So a little background first to catch you up to where we are... DP and I have been talking about having children for about 2 years for now. We just did our first insemination this month (with my body) and we are waiting for the results of that. During our TWW we got a call from the Dr saying the DP had ovarian aging (shes 22) and that she should decide if she wants children. She doesn't have years to make a decision and to start. We were both devastated, we thought we had time with her. We both want a biological child from her, she just has zero desire to be pregnant. I've tried to get to the root of the problem and she just says she doesn't know why, she just doesn't want to be. IVF isn't an option, we don't have the money for that.
I have two biological children from a previous relationship, I would love the be pregnant and breastfeed again, but it's not a deal breaker if she has to be pregnant.
Okay, so the help I need... Is there a website/forum or something that she could relate to other women who necessarily didn't want to be pregnant, but for whatever reason were the carrying mom? Is there anyone with stories that I can share with her?
Working from home Mommy. You can too. Ask me how!
me & she = TTC one of these Proud Mommy to two of these
And so are the boys!
My partner & I planed for her to be the one to carry, we were 100% sure that was what we wanted to do, but we ended up losing the baby when she was 5 mths pregnant, at first we thought we would try again with her, but the more we thought the more it made sense for me to carry instead. She would be at a high risk of it happening again, would have to have an OB instead of a midwife, couldn't give birth at the birthing center...there were so many reasons. It was hard to let go of our original idea, but we did and it ended up working out. We just happened to be on vacation near where our sperm donor lives, and I thought I was going to ovulate soon, so we just kind of spur of the moment decided to try, and I got pregnant right away. It was hard at first for me to change my mind set--I felt like I wasn't the one who was "supposed to" be pregnant, but I think most of that was just grieving for our son because we lost him just a few months before I got prego. Anyway, by the time I was about half way through my pregnancy I felt like I couldn't imagine anything else. I'm so glad I just went for it even though I was unsure at the time.
It might just be because her "biological clock" hasn't started ticking yet. I always swore up and down I would never have kids, not that I didn't want a family, but because the whole idea seemed foreign and like 9 months of torture. Even as a small child I always maintained I would adopt kids, regardless of my relationship status. Anyway, around 25 I started having baby fever like crazy. Every baby I saw was adorable and I wanted to squeeze it. Around 27, the baby dreams started. Some people say dreaming about babies has to do with your creative talents, and as an artist, I can see that, but I really think it's just the hormones talking. I still dream about babies regularly, sometimes they're black or the size of a tiny baby doll and other times I'm just like "Oh, I'm pregnant, and now I'm giving birth" but all I can figure is it's hormonal. We'll see if it stops after I actually have one ;)
(gender)queer vegetarian artist co-parenting DDs 14 & 11 with DP and TTC little peanut #3