Queer Conceptions February 2012 - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#241 of 360 Old 02-22-2012, 12:03 PM
 
AnnaNotherThing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 74
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sorry for the wall of words. Skip over, it probably doesn't concern you.

If you want to know about the flip side of working with a lovely, kind, available know donor, then read on.

 

 

Well, I have news.

It's very complicated and confused but the core is that our lovely friend and known donor is not who he said he was.

We won't be proceeding with this any further.

 

Yesterday evening instead of having a productive conversation with S about how the two of them can better communicate with each other he ambushed her and told her he wouldn't donate to us anymore. This shocker was followed by an ugly tirade that blamed just about everyone in his life for making his life just 'unbearable', calling us 'soul eaters who suck the life out of him' and that he was not willing to have such 'toxic' people in his life. That this thing is just out of control taking up his every waking minute and preventing him from living his 'real' life and that it was slowly killing him.

 

Uhm, what?

 

This is the direct opposite of what he has been saying for the past 5 months.

Last insem he told us again how happy he was that it was insemination week again, that it always gave him such a happy glow. 'I hope this is always this much fun! I really love you guys!'

He blames his parents and family for not supporting him (they do, they're awesome! And really excited about this. They voiced some concerns at the start in the form of 'have you thought about what would happen if...' which he didn't like and has been angry with them ever since)

He accuses us of taking up every waking hour of his day and not allowing him to have a life away from this. ??? We require his services 3 days a month for maybe half an hour in the evening after work. He calls us once he gets home has had his dinner and a shower, and I drive over there to pick up his donation. After that he gets on with his evening. Around CD1 (once we know the previous month's attempt didn't work) I call or text him to let him know and to give him an idea of when S might next ovulate. We also try to meet up some time that week to check in with each other, see how everyone is doing and what -if anything- we want to change the following month. In total I think that adds up to about 4 hours of his time each month. We've kept the whole thing super casual and relaxed to make it as enjoyable and stress free for everyone involved. In actual fact we've all had a lot of fun, laughed a lot, had nice dinners and brunches together... sometimes he calls me, for a chat, or texts me about something... I get funny emails about things that happen at work...

I could go on, but it just gets weirder and further removed.

 

In all the many, very open and amazing conversations we've had over the months he's never mentioned or even hinted at any of this. There was no subtext, no undercurrent. And i was really listening.

My first impression was that he's deliberately lied to us all this time, telling us everything was fine and he was happy when in fact he was stressed and upset all along.

 

Having slept on it I now think what he was telling us all that time was true (and it really feels true) and over the past week he's had a kind of emotional break down related to many other things in his life.

He's a pretty intense, super-high-energy person. He throws himself into things with a passion and conviction that's amazing to witness. He almost hums with electricity. He works 40 hours a week, plays in 2 bands and rehearses with them on Tuesdays and Thursday evenings. Wednesdays he hosts a show at a local music venue. Fridays he often has gigs. Weekends he either works extra shifts or has music gigs or is otherwise busy. He also has a girlfriend (who is amazing and totally supportive of this).  I think he's burned himself out with all this stuff and now has come crashing down and is looking for something to blame.

 

I could get past all that and say 'look, you just need some time. Take a month off, chill out, think about things and we'll talk again in April or May.'

Except that I can't shake the feeling that this is his thing. His pattern. 

 

He was a little musical jazz genius in high school and was offered scholarships to various music schools. He went, and decided it wasn't right for him after 8 months. He described it to me as 'those music teachers were just sucking out my soul. I couldn't devote my energy to feed them'. Changed courses to go to another University, and came back to his parents place, sinking into a deep depression for 6 months, sleeping 14 hours a day, not eating, etc. 

A year later he got married, after 4 months of dating. They divorced, which he described as 'she had her sucking tentacles in every aspect of my soul and I had to rebuild everything from zero. It was worth it to get that toxicity out of my life.' He then decided to go to law school, threw himself into that, was accepted to a great school in the UK and didn't go. 'what they were asking was just too much. i wanted to do this for myself, not pour my energy into filling some one else's agenda' The last 2 years he's been in another 'soul sucking, toxic' relationship (it was very ugly) which ended in August and he then approached S with his offer of donating sperm to us.

he threw himself into this with a conviction and energy that I questioned at first but then accepted as just his way of living life to the full.

 

When i heard him describing us as 'soul eaters' who were 'draining his life away' and that he couldn't have this 'toxic energy' in his life i nearly fell off my chair. It was like a little chain of twinkling lights came on, linking back to all the times he'd used those words to describe the bad things that had happened or been done to him. Knowing the details about this current 'toxic' event in his life, I'm thinking all those other 'soul suckers' were people like us, who got the blame when his 6 month energy rush runs out and gets sucked down the drain in a swirling vortex.

 

Yesterday i was pissed.

