Queer Conceptions: November 2012 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 267 Old 10-28-2012, 10:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to November! dust.gif

 

It's time to make some Late Summer Babies! 

PLEASE PUT YOUR UPDATES IN BOLD!


Waiting to O whistling.gif

*hoping2bmoms

*nemplsgirl

 

*granite

 

*fmorris28

 

*mrsandmrs

 

*SunandEr

 

*SanDiego78

 

*scorpioma 

 

*esenbee2

 

*Friederike 

 

*sotohana 

 

*Twomommyfamily

 

*Sphinxy

 

*DarcySD

 

Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW fingersx.gif

 

*joyseattle

 

*fillefantome chart1new.gif

Working on IVF makebabe.gif

*kgulbransen

Taking a Break/Figuring Things Out/Waiting to be Ready wool.gif

 

*JustAnotherJenny

 

*invitnconceptn

 

*MonkCP

*lovestreet13

*HeatherandKim

*mandalin79

*Photo Girl

*2justicemamas

*twinkleeyes

*justrose13 & JenMostOften

*MrsPP

*wannabmomkt

*rs11

*Amt1015

*darthtunaqueen

*TineyDreams

*Gellybeangrl

2012 Graduates! babyf.gif
October *cordelia15 joy.gif*pokeyAC joy.gif *easttowest joy.gif *erinTNgirl joy.gif*outdoorsy joy.gif
September *Wishin'&hopin' carrot.gif *lisedea carrot.gif *Tandy401 carrot.gif
August *thenewzero banana.gif*KnittingTigers banana.gif *TaraL banana.gif
July *Cananny broc1.gif
May *mtnlisa joy.gif
April *nosreves carrot.gif
March *SkyandTru banana.gif *JuneBug banana.gif
February *MidwifeStephPDX broc1.gif *SouthernBelle24 broc1.gif
January *Planet joy.gif *Dandylez joy.gif

2011 Graduates!
December * DesertSunsets
November * Aljm41910
October * Vienna79 * KSDoulaMama *Pleasantlyfurious *SwtRainbowBrite * Go_Vegan
September * Smilingsara * Ad Astra * Mumquest
August *Prettyisa
July * Onemommyonemama * Southern Fried Karma
June * CrystalPerez * Qmama42
May * KellySF
April * want2bmumx2 * Indigoscot & DP
March * Graceie * Seraf * 2ezforyou *Mommy55
February * Escher 10/24/11 *SharriKitColorado* DAWNMP1
January * Starling&diesel 10/2/11

2010 Graduates!
November * Mizyellow 7/25/11 * AmyPDX 7/30/11 * AmandaHope 8/3/11 * Cejae 7/4/11
September * Solejean 5/19/11 * Painefaria 6/5/11
August * Bttrflygypsy 4/10/11 * 2happymamas 4/15/11 * LibraryLady 4/15/11
July * Beastie 3/21/11 * Gumshoegirl007 4/2/11 * Wehrli 4/1/11
June * Coco & DP 2/14/11
May * Burg 2/4/11 * Korey 2/1/11
April * Calimeow * Mtnlisa * Kimlyn32
February * Mistral * Quasar & smartycat * Monarchgrrl * Erthe_mama & DP
January * Lyndzies * FtMpapa

2009 Graduates!
December* Osker * Megan sacha * Mkpgoddess
October * JJNoho * Mommies 2 Be * Megincl & Ktcl
September * Elismum1908 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious
August * Chicagoml * Wishin'&hopin'
July * Hbog
May * Indigoscot's dp
April * Kelmendi * KJM * Whoabethy * Carmen
March * Scalpel * Katwomyn4
February * Deny_zoo29
January * Jodybird511


me (28) married to dp (30) + 2 dog fur-kids!  TTC our first baby!  baby.gif

BFP in 2009: still grieving my loss

4 tries so far (two with frozen, two with KD): all BFN

 

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#2 of 267 Old 10-28-2012, 10:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey everyone!

