Second Parenting Adoption options-in need of advice - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-19-2011, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
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I am new to this group, but have encountered a big problem in regards to second parent adoption.  My partner and I were married in Canada in 2006.  I live in Ohio-thus am not able to obtain Second Parent Adoption through the Ohio court system.  My partner and I have three children.  My partner also has Multiple Sclerosis and on SSI-she cannot get life insurance due to her disease-pre-existing condition.  We both are educated and I am in a profession that allows us to financial secure-the issue is that two of the children would not be entitled to any benefits that should be innate due to my partner being a parent to all three children, but without the second parent adoption-there are no federal rights.  I have spoken to local attorneys and have been advised that-in regards to second parent adoption-we have no options in the state of Ohio.  There are other things that we can do to attempt to protect our rights to our children, but second parent adoption is no attainable in Ohio, so we have other things in place as a backup-but we need the second parent adoption to ensure our rights.

Due to the medical issues, we are not in a position to move to another state that offers second parent adoption in the near future, although it is a long term plan.  So, my question is-are there any states that have a short residency requirement for second parent adoption?  I could rent an apartment in another state if needed-we could have two residences-or is there a possibility of using a PO box.?  I am pretty sure that there are no other options unless we reside in a state that grants second parent adoption for longer than 6 months, but I wanted to see if there were any "last ditch" options....Thanks for any information that you can provide :)

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#2 of 6 Old 03-20-2011, 06:41 PM
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if its a federal thing then it should be the same in all states right?

Crystal (26) Single Mama to Baby Cohen born 7 weeks early December 2011 <3
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#3 of 6 Old 03-20-2011, 08:25 PM
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Have you check with Human Rights Campaign?  They seem to keep info on these issues state by state.  

Me (39), DP (45).  Together since 04, married in June 07.
TTC 10/10 to spring 2012.  Fall 2012--moving on to foster-adopt.

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#4 of 6 Old 03-21-2011, 07:24 AM
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To answer CrystalPerez's question-- adoption laws are different in each state but once a state grants an adoption, all other states must recognize that adoption.


OP, I don't know of any low-residency adoption options. In GA, I believe the requirement is 2 years. I just did a quick google search though and found this info page on Illinois: It claims the residency requirement there is only 6 months but I'm not sure what you have to do to prove residency. If I were you, I'd do a state-by-state google search starting with the states that would be most convenient for you.  

mom to DS born 5/29/09, DS #2 born 5/2/2011, partner to a PhD (finally!), pleased to be co-sleepin', lovin' our 3 cats and 4 dogs and raisin' our LOs vegetarian.
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#5 of 6 Old 03-21-2011, 08:26 AM
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This may or may not be helpful.  My partner and I live in a medium-sized city in southeast Tennessee.  When we were pregnant, we kept thinking we'd eventually have to move in order to do a second-parent adoption.  Well we brought the topic up every chance we got - trying to find out if anyone in our county had ever done this.  We kept thinking it was impossible - called a few lawyers and no one knew of this being done.  One local lawyer stated on her website that it couldn't be done in our county.  We knew it had been done elsewhere in the state (at least in Knoxville and in Nashville).  Anyway, my point is that one day my partner brought it up with the right person - a guy who happened to work in the circuit court system.  He referred us to a lawyer - it turns out she was in the midst of doing this for the first time in our county.  By the time we had our home study and went in front of a judge, we were the 4th local family to do this (all lesbians).  We were very specifically told to keep the whole thing under wraps, which I think is sad, but that's a whole other story.  So, it's done but it's quiet.


My point is that it might have happened already.....or there might be a judge in your area who's willing to do it.  I don't know the best way to find that out - you might even chance calling the courthouse to see if a clerk can give you any further information.


That may or may not be helpful.  I'm sure there are other gay families in my area who want to adopt but they don't know who to contact.  Unfortunately, our lawyer can't really place an ad out there saying she does this for political (and safety?) reasons.


Good luck.

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#6 of 6 Old 03-21-2011, 08:54 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the comments-currently, there is a ban on second parent adoptions throughout the state of Ohio, so no one is able to get a second parent adoption if they are gay.  I have looked into Illinois and PA (who is very progressive only through their adoption policy).  I know that, based upon what I have been able to find out online and through others, the lowest time frame required for residency is 6 months, but I was hoping that maybe someone knew something different.

Thanks again for your posts, I appreciate it.

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