Pissed for being lied to and pissed that he ambushed S after work and told her this news in the car, at the side of the road. She was heartbroken and totally distraught and then had to drive home, trying to see through tears and tell me. You don't do shit like that to friends.

After speaking to him (I asked him to come over and speak to me in person. We talked for about 2 hours) i felt strangely calm and a lot lighter.

I feel like we've had the luckiest of escapes. It really frightens me to think that our last attempt could have worked and we'd now be trapped in this- because this would have happened anyway. This was always going to happen. His mother tried to warn me, even, but I didn't get it at the time. She brought it up a couple of times saying things like 'i hope you know what you're getting into' and 'you think you can handle all his energy'. She used words like 'volatile' and 'uncontrolled'. Damn, I need to call that lady and thank her for trying. 

 

I couldn't describe it better myself, really. He's like one of those super bouncy rubber balls. You throw it into a room and it ricochets off the ceiling, floor, walls, lampshades- out of control, kinetic energy. He can't steer it or manage it until finally the energy runs out and he disappears into depression and panic mode, shutting down, cutting ties, breaking promises and commitments and blaming everyone within reach. He's super fun to be around, smart, loving and all-round awesome to know... until he apparently flips over to the dark side.

 

And the horrid thing is that the cycle is starting again already- i can see it!

He wants to 'devote 120% to my girlfriend, she deserves everything I have to give and I want to devote myself entirely to her happiness'. Uh-oh. If you have a job, 2 bands, family commitments, gigs and whatever else, you don't have 120% to give. You have maybe 5%. She's lovely and smart and amazing. And in 6 months she'll be the 'soul sucker toxifying' his life. greensad.gif

Now I want to call her and warn her. Maybe then they have a chance if she knows where the land mines are buried.

 

So, after all that, I feel overwhelming relief.

I feel grateful for my calm, mindful, straightforward wife who steers a steady course and brings so much happiness into my life.

I feel lucky that we dodged a bullet and narrowly avoided bringing this volatility and unpredictability into our marriage and into our family. I keep sighing in relief even as I type this! smile.gif

Like we just sidestepped a whole bunch of crazy that would have affected us for maybe the rest of our children's lives.  Phooooooooooooooaaa.....

 

So, there you have it.

The flipside of working with a wonderful, kind, articulate, compassionate known donor.

We knew the risks going in, we did the work, had all the conversations. We did everything we thought we could do.

And we got really, really lucky.

 

Not sure what's next for us.

Just take my off the list completely, nosreves. We will be back, but at this point i don't know when or how. Surprisingly this experience hasn't put me off using a known donor again, but I think S is going to feel differently about that. smile.gif

 

I also wanted to thank you all for your kindness and encouragement. You ladies are awesome and I wish you all the luck and happiness in your pursuit of this goal!

 

I guess sometimes the mountain you think you're climbing turns out to be a volcano.

 

 

 

 

 

 


found the love of my life 13 years ago, kissy.gif married 5 yrs ago, now TTC #1 stillheart.gif

AnnaNotherThing is offline  
#242 of 360 Old 02-22-2012, 12:12 PM
 
lisedea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: the middle of northern lake michigan
Posts: 637
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh no, Anna! I am so happy though you are finding this out now before it is too late--think how complicated it could have gotten!! I hope you are back soon--you (and your quirky posts) will be missed!!

wishin--nice to see you back again!!!

M (30), D (30)  TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! bigeyes.gif Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!

 

Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.

lisedea is offline  
#243 of 360 Old 02-22-2012, 12:21 PM
 
mrsandmrs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 934
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh, Anna. I'm so sorry to hear about that. It sounds like such a nightmare but you're right, what a great stroke of luck that the fallout happened now and not when there was a tiny person who would be affected. dizzy.gif  My thoughts are with you & S during this. We hope to see you again soon, I love reading your long posts. 


heartbeat.gif rainbow1284.gif wife (31) + wife (37) rainbow1284.gif heartbeat.gif & our three sons  bikenew.gifbabyf.gifbabyf.gif
mrsandmrs is offline  
#244 of 360 Old 02-22-2012, 12:27 PM
 
mrsandmrs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 934
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Carmen - I'm glad the acupuncture brought you some relief. There is some kind of magic in those tiny needles. FX that things happen as quickly and easily as possible for you. 

 

 

Lisedea-  Do you have plans for other things you're going to do differently this cycle if you can't switch to medications? I guess we'll wait and see what your FS says. 

 

 

Krista - you are such a vault of knowledge. 

 

Wishin&Hopin - your new clinic sounds great! Glad you had options to shop around, because that first clinic sounds nightmarish. How do those places stay in business?  I had no idea that clomid could aggravate depression and anxiety. I thought it just made you a little ill-tempered. That's good to keep in mind... 

 

 

 

AFM ... thumb twiddling. 1dpo. 


heartbeat.gif rainbow1284.gif wife (31) + wife (37) rainbow1284.gif heartbeat.gif & our three sons  bikenew.gifbabyf.gifbabyf.gif
mrsandmrs is offline  
#245 of 360 Old 02-22-2012, 12:35 PM
 
AnnaNotherThing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 74
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

thanks ladies.

