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Old 10-12-2012, 07:23 PM
 
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Welcome easttowest! So glad to see you over this way.

Ugh, want to do more personals but my computer broke and I can't navigate anything on my stupid phone! But all this chat makes me sad we can't have a big get together! I would love to meet folks in person! Only a week and a half until my first dr. appointment and it's hard to wait!

Me (39)  and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old.  TTC# 2 via KD  

 

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Old 10-12-2012, 11:05 PM
 
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Sorry about your experience, cananny. I was never weighed once during my entire pregnancy - my midwives didn't do it as part of their care! I did weight myself at home right near the end because I was curious how much I had gained. I agree about finding a different doc...although I would imagine it could be stressful looking for a new doc when you're pregnant with triplets. Good luck!

 

isa: like starling, we didn't do purees either. The few times we tried apple sauce DD gagged. I'd suggest avocado over banana - banana can be constipating. DD LOVED avocado for a really long time. We went through one a day at least! We didn't start until about 7 months and went very slow - she was nursing a ton and was doing fine on the ol' growth charts so we weren't in a hurry.
 


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Old 10-13-2012, 09:47 AM
 
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Seraf--I think I remember you saying something about feeling Shay really early on--how early was it? I SWEAR that I felt fluttery movement this morning--totally different than any other "stomach feeling" I have ever had....definitely not gas. 9 weeks just seems so early.

M (30), D (30)  TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! bigeyes.gif Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!

 

Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.

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Old 10-13-2012, 04:30 PM
 
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Lise, 9 weeks seems reasonable for 3. Movement is super fun. I want to say I felt movement at 10 or 12? Ari was the earliest at 7, I'm not sure how that's possible tho.

Ida, one warning about banana, when she poops it will look like she has worms. Freaked us out. Avocado gagged Shay for a long time but he loved banana.

Dandy, how is it going being home? How big is he? Are y'all able to nurse?

Nos, I just noticed the title change. If no one else wants the thread, I would be happy to take over in November. Is everything ok over there?

East, welcome. Not much to do but eat and sleep. Starling's suggestions are great, too.

Pokey, yay! Congratulations! Are you our mod? Or someone else's? I'll try to stay in line.

Posting from my phone, so no pictures.

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Old 10-13-2012, 10:41 PM
 
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I'm threadcrashing.  So with all the multiples, I feel like I need to pipe in as the Level III NICU nurse (If Adair had been born in my city, I would've looked after him!  And then his mamas would have been counting his fingers and toes to make sure I hadn't nibbled them off... mwahahahaha).  

 

1) If you can, learn proper hand expression technique and start ASAP post birth (within the first hour is best, within 6 hours is considered "gold standard" in our unit).  I *cannot* stress this enough!!  The very best video is the Stanford Hand Expression video here.  Bookmark it, pay attention, practice on your partner (do NOT do this to yourself when you are still pregnant as it releases oxytocin which causes uterine contractions).  The little bandaids are for visual marking.  Express/stimulate every 3 hours.  The earlier you start to work on your milk supply, the higher your milk supply will be.  (This video is *fabulous* for all lactating humans.  I plan to try hand expression exclusively in the early days if I end up inducing lactation, just to see how effective it is).  

 

2) If your babies arrive before 35 weeks, consider investing in something like this, which allows you to hook the flange of your pump and use your hands to massage your milk ducts.  You will keep up your milk supply by massaging and working out the milk.  If you can, pump at the bedside, or have a picture and one of their sleepers with you.  They did a (little) study on pumping aids (pictures, smell, visuals, etc) and having something that triggers your brain improves milk production.  And listening to calming music.  

 

3) Stock your freezer with meals.  If the babies (god forbid) come out way too early (24 weeks) and you haven't had time to prep, when people ask "what can I do?", tell them you want freezer meals.  Or laundry.  Don't by shy, don't try to be nice.  You need to focus on functioning and not throttling your DP/DW/DH/baby(ies) nurse.  

