Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - April, May, June! - Page 11 - Mothering Forums
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Queer Parenting > Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - April, May, June!
qmama42's Avatar qmama42 09:04 AM 05-02-2012

Way to go Mamas! I'm sending ELV now and hopefully you'll be meeting Soren any time now! You can do it!!!

CascadiaMama's Avatar CascadiaMama 12:10 PM 05-02-2012

Happy almost birthday, Soren! Can't wait to see you. Hang in there, Sara!

SwtRainbowBrite's Avatar SwtRainbowBrite 12:21 PM 05-02-2012

Sara- Looks like you didn't need that Labour Tea after all!!! I am so stinking excited that little Soren will be making his debut sometime today!!!! joy.gifELV goodvibes.gif


Dandy- I am happy to hear that you don't have to move during your pregnancy, we are in the process of looking for a bigger place and it is super nerve wrecking!


Qmama- Thank you again for sharing your birth story!! I am so sorry that your LO picked up Rotavirus that has to be scary! I hope she is back to 100% soon!


Wehrli-  Awww Silas is getting so big and I love the family pic!


Desert- OMG you have some serious talent!! Do you know how much it would cost to ship a painting that size? And how are you liking your CR-V?


Ahope- You are so awesome for donating your milk! I am inspired to do the same once our little one is here and I have an excess supply!


Glasses- I am happy that A enjoyed nakey time and was able to explore some developmental milestones!!


Library-  I am sorry that things are so overwhelming and hectic right now. hug2.gifI LOVE the new pic of little miss Alice!


Isa- Little E did not look pleased with the goats LOL! But I have to admit that owl outfit is too stinking cute!! How are you holding up with DP out of town? I hope everything goes better than you expect with your mom.


AFM- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone for your warm thoughts and kind words about our LO's heart condition (or lack thereof) we are relieved to say the least, and now I can focus on just enjoying my pregnancy and start focusing my mind on the birth which is very hard for me. It really helps that we have a solid birth plan in place, we have a doula, and we have health care providers who support my wishes. Now I just need to get a handle on my anxieties and fears about her coming earthside because we are 32 weeks and with my Gestational Diabetes my Midwives aren't too keen with me getting to my due date so we have roughly 5-8 weeks left to go YIKES! But can I just say that with Sara going into labor I am tad bit freaked out because I am next in the lineup dizzy.gifThere are times in pregnancy that it feels like this is taking forever and then there are times when you think where inn the world did the time go??? But nonetheless we are getting super excited to meet her  and kiss her squishy little face!

nosreves's Avatar nosreves 04:53 PM 05-02-2012

so while we wait for little Soren to make his appearance (lurk.gif), i thought i'd go ahead and share my news from today (that was what you were hinting at, AmandaH, no? orngbiggrin.gif)  


i had my first u/s this morning, and before we even got to the dildocam transvaginal portion of the show, the doctor said "there are two embryos in there, and they're both alive."  after that we got to see the two sacs each with a little bean hanging out in it.  we also saw the beautiful little flickers of their hearts and heard both of them beating.  what exquisite music.  they're measuring 10cm and 10.7cm, and according to the doc, everything looks perfect.  when we were headed to the appointment this morning DP bet me that there were two in there, and she was overjoyed to see she was right.  she got much more emotional about it than i did...i think she's cried at least three times today.  it's all a bit unreal to me right now, but in general i'm feeling pretty serene.  last week, i had an eeninetsy bit of brown discharge (as in, i wouldn't have even seen it if i weren't scrutinizing every piece of toilet paper post-wipe), and it freaked me out.  that and the absolute lack of morning sickness has made me reluctant to get my hopes up too much...hence my silence here.  DP reminded me today that my acid reflux and sore boobs and sudden bouts of intense hunger are all strong symptoms, too.  interestingly enough, the french have a word for the sudden hunger:  fringales.  


