Queer Conceptions - October 2012 - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
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#181 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 09:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Erin, she is going tomorrow, too. Though I really have no idea how this works! She doesn't have an RE or anything, and she is a student, so the health center just has walk-in pregnancy tests (and I assume is mostly dealing with unplanned pregnancies). I don't know if she will be able to get her levels checked every few days or what, but she will at least get the ball rolling tomorrow. Good luck! Can't wait to hear your levels!

Outdoorsy, I totally understand. Follow whatever your gut tells you to do. I rationalized testing at 9 DPO because I knew it would be negative, and I thought we should get used to seeing that. Good luck in whatever you choose, and I hope the next week flies by for you.

C (26) and S (27) and our little N, born June 18, 2013
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#182 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 09:34 AM
 
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easttowest, are you going to pick out an OB soon? Have you guys narrowed it down? That

is a really exciting process! I honestly don't know if they will just tell me I am confirmed

pregnant or if they will give me a number...

 

Anybody know if I should ask specifically or if that is included in the test?

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#183 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 09:35 AM
 
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Hi, can I ask a question to you ladies in here -Are you using an anonymous sperm donor or a known donor to get pregnant? and why is that the better choice for you?


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#184 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 09:50 AM
 
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easttowest, if she's just going to the student health clinic, be prepared for the possibility that they won't do betas, just a urine test. That's what happened to me with my first pregnancy. I actually never ended up getting betas for that one, because my student health clinic didn't do them, and by the time I got to the midwife's office, it was weeks later. If her insurance covers lab work and she has a sympathetic doctor, she can ask the doc at the clinic to write her a lab order for a test to check HCG levels, with a repeat two days later. Some docs will do it, though mine didn't. If the beta is important to you, she should be prepared to be a self-advocate (which is, in any case, a skill that you'll need in spades throughout pregnancy and the queer parenting that follows!). Good luck!


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#185 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 09:51 AM
 
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erin, were you working with an RE? I can't remember. If so, they'll test everything. If you're going to your regular doctor, see my advice to easttowest above.


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#186 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 11:12 AM
 
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KnittingTigers- I am going to an OB, but I just asked my insider that
works there and she said it is quantitative with beta numbers!

I would feel odd posting back on here without betas just cause
everyone else does!
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#187 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 11:13 AM
 
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erin - Congratulations!  joy.gifenergy.gifbiggrinbounce.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifcarrot.gifbiggrinbounce.gifenergy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifenergy.gifbiggrinbounce.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifcarrot.gifbiggrinbounce.gifenergy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifenergy.gifbiggrinbounce.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifcarrot.gifbiggrinbounce.gifenergy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifenergy.gifbiggrinbounce.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifcarrot.gifbiggrinbounce.gifenergy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifenergy.gifbiggrinbounce.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifcarrot.gifbiggrinbounce.gifenergy.gifjoy.gif

 

 

AFM- Y'all crack me up with your early and repeat testing.  I never tested at all until the 6th try.  We just waited for AF.  When I bring up testing, it makes my wife nervous.  I finally convinced her we needed to do it because I was on progesterone and I thought it would delay AF.  Anyway, no beta today ladies.  Sorry!  I went to the lab at 7am, and they didn't have an order for the test in the system.  I thought I had a standing order, but I guess not.  I called the nurses to ask them to put it back in the system so I can go after work.  I won't hear until tomorrow.  Maybe I should POAS again...

 

e2w - The repeat betas are mainly used for those of us using medical intervention.  Regular folks don't usually do them.  Many women don't go to the doctor or midwife until 12 weeks.  But if it makes you and your wife feel a sense of ease, I'm sure you can find a way to get them done.  The TWW is bad, but there are more and more waits after it that are hard to take also.  Have you thought about giving your brother something special for helping your dream come true?  It's pretty awesome that your child will be genetically related to you.  My wife is an only child so that wasn't an option for us.

 

samy- We used an willing to be know donor from a bank.  We didn't know many men we could ask who would be willing to a known donor, and we did not feel comfortable finding a known donor through the websites, even though that can be a great option. We felt it was safer for us legally to go through a bank because those donors give up all legal rights when they donate.  The bank also does all of the sperm and genetic testing to make sure the sperm and the donor are healthy.




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#188 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Pokey, that's what I figured. Honestly, we don't need betas, but I can't imagine not going to the doctor until 12 weeks! Well, she will just go in tomorrow and see what she can get done. Tigers, you don't have to worry about her ability to be assertive!

