Queer Baby Books... do they exist? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 25 Old 03-03-2011, 05:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey everyone, I'm looking for opinions and experiences from anyone who has kids, is pregnant, or is wanting to become pregnant!  I've been wondering a lot lately what us queer parents are supposed to do in the baby book regard.  Having a baby book for each of our (future, not yet pregnant with) children is something I really want, but it seems like all the baby books out there are very heterosexist. I don't want to buy a Mommy/Daddy baby book and cross out "Daddy", I want a book that I'm a consideration to begin with!

 

Has anyone found any baby books directed towards alternative families?  If so, where and how do you like it? 

 

If not, what would you hope to see in one?  What are the things you think are important to include and what are the things that you think aren't so important (and maybe are downright annoying to include)?  

 

Examples, from my very own baby book that my mother completed (mostly), are: any/all "firsts"; the list of guests who attended the baby shower(s) and what gifts they gave; photo pages; info from my day of birth (Dr/MW's name, facility name, weight, length, time, etc.); First Impressions page; Birth Certificate page; footprints page; Visitors page; Gifts, Cards and Flowers list page; Family Tree and relatives page; Parents' messages to baby; Daily Schedule; Growth Chart; Routine Dr. Visits; Vaccination Record; Dental record; "Special Favorites"; photo pages for each birthday 1-7 years; Religious Events; Holiday Happenings; School photo pages; Special Keepsakes pocket, etc.  

 

At the back are a bunch of pockets where my mom put letters she wrote to me while she was pregnant and after I was born, as well as cards received from family and friends.  

 

Whew!  So sorry for the novel I just wrote up there... Anyway, I really look forward to reading everyone's experiences and ideas, thank you in advance for the help!!


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#2 of 25 Old 03-03-2011, 05:28 PM
 
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We got this one: http://www.amazon.com/New-Babys-Baby-Journal/dp/1582462224/ref=pd_sim_b_13

 

It does say "Mommy/Daddy" a few times, but that is literally what it says: "Mommy/Daddy" so everyone will have to circle or cross out one of the options.  It was literally the only (mostly non-heterosexist) baby book we could find at a book store. 

 

I know that there are books you can get specifically for LGBT families, but I'm not sure where.


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#3 of 25 Old 03-03-2011, 06:25 PM
 
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http://www.amazon.com/Then-There-Was-Me/dp/1930218036

 

We use this one for all 3 girls. It is has pages for single moms, 2 moms, adoptive parents, sperm and egg donors as well as all the normal stuff. You can take out the pages that don't apply to you! We LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!

-Sarah


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#4 of 25 Old 03-03-2011, 06:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just looked at those books, they are so cute!  2moms, how do the pages come out?


partners.gif Mom and Mama to our incredible new daughter, Everleigh Jane (9.1.12)! We have a blog, too!
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#5 of 25 Old 03-04-2011, 05:12 AM
 
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For our first we used http://ourworldourfamily.com/babybook.htm this baby book which I really liked. When our second came around we used the one that 2moms3kids spoke of. I liked it too, but found it a little more tedious to take out pages, figure out the best order, fill it all in and what not (it was really easy - it works like a scrapbook where you unscrew, reorder and then reattach the screw). Of course, I kept comparing it to my first so that both boys had similar information available. Which made it a pain!

Good luck.

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#6 of 25 Old 03-04-2011, 05:18 AM
 
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It is almost like a 3 ring binder, but more book-like. You unscrew it and take the pages out you aren't going to use and screw it back together. I often end up adding pages back in, like my 5 year old has 5-6 pages (front and back) of milestones which obviously a normal baby book woudn't be able to accomidate, so I used the egg donor page and just whited-out the heading. I enjoy the flexibility it offers PSYCHO recording parents like me ;)

Sarah


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#7 of 25 Old 03-04-2011, 05:36 AM
 
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thanks for the suggestions!! love.gif

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#8 of 25 Old 03-04-2011, 05:52 AM
 
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We have this one: http://www.amazon.com/Wonder-You-Celebrating-Babys-First/dp/0312368399/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1299246489&sr=1-1 No heterosexism in sight, (just spaces for "parents") and lots of cuteness. 


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#9 of 25 Old 03-04-2011, 06:27 AM
 
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we got these for our girls, they say "parent" throughout and there is no reference to a "daddy" that must be crossed out.  they are really nice, handmade books.  we've been very happy with them.

 

http://www.baby-memory-books.com/Baby_s_First_Year_by_Molly_West_Handbound_Books_p/mw-fyb-peripolkalots.htm 

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#10 of 25 Old 03-04-2011, 07:43 AM
 
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We have the same one as Atlantafemme. We love it!


K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#11 of 25 Old 03-04-2011, 11:23 AM
 
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we have the Molly West books for both kids & they're great!!!

