Crystal—maybe you’re getting eased into the pain so by the time labor comes it won’t be so bad? (Don’t all you already-mamas love my charming labor-naïveté? I think it’s going to serve me well…) So exciting to find out the sex! I’ve been arguing about it with DP—she wants to know and I want it to be a surprise at the birth, but it’s exciting no matter when you find out!
AFM—our neighbors listened to my emailed plea and bought a standing floor fan, which we blessedly cannot hear from our bedroom (the box fan they had before was so loud we could hear it even with our windows closed). She had her jerk lawyer fiancé write me back to be intimidating, but the truth is, I’m not scared by lawyers. So now I just think they’re both jerks. Especially since he said they were using the fan not to get a cross-breeze (which would have made sense) but to block out the street noise. Which means that they understand noisy neighbors and not being able to sleep. Ugh. I’m just glad that the only thing waking me up all night is once again my bladder and lack of ability to get comfortable. I’m really bummed that my favorite sleep position used to be my left side and now is my back—so I’m going to have to train myself back into it, aren’t I?
And so are the boys!
Library - I guess I should clarify - my niece slept through the night for maybe 6-7 weeks or so of the 5 months we had her. She no longer does it - she just turned 1. My sister and I have sort of a casual arrangement where DP and I take the baby almost every weekend - we're kind of like the divorced Dad in the situation. Anyhoo - she rarely sleeps through the night. And when she went home to my sister, they didn't "sleep train" her or anything. She was REALLY bad for a few months, but has gotten much better recently, and actually sleeps better at her auntie's house than she does at her mom's house. Sadly, I don't think she'll sleep through the night consistently for a long time. Perhaps some kids are just like that. The Happiest Baby book more helped us with her constant fussing and actually GETTING her to sleep. The swaddling, the ssshing, the swinging, etc. It does get easier, I promise!
Partner (35) and I (32) have been together since 2004, TTC #1 since 9/09 - 7 failed IUIs with KD
12/17/10: First round IVF w/ WTBK donor results in ; 2/13/11 M/C after emergency surgery
Try #9 FET 4/11 - Negative. Try #10: IVF 6/11 - Negative. Next up: Try #11 FET 8/11
The Happiest Baby on the Block is the one and only book that laid out strategies that actually worked for us! I love that book. Love, love, love it. Don't love the toddler one thought.
Hi there, thread crashing a bit, but I just wanted to jump in for AHope and Library Lady. Our little guy had colic. I cut out dairy (all) and eggs which helped a little bit. But, what we ended up doing was walking outside with him in the moby or ergo (back in forth in front of our house) every night during the fussy time. We would sing him made up songs to try and distract but that seldom helped. The other thing we did was bounce up and down (while wearing him) on an exercise ball while watching The Cosby Show (great modeling of playful parenting in that *grin*) on netflix. This was what we did when weather didn't allow the outdoors.
I have read Happiest Baby (VERY helpful) and Healthy Sleep/Happy Baby (helpful but I think he's full of s*t when it comes to his belief that teething doesn't wake babies up at night) AND The No Cry Sleep Solution (not terribly helpful but it did lead to DS's ability to fall asleep off the breast).
Ultimately, I don't think anyone can make babies sleep or eat. We tried EVERYTHING and H started actually, consistently, sleeping all night at about 14 months (night weaned at 14 months for the second time). Now, (at almost 17 months) the no-sleep days seem like a very short period of time. So, one day at a time and I second Starling's serenity prayer!
Good luck!!! And, good luck to all the preggo's!
Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!
Of course, by posting the above I will have totally jinxed myself... Oh, and sex...the bf hormones have killed my libido (things got a bit better in that department after night weaning)--but on the plus side I haven't had AF in over 2 years now! (DW has articulated that we'll have littles for a short time and each other for a long time and so she's been fairly patient--which is not to say that we've never fought about it or had our lack of sex hanging over our heads! We've both given a little and compromised in this department--which is what it's taken for us).
Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!
Thanks, everybody, for your thoughts, insights, and advice. Thanks especially to 5G, Carmen, Wishin', and others dropping by. It feels great to hear that others have dealt with this and that for a few of you, the tough early fussy times are a distant memory already. There are plenty of things that I'll miss about this special time, of course, but not the colic! I read the Karp book during the pregnancy but am going to get it back out, especially for DP. The swaddling, side-holding, and shushing do help some of the time, sometimes quite well. Other times, not so much. I'm going to try Hyland's Colic Tabs, which someone recommended.
I had a great day yesterday. I was on my own but managed to time a drive out to a nearby suburb to look at and buy a stroller that I've been wanting for ages. I found it used on craigslist, which almost made it affordable. I wanted something that would allow Lilah to face me and has some suspension so that it wouldn't bump hard over cracks in the road (since she startles with the cheapo hand-me-down one). For those who are interested, it is a Quinny Buzz. The amazing thing is that Lilah was falling asleep, and I drove 40 min, put her in the stroller to try it out, and drove home with her still asleep! I had my rescue remedy in the car in case she freaked out and I had to keep driving--I was so relieved and felt nice and competent, which was a nice change from how I'd been feeling the day before.