 

4) Understand and accept that high stress levels, sleep deprivation, dehydration and separation of mom and baby are *brutal* on a milk supply!  If you notice a decrease in your pumping volumes, get help right away, either through your babies nurse(s) or the LC.  You CAN take domperidone AND fenugreek AND blessed thistle all at the same time.  Give your milk supply at least 2 weeks before you start worrying about volumes.  If you are really sick after birth or bleed a lot during delivery, your milk will take longer to come in.  If your babies are pre-35 weeks, it can take up to five or six days for your milk to come in!!

 

5) NICU is a gruelling, soul sucking, generally fairly traumatizing experience.  It's OK.  It's normal.  Make sure you talk to a counsellor after you're home and settled.  Some mamas have terrible PTSD from NICU, others are totally fine.

 

But, ya'll are going to get to 36 weeks a piece and spend absolutely no time in NICU.  Right???????  ;)

 

I absolutely *love* my job, I love the babies, the parents, everything.  I love watching them grow (getting pictures of our former NICU babies is the absolute best thing ever).  You will be amazed at how fast they grow and develop, yet every day will seem like it's taking FOREVER.  Celebrate every single milestone.  

 

Peace out, yos!  :D


Me (29) and DW (32).  Taking a long break from TTC, back at it sometime in 2015/2016.  2 fur babies cat.gif cat.gif, Mustang and Anastasia.
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Old 10-14-2012, 06:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by darthtunaqueen View Post

I'm threadcrashing.  So with all the multiples, I feel like I need to pipe in as the Level III NICU nurse (If Adair had been born in my city, I would've looked after him!  And then his mamas would have been counting his fingers and toes to make sure I hadn't nibbled them off... mwahahahaha).  

 

1) If you can, learn proper hand expression technique and start ASAP post birth (within the first hour is best, within 6 hours is considered "gold standard" in our unit).  I *cannot* stress this enough!!  The very best video is the Stanford Hand Expression video here.  Bookmark it, pay attention, practice on your partner (do NOT do this to yourself when you are still pregnant as it releases oxytocin which causes uterine contractions).  The little bandaids are for visual marking.  Express/stimulate every 3 hours.  The earlier you start to work on your milk supply, the higher your milk supply will be.  (This video is *fabulous* for all lactating humans.  I plan to try hand expression exclusively in the early days if I end up inducing lactation, just to see how effective it is).  

 

2) If your babies arrive before 35 weeks, consider investing in something like this, which allows you to hook the flange of your pump and use your hands to massage your milk ducts.  You will keep up your milk supply by massaging and working out the milk.  If you can, pump at the bedside, or have a picture and one of their sleepers with you.  They did a (little) study on pumping aids (pictures, smell, visuals, etc) and having something that triggers your brain improves milk production.  And listening to calming music.  

 

3) Stock your freezer with meals.  If the babies (god forbid) come out way too early (24 weeks) and you haven't had time to prep, when people ask "what can I do?", tell them you want freezer meals.  Or laundry.  Don't by shy, don't try to be nice.  You need to focus on functioning and not throttling your DP/DW/DH/baby(ies) nurse.  

 

4) Understand and accept that high stress levels, sleep deprivation, dehydration and separation of mom and baby are *brutal* on a milk supply!  If you notice a decrease in your pumping volumes, get help right away, either through your babies nurse(s) or the LC.  You CAN take domperidone AND fenugreek AND blessed thistle all at the same time.  Give your milk supply at least 2 weeks before you start worrying about volumes.  If you are really sick after birth or bleed a lot during delivery, your milk will take longer to come in.  If your babies are pre-35 weeks, it can take up to five or six days for your milk to come in!!

 

5) NICU is a gruelling, soul sucking, generally fairly traumatizing experience.  It's OK.  It's normal.  Make sure you talk to a counsellor after you're home and settled.  Some mamas have terrible PTSD from NICU, others are totally fine.