here's a sneak peek at our little (brussel) sprouts:our little sprouts


btw:  vesic vitt is the abbreviated form of vésicule vitelline or the yolk sac. and the j1 means jumeau 1 or twin 1. 


these little ones were conceived in belgium, will be born in france and will be genetically half american and half danish (donor).... our future citizens of the world. :)

pokeyac's Avatar pokeyac 05:29 PM 05-02-2012

How exciting!!!!!!!!!  Congratulations!  How many weeks are you now?


qmama42's Avatar qmama42 05:39 PM 05-02-2012

Nosreves--I am over the moon for you and DP! What fantastic news! Thank you for sharing with us!

dandylez's Avatar dandylez 06:17 PM 05-02-2012

Nos Reves, that is such wonderful, wonderful news!!! I am so thrilled for you guys! Lots of love to the two little sprouts! joy.gif


Editing just to add that "dildocam" is my new favourite word. We call it "getting wanded" but I just told DP that we have a new name for it!

SwtRainbowBrite's Avatar SwtRainbowBrite 07:19 PM 05-02-2012

Nos- I am so over the moon happy for you!!!! Two little beans!!! That is so awesome that they are going to enter this world already full of so much diversity!!! joy.gif And LMAO at your correction of Dildocam that is going to be our new word for that blasted contraption!! 

wishin'&hopin''s Avatar wishin'&hopin' 07:23 PM 05-02-2012

Nos--can we call you Dosreves now?  Congratulations!!!  And Saras...hope things are going well and little Soren is safely earthside or nearly so.  

seraf's Avatar seraf 08:03 PM 05-02-2012
Brief photo birthstory at www.sachfo.blogspot.com

I can't post pictures to mothering from the phone.

Besides trying to yank out Sara's IV a couple of times, Shay did pretty well. He didn't do well with my sister.
onemommyonemama's Avatar onemommyonemama 08:44 PM 05-02-2012

WELCOME SOREN!!!! joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif

Happy birthday beautiful one!

mami2mami's Avatar mami2mami 08:47 PM 05-02-2012
Welcome to the world Soren Dare!! We have been anxiously awaiting your arrival. Although I think your Moms were waaay more anxious than the rest of us. Congratulations Saras on your 3rd beautiful baby boy! Enjoy the babymoon. Soren is adorable and from the looks of it Sara your pushing was well worth it.
carmen358's Avatar carmen358 08:49 PM 05-02-2012

Yay! Welcome, Soren!!! joy.gif

qmama42's Avatar qmama42 09:11 PM 05-02-2012
Hello beautiful Soren! Welcome to the world, little one! Saras, you look great--job well done on the addition to your family!
crystalperez's Avatar crystalperez 09:46 PM 05-02-2012

CONGRATS to sara and seraf!!!!! What a beautiful baby!!!


Nos- Beautiful embryoS!!!


For those of you who have asked about me... I am doing alright. We dont argue about things if we dont talk about them and thats what we have been doing lately and I know thats not a good fix or anything but I am less unhappy. No sight of counseling. I'm trying to just not think about all the bad things and just start over and do the things she expects from me but,then the next time we argue about the same stuff I wish I would have left the last time she said the things she says. I just hope she stops and realizes that we could be so happy if she let us be.

wishin'&hopin''s Avatar wishin'&hopin' 05:23 AM 05-03-2012

Welcome Soren!  

dandylez's Avatar dandylez 06:25 AM 05-03-2012

Congrats, Saras!!!!! And welcome to Soren!! So happy for you all!

glassesgirlnj's Avatar glassesgirlnj 08:35 AM 05-03-2012

I said this on another thread but congrats to the Saras!  I'm sorry Shay wasn't happy at your sister's, Seraf - I guess he wanted to be where the action was!


Rainbow, I'm sure that with a good doula, good HCPs, and a partner who loves you, everything will be just fine!  I definitely want to keep hearing updates.


Nosreves, how exciting for you!  I remember sore boobs being a BIG part of the first trimester for me...