Sorry for taking up queer conception space on more pregnancy related topics. We will definitely move along in the next few days if all goes well. Still thinking of everyone waiting on their BFPs! Can't wait to hear more good news.

C (26) and S (27) and our little N, born June 18, 2013
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#189 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 11:52 AM
 
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samy - sounds like my wife and i have a lot in common with pokey on this one. we also went with a "willing to be known" donor from a sperm bank. in our case, "willing to be known" means that our child could obtain contact information form the bank once they reach age 18. my wife and i have no rights or access to contact information, just our (future) child. this was very important to my wife because she was adopted, and her adoption records are completely sealed - she doesn't even have access to any family medical history information. back then (early 80s) open adoptions weren't nearly as popular as they are today. we have tried many avenues that might be available for identifying her biological parents, to no avail. we've basically accepted that if she does want to continue down this path some day, we'd need to hire a private investigator. she's not sure how much of a relationship she would have wanted with them, but she does wish that she'd had that choice.  

to be honest, we never really considered using a known donor. we were always on the same page about that not being the right choice for us. sure, having an anonymous/willing-to-be-known donor comes with its own complexities, but on a personal level we just always preferred that option over navigating a known donor relationship. i think that piece of the puzzle is something you just have to feel out for yourself and do what feels right.

 

afm - lots of discussion with dw about the early testing going on with this group. she is really against it because she doesn't want me to risk get conflicting results, but of course she'll support whatever i decide. right now i'm leaning towards testing on 10 dpiui (which is either 9 or 10 dpo), which would be sunday. after a couple good days, the waves of feeling like i could cry at any moment returned at the gym last night during my spin class - i think it's just stress with the uncertainty. i can't really focus at work either. i sort of half woke up last night with a funny twinge in the area of my uterus and was so convinced that any possible pregnancy had failed. i haven't been to yoga in over a year but i think i might need to go tonight!


My wife (30) and I (32) have been legally married since 2006. We are proud queer mamas to baby W, born 10/10/2013.
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#190 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 01:26 PM
 
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We are officially in the 2ww ! My wife and I are trying to conceive baby #3 using a known donor and shipped sperm with tyb from Alabama to Mass. My wife has always carried but due to endometriosis she lost a tube and we didnt see the need to spend $20,000 on ivf so i stepped up to the plate! Package arrived at 900 this morning wish us luck!
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#191 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 04:45 PM
 
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Good luck, SunandEr! And welcome! I hope your stay here in QC is short and sweet.

 

A question: For the past 7 months I've been taking an herbal supplement recommended by my naturopath, containing mostly vitex (chasteberry), and last night I found a bunch of online forums where folks say not to take it with clomiphene because the two "cancel each other out"... And I just took clomiphene last week, without stopping my daily dose of vitex (~450mg). I've emailed the naturopath, but haven't heard back... Have any of you heard anything about this? Is it possible that the herbs can really stop the clomid...? Or is the real moral of the story here that I should stop looking up baby-making topics on the internet late at night?


Queer and parenting kid #1, born November 2013 heartbeat.gif
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#192 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 05:39 PM
 
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Just stopping in to update, srry no time for personals, I feel absolutely lazy right now for some reason!! Well today is 8DPIUI and I'm still feeling increasingly tired. I woke up at 830 then went back to sleep until 12:20 and im to be at work at 2! lol Its been like that the last few days. This morning DP sprayed our apple cinnamon air freshener and as soon as I walked into the room I started gagging so uncontrollably. Last I checked I liked that smell...seeing as I bought it!  DP just about danced into the bathroom with meeh offering to hold mye hair, but nothing. Then it was gone just as quick as it came. Who knows?? Good luck to everyone waiting and going for procedures.


Meehrainbow1284.gif (25) and DPrainbow1284.gif (35) Started TTC DS/DD #1Jan12 IUI #1 2/12-BFN, IUI #2 Oct12-BFN. IUI#3-BFN Mar13-BFFN, Jan14- ???--Giving it a go at home this time with KD and fresh swimmersribbonrainbow.gif 

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#193 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 08:38 PM
 
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Welcome.gif sunander!  Good luck in the TWW!

 

 

AFM - I was able to get a rush beta done after work today and the results are, drumroll please, 363!  Whoa!  That's almost 6 times what it was Sunday morning.  So I'm calling it.  Could you please move me to graduates?  My plan is to stay there forever.  I'll still be hanging around here and cheering you all on.  Although, I don't know who will be left after the week we've had.  I'm sure we'll get lots of new fabulous members and lots more graduates!  Your support has meant so much to me these last several months.  You're awesome!




