any bisexual mothers? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 07-24-2012, 02:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thirty four year old bisexual mother here of a wild but great little boy..he is two years old...i am married and stay at home for now..until i find the right j-o-b...any mothers out there in the chicagoland area?  

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#2 of 11 Old 07-24-2012, 02:31 PM
 
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Welcome to Mothering, dominicksmommy. Check out our Finding Your Tribe forums for Illinois. Are you in Illinois? I'm originally from Kenosha; went to college in Milwaukee. So, I know Chicagoland is an area that could mean several states. Hope this helps.

 

Also, Wisconsin and Indiana, just in case. smile.gif

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#3 of 11 Old 07-24-2012, 04:18 PM
 
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hi! there are a number of variously queer parents in and around chicago. Feel free to come over to queer and pregnant and parenting--i think we mostly hang out there, though some are on the conceptions board, too. We get together fairly frequently, when we can. smile.gif

She's here! joy.gif
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#4 of 11 Old 07-26-2012, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thank u so much! yes i live in the northwest suburbs of chicago...
 

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#5 of 11 Old 07-26-2012, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you!  that sounds great...i will def check it out...dana

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#6 of 11 Old 10-11-2012, 05:02 AM
 
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i live in the rural south (oh joy) but i love to see a community where there are fellow bi moms.

i often question how and when this will come up with my kids. most of my family doesn't know but since i am married to a man it doesn't come up.

one thing that freaked me out was recently some teens in town asked my spouse if i was gay?!? just from seeing me walk around! i can't think of why except that i recently cut my hair super short. scared me though because i know this is NOT a queer friendly area. I would love to hear other moms advice on that.

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#7 of 11 Old 10-12-2012, 06:22 AM
 
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I live in Dallas currently, but we're hoping to move back to Oregon as soon as finances allow.
I identify as a queer/bisexual woman mainly attracted to other women...and married to a male. I feel very excluded from most queer communities because I'm in a "heterosexual relationship". Does anyone else have this problem?

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#8 of 11 Old 10-12-2012, 07:37 AM
 
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I have a couple of friends who are queer/bi but ended up with men. They do seem to feel left out of the community, and that people think poorly of them or something. In both cases I think it's been self-segregation on their parts, though when they do make it out to queer dinner parties and such they have to go ahead and explain that they're not straight if someone makes a dumb comment. But considering that I spend so much time explaining that I'm not straight because everyone assumes I am, I think that's just part of being social. One of my friends keeps saying she wants to come to our queer mom outings without her husband so she can fit in better, but I love him and I think everyone would happily accept him as part of the group. Just rambling.

She's here! joy.gif
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#9 of 11 Old 10-12-2012, 08:38 AM
 
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YES! I am really afraid of joining a LGBT group in my area because I feel they will judge me for being with a man even though I much more identify with being a lesbian. I fear they will think I'm lying I guess. I would love to be more included in that community though. Maybe I should at least try.

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#10 of 11 Old 10-12-2012, 09:15 AM
 
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It's very wrong for lesbians to act like a bi woman who is married to a man is "hiding" or lying to herself --- unless, of course, she IS hiding by having secret affairs with women without being in an open relationship. But assuming she's not, I equate this to the situation where people see a man with certain mannerisms and say that he's gay and in denial, even though he says he's straight. It's not for any of us to say what someone else's sexuality is, no matter what they look like. Same deal with bi women and lesbians. Lesbians have no right to say what a bi woman's "real" feelings are. The thing is, many lesbians (especially those old enough to be adults in the 80s) know women who were only/mainly attracted to women but married men purely to conform to social norms. And THAT really ticks lesbians off, because lesbians are sacrificing social acceptance to be who they are. So, as long as a bi woman is being up front about who she is, lesbians should be totally accepting, and bi women have the right to demand that they be. There may be more bi or non-labeled women in the lesbian community than you think, even if they don't speak up, or if they refer to themselves as lesbians for simplicity's sake. Announcing you're bi is like announcing your minority religion -- people expect you to explain yourself, and you don't always want to, because it's private. But they may be very sympathetic.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#11 of 11 Old 10-12-2012, 11:51 AM
 
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Laura, I'd give it a shot--you might find that Outdoorsy's right--people who are using 'lesbian' because it's easier than going through the whole explanation (hi!) will totally understand. Anyone who doesn't is hypocritical if they think they have a right to judge who you are attracted to. But honestly, even when my bi friends had to correct people, they weren't the ones who were embarrassed. Hopefully you'll find some friends who can understand where you're at!

She's here! joy.gif
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