 

we're surprisingly unscathed.

 

Just popped back in to link to this, actually:

http://gizmodo.com/5886870/the-first-fda+approved-home-sperm-count-test-is-now-available

 

Brand new FDA approved home sperm testing kits.

Get em now from Walgreens!


found the love of my life 13 years ago, kissy.gif married 5 yrs ago, now TTC #1 stillheart.gif

AnnaNotherThing is offline  
#246 of 360 Old 02-22-2012, 01:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
nosreves's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Paris
Posts: 339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

anna -- i am sooo sorry that things turned out this way, but i think you really did dodge a bullet.  it sounds like he might be bipolar.  in any case, i'm glad you found out now.  are you sure you don't want me to just move you to "taking a break/figuring things out" instead of deleting your name completely? it would be sad to see your name vanish :(    sending huge hugs to you and your DP.  

 

 


Ex-pat gal (40y.o.) in France and her Froggy wife (42y.o.).  Expecting a little (brussel) "sprout"  in Dec 2012 after a year of at-home inseminations and three medicated IUIs in Belgium.  

nosreves is offline  
#247 of 360 Old 02-22-2012, 03:22 PM
 
hopeful22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 145
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Anna- I am so glad you and S really doged this bullet! I hope you are back soon and then don't stay long. winky.gif You (and your delightful humor) will be greatly missed. Let us know when you figure out the new plan!

 

Carmen- A 21 day cleanse sounds intense but good. I hope things get moving on the right track for you soon and as easy as possible.

 

 


After years of waiting, DP and I are so excited for the arrival of our baby girl, expected January 15th 2015.
Remebering our Angel Baby, Emery.

hopeful22 is offline  
#248 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 04:41 AM
 
rs11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: U.S.
Posts: 272
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)

Anna: I am sooooooooo sorry you're going through this. That's awful. I hope you find someone else (or a bank you like) soon.

 

Mama: Congrats! joy.gif If I got a BFP and called my OB and she couldn't see me for over a month, I'd find another doctor. Or a midwife. I know Krista said that's normal, but it's waaaayyy too long in my opinion. One of the nearby midwives will even meet with you for preconception check-ups/etc, and when you catch, she wants to see you right away.

 

Wishing:  I'm glad the new clinic is working out for you! The last thing you need is a homophobic RE! Most clinics do a psych eval? Our RE just met with us and discussed our plans, prospects, etc.

 

Mrs:  Good luck!

 

AFM: No cramps since Tuesday. The RE (the nurse really) said not too worry about it; it was probably hormonal (I've had so many drugs this month) and a lot of women have some spotting between cycles. She also said that it could have been implantation cramping even though it was a bit early, but cautioned me not to test until next week because of the trigger shot. Not that I was going to anyway. She did say that if the cramping and/or spotting happened again, to call back and they would probably have me come in.

 


Mother to one dd .
rs11 is offline  
#249 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 05:12 AM
 
wishin'&hopin''s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: liminality
Posts: 830
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

rs11--The three different places we've been have all required psych evaluations.

Anna--wow, sounds like your former donor's breakdown may be a huge gift to you...

Mama--most OB/GYNs don't actually see pregnant patients until weeks 8/9 and will just tell you to keep taking your prenatal vitamins.  The only reason we ever saw anyone before 8/9 weeks was because we worked with a fertility clinic and they offered early ultrasound (6 weeks) as part of their protocol for early pregnancy.  When we moved from RE to OB our first visit was 9 weeks.  

 

Question--for those of you doing monitored cycles, do your clinics require a CD1 transvaginal ultrasound?  This is the only part of the protocol we aren't thrilled with...Did any of you find that the CD1 ultrasound was actually helpful?

 

 


  Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!  joy.gifjoy.gifpartners.gif
 

wishin'&hopin' is offline  
#250 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 05:28 AM
 
lisedea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: the middle of northern lake michigan
Posts: 637
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
13dpo. My temp this morning went up again a little bit so I decided to take an internet cheapie. I swear I saw something on it (totally exciting even it was an evap or something because I am so used to the stark, white space) and D said that there *might* be something there. BUT...followed it up with a digital and clearly said "not pregnant". Ah well...AF is still not here (although not considered late yet) so I will wait and see what the rest of today and tomorrow brings. I must say, I won't be completely heartbroken if not pregnant this cycle because I love Mr. Feburary (my bank's featured donor of the month). Sara (f you are reading this), I almost love him as much as I loved Mr. March from last year! smile.gif

M (30), D (30)  TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! bigeyes.gif Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!

 

Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.

lisedea is offline  
#251 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 07:04 AM
 
dandylez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Lise, I'm keeping my FX for you!! Mr. February! Hahahaha! Love it!

