The beginning was hard. Luckily, the nurses at the birth center were fantastic. For the first 24 hours after the c-section, the nurses would just shove my breast into her mouth because I was so out of it. (I actually got a nipple infection from a bad latch that day, and it’s only been healed for about 2 days!) The next day, Monday, the lactation consultant came in and spent so much time with us! She really helped me learn how to latch the baby. I have to say, it was not intuitive for me. I really did need to be taught. But I was determined to make it work because we have cow’s milk allergies in my family so BF is really important to me.

Then, because of my c-section, my milk was delayed. The baby lost 10% of her body weight and became dehydrated, and the pediatrician in the hospital insisted we supplement her with formula. They worked with us to give her a formula that was not soy, but was hypoallergenic. Then I had to nurse, pump for 15 minutes, and finger feed her with a tube. Each feeding took 90 minutes!!! It was really difficult. Luckily, when we got out of the birth center and saw the pediatrician the next day, she told me to take her off the supplement, nurse her on demand, and my milk would come in in no time. She was right, and the baby has been gaining an ounce a day, right on target! I’m really thankful the pediatrician was so supportive of BF!

 

Anyway, the whole point of me sharing all this is to tell you to stick to your guns! BF may or may not be easy for you at first. But with the right support, you can make it work!

 

AFM – I guess I’m going to head on over to Queer and Newborn. I’ll follow along here, though, and I can’t wait for you all to join me!


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#143 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 08:35 AM
 
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Gumshoe~ Glad to see you again (and glad I didn't offend with sharing your dilemma with another. Glad she gave you some food for thought. 

 

 

AHope~ Not only do I like the name Iris, but we love the rainbow association too. Several people have unwittingly suggested names like Willow and Ellen, but I don't think it's a good idea for lesbians to name their kids names like that. I guess that also rules out Melissa, Martina and k.d.   Ah well...

 

 

Korey~ I'm glad you've been having breastfeeding success. I've heard it's easy to give up, but I'm glad you stuck it out. The hairline comment was hilarious!!  I'm glad you're still visiting us sometimes. Keep posting the pix!  Pregnancy's going great with me~ it's not been as hard as I thought at any point. The worst symptom I've been having is heartburn and the carpal tunnel that makes my hands go numb. So I'm luckier than most!!

 

 

AFM~ Finally got to my midwife checkup yesterday, it had been about 6 weeks, since it kept getting postponed due to the SNOWPOCALYPSE!  I weigh over 200 lbs now, which is disheartening (I'm 4' 11") but I swear it's all baby.  I've not put on fat anywhere, and my giant belly is hard as a rock! But yeah, it was a bit of a trauma looking at the scale.               Aspidistra's doing well, head down, they even got her to 'startle' so her heart rate went up and then went back down, which was apparently a really good sign.  And then to ease my concern about her not being active enough, she's kicked me solidly since 5:30 this morning.

 

Long day at work today. The regular school day, then parent conferences, so I'm keeping the book fair open until about 8 tonight. zzzzzzzzz

 


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#144 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 12:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Korey - So much for thinking that I'd finally heard of someone who had an easy breast feeding experience!  That sounds like pure hell and kudos to you for persevering.  I'm psyching up and prepping myself for all of the challenges I hear/have read about.  If nothing else, us queers are tenacious.  I'm planning for it to be hard, but I'm secretly hoping that the universe might throw me a bone on this one and make it easy.  Hoping...

 

LibraryLady - Me offended?  It'll take a lot more than that. winky.gif  I'm glad to hear that you finally were able to see your MW, and I relate on the 200lbs thing.  The scale hit 194lbs at my MW appt yesterday (gaining 35lbs during this pregnancy will bring me right to the 200lbs mark).  Although, I've got 9 inches on you at 5"8!  I have a feeling that if we were to hold a "difficulty rolling over in bed competition" that you might clean my clock!  (This isn't offensive is it?  I know many people get sensitive when people talk about the size of their bumps.  I think the amazing diversity is beautiful!)

 

AFU - I went to my MW appt yesterday and aside from gaining slightly more weight than I wanted to at this point in time, our little babe has decided to be on the move and is transverse again...grrrr...irked.gif.  She had her butt near my ribs on the right and her head close-ish to my pelvis on the right.  At my 32w appt, she had been head down!  My birthing ball is my new BFF. I will see my chiro next week, and then I'm supposed to get some acupuncture, too.  Spinning babies also recommends inversions, so I'll figure out how all that works tonight.  My MW scheduled me for an u/s next Friday at 35w to make sure she's re-assumed the head down position.  Today, however, her butt not in my ribs.  There's been lots of action down low and against my cervix (ouch!).  I'm hoping that it's hands dancing and not feet...but I'm not quite sure.


DW and I are moms to two teens (DD 17 and DS 15) adopted through CAS in 2007 and a toddler (DD 2) born at home in March 2011.

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#145 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 01:21 PM
 
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Gumshoe~ No offense, certainly. It was a shock to see the scale register so high, but I am full of baby. I mean, it's not like 'Gee, I can't stay away from Taco Bell and now I weigh 200lbs'.  Rolling over in bed is a pretty miserable experience. Just getting in bed, getting myself arranged and moving all the pillows to their proper place leaves me actually winded. Getting my shoes on is a joke!  I'm sorry your baby's transverse, but there's still time to get them moved around.  Have you done that rebozo thing? DP was very keen to try it, but it was just so silly I couldn't stop laughing.

