Queer Conceptions January 2012 - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 325 Old 12-31-2011, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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WELCOME TO January! It's a new year! Good luck to everyone! thumb.gif

Waiting to O whistling.gif
 

* Hopeful22 chartnew.gif

 

* lisedea BFPChart2.gif

 

* TineyDreams

 

*Allison Graham

 

*Nosreves

 

* outdoorsy

 

Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW fingersx.gif
 

* esenbee2

 

* AnnaNotherThing

 

*invitnconceptn

 

* Cananny

 

*MrsandMrs

 

*RS11

 

*CarpenterAnt

 


Working on IVF ecbaby.gif

* Alphahen & DP

* FiveGrandBaby


Waiting for AF af.gif



MIA/Taking a Break/Figuring Things Out/Waiting to be Ready wool.gif
* NAMW
* RainbowValleyMama
* MaxK
* Happycalm
* IrishBabies
* AmandaMom
* Glados
* Serepartera (February 2011)
* Miss Scarlett
* Milletpuff
* Chiquitayy
* Lyndzies
* MidwifeStephPDX
* Gellybeangrl BFPChart2.gif
* Want2bePapa
* MeghanC
* Rs11
* Yeledov
* Handerson
* BunnyLullabye
* cnmk14
* Maybeababy
* 2moms3kids
* Southern Fried Karma BFPChart2.gif
* OwlandTurtle
* jennytuck
* JennP85
* Habitat
* EmandJoHeil
* MrsPP BFPChart2.gif

* SkyandTru

* Hoping2bemoms

*Amt1015

2012 Graduates! babyf.gif

 

January * Carmen BFPChart2.gif jammin.gif * Planet jammin.gif *Dandylez jammin.gif
 

 

2011 Graduates! bellycast.gif

 

December * DesertSunsets carrot.gif
November * Aljm41910 broc1.gif
October * Vienna79 joy.gif * KSDoulaMama joy.gif *Pleasantlyfurious joy.gif *SwtRainbowBrite joy.gif * Go_Vegan joy.gif
September * Smilingsara carrot.gif * Ad Astra carrot.gif * Mumquest carrot.gif
August *Prettyisa broc1.gif
July * Onemommyonemama joy.gif
June * CrystalPerez broc1.gif* Qmama42 broc1.gif
May * KellySF carrot.gif
April * want2bmumx2 joy.gif * Indigoscot & DP joy.gif
March * Graceie broc1.gif * Seraf broc1.gif* 2ezforyou broc1.gif *Mommy55 broc1.gif
February * Escher 10/24/11 *SharriKitColorado* DAWNMP1
January * Starling&diesel 10/2/11

2010 Graduates!

November * Mizyellow 7/25/11 * AmyPDX 7/30/11 * AmandaHope 8/3/11 * Cejae 7/4/11
September * Solejean 5/19/11 * Painefaria 6/5/11
August * Bttrflygypsy 4/10/11 * 2happymamas 4/15/11 * LibraryLady 4/15/11
July * Beastie 3/21/11 * Gumshoegirl007 4/2/11 * Wehrli 4/1/11
June * Coco & DP 2/14/11
May * Burg 2/4/11 * Korey 2/1/11
April * Calimeow * Mtnlisa * Kimlyn32
February * Mistral * Quasar & smartycat * Monarchgrrl * Erthe_mama & DP
January * Lyndzies * FtMpapa

2009 Graduates!

December* Osker * Megan sacha * Mkpgoddess
October * JJNoho * Mommies 2 Be * Megincl & Ktcl
September * Elismum1908 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious
August * Chicagoml * Wishin'&hopin'
July * Hbog
May * Indigoscot's dp
April * Kelmendi * KJM * Whoabethy * Carmen
March * Scalpel * Katwomyn4
February * Deny_zoo29
January * Jodybird511


Me (37) married my lovely DW (33) May 2010 stillheart.gif  ttc #1 since September 2010. 3 years of ttc has been tough. Currently struggling with some ovulatory issues (follies don't grow quickly - trouble releasing) At a cross roads: go strong on meds or begin to turn over babymaking to DW. This is very...
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#2 of 325 Old 12-31-2011, 04:44 PM
 
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Thank you for the shiny new thread .....

Happy new year ....here's hoping that we all have 2012 babes !!!!

Tonight I wrote a letter to the universe ...just a simple one..asking to bring us a baby to love in 2012....it was on.a lightweiggt parchment paper...and I let it go....stood on my brothers back porch and asked the universe ...and let the paper go....dp thought it was silly..but she did it with me ...I figured why not ask for what we want smile.gifsmile.gif

I'm still waiting for AF day 6 of progesterone ..started spotting last night...today nothing...my body is taking.its sweet time for sure ....
We are still in Az....ready to be home, but not ready for the 12 hrs its going to take to get there !
Tonight we are hot tubbing and relaxing...hope to b in bed early so we can get up and start driving around ...5 am smile.gif

Loving life with our triplet boys born Feb 24th 2013 at 34 weeks biggrinbounce.gif

 

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#3 of 325 Old 12-31-2011, 08:09 PM
 
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Thanks for the lovely new thread, invitn.