 

Hopin' My clinic did a CD3 ultrasound (when AF is nice and heavy irked.gif), but not a CD1 ultrasound.  Here's a snippet on the why of the CD3 ultrasound:

 

Q: Why do I need a scan on day 3 of my period while I am still bleeding?
A: Transvaginal ultrasound is a very important tool for the reproductive endocrinologist in assessing ovarian reserve and in evaluating the uterus. Day 2 or 3 of the menstrual cycle is the best time to evaluate the ovarian reserve by counting the number of resting antral follicles in each ovary (a method to assess egg quantity), and the endometrial lining thickness that should be ideally no more than 3-5 mm. If the lining is thicker, it may suggest an intracavitary lesion such as a polyp and thus require further evaluation.

 

I imagine there's a similar reason for doing it on CD1, and that it's just part of their overall monitoring. I hope this helps!

 

Anna, what a pain in the butt for you guys! I hope you're back in the game soon!

 

Mama CONGRATS! carrot.gifbroc1.gif

 

Good luck to everyone in the TWW! I'm hoping for some more BFPs soon!

 

 


Our little boy was born early at 26 1/2 weeks on June 28/12!! Small but strong! joy.gif

Follow our NICU experience: http://adairpickle.wordpress.com/
dandylez is offline  
#252 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 09:12 AM
 
kgulbransen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 386
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wishin: CD3 (or CD1) ultrasounds are extremely helpful. This is really where the foundation for fertility is laid. Forgive me if I'm not up-to-speed as to what you mean by "monitored" (meaning, I don't really know what your plan is for this cycle) but knowing what your resting follie count is (also known as antral follicle count) is very important. That gives them an idea of how many eggs you could possibly develop or how many eggs they need to mature if you're using stim meds. This is why they also call it a baseline u/s.

 

But perhaps you knew all this and you were just asking why a CD1 ultrasound instead of a CD3. It doesn't much matter whether they do it CD1, CD2 or CD3. It just needs to be in the beginning of your cycle. They also will see if there are any cysts that developed in your last cycle and have not resolved themselves. They won't stim you if you have a cyst because stims can only make a cyst worse.

 

Hope that helps.

 

Krista


me (40) DP (47) TTC since April 2010, 5 IUIs & 6 at home w/ fresh
Short luteal phase, septum resection in Sept 2011
Jan 2011 a BFP! Try #11 angel.gif 8w2d (blighted ovum)
April 2011 BFP! Try #12 angel.gif 9w2d (no heartbeat)

Nov 2011 BFP! Try #14 angel.gif 8w0d (twins, no heartbeat)

June 2012 -- Moving onto IVF with PGD

kgulbransen is offline  
#253 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 09:13 AM
 
carmen358's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The beautiful west coast of Canada!
Posts: 3,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh, Anna. I'm sorry :( I have to ask...did you know this guy for very long? It seems like a total 360...and that just sucks. I hope you'll be back soon. Please keep in touch!


rs: Good to hear the cramping is gone. Let's hope the cramping was a good thing.


Mama: Congratulations!

 

lise: Hmmm That sounds interesting!! The digitals are not as sensitive as the internet ones as far as I know...so who knows!! Keep us updated!

 

 

Afm: Nothing exciting going on! 2 more days and I'm going to fill the prescription if nothing happens. That process is really scaring me but the risk of infection is scaring me even more. If I do have to take it I'm going to hope it works fast so I don't have to miss the big annual oscar party on Sunday that we go to every year. The theme this year is "glamorous old hollywood" and I'm going with a Marlena Dietrich look :)


Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
carmen358 is offline  
#254 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 09:45 AM
 
dandylez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by kgulbransen View Post

Wishin: CD3 (or CD1) ultrasounds are extremely helpful. This is really where the foundation for fertility is laid. Forgive me if I'm not up-to-speed as to what you mean by "monitored" (meaning, I don't really know what your plan is for this cycle) but knowing what your resting follie count is (also known as antral follicle count) is very important. That gives them an idea of how many eggs you could possibly develop or how many eggs they need to mature if you're using stim meds. This is why they also call it a baseline u/s.

 

But perhaps you knew all this and you were just asking why a CD1 ultrasound instead of a CD3. It doesn't much matter whether they do it CD1, CD2 or CD3. It just needs to be in the beginning of your cycle. They also will see if there are any cysts that developed in your last cycle and have not resolved themselves. They won't stim you if you have a cyst because stims can only make a cyst worse.

 

Hope that helps.

 

Krista


Hmmm... I had a small cyst and they still stimmed me.  Maybe it depends on the size?

 


Our little boy was born early at 26 1/2 weeks on June 28/12!! Small but strong! joy.gif

Follow our NICU experience: http://adairpickle.wordpress.com/
dandylez is offline  
#255 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 12:09 PM
 
mrsandmrs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 934
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

wishin&hopin - my clinic does a cd3 ultrasound for the same reasons dandylez and krista mentioned. my nurses have mentioned several times that they won't stim if there is a cyst, but i think for some people it would depend on the size of the cyst; one nurse told me the ovary can twist away from the fallopian tubes if they stim with a cyst. so cd3 is a baseline to see what the next cycle looks like.