Me: almost 40, RN DW: 38, CPD Boy: born 4/2/2007 Girl: born 8/23/2010
Queer Parenting since 2007
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#12 of 25 Old 02-08-2013, 01:22 PM
 
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This Etsy craftsperson makes these lovely books.  They are expensive but they will customize them for you based on what parent names you want to use.




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#13 of 25 Old 02-09-2013, 02:23 PM
 
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I've not been able to check this one out in person, but have heard good things about The First 1000 Days by Nikki McClure... And I adore her art: It's all papercuts!


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#14 of 25 Old 02-13-2013, 07:38 AM
 
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From what I've seen, most of the Hallmark books have two Mommy pages and two Daddy pages, and you just take out the extras.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#15 of 25 Old 03-15-2013, 11:13 AM
 
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Wow, I am so glad I found this thread! I've been looking for a baby book that isn't "Mommy and Daddy" specific as well. Has anyone used the "First 1,000 Days"? The artwork looks great. I found both that one and "The Wonder of You" on target.com so I can even add them to the registry. Now I have to choose which one! I didn't think I'd have a choice. :)

I wish I could actually look inside them and compare!


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#16 of 25 Old 03-15-2013, 01:19 PM
 
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Coco - If you haven't yet, you can see a few pages of each on Amazon to get an idea of what they're like inside. It's not much, but it helps.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#17 of 25 Old 03-16-2013, 12:18 PM
 
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Thanks, I did just that. I think we're going to go with "The Wonder of You." Though I love the art of "First 1000 Days," there are so many blank pages to be filled in, I doubt I would find the time! Looong blank spaces. "The Wonder of You" looks like it will be a bit easier to fill out, but still leaves plenty of room for anecdotal details. :) It looks sweet, with little poems throughout--I love her book "On the Night You Were Born".


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#18 of 25 Old 03-16-2013, 05:15 PM
 
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I just wrote a note to Buy Olympia, a company which sells all of Nikki McClure's stuff, and asked if "The First 1000 Days" was designed for heterosexual families... Looking forward to their response, and will share it with y'all here!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by CocoBird View Post

Thanks, I did just that. I think we're going to go with "The Wonder of You." Though I love the art of "First 1000 Days," there are so many blank pages to be filled in, I doubt I would find the time! Looong blank spaces. "The Wonder of You" looks like it will be a bit easier to fill out, but still leaves plenty of room for anecdotal details. :) It looks sweet, with little poems throughout--I love her book "On the Night You Were Born".

 

I'm glad you've found a good choice! I too noticed the big spaces in The First 1000 Days... Maybe big handwriting is the answer! Or adding drawings, LOL.


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#19 of 25 Old 03-17-2013, 05:31 PM
 
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We used The First 1,000 Days for DD. It is very queer friendly, and just alternative family friendly in general. It is, however, a bit more like a journal than a traditional baby book. Depending on your temperament and writing habits this could be good or bad!

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#20 of 25 Old 03-17-2013, 06:34 PM
 
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i was going to say, nikki mcclure did the first 1000 days and she lives in our neighborhood... i can't imagine her doing a book that wasn't inclusive of a lot of kinds of families. 

 

Knitting Tigers - can I pick your brain for a second? if you have twins, do you think you have to do two baby books? or do people who have twins just not do baby books because, well, they have twins. haha. 


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#21 of 25 Old 03-17-2013, 07:06 PM
 
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Yeah, I can't imagine that I'll manage two books. Maybe one? We had our friends write messages to the babies in a blank book at our shower. Might just continue writing in there? IDK. Honestly, keeping on top of things like that is not my strong suit. We might try to find two that are really short!

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#22 of 25 Old 03-17-2013, 07:07 PM
 
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right. like, on one hand, don't twins get shafted out of a lot of those sweet individual things? on the other hand, holy hell i cannot imagine doing two. i kind of can't even imagine realistically keeping up one. 


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#23 of 25 Old 03-17-2013, 07:13 PM
 
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So, I just asked DP about this and he pulled out the one we kept for O. Amazingly, we wrote a real entry every month for two years! But, we had one kid and we were grad students. The moment we got real jobs, the entries dried up completely! It's so sweet seeing hers now- I really want the twins to have that too. Just not sure how we'll do it.

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#24 of 25 Old 06-22-2013, 10:26 AM
 
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Just wanted to confirm that we have Hallmark baby books for both kids (classy 3 ring binders) and they did come standard with extra pages for a second mommy of daddy that can be added or removed if needed.

We don't have twins, but I wanted to chime in and say that I LOVE that my mom gave me my baby book when I was "launched" as an adult, sometime before having kids. I pull it out sometimes to see how my first teeth, first words, etc. compare to my kids. If I'd been a twin and there were only one book, I'd be bummed that we couldn't both have it. I know parents with twins have a severe time deficit -- but this could be a reason to make two books!
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#25 of 25 Old 09-14-2013, 02:28 PM
 
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Oh I didn't know that about hallmark must be a new thing?

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