Carmen ...omom reminded me of several points (great post!).
We also did a graduated weaning, as in started with no nursing from midnight to four, then five, then six, then once we had accomplished that, we moved to no nursing from bedtime (0930) to 7am.
We also co-sleep and still co-sleep, and I agree that the best thing is to do all your comforting or dp's comforting IN THE BED. A wise friend told me that if any of the comforting takes place out of the bed, chances are that you will have a whole new problem. We stayed lying down, with the lights off, and kept talking and explaining to a bare minimum: "Num-nums are sleeping. Now is the time for sleeping. Shhhh, shhhh, night-night."
Now that she's older, I do a little more explaining, for example, when she's anxious or had a nightmare or is working on teeth.
And it wasn't that easy, that's for sure. It was hard for about a week, then got a little less hard the second week, then not-so hard the third week. We did it when neither of us had any Big Days (outside of normal work, etc) so that there would be no more pressure than was already being felt.
Lots of great suggestions and lots of detail...which is very helpful. I have already been doing the 'limit nursing sessions' for a couple of months now. She's fine with it and falls asleep no problem. It's also very helpful that she just started wanting to fall asleep without nursing when she first goes down. Strange but true! She nurses on my lap then asks to lay down beside me and she's out.
I think we will start with a time frame where milkies go to sleep. I'm worried about going really slow as I'm not sure how that will go over. I think we'll start with a 5 hour stretch and see how we go. I'm scared that it will be tough on her but at the same time I really do believe that in the long run it will help us all! I'll keep y'all updated...and thanks so much for the support and suggestions
I just happened to see that we were talking nightweaning, so I wanted to pop on with our experience too. We used formula (after an unsuccessful attempt at BFAR), but co-slept and E ate around the clock. There were times, in the 9-11 month stretch, that he was eating every 45 minutes.
We tried to nightwean at 16 months. It was a TOTAL failure. We tried to go from midnight to 5 am with no milk, and E stayed up for those 5 hours. Seriously. Not all-out crying, but just moaning and crawling around and tossing and turning and there was no consoling him. He kept saying "I'm hungry! I'm hungry!" After three nights of being up for 5 hours straight in the middle of the night, we decided he just wasn't ready. Back we went to bottles all night. Since he was an early talker, I felt like I couldn't ignore the obvious "I'm hungry" plea.
Then at 23 months, we tried again. He put up a bit of a fuss the first night, and that was it. It didn't lead to him sleeping through the night (he didn't do that for the first time until 3yo), but at least it wasn't 20oz of milk every night anymore.
Even now, though, he sometimes wakes and says he's hungry. We've found ourselves feeding him applesauce or yogurt or cheese in the wee hours of the morning many a time since nightweaning. Silly kid and his fast metabolism.
Good luck carmen!
Thanks, lemur :) That sounds pretty rough the first time around for you. I'm hoping it goes more smoothly with DD but we'll see. We are hoping to start this week. DP is inbetween work projects so I think we are both up to the possibility of even more disrupted sleep.
hey, would anyone be interested in voting for my photo of little ari in a contest on here?! PLEASE!
Voting ends soon.
I'm image number 3, post 4.
Thanks so so so much!
DP to Sara, two crazy kids running around, lil dude born 11-1-11 and the new guy is home !! (5/2/12)
Awww wehrli, he is so cute!
How are any/all of you doing in the heat? It was over 100°F here yesterday (around 42°C), and we don't have A/C. Whew. I am very very pleased that it's closer to 30°C here today! We're buying a pool pass for the municipal pools tomorrow, so that'll help us beat the heat some I am sure. Other than that, if them temps keep up we just might have to hang at the mall more this summer.
Wehrli - Silas is such a stylin' dude. I love his hair and all of the awesome stuff you can do with it.
Lemurmommies - No a/c!!!! We also hit those temps yesterday and with the humidity, I was sure thankful for the a/c. Having this heat generating nursling wrapped around me means that I don't have the heat tolerance I once did.
Speaking of heat, I'm beginning to think about summer activities. Our big kids are gone to summer camp for July and that will leave me with 4-5 weeks to provide some entertainment for the whole clan (ages 13, soon to be 16 and I'll be bringing along the baby, too). I'd like to do at least one really great outing each week and it's got to be cost effective as I don't have any additional resources to tap into. QOTD: What kind of day activities/outings are you planning for the summer? We have some great beaches to explore, so what else is an option?
DW and I are moms to two teens (DD 17 and DS 15) adopted through CAS in 2007 and a toddler (DD 2) born at home in March 2011.
Wehrli, what a cutie.