 

But, ya'll are going to get to 36 weeks a piece and spend absolutely no time in NICU.  Right???????  ;)

 

I absolutely *love* my job, I love the babies, the parents, everything.  I love watching them grow (getting pictures of our former NICU babies is the absolute best thing ever).  You will be amazed at how fast they grow and develop, yet every day will seem like it's taking FOREVER.  Celebrate every single milestone.  

 

Peace out, yos!  :D

 

... and as a postpartum doula (with lotsa multiples experience,) lactation counselor, and exclusive pumper for my surrogate babe... I agree with all of these!


Mama to two, and second-time surrogate. Expecting May 2015.
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Old 10-14-2012, 10:41 AM
 
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... and as a postpartum doula (with lotsa multiples experience,) lactation counselor, and exclusive pumper for my surrogate babe... I agree with all of these!

Yahtzee!!!  :D 

 

I have more on actual "NICU Survival", but I usually wait to dole out that piece of helpful advice (accumulated from NICU parents past and present) until you're actually living in the NICU, since the experience is very different depending on baby's gestational age and how sick they are.  The milk production is something that I wish wish wish all our parents had access to before ending up in the NICU, as it sometimes gets missed.  Partners (or doulas) can start hand expression if birth mama is too sick or exhausted too.  I've also heard of partners sucking at the breast to stimulate, so you can try that depending on your comfort.  It does defeat the purpose of collecting colostrum.  ;)

 

Pumping is difficult, exhausting and time consuming, but worth it!  :) 


Me (29) and DW (32).  Taking a long break from TTC, back at it sometime in 2015/2016.  2 fur babies cat.gif cat.gif, Mustang and Anastasia.
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Old 10-15-2012, 05:04 AM
 
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Hi all. Bad morning woke up to cramps and some bright red spotting. Think this is not good. Ay chance this is normal? I know brown spotting is usually okay but not bright red. TMI warning, put my ,finger inside and there was more blood. This is bad bad news right? Any good thoughts appreciated.

Me (39)  and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old.  TTC# 2 via KD  

 

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Old 10-15-2012, 06:13 AM
 
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Cordelia, many of us have had healthy pregnancies that included bright red blood. If you have a doctor or midwife, they can peek and see what's causing the bleeding. There are many possible causes, not all terrible, but worth knowing about.  Good luck.


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Old 10-15-2012, 07:00 AM
 
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Cordelia, many of us have had healthy pregnancies that included bright red blood. If you have a doctor or midwife, they can peek and see what's causing the bleeding. There are many possible causes, not all terrible, but worth knowing about.  Good luck.

Thanks seraf, I know for other people I would jump to the "you don't know until you know " thing but for myself it is so hard! Waiting for my Dr to open so I can call. Thanks for the well wishes and hope!

Me (39)  and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old.  TTC# 2 via KD  

 

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Old 10-15-2012, 07:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Cordelia -- i know you must be freaking out right now.  i just wanted to send some hug2.gif and positive vibes your way.    


Ex-pat gal (40y.o.) in France and her Froggy wife (42y.o.).  Expecting a little (brussel) "sprout"  in Dec 2012 after a year of at-home inseminations and three medicated IUIs in Belgium.  

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Old 10-15-2012, 07:36 AM
 
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Cordelia--the early pregnancy packet our RE sent us gives statistics on bleeding during pregnancy and an astonishing percentage of women who go on to have healthy pregnancies bleed at some point during pregnancy.  Hope those stat's are in your favor--HUGS to you.


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Old 10-15-2012, 07:48 AM
 
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Yeah, I'm sorry you're bleeding.  Sara had bleeding because she had an overgrowth of bacteria. I had bleeding because ? At first it was called a threatened miscarriage, but now I suspect it was that my placenta implanted too low and it had to move as the baby grew. I bled 3 times with my first pregnancy, the third being the worse. Several girls had a little pocket of blood between the placenta and uterus. I hope your blood reason is not the big bad one.


