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Old 12-09-2011, 01:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone!

I have just joined this community, great to see so many open minded folks here!

My partner and I were just married a few weeks ago, after being together for nearly 3 years now, and having been friends for the majority of our lives without ever realizing we were lesbian. It was both reassuring and terrifying at the same time to realize that there was a reason our friendship had always been so close and, at times, very intense. It was nice to have answers for those intense, awkward moments in the years before our realization. Terrifying as we both came to terms about our own orientation after simultaneously realizing/awareness of everything... it was confusing and, at the same time, a relief. I can't really find another way to explain.

Relief was short lived, as we were immediately in a whirlwind of a rollercoaster ride if coming out to friends, family, etc - my partner was previously married, and had just decided on a divorce. I had just broken an engagement to a guy - it was very difficult. At first, I had moved halfway across the country to be supportive and help out with the aftermath of divorce, moving out, etc. Suddenly, we were together, and as much as everything finally made sense, now there were so many accusations and rumors and drama - so draining. Despite not being involved prior to the divorce, it was very difficult to hear the accusations from family members who should have been supportive, not trying to seek blame and scapegoating.

Add to the mix a little 4 year old, it was not easy.

Regardless, here we are, 3 years later, and we are still here. Just married, and so happy for the first time. The 4 year old is now 7, almost 8, and is the biggest source of joy I have ever known. Still have custody problems, still trying to sort it out, nearly 3 years later. Hopefully, everything will work out in the munchkin's best interest. B has had a rough road. Between not being supported at dads, to not being allowed to refer to me as a "mom" to dad's refusal to leave the kiddo out of things (sending messages,grilling and asking questions about what we are "doing" at home, etc) along with constantly being grilled about "gender appropriate roles" (girls wear dresses and play with dolls, and have long hair, boys have short hair, play with army men and sports, nerf guns etc) and not being allowed to just play and be a kid and enjoy whatever activities are of interest... it is just so tough on B. I have to be careful of what I type as things are just really that "bad" in court, and I have to be protective of information.

All in all, we are struggling to just stay together and exist together... it is so upsetting to see the impact on the little one when it is the fault of ignorant adults - not a child...

ANY suggestions, etc would be so greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

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