Apart from retail therapy , I've been comforted by the serenity prayer and especially by thinking about her distress as telling us how she is feeling/expressing herself rather than as indicating a problem that I feel I should be able to solve. I'm still in problem-solving mode to some extent, but when she is just crying hard, thinking about it differently helps me feel less frazzled. Others are already starting to label her (including a well-meaning neighbor who saw how she cried no matter how I held her and called her a little "tyrant." Someone else said she was getting spoiled, because we hold her in order to help her fall asleep.) And I've gotten the rescue remedy handy, too. Thank you so much, especially Seraf and Starling, for your support. Seraf--your insight into parenting and kids is deep and wonderful. Have you considered writing a book or at least a blog?
Enough about us--
Sara: fingers crossed tight!
Isa: Yay for standing fans!
Crystal: Nothing in either of my labors/births hurt like it did when I slipped a disk in my back. Labor pain, in my experience, is intense but not sharp or acute (unless Pitocin is involved, and maybe with the few-second exception of crowning). I am a basket case from back pain but handled two labors and births without even being tempted to take pain meds. I know everyone is different, but I wouldn't link the back pain to labor.
Library: Cute pic! Love those smiles. Keep trying with the faking it. She'll stay asleep one of these nights.
Indigo: Way to go in the sheets! Inspiring...
Seraf: Every night for a month?! I want a promise like that from DP...maybe for Hanukkah?
Yellow: Love those pics! The one with the cat is especially fabulous.
Partner of 17 yrs to DP, Mommy to 10-yr-old Z , and Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11 .
KSdoula- I don't think you are intruding and thank you for the advice and positive words. I think I can do it, and at least I know I am going to try my best!
Library- I am happy that it is cooling down for you!
Ahope- Normally I wouldn't compare the two but DP wants me to get an epidural because she doesn't want to see me in pain. So when I was telling her how my back pain was bothering me so bad she said "See you can't handle labor". Thats so mean right?! Anyways I'm glad you had a good day with L!
Crystal (24) DP to Christina (27) together since 7/23/08
Baby Cohen was born 7 weeks early on 12/12/11
Crystal, perhaps explain to her how labor works? I have only seen one medicated labor, it may have been a bad one because that poor girl was certainly not pain free. They said, "Oh, it's not pain, it's just pressure" but I know I've told a dentist before that enough pressure sure hurts!
Labor gives you breaks. I have done everything between contractions - sleep, crack jokes, chat with the neighbors, put my son to sleep, barbecue, babysit and politely decline telemarketers. My contractions always started as cramps and each one wasn't so bad. The first time around I just wanted people to be quiet. The second time I actually complained, "I can't take 6 more hours of this!" but I was holding my sweet baby about half an hour later. If it helps, remember that you don't have to get through them all, just this one.
I can understand not wanting to see your partner in pain. I would probably be much quicker to suggest pain relief to Sara than think to take it myself.
AmandaHope, deep insight? Me? The sleep depravation has got to you more than I thought! Put a stamp on L's head and send her to me. The kids and I will take her camping with us. We'll keep her relatively clean, dry and upright and send her back once you've gotten some sleep. You're cool with tattoos, right?
Sorry, I think the appropriate response is thank you.
Exciting about the new stroller. I think the old prams are cool (they have a suspension and the baby can face mom, great features) but could never fit one in my car. I also think the 1940s Taylor Tot strollers are awesome looking for bigger babies. http://www.harpgallery.com/showroom/item10880.html
I think Hanukkah was the gift giving occasion last time. We got sick, one then the other and so it took til valentines day to finish the month. There were a couple of books about sex every day for a year not too long ago. They did it for different reasons, and I didn't read the books. Lol, just articles about them.
Starling, I have a bunny on my lap right now. Are you still using the ergo? Does it accommodate the belly?
Isa, I think you can sleep on your back for a while longer if you're enjoying it. I figure any baby smaller than a fig won't cut off your blood supply too much.
It's thundering here and I have been up since 3:30 when O had a bad dream, woke up A with his calling to me about it. She needed a drink and the WC. By the time everything got settled down and I was ready to drift off the baby decided to start bouncing on the bed. I gave up around 5:30 and now wish I had a treadle sewing machine so I could sew quietly and not risk waking the kids again.
I have a rant, by golly. I know I'm enormous, but when will people quit treating me like an invalid?!? The grass needed cut. My mom actually said she didn't think I should mow the yard because I'm pregnant! I reminded her that she probably mowed the yard when se was pregnant and she laughed and said it's not the same. I said, "since I'm the only one in the house who can even start the machine, I will do it." (not entirely true, I taught Sara my trick) I got out there and couldn't start it! After several failed attempts I was about to hang my head in shame when I thought to check the fuel. Out of gas. Started right up. I got
Halfway through when the mower mysteriously died, not to be revived.