Crystal, I'd like to gently encourage you to seek counseling for yourself if your partner isn't interested.  I know the time I spent in therapy, years ago, helps me a LOT to deal with any challenging situations in my life today...

BUT I know that has to be something you do on your own timetable, and I don't want you to feel nagged or pressured about it. 


AFU, A is getting better at rolling every day now, and is beginning to try to crawl!  (She moves forward about one inch every 5 minutes... :D )  My spouse tells me she is also learning the difference between "nose" and "lip" (i.e., she will poke him in the appropriate place if he says the word while he's holding her.)

dandylez's Avatar dandylez 09:07 AM 05-03-2012
Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj View Post


Crystal, I'd like to gently encourage you to seek counseling for yourself if your partner isn't interested.  I know the time I spent in therapy, years ago, helps me a LOT to deal with any challenging situations in my life today...

BUT I know that has to be something you do on your own timetable, and I don't want you to feel nagged or pressured about it. 



I think that counseling is such a great idea for all couples. DP and I were talking about it and are going to arrange for a few sessions before the baby comes. We're not aware of any problems right now, but we know that a new baby can be the equivalent of throwing a grenade into a relationship. I think it's easy to get so busy with baby that communication starts to falter and small issues build into big ones.  Crystal, I know from previous experience that counseling can be really scary and anxiety-producing if there are existing challenges in a relationship, but I agree with glassesgirl that  it's a good idea for when you're ready. It's hard to talk through this stuff, but it is so worth it if it brings you both to a new understanding.  Unfortunately, this sh*t doesn't go away on its own.  Thinking about you!

junebug1's Avatar junebug1 10:23 AM 05-03-2012

welcome soren!! love.gif

and omg congrats Nos! twins are so much fun, congratulations!! joy.gifjoy.gif

prettyisa's Avatar prettyisa 11:21 AM 05-03-2012
Welcome to the world, Soren! and congrats, mamas!! I love the picture of Shay beaming like anything at his new brother!

Crystal--I'm glad things are going ok for you--I hope you manage to find a way to work things all out in the long term, but there is something to be said for leaving well enough alone sometimes. Just remember that you have support here, and options if you ever feel like you need to get out of there for any reason at all.

Nos! Dos! I love it! So happy to hear the good news! All that work and you get a big payoff in the end! smile.gif

Brite--you just take your time, we'll be patient and wait for your little one to come in due time!

Glasses--that sounds like a nice starter pace--plenty of time to re-route her if you see a potential hazard!

AFM--good and bad. Mum and I had our little talk, which was nice, and I'm sure I'll feel better from here on out. I get so weird around her emotionally for some reason, so this was good. The bad is that I think I've gone and gotten PUPPPS. Ugh. My stomach is all itchy and horrible, and now I'm getting it on my legs and one elbow. It's terrible. And nothing helps. I called the midwife to see if they can help, but no one is calling back. I have an appointment tomorrow, though, so at least I can get it looked at then. And then a question for you: when and how often should I start pumping? E and I are doing great on the feedings, but she doesn’t always go for both sides—one seems to be enough more often than not. I’d like to start getting a stash going so I can leave her with a bottle some day, but I don’t want to either interfere with her getting enough to eat or encouraging my boobs to make way more than we need, either. Advice?
ad astra's Avatar ad astra 12:12 PM 05-03-2012


Sara and Seraf- Congrats!!! Welcome to the world Soren!


Nos- I had a feeling you were joining the "two for one" club! Great news!



We finally got home from the NICU last Friday and our twins are 3 weeks old now so I guess I owe you a birth story.  Our babies arrived via a planned c-section in a room of 30+ people. Hearing their cries, seeing their squirming pink bodies, and finally being told that they are perfectly healthy and well brought incredible relief and joy to us.  A year ago we would have done anything to have this experience.  Their birth may not have been an intimate family affair that many wish for but it got them here safely and well and that’s all that matters to us.  Many of us envision a particular birthing experience and few get exactly what they pictured.  I guess it doesn’t really matter how our children get here whether it’s at home with scented candles, in a car, operating room, via adoption, blending of families or surrogacy what matter is that they arrive into our open arms!