 

I know it is not quite November, but here we go!

Let me know if you are in the wrong category: I think there is at least 1 graduate in there!

 

Happy Baby-making, one step at a time!  love.gif

 

xo

scorp


me (28) married to dp (30) + 2 dog fur-kids!  TTC our first baby!  baby.gif

BFP in 2009: still grieving my loss

4 tries so far (two with frozen, two with KD): all BFN

 

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#3 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 06:11 AM
 
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SanDiego:   WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!  WHAT A WONDERFUL TREAT!

 

 

joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif


Me36), PCOS -  IUI#1 post HSG w/50mg clomid & trigger 7/25/12: BFN  & med break for cyst IUI#2  9-9-12 BFN IUI#3 10-2013 BFN  IUI#4  2-18-13 same meds, new donor BFN, IUI#5 6/1/13 100mg clomid trigger, BFN,  IUI#6 TBD 8-2013 GONAL-F and trigger blogging.jpgdog2.gifcat.gifcat.gif

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#4 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 08:48 AM
 
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Scorpioma - Fingers crossed that your insem timings are perfect and best wishes on your tww.

 

Can you please put me under Waiting to O? It's a bit early, but I can hang out there for 3 weeks.
 


Joy (29), wife to C (28) and dog-momma to Kai (6).
After a ridiculously long break, we resumed ttc (me carrying) with frozen donor sperm, home insem day of O (11/20) = bfp! Wishing for a sticky baby!

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#5 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 08:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You got it! Glad to do it. 3 weeks are gonna fly!


me (28) married to dp (30) + 2 dog fur-kids!  TTC our first baby!  baby.gif

BFP in 2009: still grieving my loss

4 tries so far (two with frozen, two with KD): all BFN

 

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#6 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 11:20 AM
 
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granite -- did your doc give you some prometrium to jumpstart a fresh cycle, or what's the plan for you at this point?

 

scorpioma - your timing looks great! congrats! 

 

sandiego ! energy.gifenergy.gifenergy.gifenergy.gifcongrats! keep us posted ! energy.gifenergy.gifenergy.gifenergy.gif

 

sorry if i missed people. i think i missed some stuff in the change over to the new month! 

 

AFM - egads. my doc decided i have to rest for a cycle before i can do another follistim cycle. i am so frustrated. i can't get pregnant if we can never try! and i'm convinced that i will have ovarian cysts whenever he finally lets us try again, which will put us another month behind. this frustration is exacerbated by the fact that we waited four years to start TTC (saving up money for out-of-pocket treatments + buying a house took precedence), we've been going to the doctor for more than a year now, and pretty much every single person i've ever known in my lifetime has had a kid or gotten pregnant in the five years since we started this. i feel like we need to be more aggressive and pursue all of our other options, like our second uterus and adoption, because it feels like this will literally never. ever. happen. my (pregnant and new parent) friends are so supportive "oh, you'll get pregnant so soon!" and all i can muster is an angry "maybe." i just feel like, it may not EVER happen and aren't you going to feel like a jerk!

 

i am becoming a bitter infertile person before my very own eyes! ok, thanks for letting me vent. happy halloween everyone! 


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#7 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 11:39 AM
 
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Mrsandmrs - I'm sorry to hear about the delay and that you're feeling discouraged and angry. I felt the same way. Friends want to say something encouraging, but they don't know what to say. I think they're afraid to say something like "I'll be here to console you if you never get pregnant" because they don't want to suggest that they think you never will. I know your life is hard right now -- I have been there! Hugs--- hug2.gif


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#8 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 12:57 PM
 
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Thanks, Outdoorsy. I know they want to be encouraging but really - I'm not bringing it up in conversation. They could stop asking about it and then they wouldn't have to say anything. Obviously if I had good news to share, they would know already. Is there some kind of "sensitivity training" for friends of people struggling to conceive? I am really ranting! I have some friends that are great. But wow, the ones who aren't really piss me off lately. Again, it is mostly just the frustration with my doctor and all the waiting. and waiting. and more waiting. 