It makes me crazy when people tell me not to do things (hmm, originally autocorrected to thugs, probably good advice but not the point I was going for). I have been getting a lot more of that at work. I was told not to lift a 12 pound box the other day. And everyone is trying to keep me from rolling and transferring (with a lift, I'm not totally insane) lately and I feel like a 2 year old having to constantly say, "I can do it! All by myself!"
I hope you all have a lovely holiday weekend.
I'm going to be a day shy of 39 weeks on Halloween this year and I am not sure what I will be wearing. As hot as I am lately I joked about wearing a few fig leaves and going as Eve. We have a costume party tomorrow night and the kids are going as a skeleton and Hermione. Ari suggested O cut off his hair so she could make herself a wig. I think I'm going to be a ballerina. I need a tutu!
Good morning~ Wish it was Friday, but it's a-coming soon! Alice had another good morning, staying asleep even after I got out of bed. In fact, she slept almost another hour and woke up in a smiley mood, which was LOVELY!! Apparently she had a great day yesterday, napping appropriately and thus being happy while she was awake. Maybe maybe maybe it's getting a bit better.
AHOPE~ Don't give up! And eff all those haters who are labelling your kid. Tyrant? For real? I'd have had something to say to that person. Reminds me of one of the mean nurses when Alice was born who told me 'Your baby cries too much! She cries more than any baby I've seen.' I was too shell-shocked at the time to speak up, but now I'd let her have it. I do know the apprehensive feeling of being the person in the store whose baby's crying, but people should keep those sorts of remarks to themselves. Grrrr!!! I'm glad you made your stroller buying outing though, and yes it does feel like triumph! Alice and I took the bike frame to the paint shop all by ourselves and it was pretty satisfying. The old dude who ran the paint shop was telling Alice how pretty her red hair was and she burped a huge burp right in his face. Cracked me up. Sister spirit to you xoxoxoxoxo
SERAF~ I don't think you're fragile, but I can certainly see everyone worrying about you and your lawn mowing ways. Do take care. As for Halloween, DP's excited to have a baby to take trick or treating since she's a Brit and she says she's never really gone out and about before like that (it's a less-popular holiday in the UK, astoundingly, since I know the Brits love fancy dress!). We're having a family costume; Alice is going to be Red Riding Hood, DP the sexy-butch Woodswoman and I'm going to be the wolf disguised as Granny. I'll post pix for sure. That we want to see the biggo preggo ballerina goes without saying!!!
CRYSTAL~ I'm glad your partner cares about you, but don't let her dissuade you from having the birth you want. It will be hard for her to see you in pain (my DP said it was hard for her) but it's more than just 'pain', it's a whole system of actions and experiences with rewards and consequences. If you want an epidural, that's good and your choice, but if you don't want one and all that comes with it, don't let her push you into having it just for her comfort levels. Maybe it's wrong to say, but I think that when it comes to giving birth then what the birthing woman wants supersedes everyone else's wishes. Just my two cents!
5G~ Thanks for the clarification and the encouragement!!
ISA~ Dandy is not offended, and he is pretty big and can be scary if he needs to (like when strangers walk by the yard, thank you!) but for all his super tuffness, Harley the cat bullies him mercilessly, which is kinda funny. Long hair doxies sound adorable!!!!
AFM~ Like I said, just a Thursday that needs to be a Friday. And about 20 degrees cooler. And with free ice cream (as long as I'm wishing...)
Seraf—just thinking about a whole month makes me feel tired and headachey. I don’t know if DP would actually be excited about it or not—she’d say she was, but about a week and a half into it I bet she’d be like, ‘can’t I just go to sleep already?’ Sorry they’re stopping you from lifting things—to be honest, that’s the part I’m most looking forward to! But then I’m lazy…
Library—they are kind of like teddy bears that move. And bark. And pee on things. But cuddly, loving teddy bears, nonetheless! Look! I even have a picture! Barron was the Red Baron, and Peanut was not at all amused to be Mr. Peanut. She managed to lose three out of four spats and completely destroy her shell by the end of the walk.
QOTD—this has been bothering me for the past two weeks. What to be, what to be? I have costumes for the dogs picked out (the bigger hound will be a school bus, the smaller one will be a boxy, 80’s style limo). But that leaves me with no ideas for myself, and there’s a big meeting at work that I foolishly offered to do a costume contest for on Halloween, so I need to bring it. Any ideas? I’ll have just come out as preggo, but I don’t know if I’ll be showing much, so some of the funny ones (like being a clairvoyant and using my belly as a crystal ball) won’t work.
AFM—just have to get through today, and then DP and I are hopping on the sleeper train to New Orleans! We didn’t know it was Southern Decadence, but if NOLA wants to throw a big gay mardi gras while we are in town, who am I to complain? Neither of us has been before, so we’re really looking forward to finally seeing what the city is all about!
And so are the boys!
Ahope- I would take pride in peoples "little tyrant' comment. It is much better than "little wilting flower" Just think of how assertive she is going to be as an adult! But I am so sorry her fussiness hasn't begun to calm down some. I know i might get murdered for saying this but have you considered attempting a paci? I am not a paci person and I never thought I would try one but I have one in the car for baby H because he literally screams from the moment we put him in the seat until we take him out. I try to put it in his mouth and sometimes he takes it and the ride is magically quiet. Sometimes he refuses and I don't push it. Just listen to his screams with the music turned up loudly. Poor lennon's ears. Maybe she needs to suck but doesnt want milk, might be worth a shot.
