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Old 04-21-2011, 06:09 PM
 
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Imogen, adorable!

 

Escher, kick kick!  I think I'm only feeling movement early because I am on my 3rd.  Tho I was early with the first 2, as well.  And kid, everything is going to be fine.  I don't have faith in anything at all, but I know that everything is going to be fine.  Babies were made to be made.

 

Cejae, no fun on the GD!

 

Library, I don't think your routine sounds lazy.  Far from it!  She is probably passing out after the bottle because it delivers milk so much faster.  I do want to point out that a pump isn't the most efficient way to get milk.  I had major oversupply issues and never pumped more than an ounce per side.  I'm pretty sure the only way to know how much milk she's getting per feed is to weigh her before and after.  Total pain in the rump, but you may find that she's eating a lot more than the pump is telling you.

 

AFM, we went swimming and colored eggs and it's just been jam packed fun.  The friends who are staying with us don't celebrate Easter, so the kids made baskets and wrote notes asking the Easter bun to visit us early while they're here.  Then the kids Sara keeps are getting dropped off at our house in the morning, rather than her going to them and we're going to have a big ol party full of chocolate and eggs.

 

Oh, but I totally had, like, braxton hicks today.  I got the around 2 months with both the other kids, so I'm not stressing (actually surprised I'm not making milk yet), but I was swimming and then suddenly my uterus turned into a rock! It was fun and disturbing every time it happened.


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Old 04-21-2011, 07:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraryLady View Post

Hello ladies~ Thanks for all your input and support oxoxoxox   Last night went remarkably well~ like, the best night we've had so far.  AHOPE, I had been letting Alice sleep at the breast while I dozed sitting up propped against the headboard, and she would wake, eat for a minute or two, then fall back to sleep for hours on hours at a time as long as I held her, as soon as I put her down she'd scream and cry until I picked her up, then she'd eat for five minutes max then doze again. I told the doc last week and she said that if I could stand to do it, just let her set her own schedule and feed on demand, but then this week when we went back, she hadn't gained as much as she should have and the doc said it's probably due to the lazy eating habits and not filling herself up.  She is gaining (she's back up to 8 lbs, but she's not back to her 8lb 5 oz birthweight) and the doc says she's not sickly or anything, but that it concerns her a bit.  So yesterday/last night we tried feeding her every three hours, nursing for 20 minutes, then DP feeds her another oz of pumped milk while I pump post-feeding.  There was no forcing her to sleep~ indeed, she's slept/is sleeping more than ever (a bit worrying in its own right~ oh so many things to worry about....) I did have to keep her awake while feeding a few of the times (taking off her clothes, blowing on her, etc) but she ate and ate from DP's bottle and then sacked out and slept like a log which let me sleep whilst lying down even, such luxury!  I'm wondering if she was just not getting enough to eat in the first place. I've noticed now that I'm doing this regular pump that I'm not producing as much as I thought (and am on my way to the health food store to get some fenugreek...)   But really it boils down to I JUST DON"T KNOW!!!!  I feel bad about putting her on a schedule and not just letting her do her own thing, but she wasn't really eating (which is likely why my milk's lower than I'd like) and now she's eating more but sleeping constantly. Is this good? Is this bad? Surely she wouldn't sleep so solidly if she wasn't tired? I'm determined to figure this out and not give up, but it is still a source of stress and guilt and worry for me.   Thanks for all your stories and experiences. I'm glad to know that other people had kiddos they had to actively wake up to feed. I just hope I'm doing what's right by her and am not just being lazy myself.

 

Seraf~ Yay for your fundus!  It's so nice to have something to show for your effort and sacrifice. You'll have movement soon and that's even better.

 

Cejae~ HOORAY for being done! Even if you have lots of work to do to keep you occupied, at least you won't have to actively teach. November's nicely far away!  Sorry about the diabetes, ugh. 

 

Thanks to everyone else for their input~ anything else you have to say or contribute will be greatly welcomed oxooxo


Good to hear you all slept better last night!

 

Another option to bottle feeding to "top her up" is to fingerfeed - your DP could do this as well. That way any "nipple confusion" won't happen. If you have to use a bottle, try and make sure it's a slow flow nipple so she doesn't get used to the fast flow of most bottles.

 

As I said, I'm not an expert but am passionate about breastfeeding so feel free to pm me if you like :) Ok, I'll go back to lurking on this thread :D

 

Btw, Alice is such a cute name and seems to suit a little chubby cheeked red haired baby so well :)

 


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Old 04-21-2011, 08:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraryLady View Post

 I feel bad about putting her on a schedule and not just letting her do her own thing, but she wasn't really eating (which is likely why my milk's lower than I'd like) and now she's eating more but sleeping constantly. Is this good? Is this bad? Surely she wouldn't sleep so solidly if she wasn't tired? I'm determined to figure this out and not give up, but it is still a source of stress and guilt and worry for me.   Thanks for all your stories and experiences. I'm glad to know that other people had kiddos they had to actively wake up to feed. I just hope I'm doing what's right by her and am not just being lazy myself.

 


Quick 2 cents: YES it is good if she is eating more and sleeping more.  And I'm sure that her eating more at each feeding will help boost your milk supply, especially if you are pumping, too.  You want to get her eating solidly for long enough to get the rich hind milk that comes after a few minutes of feeding.  This will get her more fat and also stimulate your supply.  I do agree about the slow-flow nipple, though.  You don't want her refusing the breast because she gets more milk more quickly from the bottle.  Also, I agree that the pump isn't a great measure of supply.  While DD was gaining a pound a week (!), I was only getting a few ounces per session of pumping.  I just never had a good let-down on the pump.  I'm REALLY hoping the pump works better this time, since I actually have job now!