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#194 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 08:56 PM
 
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Yay, Pokey! Congrats... Happy graduation day!

Queer and parenting kid #1, born November 2013 heartbeat.gif
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#195 of 394 Old 10-11-2012, 09:05 PM
 
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can someone please move me to waiting to know....tww

 

very busy day....I plan to write more at work tomorrow, good night everyone!


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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#196 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 06:54 AM
 
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Granite: I've got my fingers crossed for you that your follies will get to just the right size.  As for your question RE: vitex.  I'm not sure about it interfering with clomid.  If anything, my mind wonders whether you'd have the opposite problem and be concerned with over stimulation.  I'm not sure though.  I had a very strange reaction with vitex and it caused SEVERE menstrual bleeding.  Turns out, it's what needed to happen, but I was dancing the line of dangerous levels of bleeding.  I'd be curious to know what you find out if you get more information.

 

SanDiego: Good luck!  Welcome to the 2ww -- I hope it's painless and short and sweet.  (HA!)

 

Pokey: GREAT NUMBERS!  I wonder if you're going to carry on the multiple legacy!  ;-)

 

SunandEr: Welcome! Good luck with your tww wait as well!

 

Samy: I have gone back and forth on using known donors vs. unknown donors.  I think in my heart of hearts I'd like to use a known donor, but right now I am using an anonymous frozen donor.  I simply happened upon this sperm from friends who don't want any more kids. (Which can start a whole other conversation about whether ethically that is the right thing to do due to bank limits for families using particular donors.  I do plan to report the pregnancy if I get lucky.)  In my mind, I felt somewhat better about it since I do have a connection with a bio half sibling.  I just used my last vial from that donor and am thinking about what I want to do next if this doesn't work out.  I am in talks with one person, an acquaintance, who may be willing to donate.  This is great in a lot of ways, but it makes me nervous.  In my state, even having a donor agreement really doesn't matter.  Though, I feel fairly confident that he and his wife have no ill intention and would relinquish parental rights once the baby was born.  The large numbers of siblings that often result from using sperm banks makes me uneasy.  I don't know.  For me, the sperm is a means to an end and really I wish I could ignore the whole thing.  

 

My best friend and I have been talking about the possibility of co-parenting and using a known donor makes her uncomfortable.  Particularly because I'm sort of intent on doing so --- like that the genetic component matters more to me than the person who is present and parenting the child. I can see that.  On the other hand, she can also see the value of using a known donor, but it makes her uneasy.  It's complicated.  I just want a baby!  I also don't want it to hate me later or feel like I was being selfish for not using a willing to be known or known donor.  Then again, the baby could grow up and not care at all.   ::Shrug::  I don't think this was helpful at all, but good luck figuring out what feels right for you.  For me, it changes from moment to moment.


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#197 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 08:08 AM
 
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hola.gifSunandER. Welcome! Tell us about yourself.

 

Congrats on the graduation, Pokey! 

 

granite - I have also heard anecdotally that clomid and vitex work against each other. I took vitex for a long time a couple years ago and I never really felt like it worked for me so I gave it up.If you google too much (which you are already doing!) you will find people who say they ovulated normally when taking both, and perhaps equal numbers of people who said they didn't ovulate. That's not very scientific, though. I think you have to wait and see what happens, and stop googling it for a week. I wonder what your naturopath will say about it. I hope you hear back soon. Good luck.

 

SanDiego, welcome to the TWW. 

 

Afm - 3dpiui. I feel great physically, but I can't say that these grey northwestern mornings are helping my attitude. 


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#198 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 08:32 AM
 
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Welcome, SunandEr!

 

Pokey -- Congrats on graduation! We'll miss you over here. Don't forget to check back!

 

Granite - I'm not big on herbals, but kept hearing about vitex, so I asked my midwife. She said the science isn't very clear on the canceling-out issue, but she recommended not mixing it with Clomid to be on the safe side.

 

AFM -- 9 DPO and status quo. Feeling totally normal, with no phantom "symptoms" whatsoever.


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#199 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 09:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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SanDiego - Good luck for the next two weeks!

 

pokey - A million congratulations!

 

mrsandmrs, outdoorsy, fmorris, Jenny, anyone else I'm missing... I hope the two weeks are treating you well and passing reasonably quickly!  We're all waiting for excellent news.