Library- What an awesome picture, she is adorable. I cant wait to see the pics of your fam on your tandem. How is pumping going? I wish I lived close, I have so much extra milk already in my freezer that I could toss your way. I will never be able to use it all. Breastmilk ice cream?
Seraf- Dude, let somebody mow! I try to avoid all physical labor during pregnancy......ok all the time. I love a good excuse to get out of doing something hard. Wimpy? Yes. You are a warrior in my book. Can't believe you are getting so close, can't wait to meet little Ri!
Crap I didn't realize the time. Ugh I am so time crunched all the time right now. Will get to rest of personals later.
Qucik update. Chels's mom passed away on Monday. This week has been rough. Chels's fam handles things by drinking so I have been surrounded by a bunch of drunk people (including my partner) for the last few days. I have been trying to be patientand kind but my patience is wearing thin. We agreed that such activities are over and that she still has a family to be with. We will see if it stick.s I coldn't imagine having lost every single family member (immediate) that I have so I am trying to be supportive and understanding but quite frankly I am over the whole thing. I am doing everything on my own, working, taking care of 2 kids, running to funeral homes, consoling a sobbing partner, cleaning, cooking, nursing, and I am so exhausted and depressed right now. I need some help and i am so not getting it. When is it ok to start laying down the law? At what point do I insist she step it up? Sometimes (major rant here) it feels like I am the only parent. She checks out when she is tired, or depressed and I just don't feel that is an excuse. Am I being too harsh?
The viewings are today from 2-4 and 6-8 and I am bringing baby H because I can't leave him at home anymore. (I have had to leave him everyday for the last week). I don't want anyone to touch him and kind of want to sit in my car pretending to nurse until it is all over. You truly can't pick the family of the person you fall in love with and let me tell you what I got screwed. Half the people at this viewing will be messed up on some type of drug and if they get near my baby I will cause a scene.
I gotta go, thanks for reading my rant
ISA~ Those are the proshest pups I've ever seen. And I kinda love the fact that Peanut hated her Mr. Peanut outfit, she does look disgruntled. HA! Have amazing fun in New Orleans!! Eat at Remoulade on Bourbon St. and you will not be sorry! I also recommend a breakfast place called The Ruby Slipper on Magazine. SO YUM!!
Yellow ... I'm sending you all the spare dysfunctional family strength that I can muster up! Got Rescue Remedy handy? I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this, especially when the baby is so new. I hope that Chels has some tools in place, or is willing to acquire some, to help her get through the loss of her mom.
Seraf ... I'm not using the ergo right now, because my woven wrap is so much better with the big belly in the way. I do a rucksack carry with dd and have the knot up over my belly. I love my ergo though. It looks like crap after constant daily use for the better part of 2+ years, but still does the trick! I pulled out my ring sling the other day, when I was sorting out the newborn dipes. Can't wait! I loved the ring sling when dd was small, but it started to really bother my sciatica on whatever side I was wearing when she was about seven months old ... and she was tiny then, maybe ten pounds? I like the ring sling for the new babes though.
QOTD: Halloween is not a big deal at our house. DD says she'd like to be a ghost, which is easy peasy. We do a trade for candy, so I'll have to think of something to trade for it. Might just take her to the toy store the next day. I have a friend who was Juno (pregnant teen from the movie) when she was biggly pregnant.
Isa! That sounds like so much fun! Have a blast! And I'm still sleeping on my back, with the help of a little foam wedge tucked under my right hip, just to keep my vena cava happy. Works like a charm!
AmandaH ... Good grief, people should become automatically mute around new parents. I think a Shield of Silence would be appropriate while we figure out our new family configuration and get to know the baby. Your mama-bear-ness will kick in now, if it hasn't already, and you can tell people to shove it, either kindly or not. Kindly, they'll be very thoughtful about what you've said. Not kindly, and they'll excuse you due to post-pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep. That's how I got away with telling one of my midwives to eff off, and calling her a b*tch when she accused me of starving my baby is a most undelicate way. Not saying that it's the right thing to do ... just saying, in general.
More later ... Off to go to the market to feed the birds and drink some fancy decaffeinated concoction while dd hangs back and observes all the children in the water park while I worry about her reticence and reluctance to join in. I'm telling you, I am soaking up these last few weeks of time to be with just my toddler! I love hanging out with her, and it'll be an adjustment to have a wee one along with us all the time. Midwife appointment later today. We'll see how the pee sticks go! I saw my blood panel, which I think looks fine, but we'll see what the midwife has to say.
MizYellow~ We must have crossposted. I'm sending you the biggest hugs possible and I don't think you're being unreasonable in any of your desires or demands. I can't imagine what a nightmare it must be for you right now. Strength! (And thanks for the wishful offer of milk, I'd totally take you up on it!)
