QQOTD- Queer Question of the Day - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-09-2012, 05:09 PM
 
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yep, although i remember Bound better than Foxfire.  another one is Lost and Delirious (with a yummy Piper Perabo)... and All Over Me with Leisha Hailey.   


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Old 06-11-2012, 10:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think Bound is one of the best movies with lesbian main characters ever made.  I love that movie!  It perfectly balances being a lesbian movie and a mainstream suspense/mafia flick.  Plus, it's sexy as hell.  We have it on DVD and recently lent it to a newly-out friend who had never seen it.




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Old 06-11-2012, 12:02 PM
 
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yeahthat.gif

 

Love Bound!


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Old 06-12-2012, 11:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Gellybeangrl!  Thanks for joining in.  That is a great story.  Nuns are super cool, but that could be a very tough life.  I'm glad you 2 found each other.




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Old 06-12-2012, 12:05 PM
 
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I have a question or two!

Have you or are you planning to go to any pride activities?

Did/will you wear something fabulous?

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Old 06-12-2012, 12:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Excellent question!  I am not sure yet.  We have Dyke March on the Saturday and the Pride Parade on Sunday and celebrations all weekend.  My wife is going to be out of town because her mom is having surgery and she is going to Ohio to take care of her.  We haven't gone to the Dyke March the last few years.  After going 9 or 10 times, it seems like the same thing every year.  I don't really have a need to watch the parade either.  It's great, but I've seen it or been in it a lot.  Also, I can't drink this year so that eliminates one of the fun pride activities.  Last year, the gay cheerleaders had their own stage at the celebration and that was my favorite thing ever.  I love cheerleaders!  I'm going to see if they are doing it again this year and I might go check that out.  On Pride Sunday there is also a free concert in Golden Gate Park with Adam Lambert.  I love him too, and I am thinking about going.  Anyone want to join me?




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Old 06-12-2012, 12:52 PM
 
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We were planning to go to the Pride event one town over (South Orange - Maplewood Pride) last weekend, but the entire household was felled by a summer cold, blah.  And I think NYC Pride would be a little overwhelming for A this year...

 

However, we are planning some fabulous outfits for an event up at Raven Kaldera's farm later this summer, if that counts.

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Old 06-12-2012, 01:15 PM
 
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Planning to go to Toronto Pride. I haven't been in 5+ years, and have never been with DP.  We'll probably watch the Dyke march on Saturday, and then sit in a shady beer garden on Sunday and visit with friends. The big parade in the heat and crowds are usually too much for me, so even more so being preggo.  I'll be focusing more on cooling clothing and sunscreen than on anything fabulous! Maybe a fabulous sun hat!! orngbiggrin.gif


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Old 06-13-2012, 12:20 AM
 
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I used to be a Dyke on a Bike, so that was a big deal for me.  Then I sold my bike, and now I just kinda sit on the side with friends and cheer.  I would love to start a Pride BBQ, since we refer to Pride as "Gay Christmas" and always talk about making it a bigger deal.  DW thinks less of the big deal of Pride.  I took a friend's daughter when she was 18 months and she LOVED the dancing gay boys (and to this day, 2 years later, still asks me about the dancing boys.  Oh god, what have I done???!).  And of course the parade people always give kids all the swag.  I loved pride with a little kid, it was SO much more fun for me.  I'm not a big drinker, and hopefully we'll be nearing the end of our TWW or actually pregnant by Pride this year...  

 

I usually get up in my gay finery, I have an assortment or rainbow STUFF (rainbow bangles, necklaces, mardi gras beads, etc).  Try to look my dykeiest...  Maybe I'll walk with my work this year, really depends on what's going on!  Maybe I'll get to see Carmen this year!  ;)


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Old 06-13-2012, 11:26 AM
 
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I went to Pride this last weekend in the town I went to college in. It has been several years since I have been there and have since gone to pride in much bigger cities (Portland and Denver) and it was crazy to see how small it seemed! I had a good time though. My DP isn't much into Pride but my Mom, brother, sister, brother-in-law and my 18 month old nephew came with DW and I to the parade and it was so much fun being there with a little one! He loved all the music and candy! I hope by next year we are bringing our own babe to their first Pride.

 

As for the second question, I did not dress in anything fabulous!