 

 


Quote:
Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post

Just curious, why are you planning on doing a declaration of parentage? The lawyer we consulted (queer lawyer who specialized in queer family law) said it's really only necessary if you are really worried about your KD trying for custody at the beginning....she also said it can sometimes take so long that your adoption will likely be close to being completed (at 6 months) when you receive it. We decided not to do it. Also, both my DP and I are on DD's birth certificate...it asks the sex of the "other parent" on the application. We are planning on doing a 2nd parent adoption but because we don't feel 'threatened' whatsoever by our donor in terms of custody we were going to wait until we have a 2nd child (hopefully!) and then do it together. I also believe you still have to do the adoption even if you do the declaration of parentage in the beginning.

 


Interesting. 

I will ask these questions of our lawyer!

 

His advice was to do the declaration of parentage as it's quicker than the adoption and means that both our names can be on the birth certificate and on the official register of live births in Victoria from the start.  

With an adoption we can have a second (ammended) birth certificate issued once the adoption goes through.  I asked him about putting both our names on the certificate from the beginning and he said you can't, if the biological father is known to the birth mother.

(I know that's not what you were told, obviously, so I'm going to email him to find out what the rules really are)

 

I think the declaration of parentage is quicker because he does most of the work before the baby is born. He asked that we contact him around month 7 of the pregnancy with the expected date of birth to allow him to get the necessary paperwork together and to schedule a court date a few weeks after the birth.

 

And as I understand it you only have to do one or the other- declaration or adoption. Both make us legal parents and sever the parental rights of the donor.

 

We also don't feel threatened by our KD, but I want to be careful. Seeing his first child might change things for him.

I expect it will change things for all three of us.

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Allison Graham View Post

@Anna: we used barbara findlay (she doesn't use capitals in her name), 


 

I love that barbara findlay doesn't use capitals. ROTFLMAO.gif

I know of her and she is, indeed, badass.

 

She also sounds pretty expensive, though. Eeeep!

 

Thanks for the link to that Whitepaper. 

I'm very suspicious of 'pending' legislation until it actually comes into force.

About 8 years ago we waited and waited for years for a constantly 'imminent' act that was expected to be signed into law 'any day' and would have saved us a lot of money and hassle around immigration issues we had at the time... 

As far as I know those changes are still pending today.

 

So, for now, I'm going to look for other solutions to secure my family, and if the new legislation suddenly becomes law, i will jump for joy and cancel my cheques to Mr Lawyer Man.

 

 

A very Happy New Year to all of you!!  I'm guessing for some it's already 2012, so how'r things looking in the future??!

And as sweet, sweet timing would have it, both I and my lady love can drink champagne tonight!

 

 partytime.gif champagne.gif partytime.gif  champagne.gif partytime.gif champagne.gif partytime.gif

 

Sometimes, NOT being pregnant is pretty fun, too!!

 


found the love of my life 13 years ago, kissy.gif married 5 yrs ago, now TTC #1 stillheart.gif

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#4 of 325 Old 01-01-2012, 04:19 PM
 
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Thanks for the new thread, invitn! May the threadkeeper's luck serve you well ;)

 

Cananny: Sounds like a lovely thing to do :) And yes, I absolutely agree that you should ask for what you want! I hope your drive is going well...

 

Anna: We didn't use barbara findlay but I do know of her...and I did ask her how much it would be for the 2nd parent adoption....she quoted us approximately 1500.00 all fees included. We actually didn't ask anyone about putting both our names on the birth certificate...we just did it and then got DD's certificate in the mail. Maybe it's illegal though...I have no idea! We also didn't get our contract notarized as we were told that they don't stand up in court anyway if it is in the child's best interest (as decided by the courts) for the donor to be involved (not sure about specifics for custody, etc.). The contract shows intent though which apparently does hold a lot of weight. Anyway, I'm sure you are getting sound advice. We were/are just a bit more casual about it so we didn't get into details other than the details of our contract/agreement with our KD. And for the record, after our DD was born our KD actually told me that it was a lot "harder" for him to be at a distance than he thought. He worked through it though and is fine with it :) He is our donor for this go around too! My point is that yes, things can change a lot once a little one is actually here.


 

Afm: It's been a crazy holiday season but lots of fun. DD turned 2 on December 30 so we had a family (just the three of us) celebration on the 30th and then a party at our place yesterday afternoon with toddler mayhem! It was loads of fun :)  4DPO today...nothing exciting to report - too early for any symptoms. I started the progesterone suppositories on 2DPO and I won't be testing any earlier than 14DPO this time. If I'm going to have another chemical pregnancy I don't want to ride the rollercoaster needlessly.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!!


Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#5 of 325 Old 01-01-2012, 06:31 PM
 
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Happy 2012 everybody!  It's been so helpful for me to hear all your stories and learn from you.  Thanks for such a warm welcome to this community!

 

I'm on day 10 of my cycle, waiting for that special time! 

 

I'm curious, for those of you doing IUIs, about the timing that you use in relation to the positive OPK result.  My lovely naturopathic doctor/midwife who's doing our IUIs typically does 24 hours after the OPK.  Because of my other fertility signs (lots of fertile CM, low temp), we decided to do 12 hours after the OPK instead of the standard 24 last month (our first try).  She said my cervix was wonderfully open and that everything looked great, but it didn't work this time. I noticed that my temp had already started to rise a little the day we did the IUI, so I wondered if we had actually done it too late.  This time, we are going to go for two IUIs to maximize our chances!

 

So, I'm curious, for those of you willing to share, how do you figure out your IUI timing? For those of you who have done two IUIs per cycle, I am especially curious about your timing.  Also, how do you decide on timing when your different fertility signs are not all showing up at the same time? 

 

Thank you and wishing you all plenty of sweetness as you ease into the new year!


Queer parent on the adventure of a lifetime raising my sweet little guy, born at home in September 2012, with the love of my life by my side!
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#6 of 325 Old 01-01-2012, 10:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Happy New Year all. Sorry no time for personals. I was just in the middle of the writing a novel of a post and I must of pushed on the wrong button and it all erased. I hate when that happens. I will redo tomorrow bc it's getting late.


Me (37) married my lovely DW (33) May 2010 stillheart.gif  ttc #1 since September 2010. 3 years of ttc has been tough. Currently struggling with some ovulatory issues (follies don't grow quickly - trouble releasing) At a cross roads: go strong on meds or begin to turn over babymaking to DW. This is very...
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#7 of 325 Old 01-02-2012, 09:09 AM
 
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Funny enough, the birth certificate is not actual a legal document, so you can put whatever you want on it.  No one's going to come back and point fingers and say "YOU LIED".  You don't have to claim someone as the biological donor to your child, in fact it's better if you don't, since by adding him in, you're kind of giving him parental "privilege".  My name will be on our baby's birth certificate, not our KD.  I did ask our lawyer, and she said what I'm telling you.  

 

BTW, we were warned repeatedly about doing things that are construed as potentially "parent-like" with our KD, since if your KD decides he wants custody, he can use any time spent with the kids (especially alone), or having a special name, or receiving special privilege in the family as "parent-like", which the courts will look at and may decide that he is obviously already part of the family, and then voila, you lose partial custody.  It's *never* happened in BC, but just so ya'll are aware. We didn't know until after we started this whole process.  :(  

 

And Anna, I totally agree with you about the White Paper and not trusting it until it's passed, but nonetheless it's still exciting!  I've heard that it's moving along nicely in parliament and that it should be passed soon-ish (I heard before the summer!).  I don't know how it applies to babies who are already conceived.  I also have no idea how they designate someone as a "donor"... I think I would still draw up something that said "this person is a donor, and the intended parents are XYZ and ABC".  

 

 


Me (29) and DW (32).  Taking a long break from TTC, back at it sometime in 2015/2016.  2 fur babies cat.gif cat.gif, Mustang and Anastasia.
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#8 of 325 Old 01-02-2012, 09:56 AM
 
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Question....

Has anyone had to use prometrium or proverra to get AF to start? Does it make u a raging hormone? I've been pretty awful this last week..mood swings galore ...it sucks ...wonder if its the meds ?

My mom.bought me a photo frame for Christmas. And its great....but says all my children have paws ...today it made me angry, sad....now my mom.doesn't know about us ttc ....so it wasn't insensitive .....

I've been very even keel and ok with everything...but here we are a yr later, and switched who wad ttc.....but still no baby ...so today I want to be sad about it...tomorrow I will pick my chin up and move forward ......


..

Loving life with our triplet boys born Feb 24th 2013 at 34 weeks biggrinbounce.gif

 

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#9 of 325 Old 01-02-2012, 10:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allison Graham View Post

Funny enough, the birth certificate is not actual a legal document, so you can put whatever you want on it.  No one's going to come back and point fingers and say "YOU LIED".  You don't have to claim someone as the biological donor to your child, in fact it's better if you don't, since by adding him in, you're kind of giving him parental "privilege".  My name will be on our baby's birth certificate, not our KD.  I did ask our lawyer, and she said what I'm telling you.  