Isa: I just realized you weren't on the pregnant list. I added you under April, but I don't know your specific due date. Sorry I hadn't added you sooner! I hope you have a great New Orleans trip! By the way, my midwives believe that it is safe to sleep on your back until at least the end of the second trimester, and even then they just recommend that you use pillows to prop yourself up a bit so you're not flat on your back.
Starling: I hope that your midwife appointment goes well, and that the pee sticks cooperate! It's amazing that you have just a few more weeks until your babe arrives.
Mizyellow: What a challenging situation. It sounds like you have way too much on your plate. I'm sorry. I hope that things get easier soon! p.s. My wife and I are both madly in love with the picture of Harrison and the cat. What a good kitty.
Library: I'm so glad that Alice is maybe starting to be able to stay asleep when you get out of bed in the morning. I love the picture of Alice and your DP! I hope that Friday comes quickly for you.
QOTD: I'm either going to be several days overdue or I'm going to have a brand new baby at Halloween, so I don't think I'm going to plan to do anything this year. Although if I am still pregnant then I could be a great something round.
Saref: I agree that it is funny what restrictions people want to put on pregnant people. I still feel pretty good, so I can easily walk a few miles or stand for a while or whatever, but it definitely upsets other people if I'm not sitting down pretty much all of the time. It's silly.
Crystal: I'm sorry that your DP isn't being supportive of natural birth. Has she seen The Business of Being Born? I think a Bradley class could be great for you two, since it would give her a better sense of what a natural birth is like (i.e. that the contractions are not constant) and would give her tools to support you.
AmandaHope: I'm so sorry that things have been so challenging lately. I'm glad that there are so many experienced and wise parents on here who can give you advice and support. It's neat that you were able to get a Quinny Buzz!
So considering that we don't really want people to leave this thread once they have their babies, should we change the name? Should it be Queer & Pregnant or Parenting or something like that?
AFM: 32 weeks today. I'm getting used to the lack of sleep and it isn't bothering me as much anymore, so that's pleasant. Admittedly my short-term memory seems to be in bad shape and I cry easily, but at least I don't notice feeling tired so much. My midwife appointment yesterday went well. The baby is still head down (hooray!), with his back on my left side and his pokey little feet on my right side. She (the baby, I'm switching pronouns) has a favorite spot on my right side that she likes to kick and poke repeatedly. I wonder if that will be his favorite spot for the rest of pregnancy. I still feel dramatically unready to meet this baby (i.e. I have no diapers), but I am starting to realize that I really don't have all that long anymore. I guess I need to really start doing all the things I've been putting off. I am still sort of in denial about how much my life is going to change in about two months. My wife feels completely ready to meet the kid, so at least one of us is emotionally prepared!
Escher ... I can't believe that you're already 32 weeks! Where the heck did the time go, woman? I hear you about folks assuming that pregnant woman are invalids. I was climbing the rope structure at the playground the other day and was about fifteen feet up when a dad of another kid hollered up, "You okay? Need a hand down?" I told him no, thanks, and then I got to the ground, he said, "My wife wanted me to make sure that you were okay up there because she said no woman that pregnant should be that high off the ground in flip flops." I said, thank for the concern, and promptly doubled dd down the really big steep slide. Got the hairy eyeball from the 'concerned citizens' for that too. Good times.
AFM: Just got back from the midwife. My bp was way up (for me) at 120/85. Last time it was 95/60. And I'm measuring 38 weeks, and not 34, and baby's head is nearly engaged. So the midwife is ordering another blood panel and requesting an ultrasound. Meh. We'll see what happens. Five more poinst up on the diastolic and they'd be calling it pre-e for sure, depending on what the blood panel says. I've seen floaters a couple of times since my last mw appointment too. Crap. Fingers crossed!
Library—I will certainly try my best to put those suggestions to the test! Since it’s going to be raining and I can’t drink, eating will have to be my fun thing for this trip (oh, who am I kidding? It’s my fun thing for every trip!)
Starling—I hope your midwife agrees with your assessment and you can get back to playing toddler games! Just don’t forget that you’ll be able to hang out with her alone sometimes even after the new baby comes—not as often, but still sometimes!
Escher—BE PLUTO! Also, I’m glad he is headed in the right direction—hopefully you don’t get too sore in her favorite kickin’ spot! I think changing the name might be good—I certainly don’t want you all to leave now that I’ve finally gotten here! And thanks for adding me—I hadn’t even noticed. My due date is April 15th, so I’m expecting another Alice (or at least hopefully someone equally charming)!
AFM—hoping the tropical storm decides to miraculously dissipate in the next 24 hours…A girl can dream, right?
And so are the boys!
Yellow: First, I am so very sorry for your DP. What a terrible loss. Second, regarding you, holy CRAP, that is way too much for one person to handle. My heart started racing just reading your post. Any chance your DP can find meaning and emotional sustenance by investing in her own family relationships right now? And YES to counseling--only makes sense, given all that she is going through. But it isn't fair to you (or the boys) for her just to check out. Big hugs to you during what sounds like an exceptionally hard time.