 

Cejae: Great to "see" you, but SO SORRY about the GD.  That is a serious bummer.  At least you're not a sugar junkie to start, so you won't have to wean yourself off, right? 

 

Imogen: What a truly beautiful pic; I'm envious of the free session! 

 

AFM: I'm okay, just so busy that I want to cry at the end of most days.  I never ate my lunch today--seriously didn't have 15 minutes to heat it up and wolf it down.  I ate enough snacks that I wasn't too hungry, but I felt guilty about it, anyway.  Thankfully, the next few days should allow me to catch up a bit on rest and exercise.  And the semester is over in three weeks (I can do it, I can do it!). 


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Old 04-22-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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Good morning Ladies. I miss coffee at 7Am. A lot. Too bad I have an addiction to diet coke that can't be quit (I know- sooo not mothering of me:) so I had to give up SOMETHING. Haha, is it bad that i am fiending for coffee in the morning and wine in the evening. I find myself thinking from time to time...." women drink wine all the time while they are preggo and their babies are just fine..... " sigh- 3 more months~

 

Library- What Seraf said, she always takes my good bfing advice! Really my best advice is to remember that in about a month bfing will be sooo easy and second nature and all of these 1st weeks issues and questions will be memories and you will be giving new mama's advice yourself!

 

Seraf- I had em early this time too, but not at 10 weeks I don't think. That is impressive! When are you guys going zooing? Now I am confused, is it April 29th? May 29th?

 

Imogen- Looks like you will so make it to 37 weeks! What is your term mark again. Cute pic!

 

We actually just got some family pics taken. I just got em back, and although I can't figure out to scan them in to my computer (have a mentioned I am computer illiterate, I HAVE figured out how to post things to this forum! So here you go! My amazing fam!

fam.jpgfamily.jpg

 

 

 


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Old 04-22-2011, 06:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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MizYellow: I *love* the pics!  You all look happy and peaceful but also lively and so into one another.  Thanks for sharing!  As I've mentioned, I drink one small cup of coffee a day and cherish every drop.  But I'm not a soda drinker.  We do what we gotta do, you know?  I just hope that this little one doesn't mind a bit of caffeine in breastmilk.  My sister in law, who drank coffee for her second and third trimesters, is completely off it now (even decaf!), because my niece gets uncomfortable and fussy.  Yikes! I can't imagine being sleep deprived with an infant, needing to work (part-time, anyway), and not being able to have any coffee! 


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Old 04-22-2011, 12:48 PM
 
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 Library, how did last night go?  Better?  Just a note on the “nipple confusion” thing.  I’ve known lots of babes who go back and forth between the two, w/no problem so long as they are low flow bottles.  So don’t get too wrapped up on that.  Shoot, my BBF’s twins couldn’t breasfeed for the first 2 months.  She just kept pumping and by month three they were on the boobs and stayed there for the next year!

Escher, it must be so hard not to see the baby all the time – hang in there !

Imogen, I love the picture!  Hang in there – not long to go now.

Seraf, Wow, Braxton hicks already?!  I still haven’t had any of those yet.  DP had them throughout all of third trimester.  Sounds like a fun easter celebration. (um, btw, easter sucks w/GD, even if I’m not a sugar addict)

AHope, I’m so so sorry you are so busy!  Not having lunch is no good for you!  I know how busy the academic schedule can be, but I really hope you find some “you” time during the day at some point.  You can do three weeks.  You can do it!

Mizyellow, love the pics!  And from everything I’ve read, esp after the first trimester, 1 cup (a real cup, not the starbucks kind) of coffee is no big deal at all.  I just wish I wanted coffee.  My stomach still can’t handle it.  

AFM, I just wasted 3 hours of my life in a GD class where I learned what a carbohydrate was.  Lovely.  Thank god for my iPad.  I worked the whole time, otherwise I might have actually lost my mind.  

Question for those of you with older kids – any of them having reactions to you being pregnant?  DS is definitely way more clinging, acting out for really the frist time ever, and is obsessed with my boobs (from which he did not breastfeed – DP carried and breastfed). 


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Old 04-22-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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Hi everyone,

I know I don't post much, but I do keep up with you all and wanted to let everyone know that my little one has arrived. Elliot Graham was born last Friday April 15th, 7lbs 1 oz, 20 inches.

 

It was a long labor journey to his birth. My water broke on Wednesday at 11am, early labor contractions started at 2pm, after 24 hours of mild contractions I was only dilated to 4cm. They let me get in the tub where I desperately wanted to continue laboring onto the birth. But, I was not progressing and finally we had to make the decision to start pitocin and I ended up getting an epidural. I was also on antibiotics since my water had broken so long ago. The baby's heart rate started to show signs of deceleration after my contractions so they placed an internal fetal monitor and were able to establish that he was in fact stable. Friday morning at 5am I made it to just under 10cm and was able to start pushing! I pushed for 3.5 hours. I was told by my two midwives attending the birth that time was running out and that if I couldn't deliver the little one in the next few pushes we'd have to talk c-section. Somehow, some way I found it within me to deliver my son in the next two! 

 

Elliot did aspirate some meconium during the long labor and was suctioned. He also ended up getting a chest xray and was taken to the nursery for observation since it looked like one side of his chest was rising less than the other. All checked out though and I finally got to hold my son. 

 

I can't believe he's already a week old, we are so in love with him!!! We are still working on BFing, but seem to be getting into it just fine with lots of patience and persistence.