 

erin - Good luck with your tests!  Any symptoms yet?  I hope we'll both be meeting our babies in June!

 

afu - Still only 12 dpo, so still ridiculously early.  But those tests are still turning pink (we got the OPKs that comes with 10 HPTs, too, so we might as well use them up).  I'll feel better on Monday (and then enormously better if 10 weeks passes without incident), but right now, we're going with it.


C (26) and S (27) and our little N, born June 18, 2013
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#200 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 09:22 AM
 
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Thank you everyone !!!!

I'm happy we found such a welcoming forum and congrats to everyone who " graduated " ! We are brand new to forums so dont have all the cool abbreviations down but here goes.... We are a married couple from Plymouth MA together for 8 years married almost 5 with 2 kids who my wife carried with no problems. We decided last year to try for #3 with our known donor. Well after several tries we went to Boston IVF and onto Brigham and Womens were we found out after about $10,000 in test and IUI's that my wife needed surgery for stage 4 endometriosis and that she had a blocked tube. The doctor said it would be $20,000 for IVF if we wanted to continue. Now I have never ever been the maternal one in this relationship lol I'm very active like a 16 yr old boy lol I'm a Paramedic, a weekend Dj, I'm always busy in the camper, or trying to fix something in the boat, and I ride a vespa to work lol never in my life would I think of getting pregnant until I saw my wife that day in the office. So I decided to step up to the plate because I have no known medical/fertility problems , I'm 31 , and we have a great known donor . We did our first at home insem using shipped sperm and tyb from babydustdelivery.com yesterday 10/11/12 and so far dont know what to think. This is by far the craziest thing I have ever done ! I found this forum because I needed some info and certaintly not ready to talk to friends who will think I have lost my mind lol We plan on trying for up to 5 cycles and then if no luck I can at least say I tried but obviously we are hoping for the BFP (getting the lingo down lol)  Thanks everyone and we will e following right along side of all of you GOOD LUCK !!!!

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#201 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 10:06 AM
 
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Gosh, you go away for a week and come back and so many folks are pregnant, how exciting! 

 

Huge Congrats to Pokey, Erin, and Eastowest. So happy for all of you!!!! bouncy.gifbouncy.gifbouncy.gif

 

Welcome to SunandEr and good luck in the TWW. 

 

Good luck to everyone else in the TWW.

 

DW and I just spent 5 days camping in the desert...it was so amazing and good for us to get away for a bit. Hope you all don't mind if I share a couple photos, such a stunning place

DW going through the narrows

 

 

 

Love the red rock


Me (31) DW (28) 2 puppies and a baby on the way

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#202 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 10:16 AM
 
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outdoorsy - I will still be here.  I have to so I can be ready to give you a veggie parade when you get your BFP!  I wish I could take all the folks who have been on here a while with me. 

 

2justicemamas - beautiful photos!  Wow!

 

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#203 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 11:00 AM
 
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welcome sunander! it took me a few days to get the abbreviations, too. if you have any questions, just ask!

 

pokey - i may not have been here that long but i'm glad to hear you'll be stopping by for a while still!

 

afm - all of my "symptoms" are gone, which really were probably just stress since it was so early. 8 dpiui and since yesterday morning i've just felt normal. so, who knows! still thinking i might test on sunday. we'll see. 

 

good luck to everyone else waiting and congratulations to our graduates! is anyone else testing this week?


My wife (30) and I (32) have been legally married since 2006. We are proud queer mamas to baby W, born 10/10/2013.
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#204 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 12:49 PM
 
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I got my betas back!!!! 58 is that okay?! I am 12 DPO. I go back Tuesday for a repeat.

Easttowest: well??
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#205 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 12:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erinTNgirl View Post

I got my betas back!!!! 58 is that okay?! I am 12 DPO. I go back Tuesday for a repeat.
Easttowest: well??


Erin, that's awesome! Check out the betabase, which provides averages of beta scores by DPO:

http://www.betabase.info/

According to them, you're above average! Yay! Fingers crossed for numbers that keep rising!


A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!

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(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)

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#206 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 01:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay erin!!!  Those numbers look great.  Well?  Haha... well, no betas here.  They'll only do a pregnant or not pregnant test - still waiting for the results, but uh, we know she's pregnant.  But in order to schedule a first appointment, they want their own test to confirm pregnancy.  Sorry for the disappointment!  