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#9 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 02:20 PM
 
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Mrs--I am so sorry that you are going through this. I had to stop talking/seeing friends that were insensitive (even though I knew that they didn't mean to be) for my own sanity. There was also a point that I avoided these boards too--only because it seemed like everyone around was getting pregnant so easily and I couldn't take it. This is obviously not something that everyone would resort to but it truly made me feel less bitter and I had a better hold on my emotions and a more positive outlook for my future as a mother. Hang in there. hug.gif

ETA: I now talk to the friends I avoided and, in the end, they understood why I had to take a step back. It was probably easier on them as well since they didn't know how to react...

M (30), D (30)  TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! bigeyes.gif Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!

 

Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.

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#10 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 03:07 PM
 
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mrs - I'm sorry you are feeling frustrated and annoyed.  My doctor made me take a month off after my first injectable cycle too.  I needed the mental break though.  It was a really tough BFN.  The thing that gave me hope was seeing the success others here had on their second round of injectables.  Cananny, nosreves, Lisedea and I all got pregnant the second time.  I can't guarantee it will happen, but I have a good feeling.   




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#11 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 03:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsandmrs View Post
i can't get pregnant if we can never try!

I hear your... And I've been at this a lot less time that you, m&m, so I imagine it must be a million times worse... Sometimes I really wish I hadn't told so many people when DP and I decided to make a baby. At the time, it made sense, cuz we'd previously been planning to move away, and all our friends wanted to know why we'd decided to stay here... But even way back at that point, too many of them reacted with "congrats!", which bothered me: I mean, we didn't know if it would work, and this was before I was diagnosed with PCOS. Anyway, now we get asked about the as-yet-nonexistent baby all the time, and it's hard.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsandmrs View Post

granite -- did your doc give you some prometrium to jumpstart a fresh cycle, or what's the plan for you at this point?

As it turns out, my previous update of the drug protocol was wrong, so here's what's really happening: I went for bloodwork last week on CD30, and it showed that my LH and estradiol were still low like they had been for weeks (hovering around 15 IU/L and 145 pmol/L respectively). This is pretty typical of my PCOS symptoms, in that I occasionally don't ovulate until CD40 or later. But apparently this can lead to low-quality eggs/lining, so the doc has me taking 10mg of medroxyprogesterone acetate (essentially, yes, prometrium!) each day for a week. I'll finish that up tomorrow and AF should arrive shortly, whereupon I start up again on clomiphene again on CD3... This time 100mg for 7 days, instead of the 50mg for 5 days I did last time.

 

It's great to have an expert running the show, and I feel grateful that I don't need to take on all the specialized knowledge required to best deal with my situation. Having said that, this is so much more medicalized than I ever thought my route-to-baby would be, and sometimes it feels like it's happening to someone else, not me.

 

Fodder for my next therapy session, hmmmm.


Queer and parenting kid #1, born November 2013 heartbeat.gif
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#12 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 04:32 PM
 
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Granite - tell me about it! I have not been "diagnosed" with PCOS, but I have a lot of "PCOS-like" symptoms, especially annovulatory cycles. In fact, so far as I can tell, I don't ovulate at all without fertility drugs. My fertilityfriend charts go back to 2007 (again, see previous rant about how this is never going to happen). Once I realized I didn't ovulate on my own and we really needed help, we put ourselves on a serious financial budget and started socking money away. My doc put me on metformin in May, and I actually had a few "normal" cycles once that kicked in (for me, I think "normal" is anything less than 30 days from AF to AF) so I was hopeful once we could try again, that the metformin would be a good boost. I have heard for some women it works better than clomid, but obviously my personal experience doesn't speak to that! Anyway, long story to say I hear what you're saying about cycles that go forever and the frustration of pcos complications. I have taken the medroxyprogesterone literally more times than i can count to start a fresh cycle. I hope this one works out for you! 