 

ElliotGraham.jpg

ElliotGraham1.jpgin

 

 

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Old 04-22-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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MizYellow: Thanks for sharing the family pics. You all have beautiful smiles and look like a happy group together. When not preg, I'm a daily wine and beer drinker. I thought I'd never get through a pregnancy without wanting my daily dose, but I don't think about it much. I have a French friend who drank a glass of wine daily with both of her beautiful kids. They're fine. Food in the belly and just a few ounces is key. So, I have it every now and then with dinner when I want it. Or, I just take a sip or two off DW's glass and that does it for me. All of the research I've looked at show the negative effects associated with high and regular intake. But, a good public health message is zero tolerance rather than "If you drink responsibly, it's ok."

 

AmandaHope: Tired to the point of tears…. So sorry to hear it. I'm really hoping that my work life doesn't come to that during this pregnancy, but we'll see. It gives me hope to see so many of you working so hard and still having happy, healthy pregnancies. Hoping you get your rest in the next couple of days!

 

Library: Being a newbie mama, I have zip in terms of BF knowledge to offer. I'd just say that it sounds like you are doing beautifully and I'm sorry to hear that it comes with worry and guilt for you. Also, I am super grateful for your posts because they (and the knowledgeable responses from everyone else) are giving me lots of good information. I'll be BF after a breast reduction and am starting to add the possible difficulties with that to my worry list (although there is a great book out there if anyone needs the title for this particular situation).

 

Seref: You're weekend sounds like a blast! Enjoy. So beautiful that you're feeling something now. That little one wants send out a "hello!" I think I felt the first movement in the middle of the night. Felt like a left-side back flip. I've also had a lot of hard uterus/belly. Although this faded in the last two weeks.

 

Cejae: Sorry to hear about the GD. Sounds frustrating given your regular diet.

 

Starling: HI-larious story! I agree with Library, love a scandal but it's probably better that you got in and out with no problem. Congrats on the co-op. We would probably sell our house too to save money in these early years. Don't know how we jumped on the house then baby bandwagon so easily. It's a good home, I shouldn't disparage, but feeling the burden of it when it would be good to focus on the baby.

 

Escher: You might already be doing this… but I've been adding kale to smoothies and can't even taste it (although I wouldn't mind b/c I like the taste), but it gets me more greens.

 

Imogen: Super lovely pic! Hope all is well.

 

2EZ: How's it going? Hope well!

 

AFM: Oooooof. This week I'm going through it a bit. Today's word is 'doubt'. I've spent a lot of time talking to my girl, telling her I know she's in there. But, I'm doing this because I'm having silly doubts. I've had a really bad cold and this intense cough, which I know won't make me shoot her out or anything. But, it feels disruptive. Also, I've been tripping because my belly is back in the deflated, flat place after a week of big and hard. Silly, I know. Also, DW and I are going through it! We're feeling some distance (which is hard because we are typically physically and emotionally quite close). That's a longer story. We popped ourselves back in couples therapy, so that's good. No word yet from DW's parents. We're camping in Big Sur this weekend, which should give us a good charge. Happy weekends to all!


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Old 04-22-2011, 02:14 PM
 
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Hey all~ I'm at my grandmother's house and have only a moment to post today (though I'll do more tomorrow).  THANKS AGAIN for all your good advice and wonderful support. Last night went well again, and today I have so much milk it's soakng through my bra pads.  I know pumping doesn't get the optimum flow of milk, but we're getting something out there and DP's able to top her up (from a slow-flow nipple, for sure!) She's still sleeping a lot, but I guess she's tired, eh?

 

I'll write again tomorrow and do personals and give another report. It's nice to have a day where I don't feel like I"m starving my baby.

 

Butterfly~ Your baby is BEAUTIFUL!!! Alice had some of the same issues at birth, I'm glad he's doing well and hope you're all happy xox


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Old 04-23-2011, 06:56 AM
 
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Yellow, um, it's next week!  I think that would be april.  Sorry, I'm a total flake right now.  I can't get 3 sentences out without saying something wrong.  Laughing about the diet coke.  I never have been a pop drinker, but now we're keeping root beer in the house a lot of the time because fizz is lovely.

 

Cejae, my oldest is super excited but not much different.  My 5 year old has been way more clingy.  I'm told she's not like that with anyone but me.  Joy.  My challenge is that I'm trying my hardest to be patient with her and so when it gets under Sara's skin I get frustrated with Sara instead of Ari, since I was just dealing with Ari, I have a hard time with the compounding of the situation.

 

Butterfly, He is adorable.  That sounds like one heck of a labor.

 

Julia, have fun camping, glad to hear I'm not the only one with the hard uterus.

 

Library, I think it's insane how much newborns sleep.  16 - 20 hours a day, right?  I didn't much pump after.  I had a friend who did, but I didn't want to encourage more supply, since I have oversupply issues.  I did pump on the side my kid wasn't nursing on, since I was leaking anyway.  This time I'm going to get a set of milk savers.  Flat cups that fit in your bra to catch all that extra, and it doesn't get wasted into my breast pads and shirt.  

 

AFM, haven't felt much movement lately.  Mostly just when I'm very still.  Here's a pic of the newest member of the house.

 

 


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Old 04-23-2011, 10:26 AM
 
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For anyone who lives in NYC :).

 

New York maternity store offers new mothers 10 per cent discount... but only if they're lesbians:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1379823/New-York-maternity-store-offers-10-cent-hardship-discount-lesbian-couples.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

 

Wonder if they'll give my wonderfully queer brother in law the discount if he says he's buying for me? :)


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Old 04-23-2011, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, all.

 

Butterfly: Congratulations!  It sounds amazing that you got away without a c-section--so glad that persistence and circumstances lined up so that you could have a vaginal delivery.  Whew!  Are you still exhausted?  Your little guy is beautiful!

 

Seraf: I had BH around 16 weeks, but not much lately.  What a weird feeling, that hard as a rock belly.  The bunny looks sweet--the kids must be loving it.