After years of waiting, DP and I are so excited for the arrival of our baby girl, expected January 15th 2015.
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Old 06-13-2012, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dykes on Bikes is my favorite part of the parade!  I always see someone I know from somewhere.  I also love the PFLAG groups, people with their kids, and the older folks.  They make me tear up.  I tear up at lots of parades.  It just really gets to me when a group of people is really showing their pride in themselves and/or their passion for something.  Same thing happens to me at protests too.  I can't chant because I'm too choked up.  It's kind of embarrassing.  Most people don't need a tissue to watch a pride parade.  Your comments made me think of a great new possibility.  My friends have a 14-year old foster daughter who's gay, and this will be her first pride living with my friends.  She is very into rainbow anything!  I think going to pride with her would be a lot of fun.  She just went to Gay Prom last weekend.  It sounded like a really cool event.  Probably would have made me cry...




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Old 06-14-2012, 12:22 AM
 
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Pride here is big and I really do not care for BIG crowds of drunk people.. or big crowds for that matter. I used to go when i first moved here 10 yrs ago.. The last few I either skipped or volunteered.. I do enjoy the dyke march and seeing the sisters ( a group of people who are fabulous) but other than that.. I am not a fan.. DP has never been and never wants to.

Last year we went to a small town on the russian river for PRIDE and it was amazing.. small.. meaningful and not a bunch of naked drunk people :) I will happily go to that one every year....

 

 

 

QQOTD.. HAS ANYONE SEEM MY AF? GRRR shes a stubborn wentch who refuses to show her face.. Id really like to start this cycle!!!!!!  :)


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Old 06-14-2012, 06:06 PM
 
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Your AF isn't around here, Cananny, sorry! Myself, I'm missing my O, so maybe together we could keep an eye out for both of them, okay?

 

I grew up in Toronto and went to Pride there every year from the time I was in my early teens, with all my friends... None of whom eventually came out as queer, as I eventually did.  We also all drank in gay bars from an early age, actually, because the servers wouldn't ID us: It didn't do my liver any good, but did wonders for my sense of acceptance! I hope you all have fun, those of you who are going.

 

My city's Pride is at the end of the month, and I haven't really thought about it yet.  I'm going to a Pride picnic in a smaller city nearby this coming Sunday, which should be fun... One of DP's closest friends recently moved there and has found the dating scene to be challenging, so we're gonna be her wingwomen and scope out the cuties for her!

 

I also might go to Vancouver Pride in August, but it's currently a choice between that and some excellent backwoods camping... And I think the quiet forest might be winning over the crowded chaos of the city...


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Old 06-14-2012, 08:26 PM
 
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I go to the dyke march every year and the parade the next day. I've also been to pride in Victoria, Melbourne, Sydney (Mardi Gras...SO BIG), New York City and San Francisco a couple of times. I love pride events...I find the parades annoying but it's fun to see everyone enjoying and flaunting their gayness. And I like the dyke march a lot as an alternative to the more corporate parade. We'll be there this year so there is a good chance of seeing us, darth! ;)


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Old 06-15-2012, 12:26 AM
 
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Carmen, I will definitely be on the lookout for you.  The Dyke march always makes me cringe because it's always super hot and the park has almost zero shade and all the pasty, lily white Vancouverites sit around sans sunscreen in the blaring sun for hours at noon, and then whine when they get burnt.  I'm not even sure where it is this year...  I missed last year on account of Girl Guide camp.


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Old 06-17-2012, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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QQOTD-- What are you doing to celebrate Father's Day?  What are your thoughts on Father's Day in general?  Some of us have fathers we are close to or not, some of us have people who have become like fathers.  Some of us are having children without a typical father figure in the picture.  How do we negotiate these things?




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Old 06-17-2012, 06:01 PM
 
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We each called our dads. I tried to talk the kids into making a craft for my dad. Otherwise nothing.

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Old 06-17-2012, 09:03 PM
 
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Both DP and my fathers passed away many, many years ago...mine when I was 4 and my DP's when she was 25. We don't do anything special on Father's Day but I know a lot of great fathers :)
 


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Old 06-17-2012, 10:53 PM
 
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Annnnnnd THANK YOU for this QQOTD, Pokey, because it reminded me to email my stepdad! I can't believe I almost forgot. He's off traveling and I'm not even sure if he's checking email, but I hope he reads it at some point.