 

 

thanks, pokey & lisedea for popping in with the support. xoxo


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#13 of 267 Old 10-31-2012, 11:29 PM
 
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I have a question that I'm hoping to get some advice about. I often have a temp drop around 7-10dpo and my luteal phase is usually 12-13 days long. I know that 12-13 days is still considered fine, but the temps are concerning me and I'm wondering if this is a progesterone deficiency. My ob/gyn said she wouldn't want me to take progesterone supps unless absolutely necessary as it could impact my other hormones (thyroid mainly since I have hypothyroidism) and I think she was implying I would wait to see an RE, my family practice doc recently said to not be concerned based on length, my acupuncturist said we'll do a 7dpo session to help keep it up, and I haven't seen my naturopath recently or an RE at all. Since our sperm is limited and expensive, I don't want to risk a cycle where something goes wrong that could have been avoided.

 

Should I try to advocate for my ob/gyn, family doc or naturopath to order a progesterone test after insem next cycle?

Any idea how much that would be OOP?

 

Thanks!


Joy (29), wife to C (28) and dog-momma to Kai (6).
After a ridiculously long break, we resumed ttc (me carrying) with frozen donor sperm, home insem day of O (11/20) = bfp! Wishing for a sticky baby!

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#14 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 05:30 AM
 
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joy--I would seriously consider looking into an RE if it is possible. If it isn't possible, yes! advocate for the test. (Sorry, I don't know how much they cost...my insurance covered testing.) Normally, REs or FSs run tests on all hormones during your first cycle or two to make sure everything is normal--and if levels are not right, you know what you can do so you aren't wasting $$ and time. I spent my first year doing at home IUIs and ICIs without having all of the initial testing done...and after not being able to keep a pregnancy, found out my levels were off! I was really upset with myself for a while in assuming that all would just go "according to planned". I guess these last couple of years though have shown me that nothing goes according to planned! smile.gif Anyway, good luck!

I hope you don't all mind that I pop on now and again...if it bothers you, please let me know--I will not be offended! I feel like I have been a part of this board for so long that it is just hard to break all ties! eyesroll.gif

M (30), D (30)  TTC #1 since October 2010. 13 unsuccessful cycles--no meds (2 m/c). First medicated IUI July 2012: BFN. Second medicated IUI: BFP! Triplets! bigeyes.gif Actual Due Date: May 17...GOAL: April 5th!

 

Sawyer, Elliott, and Miles arrived on March 24th @ 32 weeks & 2 days.

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#15 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 07:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you to all of you for your honesty in feelings & experiences.

It's good for all of us to hear the tough stories/feelings just as well as the successful ones. I am having my typical post-insemination panic/depression, SURE that it was wrong timing or that it didn't take. It seems silly in light of how short I've been trying, and how just like lisedea said, "nothing goes as planned."

I appreciate the advice about RE's and intervention, as well. Good for all of us to consider all options as we go on in this process. 

 

anyways, just thanks to you guys.

all we can do is put one foot in front of the other, you know? I am sending love to those of you who are having lots of bitterness/frustration.

xo


me (28) married to dp (30) + 2 dog fur-kids!  TTC our first baby!  baby.gif

BFP in 2009: still grieving my loss

4 tries so far (two with frozen, two with KD): all BFN

 

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#16 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 07:47 AM
 
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Joy - I agree with lise. I don't know how long you've been trying, but if you want to stick with low intervention for now, just getting the progesterone test may be enough. But I think you should get it. (Sorry, I don't know the cost either.) If you've been trying for a while and/or you continue to have symptoms of problems, such as wacky temps, anovulation, irregular periods, etc., I would "get thee to an RE" (Hamlet reference) as soon as your insurance will allow and/or if you can afford it out of pocket if you don't have coverage. I got pregnant on my second cycle with the RE, and it's just so reassuring to have the u/s monitoring and bloodwork so you know exactly when to insem, and that your hormones are OK. Be aware, though, that the sticker price at an RE is often higher than at an ob or midwife's office for the same procedures. As I'm sure you know, many insurance plans will not cover these kinds of services unless you have been trying for a certain amount of time or you can prove ovulatory dysfunction. I also had to have an HSG to show my tubes weren't blocked before I'd be covered.

