Queer Conceptions--September 2012 - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-15-2012, 09:52 AM
 
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Sorry you were disappointed again.  You'll get there.  Go do something nice for yourselves.  hug2.gif




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Old 09-15-2012, 11:09 AM
 
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easttowest (i should start calling you e2w) sorry to hear that. :( 


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Old 09-15-2012, 11:52 AM
 
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Thanks, pokey and mrs. I think it was a super hard blow because we weren't expecting to know one way or the other until at least tomorrow, but she woke me up, telling me she had gotten her period. Just seems early, and of course we were upset and maybe got a little too caught up in symptom spotting. And we are going back east for her grandfather's 85th birthday in early November, so this was the last month it could work for us to tell her family then. We really wanted to be able to. Ugh. Well, we will do something fun today... Joking about getting a kitten each time AF shows up, but we don't really need 18 kittens...
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Old 09-15-2012, 01:47 PM
 
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Well i definately feel the bitchiness and irritability coming on(so sorry for DP lol)...AF is closer than I think! Sooo ready!


Meehrainbow1284.gif (25) and DPrainbow1284.gif (35) Started TTC DS/DD #1Jan12 IUI #1 2/12-BFN, IUI #2 Oct12-BFN. IUI#3-BFN Mar13-BFFN, Jan14- ???--Giving it a go at home this time with KD and fresh swimmersribbonrainbow.gif 

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Old 09-15-2012, 03:41 PM
 
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easttowest: i'm so sorry -- that totally sucks. i'm feeling for you guys. 

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Old 09-15-2012, 05:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by easttowest View Post

Does anyone have any pregnancy safe treatments for a sore throat and runny nose? My wife has a terrible cold, but until we know she's not pregnant, she doesn't want to take NyQuil or the like. Well, she really wants to, but she's not going to. Salt water seems to help temporarily, but not enough to help her sleep.

 

Try a neti pot! And fresh lemon, honey, ginger tea for the throat :)


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Old 09-15-2012, 06:07 PM
 
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easttowest. . so sorry.  I was really rooting for you and DW, made me so sad when I saw your update.  I guess you just have to trust that the right baby is waiting for you out there though I know that doesn't help in the meantime. . only plus side is you did not get all the sadness from testing too. . I am going to try to learn from that. .still feels so close to home since we are so much in the same situation.  I hope next month is your magic month. . 


Me (39)  and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old.  TTC# 2 via KD  

 

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Old 09-15-2012, 10:07 PM
 
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Emerging from the shadows.

 

A quick hello and welcome to anyone I haven't a the opportunity to "meet" yet.

 

First: Congratulations Tandy  on your two dark lines. How exciting!!! What a wonderful and surreal feeling!!! lil bean stick, ya hear!!!!! jumpers.gifjumpers.gifjumpers.gifjumpers.gifjumpers.gifjumpers.gifjumpers.gif

 

Lisedea: I have been following your process for over a year and I'm so excited for your BFP too. Like many folks here, you have walked through hell and high water to get here, and you two must be so proud - and maybe still a lil in shock. Thank you giving so much to this blog and specifically to my process as I continue on this journey. Your insight and wisdom has been so appreciated! YaY!!!!!joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif

 

JustanotherJenny: glad to hear that your sx are less than last cycles.

 

Sandiego: I like MrsandMrs advice on how often to do acupuncture.

 

Pokey: It sounds like you have a good relationship with your RE. Good luck starting Femara today.

 

Easttowest: sorry to hear about AF. It is always startling and tragic. I wish you guys alot of TLC over the next few days. 


Me (37) married my lovely DW (33) May 2010 stillheart.gif  ttc #1 since September 2010. 3 years of ttc has been tough. Currently struggling with some ovulatory issues (follies don't grow quickly - trouble releasing) At a cross roads: go strong on meds or begin to turn over babymaking to DW. This is very...
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Old 09-15-2012, 10:21 PM
 
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easttowest:hug2.gif so sorry for AF.


Me36), PCOS -  IUI#1 post HSG w/50mg clomid & trigger 7/25/12: BFN  & med break for cyst IUI#2  9-9-12 BFN IUI#3 10-2013 BFN  IUI#4  2-18-13 same meds, new donor BFN, IUI#5 6/1/13 100mg clomid trigger, BFN,  IUI#6 TBD 8-2013 GONAL-F and trigger blogging.jpgdog2.gifcat.gifcat.gif

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Old 09-15-2012, 11:55 PM
 
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Tandy, congrats On your BFP!!!!