 

So hungry. It's time for my mid-afternoon snack. This comes shortly after my early afternoon snack, and before my late-afternoon snack.


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#146 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 01:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LibraryLady - Oh I'm so glad that you weren't offended!  I, too, was a bit shocked at the scale.  The only difference is that I know I haven't been eating as well as I should. blush.gif  Pregnancy has led to fast food cravings. Normally I'd eat fast food once a month, if at all.  Now, I eat it once a week or more???  I just can't get full.  No amount of apples and almonds, granola bars, carrots and hummus, or yogurt will fill me up.  I'm hungry ALL of the time. I don't really like green foods anymore. I really like chocolate everyday. orngbiggrin.gif  Hence that's why I've been gaining more like 2+ pounds a week in the third trimester.  I know that whatever I put on, I have to take off, and I'm so not looking forward to that part.

 

I hear you about being all baby.  The only part of me that's bigger is my belly.  And my face apparently.  DW says that my cheeks are chubby.  In the last few days, I'm feeling water retention for the first time.  My fingers are sore and my feet, too.

 

But, rolling over in bed is just pathetic!  And, frankly (TMI), so is sex.  I'm now the most lazy lover my wife has ever had!  Whatever position we start in is where we end.


DW and I are moms to two teens (DD 17 and DS 15) adopted through CAS in 2007 and a toddler (DD 2) born at home in March 2011.

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#147 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 01:49 PM
 
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HI all,

 

Sorry I've been MIA.  It's the last week of the block (I teach one class at a time for 3.5 weeks - intense) and very hectic around these parts!

 

Krista, stick to your guns!  You are with Kaiser, no?  When DP carried kidlet #1 she was with Kaiser.  And though she was 33 and totally low risk, because she had gone through their assisted repro program for IUIs (12 bucks per IUI, can't beat that!) she was treated as high risk the second she became pregnant.  As soon as she got a positive test they wanted her on progesterone etc etc (having no history of luteal phase defect or anything else that would necessitate progesterone).  We decided to heck with all this and found a different practice to watch her through her pregnancy.  Kaiser has a standard treatment protocol that doesn't leave much room for individual difference.

 

Gumshoe, I hope you get the little one to turn around!!

 

Library, I hear you on the weight.  Little 5'2'' me is up around 183 at this point.  There's no way I'm finishing out this pregnancy under 200 pounds!  And I have sexy-licious cankles.  Did I mention I'm just hitting 21 weeks?  And that before this whole IVF process I weighed 135?  So I get the turning over thing - it's brutal!  Not to mention the bending down thing!

 

AFM, the twins are moving up a storm, which is really fun.  Crazy heartburn which is not so fun.  Three weeks of no puking which is very fun!  I even look forward to eating most of the time now.  And I'm back to loving my veggies.  Our former nanny is back in town to take care of DS for the weekend so DP and I can go away (best Christmas present ever!).  So I'm looking forward to a weekend of reading, playing games and relaxing.  And this past week I found out that I got an article accepted and my first book is being reissued in a second edition!  It's been a good week :). 


Professional nerd, DP to Megan and mommy to 3 y/o Bam Bam . TTC since January '09.  Welcomed our new babes May 22, 2011. Now living life in the NICU one day at a time.
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#148 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 03:36 PM
 
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Gumshoe~ I'm amazed you're still having sex!  I've been so much not in the mood DP asked me if I still found her attractive. Oops!  Totally didn't intend that (and did my best to correct the notion...) but mostly I'm just in bed and so sleepy and incapable of rolling over.   My fingers are really fat too, intermittently throughout the day. They swell up and my hands go numb, and then I wiggle my fingers and they get better for a while. I've avoided the cankles SO FAR. Let's hope my luck holds!

 

Cejae~ Yay for you and your studly publishing accomplishments!!   And double yay for a weekend away while you can eat a lot and still move around!  I've been loving my veggies too, and then I get heartburn, so it's a tradeoff.  As for bending over, forget it!  I grunt and groan so much it's a comedy. 

 

 

Late night at work running the book fair. The PTA just fed us dinner, now I have to try not to fall asleep...


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#149 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 04:21 PM
 
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this is a public service announcement to request that all you ladies with bumps post [new] pics! orngbiggrin.gif

DP and I  rainbow1284.gif together since 2001, brokenheart.gif 4/10,  pos.gif 7/10
DS - planned h20homebirth.gif born via ribboncesarean.gif 4/4/2011
)O( treehugger.gif nocirc.gif winner.jpg cd.gif greenthumb.gif earth.gif whale.gif
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#150 of 524 Old 02-17-2011, 04:27 PM
 
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Gumshoe, Sex?  Seriously?  Wow.  You go girl.  That's so not where my brain is that I just glossed right over that part!  DP and I are trying to figure out how we could even make that work this weekend given my ginormity and inability to move! 

 

Library, you can make it through this day. 

 

Wherli,  I promise, a "bump" picture as soon as I have one myself. 


Professional nerd, DP to Megan and mommy to 3 y/o Bam Bam . TTC since January '09.  Welcomed our new babes May 22, 2011. Now living life in the NICU one day at a time.
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