 

I called my dad at dinner and we talked on the phone for a while, though I could hear my sisters clamouring in the background... They all live on the other side of the continent, so it's pretty typical for me to phone-in to family events.

 

I consider myself to be rather close to both my father and my step-father (who are the partners of my stepmom and my mother, respectively... Not each other), whereas DP's father is someone whom we only tolerate for the sake of DP's mom.  Her granddad, on the other hand, is a total gem, and it makes me sad to think that our kids will likely not get to know him very well, since his health isn't great and he lives very far away.  I have no idea how we'll deal with Father's Day once we've got children, to be honest! It's definitely something to be thinking about.


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Old 06-18-2012, 08:37 AM
 
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We had a family BBQ for my dad on Saturday night at our place, and he and I will be going on Friday for pedicures together as his gift. He loves pedicures, but this is the first time we've made it a daughter-dad outing! And then we drove up to see DP's dad on Sunday and we made him dinner. Her mom and sisters are in Montreal, so he was going to be all alone for Dad's day.

 

I love my dad. He'd do anything for me and my siblings, and is always around to help with projects, or a phone call away in a crisis. I hope he's around for a long time as a granddad! :)


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Old 06-18-2012, 12:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My Dad's birthday is the 21st, and sometimes it is the same day as Father's Day so he kind of gets the short end of the stick.  I sent him a card and a nice book with little essays about fatherhood.  It seemed like a sweet and interesting book.  I called him yesterday, but he wasn't home so I left a message.  I will call him again on his birthday.  My family is also on the other side of the country, and I miss a lot of the celebrations because of this.  My Dad and I have gotten closer lately.  A big part of that is because my wife and I went to visit him and his wife for a couple days and we had a lot of fun.  They get along well and have a lot in common.  It's nice to have a partner that my family likes so much.  My Dad and I still have a hard time talking to each other about important things though.  We are very much alike in this way.  We would rather send an email or write a letter than try to talk in person.  We both get really anxious and avoid talking about our feelings and such.  That's why it took me so long to tell him we were TTC even though I was fairly sure he would be happy.  He loves being a grandfather.  My stepmother told me once that he worries about seeing his grandkids grow up.  Probably because his father passed away when he was around my Dad's age now.  But my Dad is really healthy and active so I feel sure that he will get to enjoy his grandkids for a long time to come.




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Old 06-18-2012, 11:21 PM
 
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New QQOTD....

 

For those of you TTC their first - when you fantasize about your future child is it a boy or a girl? I know we all just want a healthy baby of course but I wonder if anyone does have a preference or seems more comfortable with one or the other.

 

And for those TTC a 2nd, 3rd, etc. child, same question! Also, is a preference stronger after the first one?

 

For me, I always imagined I would have a daughter...mostly because my family has a lot of girls in it so I just assumed I'd have one...not very scientific ;) I would have been happy with either of course. If I only had one child and it was a boy....while I wouldn't regret having a son of course...I think I'd mourn the fact that I'd never have a daughter. For a second, I think another girl would be awesome but it would also be equally awesome to have a boy and have the opportunity to parent one of each.
 


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Old 06-19-2012, 05:54 AM
 
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LOL, I'm out on this question, but having 3 boys, I think they're kind of awesome.  So far my girl was my hardest.  I adore her and I see clear differences between her and her older brother, but I hear from a lot of moms that girls are harder, and I totally agree.


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Old 06-19-2012, 07:30 AM
 
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LOL, I'm out on this question, but having 3 boys, I think they're kind of awesome.  So far my girl was my hardest.  I adore her and I see clear differences between her and her older brother, but I hear from a lot of moms that girls are harder, and I totally agree.

 

Interesting, I often hear the opposite. Maybe it's from people with older kids though. And my mom would have definitely argued with you...my brothers were a handful from when they were young until....last week! ;)


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Old 06-19-2012, 11:23 AM
 
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I've always wanted a daughter.  I'm so emeshed in female dominated career (RN) and volunteering (Girl Guides), then I turned out to be a big homo, which necessitated MORE interactions with women...  I used to babysit boys almost exclusively (not on purpose), and while they were always wild and crazy, I had the BEST time with them.  The girls I started babysitting only wanted to play dolls, and I had a hard time joining in with that.  