 

Lise - You are more than welcome here! For the new people who don't know her, Lise is a veteran of the heartbreaks and battles of this board!


babyf.gif... due in late June.

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#17 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 09:18 AM
 
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joy - Do you have spotting before AF?  When your temp drops, does it stay down until AF, or does it go back up?  Does it drop below the coverline?  Does your acupuncturist review your charts?  Sometimes temps fluctuate a little and it might not mean anything is wrong.  My temps fluctuate a little even when I am taking progesterone supplements, but they stay above the coverline.  My progesterone did test low, and I was able to raise it through medication and such.  I also do acupuncture and herbs.  More recently I started taking b6 100mg a day because it is supposed to strengthen the corpus luteum.  I noticed that I had less spotting before AF so I kept taking it.  Getting it tested is pretty easy so I would get it checked out if I were you.  If it's fine, that's one less thing you have to worry about.  Don't worry too much because it is something you can improve and it's good that you're getting an early start on it.




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#18 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 09:43 AM
 
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Just a quick post from my phone to say Hi! We are doing OK, finally got our electricity back this morning but still no internet. Thankfully, FedEx was able to deliver our swimmers last night! Got a neg OPK today, but wasn't really expecting to see a pos before tomorrow anyway. Good luck to everyone waiting! Scorpio - my suggestion is trust yourself and your body. I'm sure you did everything you could short of looking into a crystal ball to get the timing right.

My wife (30) and I (32) have been legally married since 2006. We are proud queer mamas to baby W, born 10/10/2013.
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#19 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 09:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks Sphinxy!

Good luck on insem. and keep us informed!

Peace.gif


me (28) married to dp (30) + 2 dog fur-kids!  TTC our first baby!  baby.gif

BFP in 2009: still grieving my loss

4 tries so far (two with frozen, two with KD): all BFN

 

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#20 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 10:38 AM
 
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Thanks for responding and sharing!


So of course my intuition/panic about this last night was the result of PMS symptoms because I'm spotting this morning at 10dpo, the shortest luteal phase I've every had. Of course this would happen the cycle before we start, but I guess better now than after an insem, right?!


I do sometimes get spotting right before full flow, but usually the day AF starts (not days before). My temp often starts dropping between 7-10dpo, sometimes comes up a bit, but never to the full peak level. It stays above coverline for the luteal phase (usually 12-14 days) and only hits/crosses the coverline the day of CD1. Chart here:


In general, I do acupuncture twice a month (CD1 and around O) when not ttc, and with ttc cycles it will be 3-4/cycle (most likely CD1, CD7, O, 7dpo). She does review my charts and I'm fairly certain she's on board with the idea that I need support (acu, herbs again maybe, and/or progesterone).


I've emailed my family practice doc about this, scheduled acu for tomorrow (stress-reduction!), made an appt with my naturopath for next Tuesday and a phone consult with the fertility clinic for 11/16 (too late for this cycle but it will get the ball rolling). I'm going to try to get my family practice doc, naturopath or ob/gyn to order a 7dpo progesterone test. I will call a few labs to get quotes on prices I'm assuming it won't be covered and if it is then that's great.


I have no fertility coverage at any point so it's all OOP. I was hoping to do 2-3 cycles at home (Nov and Dec) then move to monitoring and maybe meds at the RE (Jan, Feb at the latest), but if we feel the need to do that sooner it would be with my cycle after this (Dec) at the soonest we could get in. Regardless, I feel better just to have those things in the works.
 


