Steaming Mad and Need to Vent! - Stupid "because your son has no father" comment - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 01:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, I'm steaming mad and I need to vent hopmad.gif  This is from just 15 minutes ago - According to my Dad, my son has delayed gross and fine motor skills because he doesn't have a man around to rough house him. (DS has two moms)   GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   That logic is so faulty, I don't even know where to begin.   Maybe I should toss my 2 year old DS around, wrestle him to the ground, give him a good noogie because I'm sure THAT would fix EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!     I'm going to break my keyboard typing this I'm so mad. 

 

1) LOTS of boys are raised by single mothers and go on to be professional athletes.

 

2) Rough housing has nothing to do with fine motor skills.

 

3) Girls that don't get rough housed can still walk OK.

 

4) I do play rough and tumble with DS when he wants to.

 

5) Some boys have fathers that DON'T rough house them.

 

6) It's just plain the stupidest thing I've heard in a long time!

 

I'm sure you guys can come up with more.  Thanks for listening.  I needed to get that off my chest to some peeps who would understand winky.gif and yet still splat.gif


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#2 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 01:42 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. People are so fricken ignorant sometimes, and I find it particularly painful and maddening when those people are my relatives.

 

I don't know enough about your dad or your relationship with him to offer any real advice, but I will say that DP and I have found it helpful to simply not tell my mother certain things about DD.

 

Big hugs. Your son is great, and is so lucky to have two fabulous mamas.


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#3 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 02:00 PM
 
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What a thoughtless comment! I'm sorry your dad felt a need to say that.

 

If fixing motor delays was that easy, why aren't doctors prescribing "man around the house" as a cure-all?

 

 


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#4 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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Perhaps he should volunteer to come over and play with his grandson more often, if he thinks it's that important.  

 

Generally I just say, "Oh, the doctor said it was possibly related to X, Y and Z.  She didn't mention a lack of rough play, but here is the plan to correct it..."


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#5 of 6 Old 04-28-2011, 07:36 PM
 
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Total crap. Our son's motor skills are not delayed and there's no man-initiated rough-housing in his life either. Maybe your father's comment was coming from a place of insecurity--as in, your choice to raise children with two moms and no father is somehow a comment on his fathering. Of course, he could also just be regurgitating the socially-constructed gendered family norms with which our culture indoctrinates people. Either way, I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I agree with AngelaM. There are some things we just don't tell our families about our children because we don't want to hear unhelpful, unsupportive and/or infuriating opinions. 


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#6 of 6 Old 05-16-2011, 05:55 AM
 
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That seems to be the same logic as crying being "good for the lungs" disappointed.gif

 

 

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