thought i could post here since I really love the love this group has for one another...
I lost my ex father in law today.. he has been in the hosp for several weeks..
The hard part is my ex and I do not really talk.. we were together for almost 5 yrs and her family was a big part of my life.. sadly when we broke up it was not pretty and I have not really talked to her and most of the family.. I have seen her parents a few times since our break up ( 3 yrs ago) and I loved her dad.. he was such an amazing soul ...
my ? is how to process it.. DP is not one to talk to about it as shes not a fan of anything to do with an ex... I dont feel its my place to go to the funeral..... but i am saddened by the loss of such a wonderful person in my life....
Has anyone dealt with this before..... sigh
but you can create a special way to honor him. I hope that you are able to find a way to get through this and have your emotional needs met and that dp can give you some space to do it. Hugs to you.
Mama (37) to a sweet 4-year-old daughter, a baby girl born 1/18/12 and wife to a fantastic woman.
No experience with this, but big hugs to you. If he was married, maybe you could send a sympathy card to his wife?
A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!
Building queer family since 2008!
(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)
I would definitely write a letter to his wife, and possibly even to your ex, if you want to go there--she's got to be hurting and I think it helps people to know that the one they lost was important to others. I'd also consider a donation to his favorite charity or possibly sending flowers (you can do this anonymously if you want) to the funeral since you can't be there. I also think that your DP should be able to be there while you grieve--it isn't your ex you're grieving for, it's a person who was (and so always will be) part of your family.
And so are the boys!