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How do you talk to your kids about politicized homophobia and bigotry?

10K views 142 replies 34 participants last post by  MoonWillow 
#1 ·
I'm wondering specifically about people like, oh, say Pat Robertson?

How do you explain to your kids when someone espouses such hatred for your family?

What would you do if an organization you support, and whose goals you generally agree with, supports a political or religious figure who promotes homophobia and hatred?

This recently came up for our family, and I'm wondering what you would do in a similar circumstance.

Thanks!
 
#105 ·
MoonWillow, it has been several days with no response from Peggy. Would you mind directing her attention to this thread? All we want to know is why her name is still on the list of advisors of Alive and Well and when she stopped supporting them.

If Peggy could be so kind as to clear up this confusion. As it stands now the only reasonable conclusion one could come to is that Peggy is lying about her affiliation with Alive and Well, which couldn't possibly be true!
 
#107 ·
I honestly didn't remember that I was on the board of Alive and Well. Christine Maggiore originally asked me to be on the board of Moms Against Mandatory Medication, which I don't think exists any more and I think the boards have been merged. I'm not ashamed to be on the advisory board for Alive and Well. I'm concerned about the issues facing HIV positive pregnant and breastfeeding moms and want to support parents making informed choices about mandatory medication in any arena. I'm not going to resign from the board.

Please note that Marian Tompson, one of the founding mothers of La Leche League, is also on the board. She and I met Christine at the same time and have both been concerned about the implications for breastfeeding when a mom tests positive for HIV. I think that our knowledge of breastfeeding and work in this area have contributed to increasing the choices for HIV positive moms. Marian and I began hosting workshops on HIV and breastfeeding at LLL conferences in the mid-nineties that have now attracted an international attendance. Marian knew from her work with breastfeeding that exclusive breastfeeding is not always distinguished from mixed feeding in research and she began to encourage the differentiation of exclusive breastfeeding in HIV research. This led to changing the World Health Organization recommendations regarding HIV and breastfeeding.

I'm happy to answer any other questions you have about this subject.
 
#108 ·
Do you realize that Alive and Well argues that HIV does not cause AIDS by using out of date, incomplete or inaccurate information, and by claiming that AIDS is just the name given to 29 common illnesses despite the fact that at least one of these 'common' illnesses is not at all common in individuals with a healthy immune system?
 
#110 ·
And if you want to support parents making informed choices about mandatory medicine, isn't it best to work through an organization or group that doesn't operate solely to discredit, not just the medication, but the disease as well?
 
#111 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peggy O'Mara View Post

I honestly didn't remember that I was on the board of Alive and Well. Christine Maggiore originally asked me to be on the board of Moms Against Mandatory Medication, which I don't think exists any more and I think the boards have been merged. I'm not ashamed to be on the advisory board for Alive and Well. I'm concerned about the issues facing HIV positive pregnant and breastfeeding moms and want to support parents making informed choices about mandatory medication in any arena. I'm not going to resign from the board.

Please note that Marian Tompson, one of the founding mothers of La Leche League, is also on the board. She and I met Christine at the same time and have both been concerned about the implications for breastfeeding when a mom tests positive for HIV. I think that our knowledge of breastfeeding and work in this area have contributed to increasing the choices for HIV positive moms. Marian and I began hosting workshops on HIV and breastfeeding at LLL conferences in the mid-nineties that have now attracted an international attendance. Marian knew from her work with breastfeeding that exclusive breastfeeding is not always distinguished from mixed feeding in research and she began to encourage the differentiation of exclusive breastfeeding in HIV research. This led to changing the World Health Organization recommendations regarding HIV and breastfeeding.

I'm happy to answer any other questions you have about this subject.
Why is it important that you tell us about Marian Tompson? To warn us of another guru spreading dangerous misinformation? To add credibility to Alive and Well? To distract us from our anger with you? This somehow feels like the kid in the school office having been caught doing something wrong, and has decided to spill his guts about what OTHER kids are doing.
 
#113 ·
If the UA violations continue, this thread will be closed.

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#116 ·
There is no harassment, MoonWillow. We are merely asking questions. None of this would have happened if Peggy had said to begin with she was on the board of Alive and Well. Instead she lied about it and is now ignoring us or making stuff up when called out. I don't think this is very respectful to the users of Mothering.
 
#117 ·
Harrassment is a pretty hardcore term for what has happened in this thread. People have wanted answers to these questions for years. Peggy seems to sit as an enigma and her presence on the actual board as far as posting has been fleeting and rare. The week or more that the community sat here and waited to answers to the follow up questions - about a subject that is very real and dear to many our hearts - was not filled with obnoxious pestering. People bided their time. They were respectful. I think that is Peggy wants to follow her own UA she should find some time to be authentic and discuss with us our concerns. Because this is a very, very important subject to the people who are posting in this thread.
 
#118 ·
Yes harass.

MusicianDad you're questions are fine. I'm not referring to any of your posts.

Nanny you're posts in particular have been problematic. Here's one example:

I guess no one reminded you when you spoke at Maggiores memorial service.
This is a valid and important question? No. Its a sarcastic accusation.

Given that people refuse to take what Peggy says at face value, I fail to see how this thread can ever reach a peaceful conclusion. Since she offered to answer more questions, I will leave it open for now *but* if people want questions answered then ask questions and refrain from hurling suspicions, nastiness and accusations of lying. Otherwise the thread will be locked.

Thank you.
 
#119 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonWillow View Post

Yes harass.

MusicianDad you're questions are fine. I'm not referring to any of your posts.