 

rs - i'm glad your cramps are gone. what dpo are you on now?

 

 

lise - that's a good sign! my fingers are crossed for you! there can be false negative tests. this is why we have to pee on so many of them. 

 

carmen - sorry to hear nothing else has happened yet. does your acupuncturist do herbs too? your oscar look sounds awesome. 

 

 

afm... 2 dpo is about as boring as waiting to O. i'm so hungry all the time! that's it. 


heartbeat.gif rainbow1284.gif wife (31) + wife (37) rainbow1284.gif heartbeat.gif & our three sons  bikenew.gifbabyf.gifbabyf.gif
mrsandmrs is offline  
#256 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 12:32 PM
 
mtnlisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Anna--sounds awful--but also agree that you may have dodged a bullet there

 

lisedea--fingers crossed for you bigtime!

 

mrsandmrs--I remember being starving almost immediately (but memories are rosier than the actual TWW I think)

 

AFM--For the first morning ever DD did not ask to nurse when she woke up (so I went 16hours between feedings).  I am doing the "don't offer, don't refuse" weaning.  I still feel a little conflicted about it, but called my mom and she said that she weaned me at about 12m in order to regain fertility, so I don't feel too bad about it.  Since our RE is willing to let us try with out clomid before the end of breastfeeding, I have been peeing on OPKs 2x a day, but only seeing a faint line.  I think I may have missed the peak last month, but I also don't 'feel fertile' right now.  RE wants to do an u/s if I can pinpoint the peak, but it seems that I might miss it again...

mtnlisa is offline  
#257 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 12:53 PM
 
Skyandtru's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: philadelphia, pa
Posts: 69
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Good luck to those in the TWWfingersx.gifdust.gif

 

 

Hi everyone! we haven't been around in a while and now we are back and ready for the 3rd attempt. We have a new donor since the previous one refused to get an up to date semen analysis. We are looking forward to our 1st insem with our new KD next weekend


we welcomed our babyboy.gif on 11/18/12joy.gif

Skyandtru is offline  
#258 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 12:57 PM
 
Skyandtru's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: philadelphia, pa
Posts: 69
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Annagreensad.gifsorry to hear about your situation we hope you and dp will be back in action soon enough


we welcomed our babyboy.gif on 11/18/12joy.gif

Skyandtru is offline  
#259 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 01:01 PM
 
Skyandtru's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: philadelphia, pa
Posts: 69
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

CONGRATS TO THE BFP'S i missed!!!jumpers.gif

 

 


we welcomed our babyboy.gif on 11/18/12joy.gif

Skyandtru is offline  
#260 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 01:26 PM
 
kgulbransen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 386
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by dandylez View Post


Hmmm... I had a small cyst and they still stimmed me.  Maybe it depends on the size?

 


Dandy: most definitely. Around 14 is the cutoff although each clinic can be different. Thanks for noting.

 


me (40) DP (47) TTC since April 2010, 5 IUIs & 6 at home w/ fresh
Short luteal phase, septum resection in Sept 2011
Jan 2011 a BFP! Try #11 angel.gif 8w2d (blighted ovum)
April 2011 BFP! Try #12 angel.gif 9w2d (no heartbeat)

Nov 2011 BFP! Try #14 angel.gif 8w0d (twins, no heartbeat)

June 2012 -- Moving onto IVF with PGD

kgulbransen is offline  
#261 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 05:16 PM
 
gellybeangrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ottawa, IL
Posts: 332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hello everyone...

 

Has anyone taken Delestrogen aka EV2? I'm doing a FET in March and I have been prescribed this. The generic is about $20 and the brand name stuff is about $500 or more. My new RE's staff insist that I take the brand name and keep telling me that I will not have the optimum results with the generic...but I just don't know if they are telling the truth.

 

Anna~ So sorry to hear about your KD. Hope you and S have better luck finding another KD if you are planning to go that route or are you all going to look into donor sperm?

 

Carmen~ Hugs...hug2.gif

 

 

 

hola.gif Waving at everyone else.

 

Gelly


Lela (39) & Irene (54) TCC  #1 stillheart.gif ! Mom to furbabies Bruzier (Chorkie), Diesel (Min-Pin), and Giovanni (Chihuahua).dog2.gif

 

Multiple ICI's, and IUI's...2009-2011....BFN's

1st IVF August 2011....BFN

1st FET March 2012....BFN

2nd IVF July/August 2012....

gellybeangrl is offline  
#262 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 06:03 PM
 
outdoorsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh, Anna, that's so horrible and lucky at the same time.... lucky, like you said, that you dodged the bullet of bringing that person into your lives and your future child's life forever. I originally wanted a KD, but after our first two choices didn't work out and we went with a WTBK donor, I still wondered whether there would have been snags with the known donors that we couldn't have foreseen. It could happen to anyone. I am sorry to hear you ask Nosreves to be taken off the list. I hope you guys are back here soon with a plan you both feel good about.hug2.gif

 

Sky, welcome back! I missed seeing you around here. Good luck with try #3!