E2W: sorry about AF. How disappointing. greensad.gif

Pokey, good luck with your femera!!!

AFU: so I'm not really sure what to do with my name on the list anymore. We're now on a break indefinitely. DW is just trying to get through this term (lots of challenging math classes) and won't even talk about TTC anymore. My brain has me subconsciously eating fertility foods (I'm suddenly craving spinach and figs. And kale. And chard. And avocado.). I'm trying to just get on with my life, deciding if I want to try a different area of nursing (maybe LDR?), if I want to do my masters, etc. We're starting to make travel plans (FIL is going to be in Italy next summer and wants us to come join, DW has never been to Europe!), it's a slow movement forward and lacking any TTC plans. It's hard to let it go for the moment, but timing is not working out... Ugh!!! The idea of continuing on without a baby ATM is not happy. But I'm trying hard to enjoy the moment and this time... Maybe that's my lesson out of all of this? We'll start it up again when DW is either finished school or in another position to try again.

Anyways, good luck for all the TWW and ice cream to all the AFs/BFNs!!

I can't remember who asked about coping during the shitty parts of TTC, we got through by not making TTC the centre of our world. We kept doing other things, kept up our lives. TTC became something we did as apart of our lives, instead of focusing everything on it. We were at it for just under a year, and then had to stop. It kept me relatively sane and able to keep going when the BFNs kept coming. Being active, being outside, NOT focusing on babies (work excluded).

Me (29) and DW (32).  Taking a long break from TTC, back at it sometime in 2015/2016.  2 fur babies cat.gif cat.gif, Mustang and Anastasia.
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Old 09-16-2012, 08:11 AM
 
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easttowest, I am so sorry. Be good to yourselves. When I was TTC my daughter, I remember a lot of those milestones passing. ("If I get pregnant now, I can tell everyone at Christmas", etc.) When I first started, I had this whole three year plan worked out that had my life scheduled down to the month, and included things like "March: submit final dissertation chapter. April: Defend dissertation. May: Have baby." Not surprisingly, pretty much nothing on that plan happened when I scheduled it to, but in the end, I got a baby and a PhD, though both took a bit longer than anticipated. It's funny how now, looking back, none of the discrepancies in timing seem like such a big deal, but at the time, they felt painful and monumental. In any case, I hope that you have good news to share with your family soon, and that your TTC efforts don't result in a herd of kittens.

 

Pokey, I seriously have every part of my body crossed for you this cycle. Hoping that this is your month!

 

Darth, I'm so sorry that you guys are up in the air with TTC plans. I know that you've been at it for a long time, and it must be really frustrating and confusing to not know what the next steps are. Big hugs to you guys, with hope that peace and clarity are near.

 

Tandy, did I already say congratulations? I think so, but I'll say it again. Congrats! Such fabulous news.

 

Fingers crossed to everyone else who's waiting. Thinking of you all.
 


A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

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Old 09-16-2012, 06:22 PM
 
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I'm sending you a lot of hugs, EasttoWest. My opinion is to let yourself feel whatever it is you are feeling and try to not judge yourself for feeling that way. This process is so flippin' hard and you are very strong despite the difficulties. We're praying that next month is your month. hug2.gif

 

Darth- I am thinking of you too. I second what Knitting said about this probably being very frustrating for you since it is so up in the air. Do you think DW would be wiling to make a five year plan with you? Is there anything you can do in the meantime that will help you feel productive? That's been so key for me in all of this.

 

Fmorris- Embrace your bitchiness! lol :) It definitely means good things are to come. 


DW (39) and I (32) have been married since October 2010. We have been kitty mommies to Georgio cat.gif and Bella cat.gif for a while now, but we're now real mommies to one beautiful little girl babygirl.gif, Olivia Grace, born 11/19/13 at 5:56am.
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Old 09-17-2012, 06:26 AM
 
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BFN. I used a FR hpt, and it's 14 DPO, so the odds of a miraculous turnaround are minimal. I'll let you know when AF arrives.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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Old 09-17-2012, 07:01 AM
 
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Oh Outdoorsy, I'm so sorry.:(
 


A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

Building queer family since 2008!