 

Julie: Sorry it's been a tough week.  I understand about partner relationship issues--they can be really hard, even when everyone involved is committed to working through them in loving ways. I hope the camping helped (though I must admit to some serious jealousy about Big Sur--man, I miss the West coast).

 

Cejae: That GD class sounds lame. Glad your ipad saved you.  Good luck with the deadlines coming up. 

 

Library: Good to hear from you, and so glad that Alice is eating more/better.

 

Gumshoe: So you decided not to do the tongue clipping?  How is the BFing going?  Thinking of you.

 

Wehrli: Hi!  Looking forward to reading your birth story whenever you get around to it.  How is the babymoon?

 

AFM: Well, yesterday was not a good day.  My mom called in the morning to say that my Nana (her mom, and a second mother to me--I've always been really close to her) had fallen and broken both hips.  She had surgery today and is still unconscious (for medical reasons--they'll probably let her wake up tonight), but I know how profoundly miserable she will be when she realizes what happened and what she is in for.  She never wanted to become so dependent or frail, but she literally had no choice about the surgery, since she was full of morphine, and there was really no alternative.  I feel terrible about not being there, but my mom is going down there (FL) tomorrow, and I literally can't take the stress of traveling again right now.  So I was processing that when DP noticed that our ailing kitty was acting really out of it.  Sure enough, the vet ran tests and said that she was entering multiple organ failure and that we needed to put her to sleep.  We've had her for 16 years--got her when DP and I first moved in together in college.  She was DP's companion animal during 1.5 years of brutal cancer therapy and has always been part of our family.  So we went to the vet and held her while she died, painlessly and comfortably.  DP is bereft.  She fights depression anyway, so this is only making it worse.  I'm just hoping that she'll come through the intense grief with some time, and I'm actually grateful that this happened now instead of around when the babe was born.  But the mood in our house is really low.  Sigh.  I'm hoping that by the time classes are over in a few weeks, we'll all be feeling better and ready to enjoy the summer and the rest of the pregnancy.  I am hoping and praying that my Nana gets to meet this babe, but it isn't looking great.  Sorry to be such a downer. 

 

 


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Old 04-24-2011, 08:04 AM
 
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Seraf- What an adorable pic of your little Ari and the cute bunny! You know it is supposed to storm all day tomorrow right? I love the zoo as much as the next lady but probably not that much..... although it storms everyday right now so I  guess I should be used to the rain.

 

Amanda- I am so sorry, that sounds like a terrible weekend. I hope the fact that you will soon be entering your 3rd trimester will help DP to focus on something more positive. This baby is right around the corner!

 

EZ- Sounds lame. Thank god for the ipad, it has saved both myself and L-man  from boredom on numerous occasions. We get to take it with us on a plane for the first time in a couple of weeks (family vacation to Florida!!!!!) and I can't wait to see how smoothly the flight goes!

 

Juliet- Thanks for the wine advice, I know in Europe it is sooo not a big deal and a lot of midwives advise it to help stop labor contractions. I just wish it wasn't so taboo in the US. Come on when could anyone need a glass of wine more than when preggo?!!!

 

AFM: 3rd trimester today!!!!!!!! I am excited and starting to get nervous. I have a hard time as I get very large and unwieldy. I have a small frame and the last few weeks are tough but it means I get to meet my sweet new love pretty soon!! I am also getting nervous about labor. I had an epidural with Lennon so I have no idea how bad the pain gets but I tend to be  a really big wimp. I know i can do it......but what if i can't?!

Happy Easter everyone.


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Old 04-24-2011, 10:01 AM
 
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AmandaHope: I'm so so so so sorry to hear about your family's weekend. Did your grandma get the hip repair so she will be able to walk in the near future? I hope she doesn't have grueling months of physical therapy ahead of her but I'm sure she's tough and can do it. Sorry about the loss of your cat. I know that it is definitely going to be easier before the birth, rather than after, but its hard whenever it has to happen. 

 

Yellow: We're going to the Zoo on Friday, April 29th. If it is storming all day, we are planning to just suck it up because the kids have been promised (reward for potty training to the 3 year old Sara nannies). Good luck on your trip to Florida, we are going next month. I'm not much of a wine drinker, but I did have champaign one New Year's with Osha and I took a shot of something to stop contractions when I was having a threatened miscarriage with him.  Matter of fact, I had a glass of wine in early labor with him. My mom was even encouraged by her doctor to drink a glass of beer a day, with her pregnancy with me. I really think their recommendations are all black and white, with everything, just because so many people have a hard time with shades of gray.  I am such a rebel, I let my kids sleep on their bellies, in my bed with no binky (WTF is up with the binky study?)!  I even didn't circ my son even tho now they're saying circing prevents HIV transmission.  (They clearly didn't do that study in the good ol US of A eyesroll.gif ) 

 

Happy Easter and Passover to everyone.  


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Old 04-25-2011, 08:49 AM
 
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~NAK~ please forgive my lack of personals

AHope, sorry to hear about your grandma... and your kitty friend. hope gramma recovers soon!

afm, it's my first day home alone with the boy... he's 3 weeks old today! going to try and get to my birth story today... we'll see... here is a link to some photos from the last 2 weeks.