Starling: Best wishes for a boring m/w appt tomorrow. And I'm glad you're getting such joy out of your time with your daughter right now. This is a special time for the two of you. UPDATE: Oops, sorry to hear about the higher bp. Crap. But in a way, it is good if the baby is measuring big and showing signs of readiness, right? Just in case? Hope the u/s is reassuring--when will it be?
Isa: Is that storm headed this way? Ugh.
Library: Yay for peaceful mornings!
Escher: Glad you are feeling so good and that your little one is head down. Nice job, little bean! I really think that the stuff I did to help with fetal positioning (from spinningbabies.com--mostly open knees to chest, hands and knees rocking, and some inversions) helped to get L in the best position for birth, and she flew right out of there. The position that you are describing (LOA) is the optimal position. If you are still preggo at Halloween, you should totally be a globe or something ;-). Or a disco ball? A planet? So many possibilities...
Crystal: I agree with the others. A Bradley class is a great idea, as is viewing some quality birth videos, like Business of Being Born. Your DP needs to educate herself about birth in order to be a able to support you. And ultimately, it is your body, and she needs to be able to respect your feelings and preferences.
So I was back at the pediatrician's office today because Lilah has what appears to be a horrendous rash all over her face, ears, and scalp. It really looks terrible. I'm probably the only person who still thinks she looks cute right now ;-). Turns out it is infant acne, and the doc promises that it will go away by 2 months. He says just not to take any pics until then. Lilah's formal baby naming (not the casual one in the park from last week, which she screamed through, by the way) is next Friday. My parents and grandmother are coming into town. Sigh. The doc agreed that the reflux meds aren't working but that it sounds like she does have reflux, so we're now trying Reglan, a stronger medicine. Please, please let this help. Fingers crossed. Oh--and Z has strep. So I've been alone with one kid with strep and a fussy baby who can't stay asleep all day. I just decided this morning that the day was going to suck, and that helped. It hasn't even been as bad as I'd feared, and DP will be home in an hour.
Partner of 17 yrs to DP, Mommy to 10-yr-old Z , and Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11 .
mizyellow i am so, so sorry for you and chels loss. big hugs to you especially given your stressed out situation right now. dp also has a dysfunctional family so trust me i feel your pain. when her mom passed away unexpectedly 6 years ago dp had to be the strong, sane, sober one while the rest of her family just fell apart (and yes, there were drugs and drinking involved, plus a fight on the night of the wake). we did not have any children back then though. please try and have a quiet sit down talk with chels and explain calmly that she needs to remember that she has a family of her own who need and love her. that might be hard to do until after the funeral though. :(
We finally found our camera cord ! We will definitely be back for more personals soon as we are experiencing lots of drama.
Mizyellow- We are so sorry to hear about Chels mom . From the sounds of it you have done your part in providing support and would not be wrong by asking for a little help with the boys. Chels is experiencing a great loss but maybe if she tries she can find solace and peace in you and the boys. Hang in there! We are thinking of you all
Here are a few belly shots (26 weeks and 1 day):
Me (29) in with DW (40)
DD (12) and DS our special needs baby (4) placed 03-01-10
Our furbaby Bella (Yorkie)
Layla Janae 11/22/11
Mizyellow--I am terribly sorry to hear about Chels mom. And the drama that you've been through today. Whoa--way too much for you, mama. I hope that things went more smoothly than it sounded like they were going to go. Now that the funeral is over, if the less-than adequate coping skills seem to bleed over into tomorrow, then by all means, say something. You've got too much on your plate and it's no wonder you're depressed and overwhelmed. Sending good thoughts your way...
Isa--Hi, I've been thinking of you! Yay for 8 weeks! Have a great time in NOLA and wow, what bravery to start grad school!
Mami--Great belly shots!
Starling--My fingers are crossed for you. Wishing you a very healthy pregnancy and that this whole pre-e thing resolves itself quickly.
To everyone else, I'm so woefully behind on personals and I hope I can get to all of you this weekend!
Mama (37) to a sweet 4-year-old daughter, a baby girl born 1/18/12 and wife to a fantastic woman.
Good Friday Morning!!! SO happy to have the three day weekend ahead of us and GUESS WHAT!?!? The weather is supposed to break this weekend and it might even be in the 80s!! During the day!!! It's only been in the 80s in the middle of the night for the LAST THREE MONTHS. I don't even care that tomorrow's the first college football game and the town will be full of drunken Sooner fools! Very glad!! Now I just have to get through this day, which started off with Mean Girl Meanness, so I've been having donuts to console myself.
ISA~ I'm sorry about the tropical storm headed toward your vacation :( But I'll bet you have fun anyway!! I forgot to include on the yummy list a place called Green Goddess in the Quarter (and yes, it's named after the salad dressing!) It's really great, and if you've ever read any books by Poppy Z Brite, the restaurant is owned by her and her hubby's the chef, so that's cool too. I've heard tales of Southern Decadence. Get ready to see lots of gay boy ass.