 

BTW, we were warned repeatedly about doing things that are construed as potentially "parent-like" with our KD, since if your KD decides he wants custody, he can use any time spent with the kids (especially alone), or having a special name, or receiving special privilege in the family as "parent-like", which the courts will look at and may decide that he is obviously already part of the family, and then voila, you lose partial custody.  It's *never* happened in BC, but just so ya'll are aware. We didn't know until after we started this whole process.  :(  

 

 


Yeah, that's basically what we thought re: the birth certificate :)

 

As I've said before, our KD has no 'relationship' with our DD at all. He has met her several times, mostly since we've been ttc again she is sometimes here when he drops by. At some point though we will tell her that he is her donor if/when she asks and then they can work it out in terms of their relationship. Our experience with our KD (and his fiance) has been amazing and we couldn't ask for a better situation. They will be trying for their own kids after they get married next summer and I'm thrilled for them...they will make amazing parents!

 


Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#10 of 325 Old 01-02-2012, 12:28 PM
 
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Planet - this month will be my first IUI, as we did ICIs at home previously. The midwife said I should be inseminated the same day I get the positive opk, testing only once per day. But that's because she knows our other tries have been later, and she wants to switch it up. At home, we did them at 36 and 48 hours post opk.

 

Cananny - sorry, no experience with the the meds. But I totally get your sadness and how the frame is a big reminder of it, even though your mom didn't mean it that way. We will all pick up our chins tomorrow!

 

Afm - status quo. started opk testing today for what will hopefully be my first cycle at a clinic, having switched from at-home.

 

For the new year I like to get a fresh start on some things. I'm cleaning out closets, giving away some stuff, and *thinking about* cleaning the house! Ha!

Happy New Year, everyone!

champagne.gif


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#11 of 325 Old 01-02-2012, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anna/Carmen/Allison: It sounds like there are a lot of tricky legal issues in Canada with gay parenting as there is anywhere else. In Ohio where I live, there is no second parent adoption for gay parents. Second parent adoption requires the parents to be married and since DW and I cannot legally marry in Ohio then viola...no second parent adoption. It truly sucks. Besides securing a contract with KD, we haven't looked into many other legal ramifications at this point.We should get on the ball. It's great that all of you are well informed and trying to be as proactive as possible to help secure your families.

 

Cananny: The NY eve ritual you did with your DP sounded so beautiful.joy.gif I truly believe too in sitting down and having a heart to heart with the universe every once in a while, just in case it can't hear above the regular mental chatter of every day life. Regarding Prometrium, I have never taken it to get my period started. I have taken it during the tww and let me tell you that my experience was rough at points too: periodic cramps, and bloating, and moodiness. It sucks that our bodies don't cooperate when we want it to: we dread the arrival of AF and it comes and we desire AF arrival's and it stallsbanghead.gif. I'm getting the feeling that AF is like an oppositional teenager, doing the opposite of what you want it to do. Are you planning to talk to your RE again by a certain time if AF doesn't start? As for as your frustration with the ttc process, I can so relate to your pain. DW and I have been on the journey for a 1 1/2 years and although I feel like so much has happened in that time frame, there has been no pregnancy yet. It makes sense and it's inevitable to have those WTF moments, I'm sure my moment is due soon. I truly hope this journey is smoother and kinder to you and DP in 2012.

 

Carmen: Here is to clear signs of implantation. thumb.gif It sounds that you have a great relationship with your KD. That is beyond awesome. Just because DW and I are beginning to use a KD, I am wondering whether your DD looks/acts like KD at all and if so what has witnessing that been like for you and DW ?

 

Planet: Timing of anything when ttc is such art and sometimes I feel like a such newbie with it. When I was getting IUIs done at RE office, the policy was to do the IUI around 9am the day after the LH surge. So wouldn't you know it, it was always funny to see clusters of lesbian couples sitting nervously in the RE waiting room anytime I have been there for any appt around 9am. If I was doing two IUIs, RE policy was to do the first one the day of the surge. I frankly feel that it takes a while to see what your pattern is with typical fertility signs. The one sign I rely on the most is the positive digital OPK test. I know several folks here match up different signs and they can provide better feedback about that. Since DW and I have been doing home insems a couple months back, the strategy I use is getting the initial positive digital OPK reading and then cont to test noticing the darkening of the test line, after it begins to fade but is still positive (which for me is normally about 24 hrs after initial OPK reading) then it's insem time. We have done only one IUI at home and the timing was way off so sorry I can't comment on it. But definitely if I do an IUI in RE office, I'm going to try to talk my way to getting insem about 24 hrs after initial OPK reading: we'll see. Good luck with figuring out what your timing is.

 

Outdoorsy: Here's to a positive OPK reading soon.

 

 

AFM: So DW and I went out for NY eve, which we haven't done for a long time. It felt nice to get gussied up and have dinner with friends at a nice restaurant. I have had such a crazy year and to be honest I am not sorry to see 2011 go (even though my sweet kitty passed away in 2011).In 2012, I want to reclaim  more semblance of normalcy in my life, having been so consumed with this process and other life stressors. My goal is to work on just having more sponteneity and fun, starting with going to yoga classes this week. I am hopeful about starting to insem with KD sperm sometime at the end of the month. There is a small current issue: he is very kind yet busy person and I'm not sure he be able to go get updated STD testing in time for my O. I guess that is life.