Silas - 2nd&3rd week

DP and I  rainbow1284.gif together since 2001, brokenheart.gif 4/10,  pos.gif 7/10
DS - planned h20homebirth.gif born via ribboncesarean.gif 4/4/2011
)O( treehugger.gif nocirc.gif winner.jpg cd.gif greenthumb.gif earth.gif whale.gif
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:47 AM
 
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Hello everyone~  Barely squeezing in a moment to write. Alice is having a growth spurt, I believe, and the feeding schedule has gone out the window since she's so very hungry all the time. I'm still concerned I'm not making enough (the pumping is yielding very little) but it's also true that the last 36 hours I've let her feed at will and she's eaten quite a bit, bless her heart. She's also fussy and back to not sleeping well (though we're not back to me sitting up all night holding her, thank goodness).  Right now I'm just hoping she'll sit in her vibrating chair for a few minutes and let me do something else besides hold her up to my tit (which I love, don't get me wrong, but still, a moment's respite to refill PLEASE!!)  So it goes back and forth with my bf issues.  I'm eager to get her to the doc tomorrow and see if she's gained weight. I'm still terrified they're going to tell me no and we're going to have to give her formula supplements. DO NOT WANT.  So that's pretty much the story.

 

AHope~ Biggest biggest hugs to you and DP about your cat.  That's the saddest story, and I just love kitties so much, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now.  I'm also very sorry for your grandmother. My grandma is the same kind of sassy independent woman at 92 and would be devastated if she became so incapacitated.  I hope it works out for the best oxox

 

 

MizYellow~ Hooray for the third tri!!!!  I'm also very small and became very huge and unwieldy~ it's not fun but it's totally temporary AND you have the perfect excuse to do nothing and have people bring you stuff, so enjoy as much as you can!  As for birth pain, it's bad, but it's bearable, and I just kept thinking about all the women before me in history who did this in the back of a covered wagon or in a yurt on the steppes and it made me feel like more a part of them and herstory and the world.  You'll do great, even if you think you're a wimp. 

 

 

Seraf~ ADORABLE BUNNY!!!!!  And I love your rebel baby ways (though I don't know what the 'binky study' is...) Thanks for all your bf encouragement.  I'm still not giving up.

 

 

Cejae~ I totally think you should send the big fag in to claim the lesbo discount.  

 

 

AFM~ That's about it.  I've been watching all kinds of weirdo stuff at the 3 a.m. feedings. My favorite so far was on TCM, a 1971 horror movie called Raw Meat set in the London Underground and involved cannibal descendants of people who'd been trapped in a tube station cave in. It contained very little actual horror, but lots of scenes of Donald Pleasance having concerned discussions in his crowded office.  Better than infomercials, I tell ya!!

 

Much love xooxoxo


Writer girl~notes2.gif~runner girl~jog.gif ~three cats~ cat.gif~ one dog~ dog2.gif~  and the wonderfully red-haired Alice Meredith, born April 8hearts.gif   
 
 
 
  
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:59 AM
 
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Hi Everyone,

Wehrli: Silas is darling. I love the hair, and the great facial expressions he has. I hope your first day alone with him goes well!

Mizyellow: Congratulations on reaching the third trimester! That's a great milestone. I love your pictures!

AmandaHope: hug.gif I'm so sorry for the hard time your family is going through. I hope that your grandmother has a smooth and easy recovery, and that your DP (and your whole family) is able to heal from the loss of your cat. What a hard, hard day. hug2.gif

Cejae: That's a funny discount!

Seraf: Your bunny is darling! And your kid is even cuter.

Library: It's exciting that Alice is having a growth spurt, but I'm sorry that the feeding schedule is still such a challenge. I hope that it feels easier soon.

Julietea: I'm sorry you're feeling more doubt. I'm right there with you, and it is a hard place to be. I hope that you get some lovely reassurance soon!

Bttrflygypsy: Congratulations! joy.gif What a cutie.

Imogenlily: How are things going?

AFM: Nothing dramatically new here, which is obviously good. I've been getting more headaches than usual lately. Maybe I'm dehydrated, but I'm drinking a lot of water. Any other theories? My next midwife appointment is this Saturday, and I'm really hoping to get to hear the heartbeat again then.

whistling.gifMe, love.gif my wife, blowkiss.gifour son (2.5), and luxlove.gif our daughter (5 months)
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Old 04-25-2011, 12:11 PM
 
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Butterfly... congratulations!!!! Elliot is beautiful!!!!

 

Amanda... I'm sorry to hear about your Nana. Mine went through a similar situation last summer and it was very hard for all. Also, heartbreaking about your kitty. I am always so surprised about how intense the loss of a pet can be... each time it happens I seem to have blocked the last experience. Sending you both healing vibes. dust.gif

 

Wehrli... Hi! Such gorgeous pics of that sweet babe. I love his little looks and expressions. And, you both look so happy and at peace.

 

Yellow... yay for 3rd tri!!!

 

Library... sounds like BF is humming along, shifting and changing day by day. That's good, right? Here are good thoughts for weight gain!

 

Escher... I'm excited for you that another chance to hear the heartbeat is coming up! We're just in a long spell between appointments right now. But, I did feel what I think is a bit of movement this weekend, so feeling better. Thanks for your thoughts.

 

Cejae... send him in!

 

Seref... super cute bunny and kid.  thumb.gif

 

AFM... Big Sur was so beautiful. Wildflower hikes and beach bumming. We saw a mountain lion and a baby rattler (from a distance). The weekend was nourishing for DW and I, which was needed. But, we got home to an e-mail message from her parents. They took one line out of her thoughtful and loving message to them announcing the pregnancy... "We have always wanted to raise children together."... and composed a big old, bible-fueled argument about how tellingly selfish that statement is. How badly they feel for the "child in our care" (we don't get to be called parents).... Aside from all of their smaller failures over the years, they've managed to completely mess up another big passage for their incredible daughter (coming out, marriage, now parenthood). Our rational selves didn't expect anything else, but emotionally we'd held out a little hope. The thing that makes me so nuts is I could compose an inventory of their parenting failures both during DW's childhood and adult years... they really struggled and made a great number of big mistakes. Yet, on the basis of our gender they feel perfectly comfortable pitying our child and rejecting their daughter's journey into parenthood. Then they talk about walking humbly with God. Soooo much wrong with fundamentalism. It's hard for DW to hold that in heart, mind and spirit she has surpassed her parents and that she's got everything she needs. Parental rejection... even when fully expected... just destroys another piece of you. Ooof. That's all on that. Now back to therapy and healing.


