Steaming Mad and Need to Vent! - Stupid "because your son has no father" comment - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 01:11 PM - Thread Starter
pranava's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 958
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)

OK, I'm steaming mad and I need to vent hopmad.gif  This is from just 15 minutes ago - According to my Dad, my son has delayed gross and fine motor skills because he doesn't have a man around to rough house him. (DS has two moms)   GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   That logic is so faulty, I don't even know where to begin.   Maybe I should toss my 2 year old DS around, wrestle him to the ground, give him a good noogie because I'm sure THAT would fix EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!     I'm going to break my keyboard typing this I'm so mad. 


1) LOTS of boys are raised by single mothers and go on to be professional athletes.


2) Rough housing has nothing to do with fine motor skills.


3) Girls that don't get rough housed can still walk OK.


4) I do play rough and tumble with DS when he wants to.


5) Some boys have fathers that DON'T rough house them.


6) It's just plain the stupidest thing I've heard in a long time!


I'm sure you guys can come up with more.  Thanks for listening.  I needed to get that off my chest to some peeps who would understand winky.gif and yet still splat.gif

Life is strange and wonderful.  Me read.gif, DP lady.gif, DS (3/09) blahblah.gif , 3 dog2.gif  and 4 cat.gif

pranava is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 01:42 PM
KnittingTigers's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I'm so sorry. People are so fricken ignorant sometimes, and I find it particularly painful and maddening when those people are my relatives.


I don't know enough about your dad or your relationship with him to offer any real advice, but I will say that DP and I have found it helpful to simply not tell my mother certain things about DD.


Big hugs. Your son is great, and is so lucky to have two fabulous mamas.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

KnittingTigers is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 02:00 PM
CI Mama's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 792
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What a thoughtless comment! I'm sorry your dad felt a need to say that.


If fixing motor delays was that easy, why aren't doctors prescribing "man around the house" as a cure-all?



Living in Wisconsin with my partner of 20+ years and our DDenergy.gif(Born 10/09/08 ribboncesarean.gif). Why CI Mama? Because I love contact improvisation!

CI Mama is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 03:12 PM
seraf's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: in transition in ohio
Posts: 4,978
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Perhaps he should volunteer to come over and play with his grandson more often, if he thinks it's that important.  


Generally I just say, "Oh, the doctor said it was possibly related to X, Y and Z.  She didn't mention a lack of rough play, but here is the plan to correct it..."

carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
seraf is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 07:36 PM
atlantafemme's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: north carolina
Posts: 217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Total crap. Our son's motor skills are not delayed and there's no man-initiated rough-housing in his life either. Maybe your father's comment was coming from a place of insecurity--as in, your choice to raise children with two moms and no father is somehow a comment on his fathering. Of course, he could also just be regurgitating the socially-constructed gendered family norms with which our culture indoctrinates people. Either way, I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I agree with AngelaM. There are some things we just don't tell our families about our children because we don't want to hear unhelpful, unsupportive and/or infuriating opinions. 

mom to DS born 5/29/09, DS #2 born 5/2/2011, partner to a PhD (finally!), pleased to be co-sleepin', lovin' our 3 cats and 4 dogs and raisin' our LOs vegetarian.
atlantafemme is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 05-16-2011, 05:55 AM
MoonWillow's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pemberly
Posts: 3,852
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

That seems to be the same logic as crying being "good for the lungs" disappointed.gif



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

MoonWillow is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 14,431

46 members and 14,385 guests
Agustin Apostilla , BarefootBrooke , Boodah'smama , Dakotacakes , Dear_Rosemary , debby.tae , Deborah , Dovenoir , easydoesit , emmy526 , FyerFly , girlspn , greenemami , happy-mama , hillymum , IsaFrench , justlizzy , Kelleybug , lhargrave89 , Lucee , Lydia08 , MamaLeigh , McDoodlePants , Michele123 , midnight mom , Mirzam , moominmamma , motherVS , NaturallyKait , pokeyac , RollerCoasterMama , rubelin , samaxtics , scaramouche131 , shantimama , Springshowers , sren , teacozy , TerryMoorman , tlaga , zebra15 , Zilver , zoeyzoo
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.