Lemur, we have air in the bedroom, but I'm so evil I won't allow it to be on at night while I'm sleeping. That may change as it gets hotter, tho. Popcicles. Sprinkler, pool pass!!! Cooking outdoors to avoid heating up the house. We also keep little bean bags in the freezer. We pull them out at night to snuggle. We heat them in the microwave in the winter. The kids each have a little fan and a misting squirt bottle by their beds if they need to cool down in the night.
Gumshoe, does your local zoo have a free day? Some are a certain day every month, ours is free if you ride the bus on wednesday or something. My kids are so young a day of riding the bus is actual entertainment. A lot of museums have free days, so you could try calling around for those too. Any caverns/caves/national parks to explore? We have a gorge/cave complex nearby which has the added advantage of built in air conditioning. We travel all summer. We went to the beach last month. This month, august and september we are camping. Going to DC one month. Not incredibly cheap, but lots of fun.
QOTD: What kind of day activities/outings are you planning for the summer?
we're a big fan of parks, so we'll be going to parks a lot. One fun idea we had since DS gets up so early was to make a picnic breakfast and head to the park in the morning. I want to go kite flying and make paper kites. We may splurge and take DS to the water park. They have reduced tix at the community centers. Tide pooling. In the fall we'll go on a farm tour. Strawberry picking right now, blueberries later in the summer. Various hiking/green spaces around town. In the fall we're going to try to find an apple orchard where they press cider.
Queer Parenting since 2007
We don't have our own kiddies just yet but we have all these nieces and nephews that we try to spend as much time with as possible and DW is an event planner so she is really good at finding activities! Here are a few at top of mind
- Tubing is a favorite for us. Pack a picnic lunch, tie the inner rubes loosely together with a long rope and spend the day floating down a river with a stop for lunch. Even if you go through an outfitter, it is not terribly expensive and they provide transportation to the start point.
- Get on the email list for a couple of our local bowling alleys and they offer lots of free and drastically reduced bowling deals for kids during weekdays in the summer.
- A couple of our local movieplexs shows daytime (second run) movies for $1 kids/$2 adults. We also have another second run theater that is $2 for everyone all the time.
- Check out a local parks and recreation catalog. They have great inexpensive options for kids including free family festivals, nature exploration programs, instructional/educational outdoor activities such as hikes and kayaking, etc.
- My personal favorites are what I call urban adventures. Going to the city with a destination or two in mind (could be historical spot, museum, park, etc.) then walk from point to point and see what you can discover in between. Another variation on this theme is to do a little research on an area and create a mini-scavenger hunt with clues that must be followed to get to certain places. You can even have a little prize at the end to make it fun!
Mad about DP with canine children.
Proud auntie to 8 nieces and nephews.
TTC #1 since October 2010.
Survived the heat with no AC! This evening temps are down in the 60s. Hooray for Canadian summer! :)
- We got a municipal pool pass for the family, so will be going to leisure swim several times a week. Our municipality also has several free outdoor splash parks, so I imagine that we'll be talking advantage of those as well.
- We have a zoo membership and a museum membership, so I imagine we'll be going to each of those at least once a month.
- We're headed to PA/DC in early August, so that will keep us entertained for a few days!
- E is playing soccer on Thursday evenings. Funny kid - he doesn't seem to have an athletic bone in his body, but boy does he enjoy himself.
- Lastly, we live in a housing co-op, and almost all the neighbours have 3+ kids - this means that we've got built-in playmates all summer long. We're getting a sprinkler, so I am sure that will be fun for all of them. And there will be lots of freezie eating and playing in the dirt with trucks and all that fun stuff that they like to do.
Lastly, we live in a housing co-op, and almost all the neighbours have 3+ kids - this means that we've got built-in playmates all summer long. We're getting a sprinkler, so I am sure that will be fun for all of them. And there will be lots of freezie eating and playing in the dirt with trucks and all that fun stuff that they like to do.
Ohhhh, I would love to live in a housing co-op!