 

AFM - CD 24. Temp is zig-zagging all over the place. Still no smiley. Today I bought some Target cheapies (less than half the price of Walgreens, by the way), and although it was negative, the test line was fairly dark. Tomorrow I am going to use both the digital and the cheapie. Obviously this would be late to ovulate, even for a long-cycle girl like me. I had some peripheral signs that point to possible O on CD 19. I plotted my data on FF and it has not detected a likely ovulation date.

 

As a side note, I got a new short haircut after having my hair below my shoulders for several years. I call it my "empowerment" haircut. I am trying to muster enough charting vigilance and positive attitude to get this situation under control!

 

And as always, good luck and bonne chance (hi nosreves) to everyone in the TWW.smile.gif


babyf.gif... due in late June.

outdoorsy is offline  
#263 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 08:00 PM
 
esenbee2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 381
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Outdoorsy, my temp has zigzagged the past 3 days too!  I thought maybe I had missed my surge.  I hate it when signs aren't clear!

 

AFM, the past two days have been crazy, I'm glad that I can come here to share...

Most recent first -I called my sister tonight to find out where her boyfriend took her on their surprise getaway which she had told me about on Tuesday.  Turns out, she knew where she was going, she was going to Hawaii to elope.  They decided to because they didn't want a big wedding, wanted a ceremony on the beach, but didn't want to miss out on my dad walking her down the aisle.  So, they "last minute" decided to go to Hawaii where my mom and dad were on vacation for 2 weeks.  She has been married for about 20 minutes now I guess...  Excited for her and all, yes, but quite hurt.  When we were younger, high school age, she had told me she would make me her maid/matron of honor.  I hadn't given it much thought at that time, but I was touched and decided that she would be mine too.  When I got married, I asked her to be, she said yes, and flew to Connecticut for the ceremony.  Now, my only sister (and only sibling) is getting married, I don't get to be her matron of honor, or able to be there at all, and was lied to about the whole thing.  AND, my dad didn't walk me down the aisle (because I wasn't marrying a man) though he did attend.  I knew that he would probably walk my sister down aisle, but it is still a little jab now that it has actually come time for that.  I feel like the LEAST she could have done was asked me and DD to come, even if she thought it was too last minute or we couldn't have afforded it (I'm just guessing that is the reason).  I would have found SOME way to get there.

Next, I went to buy a car today at an auction during their "Buy Now" program, bypassing the bidding wars.  I found a car, it looked great, was in my (cheap) price range, test drove great.  I bought it, was waiting on my proof of insurance to be faxed over, and got curious about what exactly this "Odometer Disclosure Statement" meant and using my phone, paid the outrageous amount for a CarFax report.  They said the car was True Miles Unknown.  From what the auction place said, it seemed like AutoCheck.com just couldn't find enough records to prove the mileage that it was listed as.  Come to find out, there is such thing as a True Miles Unknown title, where if there is a report of a mileage discrepancy, they mark the title with this.  The Car Fax report shows the last known mileage, before the discrepancy report, to be 214,000 aprx. in December!  The mileage on the odometer?  107,000 aprx.  I was so sick to my stomach!  I asked the auction what I could do about it, cuz I did NOT want a car with 214,000 miles, I need something reliable!  They said, I couldn't do anything, I bought the thing.  They asked the dealership who sold it if we could just void out the whole transaction, and of course they did not want to.  The auction did offer me a deal, where they would run the car through next week's auction and Buy Now program to see if I can get back the money I put into it.  They would waive the seller's fee for me, reinburse me for the taxes and title fee, and if I found a car at next week's auction, they would deduct the buyer's fee that I paid.  On the way out, they flagged me down saying that there was someone who had wanted the buy the car while I was in the process of making my offer.  They called that person back to see if they wanted to buy it, they had already went to work, but would come back tomorrow morning.  SO, here's to hoping they will buy it or it will go for enough at auction next week...  In the mean time, I'm getting a hold of my consumer rights lawyer and getting some advice.  It is my fault for not being aware of what TMU meant, but it is misrepresentive to post the 107,000 that the odometer reads when you KNOW mileage is DOUBLE, but just using a loophole of a TMU title and a disclosure statement.  Augh, I still feel sick to my stomach about it for being completely duped!

Last thing -My temps have zigzagging!  I got a temp rise Tuesday CD 15, I thought I had missed OV because I did my first OPK Monday.  CM was mostly EW, but mixed with white.  Temp back down on Wednesday CD 16, I had hope (but scant CM)!  Temp back up this morning CD 17.  I was worried again and making plans to schedule an RE appointment to store our shipped swim team for a month and just start doing office insems. for next cycle.  But then, I got 2 smiley OPKs today!  So, we will be insem-ing soon!  (Guess it's a good thing that my sister didn't invite me to her Hawaii wedding...)