Joy (29), wife to C (28) and dog-momma to Kai (6).
After a ridiculously long break, we resumed ttc (me carrying) with frozen donor sperm, home insem day of O (11/20) = bfp! Wishing for a sticky baby!

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#21 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 07:05 PM
 
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I have sad news unfortunately to share, numbers were increasing as they should up until today, our third beta....DWs numbers decreased by almost half, meaning this looks to be a chemical pregnancy.  It's been a very rough day for us.


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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#22 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 08:27 PM
 
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Oh, I'm so sorry, SanDiego... That's awful.  Hugs to both you and your DW hug2.gif
 


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#23 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 09:03 PM
 
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I'm so sorry SanDiego.  The same thing happened with me, and it was very difficult.  Take it easy and take care of yourselves.  Sending healing thoughts your way.  hug2.gif  




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#24 of 267 Old 11-01-2012, 09:22 PM
 
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Oh no! SanDiego! Please take care of yourselves. That sucks. Sending lots of hugs & support. 


heartbeat.gif rainbow1284.gif wife (31) + wife (37) rainbow1284.gif heartbeat.gif & our three sons  bikenew.gifbabyf.gifbabyf.gif
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#25 of 267 Old 11-02-2012, 07:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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SanDiego: Take GOOD care of you and DW today and in the following days! Lots of spoiling!

I am so sorry for this news. We are here for you!


me (28) married to dp (30) + 2 dog fur-kids!  TTC our first baby!  baby.gif

BFP in 2009: still grieving my loss

4 tries so far (two with frozen, two with KD): all BFN

 

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#26 of 267 Old 11-02-2012, 07:24 AM
 
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SanDiego - I am so sorry! That is such difficult news to hear. Warm wishes to you and DW for healing, peace, and future success, very soon.

 

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#27 of 267 Old 11-02-2012, 08:53 AM
 
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SanDiego that's very sad news for you both, hope you're able to get through it OK together x


Liz (40) 'wife' to Abby (33). together 2001, 'Married' 2004. Fur babies Harvey, Bailey & Evie dog2.gif  & Churchill  cat.gif

 

Second IVF successful, he's here!!!!

DS born 12/4/2012, weight 6lb11 babyboy.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#28 of 267 Old 11-02-2012, 11:48 AM
 
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Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate all the support, it means a lot.  We'll continue on and keep trying when the time is ready. (most likely next month) I'm glad it's Friday, so we'll have the weekend to re-group, and start feeling better.  


me: 35 years old & my wife: 38 years old, started TTC in July 2012

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#29 of 267 Old 11-02-2012, 11:51 AM
 
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SanDiego: I'm so sad for your and DP.  Thinking of you and sending you both lots of love.


Me36), PCOS -  IUI#1 post HSG w/50mg clomid & trigger 7/25/12: BFN  & med break for cyst IUI#2  9-9-12 BFN IUI#3 10-2013 BFN  IUI#4  2-18-13 same meds, new donor BFN, IUI#5 6/1/13 100mg clomid trigger, BFN,  IUI#6 TBD 8-2013 GONAL-F and trigger blogging.jpgdog2.gifcat.gifcat.gif

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#30 of 267 Old 11-02-2012, 12:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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any chart experts want to give me a hand?

 

I have EWCM, but it is less than the day we inseminated, and more watery. 

Past two months I ovulated on day 18 or 19, and now it is day 21. Temperatures are different than last 2 months as you can see.

Not sure if I haven't ovulated, and we inseminated too early, or I am just having some CM after O and the temps haven't revealed the "bigger picture" yet.

My midwife thinks we ovulated on cd19 or 20, and that FF isn't always accurate (and can't be until after 3 days of risen temps anyways).

 

Thanks, friends.  

 

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3aa653


me (28) married to dp (30) + 2 dog fur-kids!  TTC our first baby!  baby.gif

BFP in 2009: still grieving my loss

4 tries so far (two with frozen, two with KD): all BFN

 

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