Queer Parenting since 2007
: We also hit the beach a lot. We love exploring new playgrounds. A lot of them have waterparks as well so I'm looking forward to them this year as DD didn't really enjoy them much last year. I'm hoping to go camping this year. There are also a ton of free festivals in the summer that we go to....I put them in my calendar and we basically have a festival or park/beach to go to every weekend. We are also huge fans of picnics so we go on lots. I think we might try a drive in movie this summer too. Mostly we just try and get outside as much as possible....doesn't matter where it is. I know it's probably different with teenagers but right now even playing in the courtyard of our townhouse complex is big fun for DD :)
Oh, I also have another QOTD....I may be heading to Philadelphia for a work trip in the fall and DP and DD will tag along and we're trying to figure out where else to go...I usually tack on extra time and make it a vacation. A couple of years ago I had a conference in Baltimore and we spent 2 weeks exploring DC, NYC, Boston, P-Town and lots of great small towns all the way to Maine! This time we'll spend a week in Philly, 1 or 2 nights in NYC and then not sure where to go...so, the QOTD is:
Any suggestions on where to go from NYC/Philly? (We can take a train or rent a car and are thinking smaller town/artsy/hippy-ish with interesting cafes/shops/scenery)
@Carmen - are you in Vancouver? If so, that is an amazing place in the summer. I keep wanting to get back up there for a vacay.
Queer Parenting since 2007
Got to brag. Last year they were both in floaties. This is day 3 at the pool. There was plenty of swimming over the winter but this is a big change this week. He is the one in green and he's 8. She is in pink and red and she's 5 1/2.
Just have to drop in to say how great your kids look, Seraf! Strong swimming, especially for being in floaties only last year! Do you guys go swimming at the pool often?
Mom and Mama to our Clever daughter (9.1.12), and cautiously expecting our rainbow baby after a miscarriage in February! We have a blog, too!
Coco, they are stinking adorable!.
Desert, This was their 3rd day at the pool this summer. The second day they got rained out after 20 minutes. The video was shot about 10 minutes after she learned to swim underwater.
Carmen, New Hope, PA is a nice, artsy town not far from Philly. Think you'd have to drive, not train, though. Alternately, you could rent a car and go to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Fun, family friendly, lots of gays. Also, the Pocono Mountains have lots of mountainy, lakey things, though I don't know much about them.
Here's another QOTD for you guys: How do you talk about death and killing in your houses?
Our DD is almost 3, and death has come up at various times. The family dog, Martin Luther King, older relatives she never met. I'm not sure how much she gets it, but we do talk about it. This weekend, however, I killed a giant centipede in our apartment. The whole thing was really traumatic- centipede running at DD while she was on the toilet, DD yelling, me chasing down centipede and whacking it with my shoe. Afterwards, she didn't want to get off the toilet because she was afraid the centipede would get her. I said, "It's okay, Ocean, I killed the centipede." She then looked at me in horror and said, "That's not nice!" Right. So, I have sort of conflicted feelings about this. I practice non-violence (or try to) in all aspects of my life. Except, it turns out, when it comes to bugs and centipedes in my house. (Am I a bad person? Do others on this list kill bugs?) How do you talk to kids about how it's never okay to hurt or kill other beings, but then, well, kill other beings? I feel like such a hypocrite. Help?
A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!
Building queer family since 2008!
(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)
We talk about death in our household, I don't think we've really addressed killing in the context of people killing people or people killing animals. We don't kill bugs (DW has set spiders free for pretty much our entire relationship so this isn't new) so us killing a bug isn't a huge issue.
My work involves a lot of death so it's not a taboo topic. We've explained to DS that people die for many different reasons - old age, accidents - and he seems okay with that. We've also euthanized two cats since DS was born, burying one in the yard, so he knows that you can go to the doctor, get a shot a die. Yikes. The nuances are sometimes hard to explain. I don't think I have a easy packaged up answer to how we can kill bugs but then be against killing. I do sometimes tell DS that they don't have a central nervous system which causes DW to roll her eyes. I get the most in trouble with other peoples kids because I'll talk about death very very casually and forget that maybe they haven't talked about death to their kids yet. Again, YIKES.
Queer Parenting since 2007
Angela ... We're just getting into that topic here because one of the neighbourhood dogs died recently. E is still too young to get what happened, but I use the language and speak frankly and trust that she'll start to understand more fully when she gets there developmentally. She asks about the dog, and reminds us that he 'died and isn't here anymore because he's dead'. She asks where he is, and that's a little more difficult to answer. He was cremated, but I think that's beyond her 2 yr old self to wrap her head around without being traumatic to think about, so we tell her that his body is gone. Haven't ventured past that yet.
I also see death on a nearly daily basis at work, so it will not be taboo in the least in our house. Harder to talk about killing, and I'm not sure how that will play out, but I know it eventually will. With children that I worked with, I often went with their lead and answered their questions as they came up. I took a 'death notification' course a while back and learned a fair bit about delivering the news that a loved one had died, and I plan on bringing some of those concepts into my parenting. Namely, using frank, clear language, sticking to the facts, and steering clear of spiritualizing it, being that we don't believe in an afterlife in our house. But that's us, and it's all theoretical at this point. Utilmately, who knows!