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Old 04-25-2011, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wehrli: Silas is such a love!  Your DP looks sublimely happy--such a mama!  I can understand why she is struggling with not being able to BF.  I'd be unbearably jealous if DP were doing all the BFing.  It is so much more than milk, kwim?  Glad you are both hanging in there during these challenging early weeks. I hope your first day alone goes well!

 

Escher: Hmm...no theories about the headaches, really.  Sadly, they are hormonally related for some women and come with the pregnancy territory.  Ugh.  Maybe electrolytes?  Especially if you are drinking lots of water...you might try some vitamin water or gatorade.  I hope your midwife has some good ideas.  Can't wait for you to hear that hb again!

 

Library: You sound remarkably patient and stoic, given how rough a transition you are going through.  And as lovely as BFing is, it is NOT the thing you want to be doing 10+ hours/day!  Your persistence is inspiring. 

 

Seraf: Enjoy the zoo on Friday--hope the weather cooperates!

 

Julie: Glad Big Sur lived up to expectations. Wow--a mountain lion!  Very cool.  But your DP's parents' message sounds profoundly upsetting.  There is just no way to prepare oneself for that sort of rejection, even if it is somewhat expected or not really surprising.  You can't help but hope that they'll finally get it and step up to the plate.  I'm so very sorry.  And the self-righteousness on top of it has got to be infuriating.  You are lucky to have each other, and your kid is going to be even luckier to have both of you as parents.  We all make mistakes of some sort, but the kind of rejection you both are experiencing (not to mention what sound like severe mistakes they made earlier in DP's life) is something that your child will never have to suffer through.  I hope there is some healing in that for you both.  hug2.gif  Are there "surrogate" parents of some sort that you could turn to for support? 

 

Thanks for the reassurance and sympathy about the cat and my nana.  She is still really confused and out of it after the surgery but has started moving around and seems to be responding to treatment/surgery/therapy, so there is hope that she'll recover...slowly and painfully.  DP is still really sad about the kitty, but she is processing it and holding up ok.  We seem to be supporting each other really well right now, which is so important.  When stressed, it is easy to get caught up in our own stuff. 

 

 


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Old 04-25-2011, 04:24 PM
 
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Julie ... I'm so sorry to hear about the response from your DP's parents.  To be honest, it made me cry.  I would love to sit those folks down and give them a serious talking to.  Has your DP considered distancing herself from them even more than she is now?  So many of us queers have spent years in therapy, and I know it's an option that's often talked about.  I'll put up my hand as someone who 'fired' my father and stepmother after decades of being treated horribly by both of them. They've never met my partner, my child, and I haven't spoken to them in over seven years now, and for the most part, it's been one of the best things I have ever done for myself.  Sometimes the adult self has to take care of that child self who never was properly taken care of. 

 

Library & Wherli ... Sounds like your wee families are doing well.  I truly believe in the idea of the fourth trimester, in that the first three months after an infant is born is mostly an extension of what was going on in the womb, a warm, dark, murky, muted, tiny existence.  I don't think babies are really 'cooked' when they come out.  You will notice that the world takes on a whole new shape when Alice and Silas hit that three month mark.  The world starts to expand again, and you move out of the tiny orbit you're circling right now.  Hang in there, mamas!

 

AmandaH ... I'm glad to hear that your gran is doing better today.  And I'm really glad to hear that you and your DP are holding fast to each other.  So important! 

 

Escher ... Oh, the headaches!  I've had fewer in the last couple of weeks, which is such a relief.  Peppermint oil at your temples sometimes helps.  And eating protein every couple of hours helped too.  I'm with you on waiting for another heartbeat-hearing chance!  Can't wait! 

 

Yellow ... Yay for the third trimester!  Getting so much closer to meeting your babe!  I do remember feeling rather like a couch on swollen feet, but I also remember it being a very exciting and very dull time.  Exciting to be gearing up for birth and baby, and then also waiting and waiting and waiting.  As for labour, you can do it!  It's such a high to have accomplished it naturally! 

 

Seraf ... Lovely bunny!  Great pic!

 

Imogen ... How are things?

 

AFM:  Still puking.  We went to see our new digs at the co-op.  We also got an offer on our place, so if the subjects come off, we'll be out of here at the beginning of June!  Yay!   My DP turns 40 next Saturday, and I'm getting her a Harley.  That's right!  A rumbling, shiny-chrome road hog!  It's been a lifelong dream of hers, and because my most recent book contract will amount to the price of the Harley, I'm looking at it as if I'm giving her a book for birthday.  She's going to keel over with shock!

We have a MW appointment on Wednesday morning, when we get another listen to the heart beat too!  I can't wait!  We'll get to schedule our 20 week u/s soon as we are nearly 17 weeks!  Where HAS the time gone???

 

 


dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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Old 04-25-2011, 04:31 PM
 
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starling, I'd love to see pictures of her excited and wonderful present! That'd be great! I'm sure she'll love it!

 

wehrli: He's just the cutest little dude ever! thanks for the photos!

 

 

 

okay, back to lurking!


DP to Sara, two crazy kids running around, lil dude born 11-1-11babyf.gif and the new guy is home !! babyboy.gif  (5/2/12)

 

 

 

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Old 04-25-2011, 04:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Starling: You are a wise woman.  Your comment about the adult self needing to take care of the child self is insightful and profound, and I totally agree on the fourth trimester theory.   Congrats on the offer on the house, and please DO take a picture of your DP on her b-day with that bike!  You could always post it for a day or two until we've all seen it and then take it down (if you are concerned about privacy).  What an exciting and generous gift! 