 

Tomorrow I return to work. I hope everyone else transitions well back to reality after holiday life and ofcourse lots and lots of dust.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 


Me (37) married my lovely DW (33) May 2010 stillheart.gif  ttc #1 since September 2010. 3 years of ttc has been tough. Currently struggling with some ovulatory issues (follies don't grow quickly - trouble releasing) At a cross roads: go strong on meds or begin to turn over babymaking to DW. This is very...
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#12 of 325 Old 01-02-2012, 08:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by invitnconceptn View Post

 

Carmen: Here is to clear signs of implantation. thumb.gif It sounds that you have a great relationship with your KD. That is beyond awesome. Just because DW and I are beginning to use a KD, I am wondering whether your DD looks/acts like KD at all and if so what has witnessing that been like for you and DW ?


AFM: So DW and I went out for NY eve, which we haven't done for a long time. It felt nice to get gussied up and have dinner with friends at a nice restaurant. I have had such a crazy year and to be honest I am not sorry to see 2011 go (even though my sweet kitty passed away in 2011).In 2012, I want to reclaim  more semblance of normalcy in my life, having been so consumed with this process and other life stressors. My goal is to work on just having more sponteneity and fun, starting with going to yoga classes this week. I am hopeful about starting to insem with KD sperm sometime at the end of the month. There is a small current issue: he is very kind yet busy person and I'm not sure he be able to go get updated STD testing in time for my O. I guess that is life.

 

Tomorrow I return to work. I hope everyone else transitions well back to reality after holiday life and ofcourse lots and lots of dust.gif


Our DD looks SO MUCH like our KD it's crazy! Except she has my brown eyes. Even some of her mannerisms seem to be like him too...it's very odd lol Sometimes I look at her and think "hmmm I know I had something to do with 'making' you." But seriously, she looks very much like him. It doesn't bother us at all...it's just kinda weird sometimes to look at her and see him so obviously and not much at all of me. I'm so glad we have a KD as I think it would be weirder for us to have her look nothing like either of us but have no idea who she looks like! (Funny story, KD put up a photo on facebook of himself around 3 and I showed it to DP, who isn't on FB - without telling her who it was - and she said oh my god, he is the cutest thing ever!! he could be DD's brother! who is it?)

 

I hope things go well with your KD and you have a great start to the new year. I've heard so many stories of people switching to KDs and getting pregnant immediately!

 

 


Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#13 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 03:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post


Our DD looks SO MUCH like our KD it's crazy!  ...  I'm so glad we have a KD as I think it would be weirder for us to have her look nothing like either of us but have no idea who she looks like!



We, too, have a DD who looks just like her KD.  His mother knew within minutes of meeting her.  People who don't know him think she looks just like me but I can't see it at all.  She has my mouth.  I was always so glad DS1 looks like me because I have no idea what his donor looks like.  DS2 has my mouth, ears and thumbs.  Maybe my eyes, but everyone says he looks just like me.  I think he favors his donor from a picture I saw.  It's weird, the whole genetic thing.  I don't see a lot of behaviors of theirs being like their donor but I know I'm a lot like my dad despite spending little time with him growing up, so I figure there is a lot of someone in each of my kids.  The only thing I really know about all of their donors is the generosity.  I think that's a very fine trait to pass on.


carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
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#14 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 05:16 AM
 
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Eeep, we are tentatively putting our toes back in the water...uhoh3.gif  We just got our info pack from our new RE clinic (we moved) and have our first appt later this month.  I'll remain in lurkdom for the most part (until we actually are trying) but wanted to poke my nose in.  DW will be the gestational parent this go around--and we are excited to see what the next child (fingers crossed it all works out) looks like--mostly because we laugh about DS being a "donor clone" and want to see how much of that holds true (we have a wtbkdonor from a sperm bank).  

 

Fingers crossed for all...


  Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!  joy.gifjoy.gifpartners.gif
 

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#15 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 05:36 AM
 
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Thanks for the new thread, invitn!

M (30), D (30)  TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! bigeyes.gif Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!

 

Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.

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#16 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 08:14 AM
 
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Re: kids looking like their donors:

We have friends who have donor-conceived children (and we've met the donor) and the kids seem to go through stages of looking like the donor and then looking more like their biological mom. Especially when they were babies and toddlers they seemed to change back and forth on a weekly or monthly basis. 

Interestingly the girl, who's now 7 is looking very much like a mixture between the donor and her NON-biological mom these days, which is pretty cool.  She has many of her mannerism and body language and when they argue in portuguese, waving their arms around, you have to laugh as they are so clearly mother and daughter.

 

My wife also had similar experiences growing up with her step-dad who didn't come into her life until she was about 11.