Our little girl was 5.5 lbs and needed no help transitioning while our son was 6.5 lbs and needed a bit of help adjusting to the life on the outside.  At 35 weeks they both started breastfeeding the same day but lacked stamina to take in enough landing us all in the NICU for couple of weeks where they got extra breast milk through NG tubes.  Having them finally here has been incredibly emotional… I think it took me good three days to be able to hold them without crying.  We are now home and settling into a bit of a routine as a family of four.  Thank you all for your support during the TTC process and this very stressful pregnancy. 

KSDoulaMama's Avatar KSDoulaMama 12:13 PM 05-03-2012

Isa- As long as you don't really have an oversupply, pumping now and then on the opposite side from the one you nurse on shouldn't cause too much of a problem. Also, your breasts are constantly making more milk, and the "emptier" the breast is, the faster it's working at making more. It's kind of nervewracking at first thinking you might be taking all the milk, but it will generally work itself out and if E is still hungry, she'll probably just keep nursing and removing the milk as it's made. If you have a pretty strong supply, which I'm guessing you do since bfing seems to be going well, then most likely it won't require a heck of a lot of pumping to get a decent stash for a bottle or two. I don't know what kind of pump you have, but if pumping doesn't seem to be very effective, I'd look into things like the fit of the flange and learn some techniques to help you let down well for the pump. :)

dandylez's Avatar dandylez 12:59 PM 05-03-2012

Ad Astra: They are BEAUTIFUL!! So happy for you that you're all home together now! joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif

dandylez's Avatar dandylez 01:07 PM 05-03-2012

While I'm on MDC, I thought I'd throw a pic up from last weekend while we were staying at my parents' place.  I'm 18 weeks here.



AmandaHope's Avatar AmandaHope 01:18 PM 05-03-2012

Seraf and Sara: NICE JOB!  I *love* all the pics on FB.  Many, many congratulations on bringing Soren into the world. Shay and Soren are going to be such an incredible set of brothers...I just know it.  So so happy for you all.  When do A and O get to meet him? 


Ad Astra: They are beautiful!  Ohmygoodness--so sweet.  Congrats on getting them home!


Dandy: Looking great! Can't wait to watch that belly grow.


Nos: Yes, I was hinting. Thanks for sharing your super duper incredible news.  How are you doing with the mental adjustment?  As exciting and wonderful as the news is, it must be shocking and possibly frightening, too.  How are you feeling about it?


Isa: Good advice from KSDoula.  I agree that pumping once/day on the opposite side that E just ate from (or, ideally if you can swing, while she is eating, since that makes the milk flow like mad) should get you at least a bottle.  They only take like 3 oz or so (usually) while they are little, so it should be easy to build up a stash.  I'd make sure not to freeze more than 3 oz at a time, though, so that you don't end up wasting milk.  I find that I get the most milk in the morning, but others like pumping at night (if the baby is already asleep but you're not in bed yet, for example...not that I have many of those nights ;-).  If you can find a time that works and stick with the routine, that makes it easier. Your body adjusts accordingly.  Personally, I wouldn't pump more than once/day right now if you don't need to, since you are still establishing a supply and don't want to overdo it.  But I had oversupply probs this time around, so I'm probably more cautious than most. 


AFU: Lilah started crawling yesterday!  I had a friend over, and Lilah was just dying to feel her Crocks (the shoes), so she did her usual reaching and rocking and then moved her (usually stationary) left knee and was off!  I know that (nearly) every baby does it, but it really did seem like a miracle of engineering, physiology, and persistence.  And she is SO SO HAPPY about it.  It took her over an hour to get to sleep, because she wanted to crawl all over the bed. 

qmama42's Avatar qmama42 02:08 PM 05-03-2012

Ad astra--Look at those little beauties! They are amazingly gorgeous and I love how sweet they look in the little hats. Congratulations to you and I am so glad that they are home with you. I hope you are finally able to relax and enjoy motherhood after your tough road to get the babies here.