 

Off to my night class--only two more to go after tonight! 


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Old 04-25-2011, 06:14 PM
 
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Hi ladies!

 

 

I am really behind. DS just jumped in the shower, so I had a second and wanted to get online to send a quick update.

 

Library & Wehrli - wave.gif I've been thinking of you both, wondering how life was with the newest additions. Wehrli - I LOVE the picts of Silas. Thanks for posting. He's too cute. And that hair!!!

 

 

AmandaHope - Sending hugs your way. hug2.gif You too have been on my mind.

 

 

AFM - Went in for our u/s this morning. HOLY COW! The baby is huge and has grown so much! DP and I are still in awe. The baby was measuring almost 1 week behind all this time, but today measured 8w3d, which is where it should be. Plus, we were able to see the head and all the form it's little body has taken. I am still in amazement. We had a very strong heartbeat - 171 today. Needless to say, we're thrilled with today's appt. I still have the hematoma, but the good news is that it hasn't grown since last Monday's u/s and the tech said it's starting to look much darker, meaning it could likely dry itself up very soon. - FINGERS CROSSED - I am still on bedrest for atleast another week. (Or couch rest as I've had enough of my bed. Our living room is so bright so it makes for a much more pleasant time.) So...return for one more appt in Nashville to the RE next Monday, and hopefully, she will release us. I've had this little belly bump pop up over the last week. The crazy thing - I haven't had 1 day of morning sickness, yet I've lost 4.5 pounds over the last two weeks. headscratch.gif I am guessing my body is letting loose of the water weight. I have been feeling somewhat dehydrated. Overall, it's been a great day in Memphis...even with 2 tornadoes. Sheesh!

 

 

Sending lots of love to each of you. I'll post more when I have more time!

 

 


Me (35). DP to S (39) ; Mommy to DS: J (6), Furball Pupps: L (10) & S (1) dog2.gifand a new little baby boy arriving on/around Dec 2.1sttri.gif
 
 
 
 

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Old 04-25-2011, 07:34 PM
 
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Starling~ WOOHOO!! What an awesome prezzie! Your DP will FLIP when she sees that! I agree, I'd love to see a photo of the bike and the freaking-out-with-excitement look on her face. What a great sweetie you are!   And thank you so much for the thoughtful advice/perspective.  It's sometimes tough and uncertain, but honestly, I love nothing more than sitting in the rocking chair and looking at her tiny face.  Sorry you're still feeling ill xoxo

 

Escher~ My sister had a lot of headaches while she was pregnant. I've heard it can have something to do with all the extra blood your body's making right now. Still, if it's awful or doesn't go away, it can't hurt to ask the midwife. 

 

Juliet~ Biggest hugs for you.  Mean Christians are the very worst and I'm so sorry for you and your poor dp having to live in that kind of world with that kind of pain and abuse.  It's so hard to hear, but at least you know it's not true, just their crap.  A child in your care will be so wanted and loved~ who could ask for a better life than that?    

 

 

AHope~ Thanks for the encouragement!  I'm glad to hear you're healing, but it still can't be easy to miss your sweet kitty.  So wonderful you and your DP are there for each other. 

 

 

Christy~ Glad you checked in and HOORAY for the big, bouncy heartbeatin' baby!!!  That's so encouraging I'm sure, and I'm GLAD the bleedy bit is healing up. Couch rest sounds like it'd take its toll after a while.   Yikes on the tornadoes!!  When we drove to visit my grandmother last week, our drive home was interrupted with bad weather. We had to pull over and sit at a fast food joint for half an hour while the tornadic storm in our path blew past. Fun springtime on the plains!!
 

 

Nothin' much else~ I'll post some pix of Alice soon. I've got some good ones on the camera. 

 

Love to all xoxo

 

 

 

 

 


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Old 04-25-2011, 07:48 PM
 
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AmandaHope: I'm glad that you and DP are healing after your recent loss, and that your grandma's strength is improving. My partner is really sensitive to the loss of animals too. It can be really tough. It's good to hear that you're supporting each other and making it through.

 

JulieTea: I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I think as much as you've tried to brace yourselves for it, it must hurt immeasurably, and you and DP will need time to grieve and heal. You both deserve better than that, and I hope you have people around you - biological or chosen families - to support you through this, and to treat you with care and love during this big passage. It makes me nuts when I hear about this stuff. Healing thoughts to you and your DP - take good care of yourselves.

 

Library: My midwives have given us quite a bit of information about herbs to increase supply - let me know if you want me to forward any info. You sound like you're doing admirably, though.

 

Seraf: What's the binky study? Have fun at the zoo with your kiddos.

 

Yellow: Welcome to the third trimester club with all its glamorous membership perks!

 

Starling: Have you guys definitely decided on finding out the genital indication, or are you changing your minds from time to time? Some folks say morning sickness is worse with boys - if you put any stock in that sort of thing. I had pretty bad MS and am having a boy, FWIW. That's an amazing birthday present for your DP. I'd love to make some lifelong dream like that come true for my DH one day (well, aside from having children!). So thoughtful and generous of you.

 

AFM:  A few days from term, seeing the MWs tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get the go-ahead to come off the Procardia. I had a great weekend with DH, re-charging after a stressful health week for me, and a stressful work week for him. I spent my allotment of "upright time" at the farmer's market, and got a couple of really wonderful meals out of the free-range meat, heirloom tomatoes, and lovely local cheese we bought as a treat. We basically spent the rest of the weekend eating, in bed. Had kind of an uncomfortable email correspondence with our doula - I'm worried I picked the wrong one, but I've signed a contract and sent cheques, so I don't think I can back out now.