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Old 10-15-2012, 08:22 AM
 
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Just sending some love to Cordelia, and hoping that you get some good answers. We'll be thinking of you.
 


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(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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Old 10-15-2012, 08:25 AM
 
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Cordelia: Sending lots of good thoughts your way.  There are lots of things that could cause bright red bleeding other than the big bad kind.  I know lots of women who've had bleeding throughout pregnancy and had healthy babies.  Here's hoping yours is benign, too.  <3


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Old 10-15-2012, 08:50 AM
 
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Thinking of you, Cordelia. It is much more likely to be nothing than something, but I am sure it is scary as hell. Let's us know when you get some answers, and best wishes to you.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:17 AM
 
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Thanks everyone! I am actually crying as I read your sweet responses. Going to the Dr at four so hoping for some good news or at least to know either way. Cramps are getting stronger though. At least DH stayed home with me today which is wonderffttul.

Me (39)  and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old.  TTC# 2 via KD  

 

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Old 10-15-2012, 10:25 AM
 
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Cordelia- I am thread-crashing for now to tell you how much I am thinking of you! Sending good vibes your way for sure.

 

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Old 10-15-2012, 11:09 AM
 
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cordelia - I am also sending good vibes your way for a sticky babe.  What everyone else said is true.  I understand being frightened though.  I hope everything is just fine.  hug2.gif




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Old 10-15-2012, 05:29 PM
 
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seraf - I have not technically been assigned any specific forums to mod so I am kind of floating around, but I'm not worried about you. All you queer folks are lovely, civil people.  winky.gif




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Old 10-15-2012, 07:09 PM
 
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Hi all! Popping on for an update. Saw my doc today and good news is I am not currently having a MC but she did say that my sac did not look great so to try to rest and not lift things which is hard advice to a SAHM of a toddler. Also she said that there were TWO babies in there, which also could change since I am so early still. So did a bunch of blood work and will see what that says tomorrow. Right now fingers crossed and trying to drink lots of water.

Me (39)  and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old.  TTC# 2 via KD  

 

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Old 10-15-2012, 07:28 PM
 
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Cordelia, glad you got good news. Try to take it easy and relax (so much easier said than done, I know, especially with a little one). FWIW, my best friend had massive bleeding in her first trimester, was told that there was a 50-75% chance of miscarriage, and is holding her healthy baby as we speak.

Also, more twins?!? You weren't even using drugs, were you? Wow, this place is contagious!

I'll be thinking lots of good thoughts for you.

A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

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(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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Old 10-15-2012, 07:31 PM
 
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What a giant sigh of relief! I have been thinking about you all day, so glad everything is alright. And twins?! Oh goodness, I am scared to find out now; seems like a requirement around here! Get some rest, and happy baby thoughts.
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Old 10-15-2012, 07:51 PM
 
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Cordelia: I'm glad to hear that things are okay, even if they are tentative.  Fingers crossed for those two little sticky babies!


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Old 10-15-2012, 08:11 PM
 
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Cordelia--fingers crossed for sticky babies, and as the SAHM of a 2.5 year old--good luck with taking it easy and not lifting anything (or anyone!) heavy!  Have you broken the television seal with Kipper (totally benign British cartoon about a dog and his friends) or something yet?  That may buy you some quiet rest if it's something that works for your family.

 

And E2W--Don't worry too much--queer folk get pregnant one at a time too--I have a singleton toddler to prove it!  But, since we hope for 2-3 kiddos, 2 at a time would certainly have been more efficient!  


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Old 10-15-2012, 09:38 PM
 
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Cordelia. Wow! I'm glad to hear all is well for now. One of my strangest tips for avoiding lifting a toddler is to kneel and have them step up into my knee. It works well for water fountains.

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Old 10-15-2012, 10:23 PM
 
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cordelia - That's great and exciting news!  I'm so glad you and the babies are ok.  Sending healthy sticky vibes your way!  Take care.