(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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Old 09-17-2012, 07:59 AM
 
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outdoorsy:  What the !@#$ !  I'm so sorry.  I was convinced this was it!  I'm so sorry for your disappointment.  <3

 

darthtunaqueen:  I'm sorry things are so up in the air right now.  I wish I could offer some good advice, but having never been in this situation, I can't even imagine.  I suppose this is one of the good things about forging ahead on this journey without a partner.  I get to call all of the shots and I only have to worry by my feelings, and my dreams, and my goals, etc.  I hope the two of you can come up with a plan that works for everyone.  Just know, there is no perfect time.  <3


Me36), PCOS -  IUI#1 post HSG w/50mg clomid & trigger 7/25/12: BFN  & med break for cyst IUI#2  9-9-12 BFN IUI#3 10-2013 BFN  IUI#4  2-18-13 same meds, new donor BFN, IUI#5 6/1/13 100mg clomid trigger, BFN,  IUI#6 TBD 8-2013 GONAL-F and trigger blogging.jpgdog2.gifcat.gifcat.gif

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Old 09-17-2012, 08:23 AM
 
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Easttowest, I'm so sorry about AF. Looks like we are both in it again.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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Old 09-17-2012, 10:05 AM
 
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So sorry to you, too, outdoorsy. We will all get there.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:23 PM
 
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Outdoorsy: I'm so sorry for AF.  :(

 

Jenny: yes, there are definitely perks to doing this solo.  I was FULLY PREPARED to do this solo at some point (late 20's) if I hadn't met someone I wanted to be with and someone I wanted to parent with.  If any of my friends should choose to be SMBC, we will whole heartedly support them.  

 

Knitting: Thank you.  We are starting to clarify where we're headed next. 

 

Soto: Yes, I'm starting to make myself DO more interesting things so I don't become a boring person.  This has been very clarifying to realize that we have sacrificed *so* much to make this happen.  A question DW raised a couple weeks ago was "so, once our kids are in full time school, then what?  What do YOU want to do?" and I realized I didn't have a clue.  I hadn't actually thought about it in any great detail, since we were so focused on babybabybaby.  We spend more time focusing on us, on making our marriage better, which has been fun!  I think we lose our partners in the TTC mess that it sometimes becomes, and it's so gratifying to remember that this gorgeous woman I fell madly in love with, who put aside her own notions of what a relationship is supposed to be (she was straight until she met me), MARRIED ME to prove it, is someone I actually really really really enjoy spending copious amounts of time with.  This is a good thing!  If our lack of baby can make us love each other more, then I'll take it.


Me (29) and DW (32).  Taking a long break from TTC, back at it sometime in 2015/2016.  2 fur babies cat.gif cat.gif, Mustang and Anastasia.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:33 PM
 
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Darth - I haven't seen AF so far, thank god, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. I'm sorry to hear you're taking a break. It's good, though, that you are taking time for yourselves.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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Old 09-17-2012, 03:45 PM
 
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Outdoorsy: I am really, really sorry to hear about your BFN -- I, too, was convinced this was your month. It is imminent though, and keep heart. (And until AF arrives, I will keep my faith, btw...)

 

Lise:  I think I'm finally, cautiously, ready to move to graduates. 

 

I hope you guys won't be mad if I thread-crash on occasion smile.gif

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Old 09-17-2012, 04:48 PM
 
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sorry to the ladies in which this was not their month, but your month will come blowkiss.gif

 

looks like we'll be starting injectables soon using Menopur and Follistim, has anyone used these? Any success stories as well?


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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Old 09-17-2012, 04:56 PM
 
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Tandy, please do thread-crash, and thanks for your kind words. I was looking foward to the idea of being due date buddies because we probably live close enough to get lunch, but I'm glad someone as nice as you got a BFP. Bon voyage to QP&P!


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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Old 09-17-2012, 05:02 PM
 
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mrsandmrs - thanks for this info, we're going to continue with acupuncture winky.gif


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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Old 09-17-2012, 05:38 PM
 
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sorry to the ladies in which this was not their month, but your month will come blowkiss.gif

 

looks like we'll be starting injectables soon using Menopur and Follistim, has anyone used these? Any success stories as well?

 

*raises hand*  the product of a successful follistim cycle is currently doing somersaults in my belly and kicking the crap out of my internal organs.  it didn't work the first time around (despite my having something like 6 decent follicles), but the second time was the charm.....and that was after a year and a half of trying.   i call Follistim "liquid gold", and not just because it's wildly expensive.  the needles really aren't that bad, and the results are *definitely* worth it. good luck!


Ex-pat gal (40y.o.) in France and her Froggy wife (42y.o.).  Expecting a little (brussel) "sprout"  in Dec 2012 after a year of at-home inseminations and three medicated IUIs in Belgium.  

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Old 09-17-2012, 06:18 PM
 
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Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words of support. I'd say you have no idea how much they mean, but you probably do, as everyone has been on the receiving end at one point or another.  