Escher~ I also can't believe you're 32 weeks. WOW!! Are you next up to bat? You and Starling must be pretty close together, too. I'm glad kiddo's cooperating, and yes yes it's so fun to feel them settling down in there, poking you with feet or sticking their butts out (like Alice did). My costume suggestion is that you paint your belly like a fishing bobber and be a fisherman.
Starling~ I'm so sorry you're still having problems. It's just been one thing after another with this kiddo, eh? I'm glad you're in good hands and am going to cross everything in hopes that it all stays settled enough for you to get through and get the little man out without more ignunce.
Crystal~ I'm going to second everyone's suggestion about a Bradley class or at the very least watching the recommended documentary. It is your body and you should have your choice, and these resources would be very helpful. The Bradley one (despite all the language about husbands) is really empowering for partners. My DP said it really helped her feel like she was a part of the process and had concrete things she could do during the birth to help me as much as possible.
AHope~ More hugs for you. Sorry about the baby acne, but even sorrier about the strep and other crap and your bad day. Maybe deciding it'll suck will take the onus off for now? Thinking of you always xo
Indigo~ How are things going in your neck of the woods? Nice to hear from you!
Mami~ GREAT BUMP!!!! Show it off more often!!
AFM~ I'm just concentrating on the donuts and trying to keep my head down today. Alice did another good job of staying asleep even when I got out of bed, at least for a little while. She nurses on demand at night, and then every morning when I pick her up she burps and farts the loudest, longest cacaphony you've ever heard. Hilarious.
Just had to say, Seraf, that this is so true! "Adding a newborn to your family is kind of like marrying someone the first day you meet them. It takes a while to get to know each other."
Qmama: good to hear from you. How are you doing?
Library: I know what you mean about the morning cacaphony. Even though I have to burp Lilah during and after every feeding, she still wakes up FULL of air and gas. In fact, that's why she woke up early (7am--I know, not really early...but she didn't get down until 11:30pm) this morning, and her gas so alarmed her that I had to walk her in the Moby to calm her down and get her back to sleep. Her burps are SO loud, though; Z can hear them from down the hall in her room. L actually startles herself with them sometimes, which is both hilarious and kind of sad. I hope you enjoy that chilly weather in the 80s this weekend. I can't believe the heat you've had this summer. We're back up to 94 today, but Monday's high is supposed to be 71! Crazy climate change...
Mami: Looking great! How is your family? I look forward to the update.
Isa: Ok, I feel dumb. Right--the storm is headed for New Orleans, not Chicago. At any rate, I hope it passes you by and that you have a super trip. Can't wait to hear about it.
Yellow: How did the funeral go? Thinking about you and your family today--wishing there was something I could do (like share some of the oodles of frozen lasagna I have in the freezer, or grab a double stroller and push our two little ones around the neighborhood while you sleep).
AFM: Quick update with no complaining! L slept well last night swaddled in a hand-me-down carseat in the co-sleeper. Thanks, Megin, for the idea, which our doctor fully endorsed. I just can't believe the slept that way for a 4.5 hour stretch! And she also took her first bottle from DP, so I can go to my pp apt at the midwife today on my own! With a stop at Whole Foods! Ah, the excitement and the luxuries of life with a nursing little one. Anyway, I'm also blissed out right now because L is sleeping against my chest in the Moby. SO NICE.
Partner of 17 yrs to DP, Mommy to 10-yr-old Z , and Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11 .
AHope~ :doing a happy dance for you: That sounds like a good night/morning. And hopefully the techniques will continue to prove themselves. Have fun at Whole Foods. I love their yogurt and cheese selection, but I am a dairy queen.
AmandaHope: Hooray for a 4.5 hour sleep stretch! That sounds lovely. I hope your midwife appointment and whole foods trip went well! I'm doing this inversion on my couch--is that the one you did too? Is the hands and knees rocking the same as the Bradley pelvic tilting? And what open knees to chest position were you doing? Thanks for sharing what worked for you!
Library: Hooray for a weekend and good weather! I'm sorry that the mean girl was giving you trouble. No fair. There are still a few people who are due before me--Starling is almost three weeks ahead of me and Julietea is due two weeks before me. I think the big question will be if Seraf or I go first--she is due 12 days after me, but it is her third baby....
Mami: Great pictures! How are you feeling these days?
Starling: I'm sorry that your bp was up. Poop. I hope that your bloodwork and ultrasound are fabulously ok.
QOTD: How long before your due date (if at all) did you plan or are you planning to stop working?
AFM: The baby seems to get really excited when I eat. I can't imagine she is getting any nourishment that quickly, so I'm guessing that she just likes the sound of it? Or maybe he likes that I'm sitting still for a few minutes? Anyway, I think it is kind of funny.
I went out of town for 3 days and y'all wrote a couple of pages. Let's see what I can remember for personals.