Nanny you're posts in particular have been problematic. Here's one example:

This is a valid and important question? No. Its a sarcastic accusation.

Given that people refuse to take what Peggy says at face value, I fail to see how this thread can ever reach a peaceful conclusion. Since she offered to answer more questions, I will leave it open for now *but* if people want questions answered then ask questions and refrain from hurling suspicions, nastiness and accusations of lying. Otherwise the thread will be locked.

Thank you.
OK, I will turn it into a valid and important question:

Dear Peggy,

Were you aware at the time of the memorial service that you were still a member of the board of Alive and Well?

[And, a few follow-on questions of my own]

If the answer to the above is "no", then did you ever receive notice that you were no longer a board member of Alive and Well or did you ever render a resignation in the past? If the answer is "no" to both of those, what led you to believe that you were no longer a board member?

As you are still a board member with no intention of resigning, can you please clarify whether you support Alive and Well's claims that AIDS is not a real disease caused by the HIV virus?

Lastly, can you please explain how your membership in an organization that blames the victims of an awful, devastating disease for their own demise and denies that they even have a defined disease demonstrates a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere?

Respectfully yours,

amma_mama
 
#120 ·
So, I think that maybe what's at the source of the tension here - and the reason that people have occasionally veered off course from strictly respectful dialogue - is that many of us within the queer community feel that AIDS denialism is an attack on those who live with (and die from) HIV/AIDS. Many of whom are poor, people of color, and/or LGBT. I think that perhaps if we address this head-on it might bring us a bit of clarity about why this conversation is getting so tense.
 
#121 ·
Thank you Angela for that post! Its a great example of making yourself clear without resorting to snark.

This;

Quote:

OK, I will turn it into a valid and important question, in a cheerful shade of purple in a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere:
is yet another perfect example of the sarcasm that I was referring to.
 
#122 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonWillow View Post

Thank you Angela for that post! Its a great example of making yourself clear without resorting to snark.

This;

is yet another perfect example of the sarcasm that I was referring to.
Though you did not ask, I will edit what you deemed to be snark (while ignoring the validity of the questions that I asked). I guess for many of us, the constant mincing of words while ignoring the big issues is what brings on all the supposed "snark". Honest questions have been asked and have yet to be met with honest answers. There was nothing in my questions, themselves, that were snarky in any way. You went out of your way to highlight specific aspects of the UA with which we must comply. The community is asking for Peggy to treat us as respectfully as you all expect us to treat one another.
 
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#123 ·
MoonWillow, I'm going to try to say this respectfully. It looks like you are stonewalling on behalf of Peggy O, over snark that is so light it barely qualifies as snark, let alone "harassment." I don't know if that is your intent, and I hope it isn't. Peggy O's response was mincing, and looked quite frankly dishonest. I'm not surprised it isn't being warmly received, and once again, queer parents feel put down by MDC. Including their own moderator. Great. If Peggy O wants to come in and clarify, it's not like people don't want to hear it. They've been waiting for an explanation for years. Amma_Mama's questions were actually very good, and I'd like to hear an answer to them.
 
#124 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by amma_mama View Post

Though you did not ask, I will edit what you deemed to be snark (while ignoring the validity of the questions that I asked). I guess for many of us, the constant mincing of words while ignoring the big issues is what brings on all the supposed "snark". Honest questions have been asked and have yet to be met with honest answers. There was nothing in my questions, themselves, that were snarky in any way. You went out of your way to highlight specific aspects of the UA with which we must comply. The community is asking for Peggy to treat us as respectfully as you all expect us to treat one another.
I did not "ignore the validity" of your questions. They weren't posed to me. And I did not go out of my way to point out UAVs. I've been modding this thread for weeks (which is my job). Also, you say that the answers thus far have not been honest but that is a BIG assumption (an incorrect one at that).

All that *I* am asking is that members post without making user agreement violations, which they agreed to do when registering for an account here in the first place.

Thank you.
 
#125 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmeyrick View Post

MoonWillow, I'm going to try to say this respectfully. It looks like you are stonewalling on behalf of Peggy O, over snark that is so light it barely qualifies as snark, let alone "harassment." I don't know if that is your intent, and I hope it isn't. Peggy O's response was mincing, and looked quite frankly dishonest. I'm not surprised it isn't being warmly received, and once again, queer parents feel put down by MDC. Including their own moderator. Great. If Peggy O wants to come in and clarify, it's not like people don't want to hear it. They've been waiting for an explanation for years. Amma_Mama's questions were actually very good, and I'd like to hear an answer to them.
I am not answering for Peggy at all. I am moderating the thread which I allowed to go off topic in the first place in order to help with how people in this forum were feeling. Please don't accuse me of disrespecting the queer parents here. They have been very respectful the whole time and its been my understanding that they like and appreciate me as well. If they feel otherwise then I am sure they will let me know.
 
#126 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonWillow View Post

I am not answering for Peggy at all. I am moderating the thread which I allowed to go off topic in the first place in order to help with how people in this forum were feeling. Please don't accuse me of disrespecting the queer parents here. They have been very respectful the whole time and its been my understanding that they like and appreciate me as well. If they feel otherwise then I am sure they will let me know.
Um, the queer parenting community here has felt very betrayed by MDC as of late. Slapping them on the wrists for having chilly responses to a lukewarm explanation was not necessary or productive. Peggy o is an adult and what was said here hardly qualifies as harassment. She ought to come answer the questions. Your threats to shut down the thread are reminiscent of the old UA and heavy-handed moderation.
 
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