 

I am emotionally EXHAUSTED from today!  Night all!  Here's some baby dust to all of you!  dust.gif


Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married rainbow1284.gif May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD babygirl.gif (L-4). dog2.gif Billa,  dog2.gif Hurley, dog2.gif Spitfire (Leroy) and cat.gif Nollie too!
* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * * 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * belly.gif * 36 * !38! * 40 - stork-boy.gifstork-boy.gif EDD 9.5.13

esenbee2 is offline  
#264 of 360 Old 02-23-2012, 08:19 PM
 
DesertSunsets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Tucson
Posts: 525
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

esenbee, oh my gosh.  First off, about your sister, I'm so sorry.  Undoubtedly, she probably didn't want you to feel obligated to spend the money, or had some kind of good reasoning - but those unspoken assumptions always end up hurting feelings.  It also cuts deeper when it's family, especially close family.  I really understand how you must be feeling that your dad walked her down the aisle - my parents ended up not coming to our wedding in California after I finally found out my dad was going to refuse to give me away, since he and my mom didn't believe in gay marriage.  It was heartbreaking.  Hugs to you, lady.  Secondly, about the car!  Whoa!  That definitely seems like some kind of dirty and underhanded dealing.  Even if it is legal, it certainly isn't ethical.  I hope you're able to get it resolved without too much hassle.  

 

outdoorsy - your "empowerment" haircut sounds great!  I'm sorry your temps are all over the place and your cycle isn't cooperating.  angry.gif

 

HEY to Gelly!  Nice to see your name around here again.  Good luck in March!  Sorry, I don't have any knowledge about those meds at all. 


And hello to everyone else!  I'm cheering you all on, waiting for all your lovely BFPs.  


Mom and Mama to our Ever so clever daughter (9.1.12)! We have a blog, too!
DesertSunsets is offline  
#265 of 360 Old 02-24-2012, 06:36 AM
 
esenbee2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 381
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

I can’t believe I almost forgot about the most upsetting thing I’ve been through this past few days!  At a doctor’s appointment Wednesday, I heard the words, “Might be cancer.”  NOT the doctor’s appointment I thought I was going to have…

Back in 2005 during my freshman year of college, away from home, a doctor found a nodule on my thyroid.  They did few tests, including a fine needle biopsy, came back with nothing to worry about.  Fast forward 6 years, I went to my family doctor in December for a pre-TTC check up and to schedule an echocardiogram (my mom and aunt have hereditary cardiomylopathy, both with pacemakers/defibulators now).  My family doctor wanted to follow up on my thyroid nodule, so an ultrasound was done, came back with blood flow, a cause of concern and they wanted to do another fine needle biopsy.  That came back non-cancer, but they wanted me to see an ENT specialist to have someone that I could regularly go to for follow up care.  I couldn’t make the appointment and had to cancel.  Then here recently, I came down with serious sinusitis with horrible pain in my cheek, eye, and jaw.  It wasn’t going away, so I set up another appointment with ENT.  The soonest was a week away and my sinusitis ended up going away, but I kept the appointment to have the consultation about my thyroid.

He looked at my results from the fine needle biopsy and found quite few things of concern and said the biopsies are only about 75% correct in detecting cancer and because of the other things of concern he wants to do surgery and remove my left thyroid, do a complete biopsy of it while I am still under anesthesia and if it is cancer, then remove my right thyroid too.  If I get to keep my right thyroid, it will be enough to produce the right amount of hormones.  If it gets removed too, then I have to be on medication for the rest of my life.  I told him about TTC and we came up with a plan to wait to see if I get pregnant with this cycle, and if I do, finish with the pregnancy and breastfeeding and then do another ultrasound and biopsy and see where we are at.  If I don’t get pregnant this cycle, then I will be taking a break from TTC (we were probably going to take a break anyway for financial reasons) to have the surgery and get my left thyroid removed.

I was pretty shaken up about it all, I really thought I was just going to touch base with the ENT and he would say, See ya back in a year to do follow up tests.

Now I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get pregnant this cycle so I don’t have to deal with the thyroid stuff ‘cause I’m quite scared about it all!


Me (S-26), DSp (B-29) married rainbow1284.gif May 21, 2010 in Connecticut. DD babygirl.gif (L-4). dog2.gif Billa,  dog2.gif Hurley, dog2.gif Spitfire (Leroy) and cat.gif Nollie too!
* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * * 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * belly.gif * 36 * !38! * 40 - stork-boy.gifstork-boy.gif EDD 9.5.13

esenbee2 is offline  
#266 of 360 Old 02-24-2012, 10:07 AM
 
darthtunaqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 219
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh geese, I go to work for a couple days and everybody's life blows up.  Is Mercury in retrograde again??????