Yellow, I'm so sorry for you both. I would check out, too, if I lost my mom. Being the nursing mom, I wouldn't have the same ability to totally check out. I also come from a family who takes substances farther than I would like to see. Or my kids to see. Alcohol as a coping mechanism doesn't get one very far so I would certainly discourage drinking to excess and encourage more positive skills. I hope your conversations have gone well, its hard to address something like that and not have them think you're nagging them, which just makes them draw away farther. I'm sorry you're in such a hard situation. Both of you. I hope you can find your way through together in a way that makes your family feel stronger.
Library, that heat is just too much! I ram into a new mom on my trip and asked her about pumping. She said she was taking 2 fenugreek daily with a bowl of oatmeal. Don't know if you've already tried fenugreek but he swore by it.
Amanda, mastitis is awful. I always had great success with grape seed extract capsules( I had mastitis 12 times over the 5 1/2 years I nursed. I blame an old nipple piercing for narrowing an important duct).
Starling, I know it means nothing, but I see floaters frequently. Perhaps it isn't an ominous thing for you, either.
Julie, is your family and house coming along nicely now? I sure hope so.
Escher, my baby is in the same position most of the time. She rolls around in there quite a bit, still but usually she is right there. She also goes nuts when I eat. Like first bite. And yeah, no way she is getting the sugar that fast. I think I need a shirt with writing on the belly that says, "Will kick or chocolate."
Mami, nice belly! I can't believe how right behind me you are. I always think of you as being less far along, but you're really trucking along!
Indigo, how is life over there?
Qmama, are you feeling less nauseous now?
Crystal, I took a pic of my belly all lopsided, but I can't get it to attach from the phone. I will post in a few days when I can.
Isa, enjoy the food! Ben-yays. I can't spell in French, and I'm feeling too lazy to google the spelling, but eat one for me, please!
Ad astra, I heard you got a BFP, I hope your numbers are reassuring and life is good in your neck of the woods.
AOTD: I just had this discussion at work. They have hired a nurse to replace me already. She is trained and ready to go. I had originally told them I would work through October, but upon closer inspection of a calendar, if I take Halloween off, I will get an extra week without affecting income too much. I work an hour from home and I worry that if I go into labor there, I will have to wait for someone to pick me up and I will have the baby at work or in the car. Neither of which sound attractive to me. So, my last day of work is October 25. Or whatever the Tuesday is that week. I also told them I could work every other Saturday until then because I would like some overtime. An extra 16 hours of OT every other week would be lovely and really contribute to my savings account.
AFM: our trip was wonderful except today. I think I got food poisoning and felt like a darn mortal. I was moving so slow. It took me over an hour to pack the car. I heard rumor that yesterday was the hottest day in the state for the year, so we spent a lot of time swimming.
Sara was in NY and we missed her greatly. She feels queasy and couldn't be happier. Thursday will be testing day, but because that's 14 dpo and she has a 12 day LP we will have a pretty strong feeling.
Just waking up from a lovely afternoon nap and thought I'd say hello to everyone...it has been a nice relaxing weekend around here. We took dd to the park yesterday afternoon so she could play in the water feature and it was simply magical. We're having a bit of a warm spell in the NW and it was the perfect remedy. Even though the park is 5 blocks away, I made dp drive us. I simply couldn't fathom a walk in the heat and biking was out of the question. The nausea is officially gone, by the way! I have been off Zofran for a few weeks now. It feels so good to not be dependent on it anymore. Of course, I'm still trying to reach that feeling of 'normal.' I miss it sooo much. Mornings are the best for me, and in the afternoons I generally just don't feel well. I am desperately waiting for the second trimester bliss to kick in, but what I've got now sure beats the hell out of gagging, having my mouth uncontrollably fill with saliva and feeling pukey.
I went out this morning and did my first outing for maternity clothes. Two weeks ago, I brought up my bin of clothes from preg #1 from the basement and immediately burst into tears. My maternity clothes were just so ugly and huge. It was the most ridiculous, vain and silly spectacle ever. I simply couldn't believe I was even acting that way. Probably just hormones. It was this weird reminder of how much longer I was going to be pregnant and for some reason I totally came undone. DP and DD were looking at me like I had lost my mind and then I suddenly perked up and laughed my way out of it. Weird.
seraf--Food poisoning...yikes. I hope you can shake this quickly. Glad your trip was good, I know Sara missed you all!
Isa--Laissez les bon temps roulez! I hope they are at least...I did see some pretty frightening flood pictures from around Lake Ponchartrain and am hoping you are safe and able to enjoy some delicious food and good times down there.
Escher--Don't you love that connectedness when the baby responds to your activity? DD always loved it when I ate too! I simply cannot believe you are 32 weeks already; just a month from full term! I hope you are enjoying this time.
Ahope--Ouch, indeed! Sending healing boob thoughts to you. Isn't it frustrating when the only thing that can nourish your baby causes you incredible and excruciating pain. I certainly hope this resolves quickly.
ad astra--If you're reading this, a hearty congrats to you and I am sending you good thoughts for a healthy growing bean.
Hoping those with new babes are getting good sleep and that the babies are getting better settled outside of the womb. Hello to anyone else I've missed!
Mama (37) to a sweet 4-year-old daughter, a baby girl born 1/18/12 and wife to a fantastic woman.