Even though there is no biological link at all, when he used to go to parent-teacher meetings at her school the teachers would recognize him across the room and say 'oh, you must be S's father, you look so much like her. Come on in.'  

It used to make them chuckle.  

The same would happen at her sporting events, etc. People would automatically assume he was her father as they clearly looked so alike...

They still have so many similar mannerisms today, like the same food (desserts), enjoy similar hobbies, etc

 

I'm looking forward to starting our own little 'science experiment' of the nature vs nurture debate. lol.gif

Our KD looks more like me, I guess, (in terms of hair and skin colour) but is very different from both of us in personality. On the one hand I really don't care what or who the kids look like, but I was just thinking about whether I would have chosen a donor of a completely different race, and I'm not sure.

I love mixed-race kids (and grown-ups) as they look so much more interesting and beautiful and when I was a teenager I had a plan that I would have 4 or 5 kids all of different mixed-race origin. Like a little 'united colours of benetton' poster. Any of you remember those? Those kids were just so cute!! I wanted a little gaggle of those.

And living in Vancouver mixed-race marriages are so common as to be barely noticeable, so mixed-race children are everywhere and are just so adorable.  

 


found the love of my life 13 years ago, kissy.gif married 5 yrs ago, now TTC #1 stillheart.gif

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#17 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 08:47 AM
 
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Happy New Year to everyone!  I went off the grid for much of the holiday season but it is good to be back. I couldn't agree more with those of you who are glad to get a fresh start in the new year. 2011 was a very hard year for us and I am ready to make a change! 

 

Finding the KD conversation very interesting.  When we looked for our frozen donor, we intentionally sought out someone with physical and personality characteristics similar to mine (since we were using DP's eggs).  They will be mixed (DP is Asian) so they may not end up looking much like either one of us?

 

My Beta was yesterday.  It came back at 827 so the RE said I didn't need to go in for a second test.  I go in for my first u/s on 1/18.  DP and I are very excited about the news.  I so hope this little one sticks around. Staying cautious but hopeful....


Mad about DP with dog2.gif dog2.gifcanine children.

Proud auntie to 8 nieces and nephews.

TTC #1 since October 2010. 

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#18 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 10:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wishin'&hopin' View Post

Eeep, we are tentatively putting our toes back in the water...uhoh3.gif  We just got our info pack from our new RE clinic (we moved) and have our first appt later this month.  I'll remain in lurkdom for the most part (until we actually are trying) but wanted to poke my nose in.  DW will be the gestational parent this go around--and we are excited to see what the next child (fingers crossed it all works out) looks like--mostly because we laugh about DS being a "donor clone" and want to see how much of that holds true (we have a wtbkdonor from a sperm bank).  

 

Fingers crossed for all...


Welcome back!!

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by seraf View Post

The only thing I really know about all of their donors is the generosity.  I think that's a very fine trait to pass on.


Agreed :)

 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by alphahen View Post

Happy New Year to everyone!  I went off the grid for much of the holiday season but it is good to be back. I couldn't agree more with those of you who are glad to get a fresh start in the new year. 2011 was a very hard year for us and I am ready to make a change! 

 

Finding the KD conversation very interesting.  When we looked for our frozen donor, we intentionally sought out someone with physical and personality characteristics similar to mine (since we were using DP's eggs).  They will be mixed (DP is Asian) so they may not end up looking much like either one of us?

 

My Beta was yesterday.  It came back at 827 so the RE said I didn't need to go in for a second test.  I go in for my first u/s on 1/18.  DP and I are very excited about the news.  I so hope this little one sticks around. Staying cautious but hopeful....


 

Nice to hear from you! Hooray for a great beta :) Any chance of twins for you?

 

 

Afm: 6dpo whistling.gif I think the progesterone gives me VERY vivid dreams...I've had them the last 3 nights. When I was pregnant with DD I had vivid dreams every.single.night of my pregnancy so it must be a hormonal thing. Some sharp cramping last night but nothing else very exciting. I have the day to myself today which is a nice thing once in awhile....will spend it building some ikea dining chairs, returning some clothes that didn't fit DD and dropping our xmas stuff off at the storage locker....yes, I'm a wild woman when I'm on my own ;) Oh, and acupuncture this afternoon!

 


Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#19 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 10:41 AM
 
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Carmen - Progesterone gives me very weird and often very scary dreams.  Sometimes I worry about how much I might be stressing out my body with all that craziness while sleeping.  I have been trying to meditate right before bed for a bit.  It seems to be helping some??   A couple of times, I have even fallen asleep with the headphones still on blush.gif

 

As for the twin question, it seems it could be a possibility.  We transferred two embryos.  I found this cool site called the "BetaBase".  It has charts with Median/Min/Max Betas by DPO for thousands of women.  Anyone else used it?  Anyway,  the median beta for singleton pregnancies at 18 DPO was 416 and the median for twins in the same time frame was 806.  However, the min and max values for both are almost exactly the same (~10 to ~10,000) so I guess I will have to wait until the 18th to know for sure. 