 

Anna, I'm sorry to hear about your batshit crazy donor.  Talk about near miss... yikes!  If you do end up going with fertility clinic, UBC Fertility Clinic at BC Women's Hospital (conveniently where I also work!) is the cheapest, and I've heard amazing things about Genesis (friends of ours used them), but much more expensive.  But good god, what a douche.  Sounds like he's got some SERIOUS shit to deal with, shit that you don't want to be caught up in.  Glad you've found peace in this, he sounds like he's got a lot of growing up to do.  And to stop running away from his problems or conflict or fears or whatever.  Enough pathos.  :D  I will miss you, my fellow Vancouverite!!

 

Esen, it sounds like you've been through the ringer!  I hope your thyroid thing gets all checked out, your thyroid is not something you want to be riddled with cancer... :(  Bad things come in three's, so I hope you're done!!  And I totally sympathize with the whole sister thing, my childhood best friend who is basically like my sister is getting married in the summer and didn't ask me to be in the bridal party, so so so crushed, considering she was only one of TWO bridesmaids in our bridal parties (DW and I had 2 each).  It sucks hardcore.  But at least I'm invited to the wedding (in Calgary... in August.  Outside.).  

 

 

 

Soooo.... has anyone ever heard of queer mama accidents????  DW's AF arrived right on time, mine is mysteriously absent.  Maybe it's just teaching me a lesson for assuming that we now cycle together?  Maybe the stress of house buying pushed my ovulation back?  I don't track my cycle other than to keep track of my bleeding days... I'm not totally outside a range of normal cycle length, I'm CD29 (anything up to 33 is pretty standard issue for me in the past).  Maybe I've willed my body into a hysterical pregnancy?  I'm unwilling to POAS until I hit 34 days.... Has anyone ever heard of this?? I've assumed it's possible, especially with home insems, but likely extremely rare.  I'm having a ton of CM too, which after the discussion about copious CM has me totally freaked out.  AHHHHHHH.  

pokeyac likes this.

Me (29) and DW (32).  Taking a long break from TTC, back at it sometime in 2015/2016.  2 fur babies cat.gif cat.gif, Mustang and Anastasia.
darthtunaqueen is offline  
#267 of 360 Old 02-24-2012, 10:18 AM
 
outdoorsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

so sorry esenbee. I'd say more but...

 

quick question, please help... just got a smiley shortly after 1 p.m. today on *CD25*. Is this possible? Is it likely this isn't a healthy egg? My temps and CM don't line up. What about the possible O pains and temp drop I had around CD19? Is it possible for LH to rise again later in the cycle, in the luteal phase, in a way that wouldn't mean I'm ovulating?

 

thanks guys.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

outdoorsy is offline  
#268 of 360 Old 02-24-2012, 10:36 AM
 
outdoorsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

OMG. Tested two more times, both negative. WTF.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

outdoorsy is offline  
#269 of 360 Old 02-24-2012, 10:42 AM
 
kgulbransen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 386
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Outdoorsy: so you got one positive OPK around 1pm today and then tested again within an hour or so and got negatives? You can't ovulate twice in a cycle but your body can gear up to ovulate, then it doesn't actually ovulate and then it tries to gear up once more. But it sounds like in following your other signs, you did ovulate around CD19. How has your temp been since ovulation? That's another good indicator. Did it do a fallback?

 

Do you have higher levels of FSH? It's more common in high FSH women to get double LG surges.

 

Also, if you tested on three tests within the same time frame, you could just have hit a defective test. That's totally possible! Try not to freak out and best of luck.

 

Krista


me (40) DP (47) TTC since April 2010, 5 IUIs & 6 at home w/ fresh
Short luteal phase, septum resection in Sept 2011
Jan 2011 a BFP! Try #11 angel.gif 8w2d (blighted ovum)
April 2011 BFP! Try #12 angel.gif 9w2d (no heartbeat)

Nov 2011 BFP! Try #14 angel.gif 8w0d (twins, no heartbeat)

June 2012 -- Moving onto IVF with PGD

kgulbransen is offline  
#270 of 360 Old 02-24-2012, 10:53 AM
 
outdoorsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Krista, Thanks for the quick answer. I tested three times with the same cup of pee. First one positive, then two negative. I also used cheapies and the lines are very close, but not quite as dark at the control line. My temp did its first real drop of the month at CD 19 (97.76 to 97.44), when I was having possible O pains. Since then it has zig-zagged up two days, then down up down. My highest temp was 97.92, and today was 97.77. On CD18, CM was wet. Otherwise it has been pretty dry/lumpy the whole month. I have no idea if I have high FSH. I had $900 worth of bloodwork done on my first day at the midwife's office, and no one mentioned any issue with FSH.

 

Thoughts? THANK YOU!!!


babyf.gif... due in late June.

outdoorsy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off