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Old 04-26-2011, 05:02 AM
 
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Imogen and Library, they say that binkies reduce the risk of SIDS.  Now, since we didn't evolve with binks, I kind of think that human newborns may be born with the expectation of sleeping with a nipple in their mouths, but really, not that nipple.  Has she gained weight, Miss Alice?  Another way you can make sure she's eating enough involves looking at her soft spot.  If it's sunken in, she needs more.  Have you learned to nurse in the sling yet?  It makes life a whole lot more portable, so you don't feel like you're tied down by nursing.

 

Ahh, time for work.  12 weeks today.  Woo hoo.  


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Old 04-26-2011, 07:31 AM
 
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Imogen: Congrats on nearly making it to term! It is almost time to start trying to get the little one out! (not that you should have any issues there!)

 

Seraf- 12 weeks! Yay!! I bet you are getting a baby bump now! As far as friday goes we will play it by ear depending on the weather. We go a lot so I am not quite as willing to walk around in the rain. You guys should move up this way........ we go once a week in the summer.  I don't use binks either...just my breast. I don't really worry about SIDS because I cosleep and spend most of the night holding the baby  with my nipple in their mouths. But I do circ, I battled the decision with myself but have a few guy friends that are not circed and they wished they were. I still don't know if it is the right decision but  I certainly don't think it is for everyone.

 

Amanda- How are you holding up? How is DP?

 Starling: I like you analogy of the 4th trimester, it is my favorite part of life I think. Although I am not sure how different it will be with 2. I doubt there will be quite as much sitting in my bed staring at my little newborn....

 

Library- More pics please :)

 

Juliet- Some of my fam is hyper christian and bigots too, it is frustrating and annoying. My brother said he feels so bad for Harrison because he won't have a dad. Only 2 moms. Which is funny because we don't have a dad and my mom is straight! I put any negative talk on extinction and he has been coming around.

 

AFM:  Off to the Chiropractor! I had a half glass of wine last night and it was not as amazing as I thought. I am half disappointed and half relieved. I will def have no trouble making it through the rest. I think I just needed to take the wonder out of it. (it did taste amazing)

Have a good day all!

 

 


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Old 04-26-2011, 01:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wehrli View Post

~NAK~ please forgive my lack of personals

AHope, sorry to hear about your grandma... and your kitty friend. hope gramma recovers soon!

afm, it's my first day home alone with the boy... he's 3 weeks old today! going to try and get to my birth story today... we'll see... here is a link to some photos from the last 2 weeks.

Silas - 2nd&3rd week

Look at all that HAIR!! He is beautiful joy.gif

S & Yrainbow1284.gif (Vermont Civil Union 7/8/03) DS1 Holdennovaxnocirc.gif (4/25/07) and two in heaven  angel.gif1/10 &  angel.gif5/10 our rainbow1284.gif is here  DS2 Keegan(5/23/11)homebirth.jpg
 
 
 
  

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Old 04-26-2011, 08:17 PM
 
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QOTD - when and what have you been craving since getting your BFP?

 

At 4/5 weeks, I wanted donuts, and only donuts! Since I've been 5/6, I will take someone's arm off for jalapenos and/or bananas. Poor DS doesn't even look at the bananas because he knows mommy will eat them ALL - and fast! nono.gif


Me (35). DP to S (39) ; Mommy to DS: J (6), Furball Pupps: L (10) & S (1) dog2.gifand a new little baby boy arriving on/around Dec 2.1sttri.gif
 
 
 
 

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Old 04-27-2011, 05:04 AM
 
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QOTD,, I've been very into donuts and bananas, too.  I even made donuts, but the recipe was awful and that quite nipped my craving in the bud.  I like spicy foods still.  So excited to have Indian food Friday (even tho I wouldn't really call that spicy).  I have been heavy into carbs, which isn't all that common for me.  Currently my stomach is made of steel (again) and I will eat anything thats set in front of me.  Mostly potato salad and at the moment.  I have put on 6 pounds total, I feel happy that it leveled off because its not excessive for first trimester.

 

So back to those soakers, I have been busy last week with the holiday and house guests but I'm planning to lanolize them this week and get them in the mail.  If anyone wants to PM me shipping details they will get one in the mail in about a week?

 

Really weird dream.  One of my first home care clients, back when I was 19, was in it.  I got to hang out with her and then she went out for pizza (never in a million years would that happen).  Later, while we were having a picnic at a shooting range (?!?) I heard that she had died when a piece of her medical equipment exploded and they were saying she was a terrorist and had planted a bomb, so I spent the whole rest of the dream trying to clear her name.  

 

Baby plays soccer now, it's pretty cool.  I don't feel movement all the time (Osha moved literally non-stop, I was afraid he never slept) but when I sit still I feel quite a bit sometimes.  

 

Yellow, I somehow missed your post, surely we can play it by ear.  I used to go zooing weekly when I lived up there, too.  Haha, you know I'm all about the evolution thing, so I figure if a baby took the trouble to grow a foreskin I might as well let him keep it.  I know guys who were cut and wish they weren't, so I know it goes both ways.  I figure if my kid wants it done bad enough he can get it done, but he can't grow it back.  To each their own.  I think lesbians are among the more likely to circ partly because of the whole, 'he comes from a "different" family, so I might as well make him more normal' mentality (I clearly don't fit that HAHA).  Outside of the midwest the rates are declining drastically.  And of course the whole rest of the world doesn't have a problem with intactness, so I figure guys who wish they were cut have some societal stuff behind that.  You will see my ever expanding bump soon, hopefully.  


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