How do I find a community? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 09-29-2012, 08:24 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm hoping this is the right place to post this (this is not my first post, but I had to change my old user name because I lost the password) but I'm pretty sure it is. I dated many women throughout college and considered myself bisexual, I met my husband and got surprise pregnant less than a year after starting dating. I was very young and he was a fair amount older than me and I think I lost a big part of myself in there, including my acceptance of my own desire to be with women and not men. I was a very insecure person then, and he has some baggage and we continued in a very rocky relationship for the past few years. We have a beautiful child who is amazing and we both are very active, involved parents. I am newly separated from my stbx, live in a very rural, eastern state, in a very VERY tiny town. I used to know how to meet women and the queer community in the city/town I went to college in, but now I have no idea where to begin. It's not that I am looking to begin dating, I am not ready for that, but I don't know how to find a community in which I might find a friend or two as I go through the process of separating my life from his and moving forward in my life, as a single parent, as a young(er) mother, and as a gay woman.

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#2 of 5 Old 10-01-2012, 02:12 PM
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Depending on where you are and how far it is from a less rural area, that could be hard. But sports and activities (hiking etc) are a good way to hang out with new people. Check the web for any lesbian, gay, or women's sites or publications in your state, even if it's in the capital city far away. They sometimes have listings of social or recreation/sports organizations. Here's a site that could help


Good luck! Mind if I ask what state?

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#3 of 5 Old 10-01-2012, 02:57 PM
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I'd look at, too. I'm surprised by how many groups there are in places that I thought were pretty isolated. Maybe you'll find one near you!

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#4 of 5 Old 10-03-2012, 06:43 AM - Thread Starter
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Thank you both for your responses. Meeting new people is just feeling overwhelming as I have become fairly isolated, friend-wise.

I will check out the resources you have both suggested.

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#5 of 5 Old 10-04-2012, 05:33 AM
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Hey, maybe we're neighbors! No, wait, we're the birthplace of aviation.  Bummer.


We live in the middle of nowhere. We are about 20 miles from a college town and 60 miles from the closest gay bar (not that that's what you're looking for, just for perspective).


I don't know about you, but having kids made me feel invisible in the queer community. My partner is young and struggles with finding new friends because family life is very different than college life.



If you live near a college town, take a look at campus groups. Queer and feminist groups are both lovely for finding friends. We see the occasional queer at the farmer's market and library. It's kind of weird walking up to someone and introducing yourself just because of sexuality, but I've certainly done it (I've lived here for 6 years and recently met my first queer family besides my own).


Finally, I met my partner on OKcupid. You can say if you're looking for friends or dating or whatever. I learned that there are more people in my area than I realized.

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