Isa--I agree--pumping once a day to build a stash should be sufficient. If you skip a day here and there, it shouldn't be a big deal. The lactation consultants here always suggest that you try to have 30 ounces frozen by the time you return to work. If your supply is good, it doesn't hurt to have more than that, just in case... When I had dd#1, I had about 100 oz frozen and that left me a really good cushion so that I never felt like I had to produce xx amount during each workday of pumping. Plus it'll be good to have a little for when you and DP start to introduce the bottle. I froze most of my milk in 2-3 oz quantities too. DD is 15 weeks now and still doesn't take more than 3 oz at a time--of course she was the size of a hazelnut when she was born, so she may be a bit behind in terms of appetite.


Ahope--Yay, Lilah! How exciting! That's so funny that she was so excited that she couldn't get to sleep!


Dandy--You look great! Almost halfway there already?!?! I like your ink toosmile.gif


Crystal--Thinking about you...

CascadiaMama's Avatar CascadiaMama 02:24 PM 05-03-2012

Isa - I read somewhere to introduce the bottle a month before you plan to head back to work, which for us was at five weeks (I stretched out my leave by going back part time when he was 9 weeks, and splitting the time with DP). I started pumping a day or two before that, and found that the four weeks was plenty of time to build a small stash. I also felt like I had waited long enough to establish a good supply without tipping it too far into oversupply (I still have a slight, but very manageable oversupply, which just means we get to donate lots of milk). Someday, you will get sick of pumping - so my advice would be not to rush into it :)


AmandaH - go Lilah! Watch out, world!


Ad Astra, that is a gorgeous photo! What sweethearts. Do they naturally snuggle up to each other all the time?


Sara and Seraf! Congrats! That pic of Shay's grin is priceless. 


AFU - we're in a bit of teething hell right now. Our usually super happy and easy baby has been up with a fever the past two nights. Poor little guy. He can't seem to get comfortable at night, even after ibuprofen or tylenol (days, he's doing well except for the drool). I hope tonight will be better. This was the pattern before tooth #1 and 2 popped in a few weeks ago, but not as severely. Hopefully #3 and 4 poke through soon, so he gets some relief. And DP can stay home with him tomorrow if needed (fever = daycare exclusion), so she'll be able to stay up with him, tonight, too. He hasn't been as interested in the boob overnight when he's so cranky, so hopefully he'll be okay with getting comfort from mommy instead of me. I need some sleep!!

seraf's Avatar seraf 04:13 PM 05-03-2012
Thanks to all. He is awesome.

Nos!!!!!! Is your partner still trying? You could go for a basketball team!

Ad Astra, they are beautiful! I'm going to post a picture of my boys to make you appreciate the fact that they can't claw at each other yet. Your birth story totally made me cry repeatedly.

Isa, morning, once a day was good for me. Do you leak? I leaked a bottle a day in the beginning. My oversupply is not relayed to pumping.

AmandaHope, yay!

Glasses, yay! Shay knows some words, but not those.

Qmama, 30 ounces ain't nothing. Shay takes more than that in one day! Shay only took 3 ounces at a time at that age.

Baby cute. I'm about to put more pictures up.
crystalperez's Avatar crystalperez 08:21 PM 05-03-2012

Question...   nak

dp hates it when people (my family) put their finger in the baby's mouth. I dont mind if they are clean. baby will bring a persons finger to his moutth on his own. sometimes he is fussy in car and someone will offer a finger to calm him. dp gets mad at me for not stopping them. what should i do? (he wont take a pacifier or chewy toys)

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