Mad about DP with dog2.gif dog2.gifcanine children.

Proud auntie to 8 nieces and nephews.

TTC #1 since October 2010. 

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#20 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 12:37 PM
 
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Hey everyone! I went to see the RE today. I've got good news and bad news.

 

The Good News

They want me to start taking the tamoxifen tonight and come back in on the 12th so see if I'm responding.

 

The Bad News

My prolactin levels were high. They were actually normal, but on the high range. The nurse told me that it's actually lower now than it was during my last blood work a couple of months ago. She said it's probably nothing to worry about, but they want to repeat the blood work on the 12 to see what it is then. She said that if it keeps going up I would need to go for an MRI. Me being the hypochondriac that I am, I immediately start worrying about pituitary tumors and such. My DW told me to calm down and now worry; she pointed out that the level is lower now than it was previously and that is probably a good thing. Does anyone have any experience with this?

 

I haven't had a chance to catch up with everyone else; we just got back into town last night.


Mother to one dd .
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#21 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 04:30 PM
 
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RS: try not "to be where you aren't." Prolactin levels can elevate just in the moment. If you're stressed for instance which is why they'll have you come back for a second draw, you can elevate your level. Until you get that second draw, really no conclusions can be made. Secondly, it's natural to slightly elevate from the last draw and it's not necessarily a big deal. Hang in there and do your best to wait for the second draw. Best of luck.


me (40) DP (47) TTC since April 2010, 5 IUIs & 6 at home w/ fresh
Short luteal phase, septum resection in Sept 2011
Jan 2011 a BFP! Try #11 angel.gif 8w2d (blighted ovum)
April 2011 BFP! Try #12 angel.gif 9w2d (no heartbeat)

Nov 2011 BFP! Try #14 angel.gif 8w0d (twins, no heartbeat)

June 2012 -- Moving onto IVF with PGD

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#22 of 325 Old 01-03-2012, 09:26 PM
 
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Happy 2012!! It feels like its going to be a really good year!
 
invitn- Thanks for the shiny new thread! Here's to some thread keepers luck for you!
 
Cananny- I love what you did with the letter to the universe. I truly believe in the power of positive thinking. I know it may seem silly to some but I am sure that our mind is the most powerful tool that we have and sometimes you just gotta lay it out there and let the universe know exactly what you are expecting to happen. I hope you are feeling better today and not getting upset with yourself for feeling sad. You have every right to feel all the things you are feeling.
 
Planet- I totally understand your curiosity about timing. It seems like I have read/heard conflicting things about the best time to inseminate. I am currently reading Stephanie Brill's book and it seems like it may be giving me more questions than answers regarding timing. It says that it is best to always do 2 insemination's per cycle, even if that means missing cycles due to lack of funds and that the first insemination should happen when you have a faint positive on an OPK and the next should be within 18 hours from the first. While others say that insemination should take place later. Good luck!

 

Alphahen- Congratulations on the great Beta numbers!

 

I find the conversation about KDs so interesting. I bet it would be such a neat thing to see your LOs similarities with them. Also, I agree with Anna that its also pretty cool to find similarities between your kids and the non-biological mom/parent.

 

 

Afu- We have been talking about switching sperm banks from OHSU to NWCyrobank. Has anyone used them or know anyone who has? One of the things that has been really important to me is getting a WTBK donor, which I thought was what all of the donors are from OHSU. Then, last night I was reading through different things on their website and found that the contract that donors sign says that they will consider contacting the child if/when a 21 year old child who was conceived using their sperm contacts OHSU. This really doesn't seem to me like they are actually willing to be known, especially since OHSU makes people sign this contract in order to become a donor. So if anyone has any suggestions or comments about a different sperm bank, not necessarily NWCyrobank, I would love to hear them.

 

dust.gif


After years of waiting, DP and I are so excited for the arrival of our babies, expected January 2015.
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#23 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 05:12 AM
 
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kgul -I'm not too worried about it, because they were down from the last draw and were actually within normal levels this time.

 

wishin -welcome!

 

invitinconception -Thanks for the thread! Would you please move me to 'Waiting to O?' Thanks!


Mother to one dd .
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#24 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 11:01 AM
 
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Krista,

This is my first time seeing your updated sig. I'm so, so sorry to hear the news -- I knew it wasn't looking good, but I didn't know the result until now. There really are no adequate words, but I hope you are doing OK emotionally. You still have a strong record of frequent BFPs/fertilization, which is not something all of us can say. What are you doing this cycle?


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#25 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 11:03 AM
 
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Since I am only waiting to o, I indulged yesterday in making myself crazy by Googling the name of my sperm bank (NECC) with various other search terms, and I of course found some very unflattering things posted (anonymously) on the donor sibling registry site. Wonderful. But the bank is one of the places our midwife suggests, and some other clinics do too, so I'm trying to chill.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#26 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 01:35 PM
 
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Krista, it's nice to see you are sticking around smile.gif Big hugs to you for having the courage. Do you and your DP have any plans on how to move forward?