 

I know I will mourn slightly if we don't have a girl, but I'll get over it.  Besides, just because your child's genitalia and chromosomes dictate how their body developed, but doesn't mean that's how they will identify!!

 

I have sworn up and down that I will put my kids in whatever clothing I want, mostly because I watch my co-workers at work spazz about gender appropriate colours for the babies at work (we build nests for the little ones so they don't flail around and get all stressed out, and we have drawers stuffed with coloured and patterned baby blankets, which we use to make the nests a little more colourful and friendly, and GOD HELP YOU if you use pink or purple in a boy's nest).  


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Old 06-19-2012, 11:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Good question, Carmen.  I have always wanted to have a girl, and my wife would also really like to have a girl.  But for some reason, we both seem to think that we will have a boy.  Don't know why we think that.  We have names picked out for both.  I think we both don't know what we would do with a boy, to some degree.  I have 3 sisters, and DW is an only child so we never grew up with boys.  My sisters each have a son which is kind of funny because it's like it skipped a generation.   By that logic, I would have a boy too, but the chance is always 50/50.  I babysat a lot when I was younger and I always enjoyed watching little boys a little more.  They are so sweet when they are little.  I can't explain it.  We have talked about finding out the sex before it is born, and we will probably find out so that we can prepare mentally.  I like the idea of being surprised, and I'm sure I would totally fall in love with the baby either way.  One of each would be fine.  I think if I had 2 boys I would also mourn not getting to have a daughter of my own.




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Old 06-19-2012, 12:39 PM
 
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I always imagined having a daughter first, then a son. I think that stems from the fact that I grew up in that arrangement. Mom and Dad, then me and my brother. I had an amazing childhood and so of course, duplicating that is how I thought I would be able to give my kids the best childhood I can. Now I know that great childhoods come in all shapes and sizes, but I still am stuck on it.

As a teen, I became more bent on having a daughter because my family in recent generations has produced only boys. On both sides of my parents families, only boys since I was born. Once I found DW and knew I wanted to make a life with her, neither side of the family was very nice or kind about it. After that, my desire to have a girl only intensified, so I could rub it in the faces of my cruel family members that the lesbian black sheep of the family had the first girl in 25 years. I think that probably makes me a bit petty. But now we are having a girl, both DW and I are thrilled but I'm a touch sad we aren't having a boy. Perhaps the next baby will be.

Ultimately, especially after having foster kiddos, my heart knows that it doesn't matter a bit and I'll love anybody who comes into our family.

Darth, heaven forbid baby boys be surrounded by such colors as pink or purple!! Surely the world will end and they will be damaged goods forever.

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Old 06-19-2012, 01:12 PM
 
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Darth, heaven forbid baby boys be surrounded by such colors as pink or purple!! Surely the world will end and they will be damaged goods forever.

Or... gasp!... that they might turn out to be gay!


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Old 06-19-2012, 01:31 PM
 
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Great question! Ours is an all-female household -- our dog and our two cats just happen to be females too -- so what on earth would we do with a boy? winky.gif

 

Well said, Darth! It's true that no matter how they're born, they may choose to identify differently. That said, I'm getting stronger girl vibes with this one these days....  Maybe it's a princess-loving, doll-cherishing, adventure-seeking boy?!

 

I think I'll be happy with any healthy little babe, of course.  But sure, I'd love a girl!!  I have 3 sisters and 1 brother, and we girls are strong, feisty, and independent, and we're pretty non-traditional and non-conforming in terms of gender conventions. My brother, on the other hand, as cool and awesome as he is, is way more conventional.  I don't know why that is.  So, I guess I'm leaning towards a girl. 

 

In all seriousness, I hope that whoever he/she is, they'll be caring and sensitive, adventurous and courageous, creative and athletic, accepting, loving, and empathetic. That goes without saying, I suppose. orngtongue.gif


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Old 06-19-2012, 02:26 PM
 
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Carmen, there is an emotional complexity to girls. I can't explain it. They are higher drama. Lol, not all, but the ones I've dealt with at least.

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