 

The news was heartbreaking, but here we are on CD 3, and I feel like we're that much closer to success.  We're doing a few things differently this month, and I think it will really help.  First, we're getting a sperm sample checked out before we do the actual insemination.  It can't be a full analysis once it's in the buffer, but we'll at least get the reassurance that those swimmers have the capability of knocking DW up after traveling 3000 miles.  Second, she's only temping for the two-ish weeks necessary to determine that she ovulated.  She'll start once AF is gone, and as soon as she gets the spike, we're out.  No obsessing over what the numbers mean as we get closer to testing.  Plus it's not a daily reminder that we failed at this twice before.

 

It looks like we might have terrible timing yet again.  Such are the draw backs of doing this long-distance.  Based on past months, she'll probably ovulate on Monday or Tuesday (Oct. 1 or 2) - and of course we can't receive a package on Sunday or Monday.  I think we'll chalk up the money for two tries this month - one on Saturday for insurance and one on Tuesday (unless she ovulated on something crazy, like Saturday or Sunday).  It really sucks to know we'll be spending twice the money for two times that might totally miss it, since Saturday might be too early, and Tuesday might be too late, but it's the best we can do, and hopefully she'll ovulate on Tuesday, and we'll hit it exactly.  I'm also trying to remind myself that I have read so many stories on here of people who got pregnant exactly the month they thought they got the timing all wrong.

 

Question: We now have four months of charts, and DW has always had a luteal phase in the 11-13 day range.  That's low, right?  Is that a problem?  She's going to acupuncture, but she's never specifically mentioned her luteal phase, so maybe she will next time.  Is there anything else she can do?

 

Second question: What's up with a positive OPK not followed by a spike?  She always gets a positive and then a spike 4-5 days later.  Which day is she ovulating?  We always just assume the day after the positive OPK and figure she has a delayed rise.  If we were straight, we'd just keep trying until the spike, but we don't have that luxury, and obviously we don't want to miss it.  What gives?

 

Thanks again for the support and advice.  Two months is nothing in the grand scheme, and we went through the adoption process for long enough to know that once that baby is here, all the sadness will disappear.  Just hard to put in perspective sometimes.  Happy New Year to everyone celebrating, and hopefully this year is sweet to us all. 

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Old 09-17-2012, 07:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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easttowest: I don't think I would worry so much about 11-13 being too low...but does it fluctuate every month? Cycle lengths vary because of ovulating at different times but the LP should be pretty consistent. Mine is pretty much always 13 days except for an occasional cycle when AF arrived earlier in the day (before 3:00) so I counted that day as 'offically' CD1 instead of the following one.

I wish I had an answer to your second question...but I really don't know. I would just keep temping for several months and look for those three high temps that show that she definitely ovulated. I wonder if it is possible to O that long after a surge? Does she continue to take OPKs after it becomes positive? I would be interested in whether or not she has lots of positives in a row...some people surge longer or it takes a bit to get their body geared up for it.

Have you thought about going to a FS or RE just for basic bloodwork to make sure everything is hormonally normal? I ended up doing it after a year's worth of at home insems and wished I had done it sooner since I had a few issues. I didn't plan on getting IUIs in the clinic at first--just wanted to check on everything and they were very willing to do so.

M (30), D (30)  TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! bigeyes.gif Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!

 

Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.

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Old 09-17-2012, 09:32 PM
 
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Just doing a quick drive-by post.

 

Outdoorsy, I'm so bummed to hear this wasn't your month. Are you going directly into your next cycle? I hope that's the one for you! 

 

e2w - I think if the LP is less than 10 days, it is a problem bc the embryo wouldnt have time to implant, but most docs will consider 11-13 to be adequate. But if her prog. is low, that would show up in a blood test and you could take supplemental prog. Does she stop taking OPK's when she gets her first + one, or does she know how long her surge lasts? that would help with pinpointing O. Sometimes if you keep testing, you will see + OPKs can span time. Since you're using fresh sperm (i think), your timing doesn't have to be quite as precise as with frozen because it lives longer. 

 

SanDiego - I have never used follistim before but I'm using it on my next cycle.... whenever my cyst shrinks, that's when we'll start. I have a good feeling about it -- perhaps because nosreves speaks so highly of it :D 


heartbeat.gif rainbow1284.gif wife (31) + wife (37) rainbow1284.gif heartbeat.gif & our three sons  bikenew.gifbabyf.gifbabyf.gif
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Old 09-17-2012, 11:47 PM
 
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Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words of support. I'd say you have no idea how much they mean, but you probably do, as everyone has been on the receiving end at one point or another.  