C (26) and S (27) and our little N, born June 18, 2013
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#207 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 04:28 PM
 
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happy Friday everyone!

 

erin - this is sooo exciting!! congrats!

 

mrsandmrs - cycle buddies continue... we are close...we are right now 1dpiui...

 

jenny - thanks! we had our iui yestrday, hoping this is our lucky #3

 

fmorris - you're almost there! good luck!

 

outdoorsy - I will say shifting to injectables was another world... lots of follies..on Clomid it was very minimal for my wife.  As our of cd11 u/s this cycle, we had 2 dominant and a possible third.  good luck to you!

 

samy - we are using a anonymous but open donor, the child can reach out to donor at age 18

 

sunander - welcome to the tww!

 

pokey - awesome #s, so so so exciting!!

 

easttowest - almost there! good luck ;)

 

afm - my wife is experiencing very bad cramping today ;( due to the start of progesterone suppositories & iui yesterday...has anyone experienced this?


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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#208 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 08:45 PM
 
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I want so much to give well wishes to everyone who is having a productive week.i will be back with emoticon parades for e2w, Erin, and pokey. What a great streak!!!

I feel a little selfish that I can't be more in the celebratory mood w everyone else here. I'm sorry but I just have had such a crappy day. One of the crappiest in a while - which appear extra crappy next to all the great news occurring here. I had a repeat ultrasound today: my follies I guess have not grown past 7 cm from Tuesday which doesn't concern me too much bc I thought I been ovulating later like cd21 or so the past few months. Well my doc really questions whether I've been ovulating at all..this month I started clomid 50mg and it hasn't seemed to make a bit of difference yet with my follie growth. In addition, a polyp was confirmed today which is appears to be blocking the opening to one of the tubes..so it has to be removed surgically. That means I'm out of ttc process for this cycle and next cycle. To be honest, life just f^*king sucks today for me. I know it could be worse but pardon my woe is me moment - I'm 36 been trying at this s@&t for over two years and I feel like I've been more procedures and surgeries in this time then Ive had my whole life- snd i feel like i only have heartache to show for it. I know this may just be a dark place I'm in but Im starting to feel that the universe doesn't want me to bear children...this is so hard to admit outloud to myself let alone admit it here. It's such an incredibly lonely feeling - that makes me feel like I'm defective somehow and makes me feel pissed off at everything.

Sorry for this rant...it's just a bad day and I'm sure I will see things differently soon.

Me (37) married my lovely DW (33) May 2010 stillheart.gif  ttc #1 since September 2010. 3 years of ttc has been tough. Currently struggling with some ovulatory issues (follies don't grow quickly - trouble releasing) At a cross roads: go strong on meds or begin to turn over babymaking to DW. This is very...
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#209 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 08:57 PM
 
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Spinxy, What'd you decide on the early testing. tomorrow will be 10DPIUI and i can say i've been strong since then nd no POAS, but i dont know!! Good luck and FX for you! How are you feeling now??

 

SunandEr, Welcome! Good luck with the wait, I hope its short and sweet for you here!

 

E2W, How nice to keep seeing those sticks turn pink. Can't wait till I see that!!!

 

2justice, Those pics are gorgeous!!! Glad you had a good time with DW.

 

Sandiego, Almost!! I can say this has been quickly slow lol. I'm so tempted to test early with all the BFPs here!!


Meehrainbow1284.gif (25) and DPrainbow1284.gif (35) Started TTC DS/DD #1Jan12 IUI #1 2/12-BFN, IUI #2 Oct12-BFN. IUI#3-BFN Mar13-BFFN, Jan14- ???--Giving it a go at home this time with KD and fresh swimmersribbonrainbow.gif 

 chartnew.gif  www.fertilityfriend.com/home/fee2806

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#210 of 394 Old 10-12-2012, 09:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Invitnconceptn, I am so, so, so sorry to hear what you are going through and have been through. My heart goes out to you, and you are completely allowed to say that it f-ing sucks. I do hope it gets better for you. When we were waiting to adopt, people who just got babies would always tell those waiting that once you have your child in your arms, all the pain of the last several years melts away. It was impossible to believe while you were going through it, but then the same people who didn't believe would turn around and say the same thing once it was their turn. I believe that you will one day hold your baby, and it sucks so much right now, but it will disappear then. I am sure you don't believe me, but everyone here will have enough faith for you when you can't find yours. Please take care of yourself and let the board be your ranting space.

C (26) and S (27) and our little N, born June 18, 2013
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