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Old 10-16-2012, 06:09 AM
 
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Nos--glad to "hear" your voice up thread a bit.  How are you doing?  

 

AFM--DS, 2.5, fell out of his bed last night for the first time.  There was much weeping and gnashing--and a conundrum b/c we would happily stay to comfort him (offered to lay with him, to lay on the floor next to his bed, to rub his back, etc) but our continuing presence after the initial check in clearly made it worse for him.  He kept trying to tell us to go away but then would call for us moments later.  He is just a kid who needs his space to pull himself together--which, as we sat downstairs listening to him cry, is actually really hard to give him/figure out.  It's been challenging lately b/c his cognitive/social abilities are amazing but his verbal skills are not up to the level of being able to say what he needs/what's going on (we have a speech evaluation coming up in a couple of weeks).  Otherwise, DW got to hear the gummi bear's heartbeat with a doppler at work yesterday (just for 3 seconds or so).  Her intake at the midwife is next week and there won't be any u/s or doppler at the appt and we were (me, really) anxious about it.  So, the little bear is still in there!  I keep wanting to jump through this pregnancy to the other side where I get to actually parent the little.  I'm the SAHM in our family and one of the things that is proving to be an issue for me is bottle feeding in public.  We don't plan to have me relactate...but I nursed DS up until maybe a month and a half ago (mostly self weaned at that point) and I never gave him a bottle (he would reluctantly take one when I was working part time his first year).  It just seems so ODD to give a baby a bottle, ykwim?  Especially with all of the emotional energy around the issue of nursing/bottle feeding (the next one will get expressed breast milk when DW goes back to work).  


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Old 10-16-2012, 08:54 AM
 
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Wishin, sorry about the fall from bed. A just moved from a loft bed (with rails) to a normal sized bed and she falls out at least once a night. She just wakes up on the floor and gets back in bed.

I understand where you are with the bottles, kind of like you're wearing a sign in opposition of everything you're working hard for. Back when I nannied, I realized how much easier nursing is. I had 2 one year olds and a newborn but it uses both hands to feed a baby a bottle versus hands free nursing. We use glass bottles. When Sara was pregnant and had to deal with bottles out and about, the hippies still recognized us.

The boys are sick AGAIN. Shay spiked a fever last night, peed in every diaper I had stashed by the bed and nursed all night long. At some point I had to go in search of diapers but I was afraid to turn on a light lest I wake the barely sleeping boys. So Shay wore a couple of T-shirts as diapers and I am running 3 loads of diaper laundry this morning (I'm at the tail end of my big week to work). Oops.

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Old 10-16-2012, 09:16 AM
 
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Wishin, as someone who endured huge breastfeeding trials (I could write a novel), I eventually had to make my peace with bottle feeding in public. Because I had supply issues (I had a breast reduction when I was 21), breastfeeding was not easier for me than bottle feeding- it involved a contraption with a bag of donor milk or formula that hung around my neck, a tube that had to be taped to my nipple in just the right way, and it would take my DD over an hour just to eat four ounces, with a lot of popping off, crying, and readjusting of equipment along the way. Trying to do this in public was, literally, a nightmare. (This is not to discourage anyone who wants to supplement exclusively at the breast- lots of people do it and it's fine- it just wasn't for me.) Anyway, I felt really self-conscious at first about bottle feeding, and every time I saw a nursing mother I felt like I had to explain why I wasn't nursing as well. The truth is though, no one cared. You can always do what I did, which was say very loudly to whomever I was talking to in the middle of the cafe, "Okay, time to give O some EXPRESSED BREASTMILK now!", but most people will just think you're nuts.:)

 

On a side note, I am super freaked about the idea of breastfeeding twins. Just trying to breastfeed one was such an emotional rollercoaster that only now, four years later, can I think back on it without crying. I felt ready to try again with one. Two scares the living daylights out of me.
 

Cordelia, hope you're feeling okay today. Thinking of you.


A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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