 

The news was heartbreaking, but here we are on CD 3, and I feel like we're that much closer to success.  We're doing a few things differently this month, and I think it will really help.  First, we're getting a sperm sample checked out before we do the actual insemination.  It can't be a full analysis once it's in the buffer, but we'll at least get the reassurance that those swimmers have the capability of knocking DW up after traveling 3000 miles.  Second, she's only temping for the two-ish weeks necessary to determine that she ovulated.  She'll start once AF is gone, and as soon as she gets the spike, we're out.  No obsessing over what the numbers mean as we get closer to testing.  Plus it's not a daily reminder that we failed at this twice before.

 

It looks like we might have terrible timing yet again.  Such are the draw backs of doing this long-distance.  Based on past months, she'll probably ovulate on Monday or Tuesday (Oct. 1 or 2) - and of course we can't receive a package on Sunday or Monday.  I think we'll chalk up the money for two tries this month - one on Saturday for insurance and one on Tuesday (unless she ovulated on something crazy, like Saturday or Sunday).  It really sucks to know we'll be spending twice the money for two times that might totally miss it, since Saturday might be too early, and Tuesday might be too late, but it's the best we can do, and hopefully she'll ovulate on Tuesday, and we'll hit it exactly.  I'm also trying to remind myself that I have read so many stories on here of people who got pregnant exactly the month they thought they got the timing all wrong.

 

Question: We now have four months of charts, and DW has always had a luteal phase in the 11-13 day range.  That's low, right?  Is that a problem?  She's going to acupuncture, but she's never specifically mentioned her luteal phase, so maybe she will next time.  Is there anything else she can do?

 

Second question: What's up with a positive OPK not followed by a spike?  She always gets a positive and then a spike 4-5 days later.  Which day is she ovulating?  We always just assume the day after the positive OPK and figure she has a delayed rise.  If we were straight, we'd just keep trying until the spike, but we don't have that luxury, and obviously we don't want to miss it.  What gives?

 

Thanks again for the support and advice.  Two months is nothing in the grand scheme, and we went through the adoption process for long enough to know that once that baby is here, all the sadness will disappear.  Just hard to put in perspective sometimes.  Happy New Year to everyone celebrating, and hopefully this year is sweet to us all. 


Sorry this last try wasn't the one :( I would also suggest going for some basic blood work to check things out. I don't think 11-13 days is too short..but it could be improved. If your DW is going for acupuncture for fertility she should absolutely be talking about her luteal phase! How often does she go? Weekly is optimal if you can swing it. If not, bi-weekly or based on certain times in your cycle would be best.

 

I'm not sure about the rise 4-5 days after a positive opk. I can't remember - what kind of opks are you using? Digital? Are you 100% sure the opk is positive? Sometimes it can be hard to tell with the 2 lines ones. For the 4 months you've charted has O always happened 4-5 days after O? It *might* just be normal for her.


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Old 09-18-2012, 04:32 AM
 
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Easttowest. I have the same question about opks if they are line or digitals. On the line ones I get a line reading for three days until it is as dark as control line sonthe first two days are not considered positive. For temp spike I have heard it can take up to 48 hours to register progesterone but should not take longer than that. So my best, unmedical, guess would be she is ovulating later than you think but again I don't know.

We are doing the two insems this month too. If you save your kits and ship them back to your kd there are a few places that will sell you just the TYB so you can save a bunch of money. I know the place you are ordering from does that and babydustdelivery sells a four pack of just the buffer too.

11-13 is fine for a luteal phase ...longer is generally better but I think it is 10 and under where you have concerns. But if she is ovulating 2-3 days after you think it could be worth checking out.

Anyway those are my marginally informed thoughts if the morning.

Me (39)  and DH (FTM 40) and DS 17 months old.  TTC# 2 via KD  

 

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Old 09-18-2012, 09:01 AM
 
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Thanks for all the input! She's been using both digital and line. The digital gives just one positive, as that is what is designed to do, and the line will generally be just as dark the second day. I've heard it's normal for younger women to have a long surge, but that ovulation should happen within 36 hours of that first positive. I guess we will figure she's on the later side and try insemination 24 hours after the first positive. Our fresh sperm should live longer than her egg anyway. I'd love to get her hormones checked out, but she is on student insurance, and we figure we would be laughed out of the room if we tell them she's 26 and we've tried for two months. I get that it should probably just happen, but it costs us money every time we try, so it's frustrating to be treated like straight people who can just try for a year before figuring something might be wrong.
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