 

 

Afm: 7dpo....knowing I'm not going to test until 14dpo is a killer and it is making the 2ww go sooooooooooo slow! I'm completely neutral on guessing if I'm pregnant or not. I really can't tell when taking the progesterone because it seems to affect everything. Acupuncture was heavenly yesterday as usual....I always fall into such a deep, deep sleep...which is so nice when I feel so sleep deprived most of the time!


Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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#27 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 02:28 PM
 
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Re kids looking like their donors:  Friends our had a baby girl last year, and this kid looks like an exact cross between both of her moms!  They did a ID release donor, so they have no idea what he looks like, but she looks exactly like her gestational mom with a mix of her NGP thrown in.  Craziness.  I don't think you could tell which one she's genetically related to anymore.  Awesome thing too is that NGP is the SAHM, so maybe it's intense nurture?  

 

DW is half Chinese, and I'm about as white as they come (my ancestors are from the British Isles, so I'm lily white with dark hair and eyes, DW is also pretty pale with identical coloured eyes and hair, we are often mistaken for sisters, which is *wieeerrrdd*).  Both of our moms have blue eyes and both of our dads have brown eyes, so we each carry a recessive blue eyed gene.  KD has blue eyes and brown hair, so we expect our kids to look VERY similar (they will be genetic half siblings) and very much like each of us plus KD.  It should be fun when people ask "so whose the 'real' mom?".  We have fun playing the "what will they look like" game.  KD is also very tall and lanky, and my family carries a tall gene, DW not so much.  He also has a giant head, which should be fun.  ;)  He's also SUPER SUPER SUPER gay.  I love it.  Our kids will have boring parents and an incredibly fun "Aunty Donor".  ;)

 

Good luck everyone with all the drugs!!  DW is on a progesterone supplement, but she seems calmer and less swing moody than before... meet....  :)


Me (29) and DW (32).  Taking a long break from TTC, back at it sometime in 2015/2016.  2 fur babies cat.gif cat.gif, Mustang and Anastasia.
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#28 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 06:39 PM
 
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Yay AF has finally graced me with her presence ....lol its a good one too ...
I'm squeduled for my follicle scan on Fri the 13th and if I'm.ready ill get trigger sot .then.my Dr comes in on sats to just do iui...thought that was really cool ....
So do I pick sperm up on Friday and just keep it....? Knowing banks r closed weekends ?
Do I need to rent the tank then? Weekends are not the time for sperm pick UPS !!!! Lol

We are moving....dp is sooo happy ..found the perfect and bay area priced duplex for rent one block from.us now ..I'm happy to keep my five min commute to work smile.gif
It's nice we have a room for potential baby ..either birth or adoption....and has a yard for the fur kids !!!! We move the 14th....good timing to get knocked up smile.gifsmile.gif

Hi to everyone ..fx carmen !!!!joy.gif
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Loving life with our triplet boys born Feb 24th 2013 at 34 weeks biggrinbounce.gif

 

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#29 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 08:03 PM
 
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Hi everyone,

I'm back after a somewhat brief absence. I've just looked back through the last couple of months, and wanted to say:

 

Krista: I'm so very sorry to read the recent news from you.  I hope you're doing okay through this latest sadness. Thinking about you.

 

Desert: I'm sorry I wasn't around to celebrate your BFP! That is so exciting, and I'm thrilled for you!! broc1.gifcarrot.gifbroc1.gifcarrot.gifbroc1.gifcarrot.gif

 

To everyone else, especially the new people, welcome!

 

AFM, I've been absent as I've been going through fertility testing and treatment for a bacteria.  We started TTC in the Spring with home insemination and a known donor, but it didn't work and so we moved to a clinic with an anonymous donor, and finished the battery of tests (all clear!)  We are just now starting insems this cycle. I'm day 10 tomorrow, and the nurse thinks we'll insem either Friday/Saturday or Saturday/Sunday.  I got a bit of help with Clomid for the first time, so I have two follicles right now.  Fingers crossed!

 

It's good to be back! I'm trying not to get too excited, and to stay calm about the whole thing. I'm looking forward to meeting the newest members, and to catching up with old pals.  Cheers!

 


Our little boy was born early at 26 1/2 weeks on June 28/12!! Small but strong! joy.gif

Follow our NICU experience: http://adairpickle.wordpress.com/
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#30 of 325 Old 01-04-2012, 08:06 PM
 
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... sorry... out of practice...

 

INVITN: Could you move me to Waiting to O? Thanks! And thanks for being the threadkeeper!!  orngbiggrin.gif


Our little boy was born early at 26 1/2 weeks on June 28/12!! Small but strong! joy.gif

Follow our NICU experience: http://adairpickle.wordpress.com/
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